Chapter 28 - Kalla
Kalla
XXVIII
I wouldn’t cry.
Whatever emotions clawed at my insides, demanding release, I would not shed a tear for a fae I’d met a little over a week ago.
It was absurd that I should feel anything for him at all. I was a fool for allowing a pair of pointed ears, a rough laugh, and a bit of song to upend my life.
But the usual logic wasn’t helping me. All I could hear was the shock and fear in Jael’s voice when Cliff had announced we were leaving. As though he hadn’t wanted us to go.
Hadn’t wanted me to go.
I couldn’t afford to think like that, or I’d never be able to walk away.
“Are we sure it’s a good idea, leaving them on their own?” Ria asked as she trudged over the rocky terrain.
I stumbled over an exposed root, caught off guard by her question.
We’d left the trail to press through the woods, intending to shorten the route now that we didn’t need to worry about leading our blindfolded guests. First, though, we needed to circle back to where we’d fought those guards so we could hide the corpses until a team could deal with them.
“What do you suggest?” Cliff asked from the front of the line. “That we break even more rules and engage in a fight that has nothing to do with us? That would actually make our lives more difficult? The rebels know what they’re about.”
Birch snorted. “Yeah, okay. Pimmin? That fae never left the kitchen. The magic they work with spices…”
The moan that snaked out of his mouth drew a smile from me. I couldn’t regret having spent the night with Jael enjoying our own spiciness, but I did wish my friends had saved me a bite of that meal they were raving about.
“And what about Hethyr?” Ria asked. “That woman is all sweet and no stab. I mean, I say that. She’s obviously pretty stabby or she wouldn’t be out here looking to commit murder, but I don’t think she wants to.”
Cliff threw his arms into the air. “I will concede they are an unlikely group, but Corban has enough rage for the bunch of them. Let him throw himself into the mess, and the others can decide what they want to do.” He pinned Ria with a look over his shoulder, and I didn’t fail to notice the way he swept me into that glance as well.
“It’s none of our business. They’re not vampires.
As long as they’re in our territory, they’re the enemy. ”
Meaning if they did survive—if they didn’t cross the border before we found them again—we’d have no choice but to kill them.
I heard him. I did.
I just wished I didn’t.
“I’m not saying we fight their battle,” Ria argued, stomping along beside me. “I just wish that we’d tried to... I don’t know. Talk them out of it or something. If they hadn’t been so determined to kill this princess, we could have kept them in the nest.”
Cliff snorted. “Like pets?”
“Like members of the fury,” she pushed. “Specifically members of the fury who can cook. Thorn might not have liked the idea, but you know we could have talked her around. Especially once they made dinner for her. She’s not one to cave to bribes, but that stew could crack the Nightfall King himself, I’m certain of it. ”
And then maybe he’d retract his grandfather’s ban on vampires, and we could all live happily in the city as one united country.
A lovely idea based on the wisps of my youthful dreams. Back when I’d hoped Thorn had been wrong about my parents’ deaths and that they’d appear one day under the mountain ready to scoop me into their arms. It had been a long time since I’d indulged in those kinds of fantasies.
Really, it had been a long time since I’d considered the idea of love at all. I loved Cliff. I loved Thorn. I loved Ria and Birch and the other members of my community. They were family. But it wasn’t passion. It wasn’t tilt-my-world-upside-down ardour.
I hated that Jael’s face came to mind when I followed that line of thought.
How was I supposed to go back to my cage like a good little vampire now that I’d tasted my dream of having something I didn’t share with anyone else?
Guilt snaked through me that my loyalties should be in question, and under Cliff’s brief, pointed stare, my cheeks flushed.
One way or another, I needed to make it work.
“Cliff’s right,” I heard myself say. Ria turned to me in surprise, no doubt having believed I’d back her up.
I didn’t let her know how deep my desire ran to do exactly that.
If I dropped the smallest hint, she would pounce on it and drag my admission out of me, and that was a humiliation I wasn’t ready to suffer.
“They’ve been vocal about their intentions with this princess.
Trying to talk them out of it would have been a waste of breath.
” I looked through the branches to the sky, checking the position of the moon as an excuse to avert my face so the others couldn’t see the expression that undoubtedly belied my tone.
“We should pick up our pace. I’d like to get at least halfway home before sunrise. ”
It had nothing to do with the fact that I wanted to be as far from this fight as possible before it began. I didn’t want to have to hear it.
Didn’t want to imagine Jael’s blood being spilled across the ground with no one to mourn him.