Chapter 29 - Jael
Jael
XXIX
Hethyr crouched beside me on one side of the trail.
Shadows wrapped around us, and she pulled her light magic in to shroud us further.
My own magic tickled the back of my neck, begging to be used, but when I reached for it, it faded.
For six years, I’d believed it had died for good.
Because of Kalla, I now knew it had been there the entire time, cramped and neglected.
It would take work to refamiliarize myself with it, and I might never have the chance.
I wouldn’t have thought such a thing could pain me, but grief squeezed my lungs with the loss of yet another beautiful part of my life.
Shrugging off the unexpected heaviness, I refocused on the trail ahead.
The princess and her entourage were within view.
During the time I’d watched, I’d counted four soldiers guarding her.
The same number that had survived the initial ambush despite the second wave.
Had they sent all their fresh soldiers after us in the woods?
The explanation didn’t make sense, but neither did any of the others I came up with.
Although there were fewer guards than I’d expected, I knew we were at a severe disadvantage. With the vampires with us, the conflict would have been nothing, but only Corban and I were solid in a fight, and I was still exhausted from our last encounter.
They’d set up camp beside the trail, using the carriage as an extension of the large tent they’d erected for Her Highness. Right now, she sat outside it, perched on a delicate stool and clutching a mug of something between her hands while the royal guards packed up to leave.
I tightened my grip on my dagger and glared at her profile.
No one could deny she was enchanting. In the flickering light of their campfire, her glossy blond hair fell in thick waves over her shoulders, framing the gentle points of her ears. Her features were defined, not quite harsh enough to be sharp but by no means soft.
Her slim figure was draped in pale silver-blue gossamer and silk.
She was a joke. A walking stereotype of everything humans believed fae to be. A pawn of her father’s, but no kind creature herself. As cold as glass, though she hid it well behind her bright smiles and gentle words.
Whatever reason King Leonine had for sending his daughter to Golthwaine, it wasn’t in the spirit of kinship. I’d be doing Golthwaine and my people a favour by getting rid of her.
So why couldn’t I draw my blade?
Why hadn’t I taken a single step from this spot? With every beat of my heart, I felt morning creeping closer. My time with the vampires had made me attuned to the change. Right now, everything in the woods was asleep, but as soon as the guards packed everything up, we would lose our opportunity.
So why couldn’t I move?
Do you have any idea how lucky you are? Kalla’s given up so much of her life to save you. She risked the rest of it to sneak you out.
My renegade memories veered to the way Cliff had attacked me with justified accusation. Depending on how Golthwaine and Soldara chose to respond to this attack, my decisions today could change the course of Kalla’s life. By allowing her to help us escape, they already had.
But they could also change the course of my country’s fate. Yes, I was here for my own satisfaction, but the Coynfare existed for a reason. Leonine couldn’t be left to rule.
I gritted my teeth and shifted my weight, daring myself to charge the camp. All I needed to do was take the guards by surprise, drive my knife into Brynna’s chest, and this would be over.
It didn’t even have to be me. Let Corban do the honours if he felt so strongly about it. At least we’d get it done.
“Do you really believe this will change anything?”
Hethyr’s voice was so quiet I thought I’d misheard her. Or maybe she hadn’t spoken and the voices in my head had grown louder.
When I looked at her, she stared at me with steeled confidence, but I didn’t miss how she twisted her fingers into the hem of her tunic, a nervous habit.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“The princess. This whole rebellion.” She puffed out a breath.
“Look, I know the king is a waste of air. He treated us like garbage. He sees everyone in his circle as beneath him, he’s cruel, and he probably doesn’t deserve to wear that crown.
But to go after his daughter? I understand the logic, but it’s cold.
Zath had his reasons, and maybe if we’d succeeded that first night, I’d feel differently, but this seems..
.” She sighed. “Hate me for saying it if you want, but I don’t see the point.
All these years, I’ve been so mired in hating that man that I haven’t seen any other way forward.
Spending time with Ria and Birch? Cooking for them?
Watching their expressions change when they discovered what real food tastes like?
