CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
GAbrIEL
The streets were damp and shiny from a sprinkle that had moved on through this evening.
Colorful holiday lights reflected off the cement, making everything sparkle with a strange sense of winter blues that made me want to cuddle up with the one I loved.
Instead, I was searching the city for Bev.
For the past few years, we’d spent our holidays worrying over my wayward sister that driving around at nine on Christmas night was normal.
It was a family tradition at this point.
My father and I had just returned to the car after banging the door to Bev’s boyfriend’s apartment down after no one answered. She wasn’t there, nor was he, which suggested they were off somewhere getting high together. How could she do this on fucking Christmas?
When we were in the car, Dad touched my shoulder. I winced and rotated my arm in its socket. “I’m just bruised.”
“You should have known better running into that door. This is real life, not the movies.”
“Yeah well, someone had to do it and I didn’t want you breaking a bone, old man,” I grumbled. “Sorry, I’m in a bad mood.”
“We’ll stop by the center and X-ray it in the morning.” He blew out a big breath and buried his face in his palms. “I don’t know where else to look.”
The raw emotion in his voice pissed me off. We’d all thought she was getting better, and her habit of disappearing was behind us. “Time to start calling hospitals, I suppose.”
Dad pinched the bridge of his nose and dialed home. My mother’s voice came over the car's speakers. The resignation in her tone was evident. She’d been through this too many times to care. Dad gave her the run down and she simply sighed.
“We’re going to start calling hospitals,” I spoke up.
“Okay—what? Hold on…” she said, and I could hear Jake talking in the background. “Are you sure? Here, dear, tell them.”
“Hello,” he muttered through the speaker. “Ah, you should check out a place under the ramp on Halsted and 16th. There is a dirt road that leads you back there.”
Mom came back on the line. “Did you get all that?”
“We will call you back,” Dad said and hung up. He stopped at a green light and just sat, gripping the wheel. He laughed mirthlessly. “What an impression we’ve made on him, huh?”
“He’s the one that has been freaking out about meeting everyone. I think he had this picture of a perfect family in his head where he’s the odd one out.” I should have prepared him better.
“I’m glad you brought him to meet the family,” Dad said, his attention on the road. I’m just sorry Bev picked this day to make trouble. He seems like a nice guy.”
“Yeah, he is,” I said, searching the few people on the sidewalk. She could be any of them. “Do I sense a but?”
“Butts are for chairs. I don’t see any chairs around here, do you?”
I grinned. “So you approve?”
“As if what we think matters?”
“Of course it does. He’s a little different. He’s…had a rough life. Jake isn’t like anyone I’ve been with before. Dad, I think he is the one.”
“That was fast, but it happens sometimes like that, doesn’t it? Your Mom and I? I always knew she was the one, but our love developed over time. Sometimes love just hits you like a train and drags you along with it.”
I couldn't help smiling at the thought of Jake. “I guess I’ve been looking for all the wrong types of people and in the wrong kinds of places. He was completely unexpected.”
“It happens like that too sometimes,” he said and play-punched my shoulder which made me grimace. “Sorry! I’m happy for you. I mean it.”
I blew out a big breath. “I’m never going to forgive Bev for this, you know that, right?”
Dad passed me a sorrowful look. “I’m sorry we ruined his Christmas.”
I had to laugh at that because Jake had been the one stressing about making bad impressions and ruining holidays. The traffic light went through another cycle.
“I was planning to tell you tomorrow, but now is a good time. I’m retiring at the end of next year, Gabe. I’ve thought about it and discussed it with your mother, and I think it’s time.”
All I could do was blink at him. He’d talked before about retiring early and he had the means to do it obviously.
“You understand what that means?”
I just stared at him because although I knew the clinic would eventually transfer into my hands, I never imagined it actually happening. I’d already gone through the typical fear responses of assuming control of the family business—What if I bring shame to our reputation?
“Do you think you’re ready to run the clinic, son?” He prompted.
I couldn’t help smiling like a kid on Christmas morning. “No, I don’t think I’ll ever be, but… Dad…”
“You’re a great doctor. You have plenty of experience. This year we’re going to have to work on finding your replacement.” He reached over and squeezed my neck. “I have every faith in you.”
I blinked back my tears. “Thanks.”
“We will talk about this some more another time.” His knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel. He nodded, his eyes glassy. “Okay. Your mom is right. You’re right. We're going home.”
I blew out a big breath. “The place Jake mentioned is on the way back so we might as well check it out.”
“We can’t keep doing this. I can’t. We should be at home celebrating. You shouldn’t be here with me searching dark alleys for an addict. It’s not fair to you.”
“You love Bev. Don’t apologize for that,” I said honestly.
He shook his head and huffed. “Okay, let’s check out this place Jake suggested. If she’s not there we go home and try to salvage what’s left of Christmas.”
