Chapter Four
Emma glowered at her husband from the opposite bench in the carriage. Neither Thornton nor the driver had bothered to light the lantern inside the vehicle though the lanterns on the exterior threw off pools of dim golden illumination to help the driver navigate the roads.
They’d been engaged in the trip for what she assumed was an hour, and during that time, the duke hadn’t spoken to her at all. It wasn’t surprising, but she couldn’t quite puzzle out why he’d decided to kidnap her to his country estate after such a long separation.
Neither could she understand why she hadn’t tried to escape.
It wasn’t as if she was frightened by her husband.
She’d had a brief taste of his shifting moods during the first two months of their marriage, but his behavior tonight had certainly given her pause.
Had he always been that powerful and possessive?
A shiver went down her spine to lodge deep in her core as a reminder that she’d enjoyed that rushed, frantic coupling in the frozen garden even as she’d protested it.
Finally, she blew out a huff. So chilly inside the carriage that her breath clouded, she wished he would either sit next to her or give her his tailcoat. “Have you not understood that I’ve been stewing over here since we left London?”
He didn’t look at her. Instead, he preferred to contemplate the darkened world beyond the window glass. “I’m aware, and since it didn’t interest me, I dismissed it.”
Was he being deliberately an arse or was it a convenient screen to hide behind so she wouldn’t question him about other issues? It was difficult to decide. “Your answer to tackling the issues currently keeping us apart is to kidnap me?” It boggled the mind, really.
His shrug only lifted one shoulder. “I dislike Town. It’s crowded and noisy. Not conducive to having private conversations or delving into the depths of our problems.”
Fair enough but didn’t soothe her fears. Her gaze fell to his temporarily abandoned cane, and she wondered how much he truly depended upon it for navigation. “That’s not an answer.”
“It’s my answer.”
“Does everything need to center around you?”
“No, but seeing as how it does just now, here we are.”
Hot fury bubbled up inside her. “Have you always been an arse? Perhaps I just overlooked it because I was in love with you years ago.”
Was she still? It was something she’d need to ponder further, but not when she was so damned cold she feared she’d freeze to the leather bench.
That finally brought his gaze around. “I don’t believe I ever claimed I was a perfect gentleman.”
“And I never wanted perfection; I just wanted you.” But that had been apparently beyond him for whatever reason.
“At least we both have company in our disappointment.” He turned his head and contemplated the darkness once more.
That flippant response sent her irritation ratcheting upward.
As a shiver racked her shoulders, Emma glared anew at him.
Was she angry with him for his abandonment or his attitude?
Perhaps both, as well as everything in between.
Everything that had been silently building up inside her since his defection, that she couldn’t talk about unless she was with Susan.
And mostly, she was livid with herself for letting him use her carnally earlier that night because she’d wanted the release even if she hadn’t fully given him her permission.
But the fact he’d done it in such a scandalous way and setting? The ton would be
abuzz tomorrow with the story of how he’d carried her from the ballroom like a cave dweller. The one thing that had brought her a bit of amusement was that he’d been jealous enough to finally remember her existence that he’d made a public claim on her.
When several more moments of silence went by without Thornton introducing a new subject of discussion, she huffed in annoyance.
“Does this mean you aren’t planning to return to London soon?”
“I couldn’t begin to say at this moment.
” The rumble of his voice tickled through her chest. That was something else she’d forgotten about him—or had pushed from her mind—and at times during the two months she’d had with him, she’d encouraged him to read various things aloud to her merely so she could hear his voice.
It was glorious, like sweet drinking chocolate on the cold mornings upon waking.
“If you had previously planned this little abduction, I wish you would have told me so that I could have at least packed a few things.”
“You have plenty of clothes at Thornton Hall.”
“Yes, but the gowns are a couple of years out of style. Besides, the latest books and periodicals I’ve bought are still in London. I wasn’t finished reading them.”
“There are plenty of books in the library at Thornton Hall. You’ll survive.”
Why was he acting like such a prick? It was quite unsettling. “Since you are kidnapping me to the country estate, does that mean you wish to try and repair our union?”
Another long stretch of silence followed in inquiry. Finally, he turned his head and rested his dark blue gaze on her face. “Do you want the truth?”