I’d forgotten how much I love cooking. I hadn’t thought it was possible to find that kind of joy again, but it turns out I just needed to leave Soldara. ”
I worked my jaw, hearing her but not sure I wanted to. “What are you suggesting? That we walk away now that we’re here?”
That I do what I’d said I would after those first days with Kalla and put my revenge behind me?
Somehow it felt too late for that. Would Kalla accept me into her fury now?
Would Thorn even allow it? Or had I fucked things up so badly that my only option was to continue with this horrible, impossible plan?
Hethyr pressed her lips together and stared down at the princess’s campfire. “Why not? Now that Zath isn’t whispering in my ear and getting my blood up, this fight doesn’t seem worth it. Given the choice, I’d rather change the world with spices than with blades.”
“And leave Soldara under Leonine’s rule?” I was scrabbling at the foundations of the earth shaking beneath me, trying to hold on to my reasons for being here and for turning my back on Kalla.
Hethyr shot me a look of strained patience. “You know most of our people don’t see him the way we do. Soldara’s prospered under his rule. Sure, the poor are poorer, but do we honestly think that will change because we boot his ass out of the chair and put someone else in it?”
“It will,” I argued, though I struggled to put heat into my conviction. “It will because he’ll know who caused his fall. He’ll know the people he tortured were the reason for his destruction.”
It was everything I’d dreamed about since Zath had rescued me from the palace and put a dagger in my hand.
“Will he?” Hethyr pushed. “If he does, will he care? Or will he laugh because even with his death, the world will carry on as it always has and we’ll lose anyway?”
I wanted to lash out and remind her why we were here and what was at stake.
But just as my legs had refused to take a single step forward—just as my hand had refused to draw my weapon—my tongue refused to peel itself off the roof of my mouth.
“What’s the hold up?” Pimmin hissed as they and Corban crept out of the shadows behind us.
My dagger was in my hand, my vision sharpened, and my blood rushed in my ears.
I hadn’t noticed them crossing the trail.
They must have gone down quite a ways before coming over to our side, which I hoped meant they hadn’t been spotted.
Already our plan was going to shit and we hadn’t gotten close yet.
“I’m asking our leader some serious questions,” Hethyr said, still staring me down.
Pimmin’s eyes widened. “Oh wow. I didn’t think you’d work up the nerve.” They looked at me. “What do you think?”
The two had clearly held the same discussion at some point along our journey, and from the way neither of them flinched at my now being in the loop of their sedition, they felt strongly enough about it not to bear any shame for their doubts.
“What serious questions?” Corban demanded.
His knives were in his hands, and he struggled to stand still, everything about him eager to launch into battle.
How could he be so ready to die? “Why the fuck are we wasting time? If we wait any longer, they’ll leave.
Once she’s in the carriage, it’ll be that much harder to gain access to her. We should move now.”
I stared at him, taking in his passion for this mission and thinking about his response to Kalla’s challenge.
His answers to Ria’s questions hadn’t sat well with me, and I felt the same now.
Everything about his behaviour made me question his motives.
All this time, I’d believed his rage against Leonine was greater than mine, but now I had to wonder if his ambitions ran stronger than taking the king down.
If his true goal was to take leadership for himself, there was no way I would let him do it.
His rule would be the dawn of a new age of oppression—a rule of anger and vengeance.
Blood would spill and from more than just the high-ranking nobles who had laughed while Leonine tormented us.
“What happens after Brynna is dead?” I asked.
He scowled at me. “What do you mean? We go back to Soldara, wait for the war to decimate the armies we hate, and rip that fucker from his throne.”
“And if someone other than you wants to sit on it?”
Corban snorted, his glower raking me from hair to boot. “Like who? You, ledsha? You don’t have the spine to rule.”
“What about me?” Hethyr asked, her voice calm but her eyes burning. “Or Pimmin? Or anyone else in the Coynfare?”
“If anyone else in the Coynfare wanted to lead, they’d be here,” he snapped. “The cowards who stayed nice and cozy at home while we got our blades bloody don’t deserve the position.”
“Considering how things have gone, they were smart to stay away,” I said. “We’d probably be wise to do the same.”