It took a little effort to find the dirt road that led under the ramp.
It was gated and locked, but the fence next to it had been cut open.
Broken bottles crunched under our feet and dead weeds tangled our legs.
The cardboard tents and a used needle on the ground let me know this was the right place.
We split up, carefully looking for Bev among the homeless and mentally ill.
I was angry at her for putting us through this.
Most of the people here were bundled up and passed out so it was hard seeing who was who.
A small part of me hoped we didn’t find her, that she’d just disappear forever so my family didn’t have to suffer through this again.
The whole thing seriously sucked. I wanted to be with Jake right now and hold him, so he knew how precious he was. And I wanted to play with Amelia and make her laugh.
I stilled, eying a figure dressed in a dirty jacket and beanie propped against the stone supports.
Blond hair spilled out from the hat. It wasn’t her, was it?
She wouldn’t make it this easy. But it was and I hardly recognized her.
I called for my father and bent down to check her condition.
She was alive, thankfully but clearly out of it.
“Bev!” Dad shouted, on the brink of tears.
“Sorry…I forgot about dinner,” she whimpered.
“Her pulse is elevated, and her pupils are in miosis,” I said. “Bev, how long ago did you pop a rock?”
She rolled her head against the cement and moaned.
“You promised,” he growled. “Damn it, honey, you were doing so well.”
“Sorry…”
“Where is he, Bev?” I snarled. “Where is that motherfucker now?”
She started crying, the tears leaving clean streaks down her cheeks.
I couldn’t help thinking about Jake. He’d said his mother hadn’t been interested in him and I suspected she’d had an addiction problem of some sort.
It was hard stomaching the idea that he had to go through watching his mother like this.
“I have Narcan in the car,” Dad said.
We lugged her into the backseat, got the meds in her system, and raced to the emergency room.
She kept saying she was sorry, which didn’t mean Jack shit anymore.
I wanted to berate her, scream at her for putting everyone through this again and for messing up our Christmas.
I just needed to get her settled then climb into bed with my baby boy and hold him.
By the time I walked into my parents’ house, it was almost one in the morning, and I was raw. Mom was asleep on the couch with Amelia. I climbed the stairs to the guest bedroom in search of Jake because I needed to feel him against me. I was so mentally exhausted from the Bev merry-go-ground.
I found him sitting on the edge of the bed, clutching his duffle. He looked ragged and exhausted.
“Did you find her?” He asked.
“Yeah.” I plopped my butt next to him, bouncing on the mattress. “Thanks for that. I’m not sure we would have found her if not for you. She’s in the hospital now.”
He nodded slowly, still clutching his bag.
“Let’s sleep.” He didn’t move and I wrapped my arms around him, noting the tension in his body. “I’m sorry this didn’t go how I planned.”
“It’s not your fault,” he muttered and there was something in the tone of his voice that scared me. His eyes glittered in the low light as if he’d been crying. “I think maybe…I should go home.”
I opened my mouth to refute but couldn’t find the words. I was mentally and physically exhausted and had no strength to fight anything. I settled for, “I’m really fucking sorry.”
“I know,” he said on a breath. “You’re busy with family stuff and I don’t really belong here…”
My heart dropped. “I don’t understand. Of course you do. Jake, talk to me.”
“I just don’t think… I don’t want to embarrass you.”
Something punched me in the back of the head, and I winked in and out of consciousness. At least, that was the sensation his words delivered. “What? How could you think that? Where is this coming from?”
He pulled away as I reached for him and every organ in my body twisted. An icy chill gripped my heart.
“I just… You have a lot going on right now and you should take care of your family.” He hugged his bag tight to his body. “I’ll be fine. I’ll take an Uber home and…I’ll call you later or something.”
It took a lot of effort to get to my feet and find my wallet.
I pushed three twenties into his palm because he didn’t want to take the money and saw him off.
As the car rounded the corner I could hardly think anymore, just feel the ache in my shoulder and the chill in my chest. I collapsed in bed and slept until noon.
Jake hadn’t texted or called. The hours slipped by as everyone sat around in tense silence, waiting for the phone call to let us know Bev had finally succumbed to her addiction.
“Where’s Jake?” Amelia asked sullenly.
“He had to go home, seelie,” I said.
“When is he coming back?”
I gathered her into my arms and held her tightly. “I’m not sure.”
The call from the hospital never came, and neither did Jake call nor text me.
It wasn’t until two days later when I’d heard nothing from him that I realized he’d dumped me.
And it was totally my fault. He’d let me know from the beginning he needed slow, and I’d forced him into a situation he wasn’t prepared for because I’d been blinded by happiness.
I’d scared him off. My throat tightened as I stared at my phone through tears.
“Gabe, dear?” Mom said softly as she sat next to me on the couch. “Can I talk to you about something?”