“That is preferable.”
“My answer is that I don’t know. I’d come to London because I heard the rumors of your scandalous behavior, but as for repairing our marriage?” He shrugged. “I truly don’t know what I want in that quarter.”
At least he’d told her that. “Then why do it? Why spirit me off to your country estate at all? Why not go elsewhere?”
“My bees are at the hall.”
As if that explained everything.
“What the devil does that mean?”
“I have taken to keeping bees while I’ve been alone on the estate.
It helps to calm my mind and soothe my frazzled nerves.
” When she didn’t respond, he blew out a breath.
“I meant what I said. London is too noisy. I can barely hear my thoughts, which you’d think would prove a blessing, but since I’ve already mucked up so much, I don’t wish to add to that pile.
” Slowly, he shrugged. “I didn’t expect to see you tonight, but when I did, everything else fell away. You are my wife.”
Why would he emphasize that word? Just how much had he seen of her conversation with Galahad? “On paper perhaps.” Then his words sank into her frozen brain. Did he regret what he’d done before and took responsibility for that? Did he want to fix it?
“That doesn’t matter. You’re mine. And I remembered for a fleeting moment why I married you.”
Would it carry enough force to repair what was broken? She couldn’t dare to hope. “And?”
For the space of a few heartbeats, he continued to hold her gaze. “Frankly, I won’t tolerate you taking another man into your bed, especially one of my friends from the club.”
Ah, so he’d noticed the whole conversation.
“I am not an object to be possessed, Thornton.” Especially after he’d abandoned her.
Yet now that such a trait had been brought out in him, she felt…
wanted by him for the first time in a long while.
Was he rude and arrogant about it? Of course he was, and she would take him to task about that later, but in this moment, his captive attention was enough.
“And from your abandonment, I’ll wager you’ve given up that right. ”
“I am not considering you an object, but you need to remember you are still my wife, regardless that we’ve been separated. You carry my name; that means something.” His tone didn’t brook argument.
“Or it doesn’t. You’ve not cared before what I’ve done with my life for a long time.”
“That isn’t true.”
“Then why have you not written? Why have you not been in touch?”
“There is no easy answer.”
She huffed. “Of course you would say that.”
Thornton shrugged, and from his closed off body language, he clearly had no intentions of extending that subject. “You hadn’t decided to invoke my name in scandal before Christmastide.”
“Yet you didn’t seem to mind then. You’d come to Town but couldn’t bring yourself to call, not for pleasantries or chastisement. Why?”
He frowned. “I was a coward.”
“Yet you came this time to seek me out. The only reason why you didn’t is because you saw me at the ball tonight.
” When he remained quiet, Emma sighed. She narrowed her gaze and shivered.
Holding onto anger, allowing it to grow again after being dormant for so long would prove a detriment to her mental faculties eventually.
“For what it’s worth, I’ve only thought about taking things to the next scandalous level. ”
Another grunt. “You were quite cozy with Galahad earlier tonight.”
So she was, and what was more, she would have gone off to a private, shadowy room with him. “Can you blame me?”
“You would have let him fuck you, then? While married to me?”
“Why not? You didn’t seem interested since we’d wed.” She shrugged, refusing to let him drive her to defend herself. This was firmly his fault. “As of yet, though, I have only received a few kisses from a few men. Nothing more.”
“But you would have liked more.” It wasn’t a question.
“Perhaps. You weren’t here, and from all accounts, you wanted nothing else to do with me or our union.
I wished to move on.” Of course, since she was married to the duke, there was only so much she could do.
Become another man’s mistress, surely, but as to anything else?
Having legitimate children? No, there was no wiggle room there.
“The separation was needed.” He said nothing else.
This was the closest they’d come to having an actual conversation about things that mattered since he’d left.
“Why?” When he didn’t answer, she tried again.
“I wanted to gain your notice, Cecil.” Would using his Christian name make more of an impact on him?
“It’s broken my heart to know that you’d rather be alone than be with me for whatever reason. ”
“For your own protection, so you would forget me,” he said in a low, barely audible voice. “So this could fade away.”
What did that mean? One thing had bothered her, though. “Back in the garden…”
“Yes?”