Chapter 24 #2
“King Ignatus was set on having the land that’s now the Wastelands, greedy for its rich resources.
As you well know, the fae respect the land.
Vampires can, but Ignatus was not a good king—or vampire.
I did what I could, as his second in command, to make him understand that we did not need the land.
That it could remain a neutral ground as it always had.
You and I know things were not going well between our kings.
As I told the dragon, somehow he found out about our bond.
Oh, he was a jealous and vicious king. He hated that I had bound myself to you, and said my allegiance was no longer to him because of it.
King Ignatus used our relationship, compelling me to find something he could use against your king, something that would help him win what he sought.
The day you told me about the fae’s weakness wasn’t one I remembered, but when he forced,” the word comes out in a snarl, “me to recount that detail, it became as clear as if it had just happened. The way your face paled, holding your hands over your mouth, eyes wide…”
Mikael runs a hand through his hair. “Apologies. I’m sure that’s a memory you do not wish to recall.”
“It’s okay,” I respond.
I’m not sure if it’s okay, though; it’s still a deep regret I’ll always hold, even when I eventually forgive myself.
“I tried to hold the words back, to keep them from spilling forth. The pain was unfathomable, ripping me apart from the inside as I fought the compulsion. My veins bulged, and my mind felt as if it was going to explode. I would have welcomed death before speaking those traitorous words.”
Mikael pauses, letting silence fall like a heavy blade. When I look over at him, he speaks again. “This is quite the long tale. Are you sure you don’t want me to continue later?”
“We have nothing to do but ride through this forest at the moment. I think I’m ready now, to continue my own story.” My lips rise in a slight smile. I think it’s better this way, taking turns.
He sweeps out his hand. “As you wish.”
I don’t hesitate this time, letting the words spill free, breaking the dam that’s held them back for so long.
“I could not stand what I was witnessing. I knew by the way the fae warriors were being taken down, it was a result of my failure to keep our most guarded secret from you. There were only a select few who knew. As a child I overheard it, and even my father didn’t know I held the knowledge.
We are warned from an early age about meddling with the Fates, but I was desperate.
I took my leave from the front lines, walked in silence away from the battle and into the nearby forest until I came upon a meadow.
Falling to my knees, I sobbed, pouring every ounce of pain and guilt into our bond.
Every drop of fury. Everything I was feeling.
Then I called out to the Fates. Offered them whatever they wanted in exchange to stop the battle. ”
“I felt it. All of it. But I was chained up in the dungeons, unable to do anything about it.” Mikael’s voice cracks, and tears slide down his face, dripping onto his gloved hand.
He doesn’t try to hide it or wipe them away.
“It broke me. Not to take away your experience and pain, but every agonizing moment you felt, I felt. I knew exactly what you had done. Felt all of the hatred and torment until the bond extinguished like a flame. There one moment, and the next it was gone.”
“I… Oh, Mikael. I can’t say I’m sorry for feeling those emotions, but I’m so sorry they were directed at the wrong person.” Lifting my head to the sky, I pull in the cool air through my nostrils.
This is heavy.
So, so heavy.
All of it.
I thought I could do it, but I no longer want to continue. It’s already exhausting. “Maybe we should come back to—”
Mikael cuts me off. “No, Bryn. I know I just said we could wait, but I don’t think we should. We do it now, so we can leave it in the past, where it belongs, and move on. We have both held onto this for long enough.”
“Okay.” I don’t fight him on it because I know he’s right.
Mikael continues his story, giving me a break.
“Even though I could not speak your name, you plagued my dreams. I became a dark and vicious version of myself. The king relished in it, thinking he’d won, but it was because I hid that I raged against his cruelty beneath the surface.
Every second after he stole that memory from me, I wallowed in guilt, even though I had no control over how events unfolded.
When I could no longer feel you through our bond, I lost it.
If I had to live in misery and guilt, then everyone around me had to as well.
I’m not proud of some of the things I did, or the person I became.
Yet, in the end, it’s served me. I’m stronger, faster, and more resilient.
” He pauses, before adding, “That’s all, for now. ”
Nodding, I sigh, and continue with the rest of my own story.
“The Fates wanted magic they could not source themselves. If I wanted to stop the battle, then I had to become their vessel. Allow them to take magic from the land, funneling it through me and into their greedy hands. At the time, I didn’t care, didn’t even consider what the outcome of that bargain would be.
All I cared about were the lives at risk. So, I agreed.”
A shiver prickles down my spine like fingernails slowly moving along my skin. My body, sending a warning that speaking aloud my deeply guarded memories will again ignite the pain that surged through me that day.
I hesitate, a flicker of defensiveness rising from within, telling me I need to stop, to protect myself.
But I shake it off, rolling my shoulders, and continue.
“Before the last syllable of our agreement left my lips, my body contorted. My head was thrown back and chest yanked to the sky as my arms fell limply to my sides. A throat-wrenching scream was torn from my lungs. I was at the mercy of the land and the Fates while magic—not my own—coursed through my body. All that power was both bliss and pain. Black pushed in from the sides of my vision, threatening my consciousness, but I wanted to be aware of it all. It was torture that lasted as if an age and a half had passed. As the magic was drained from the land, it was sent in a brilliant beam of light into the sky. I have no idea if it was visible to anyone else, or how long I was used.”
“When it was over, I fell to the side, the dusty ground scratching against my cheek. As my vision returned to normal, I saw exactly what my bargain had done. I had allowed the Fates to remove all the magic from the land.
“Weakly, I rose and made my way back to where I had come from.
All the trees started to crumble, blowing away as dust. I watched the ground absorb the blood of all the dead warriors, fae and vampire alike, tainting and transforming the land into the crimson sands that remain.
Their broken and lifeless bodies were pulled into the dirt by whatever remaining magic that was clamoring for anything to grasp onto.
I sensed it, how it became twisted and vile, now wanting to take life from any who remained.
“I’m not even sure if I spoke aloud, but when I asked myself, What have I done?
the question was a cracked whisper on my lips.
One of the Fates appeared and brushed the tear from my cheek.
‘There has to be balance, dear child. For those you saved, there shall now be no life in this desolate strip of land. No immortal is safe here. If they try to cross and fail, they will cease to exist.’”
My chest expands as air fills my lungs in a way that it hasn’t in a long time. “That’s everything.”
“You did what you thought was right. And, it was the right choice, given the situation you were put in,” Mikael says.
“That’s what I’ve told myself.” As if the land itself knows I am ready to move on, the path ahead opens to rolling green hills covered in neatly aligned rows of vegetation. “We’re finally through the forest.”
The sun is at its zenith as we exit the trees, the terrain morphing into expansive fields stripped bare after the harvest. Golden stubble from wheat and barley sticks up, while in the distance farmhands work the soil, pulling root vegetables from the ground.
They’ll store the harvest in silos and cellars, keeping the cities fed through winter.
Within each of Eidrfall’s cities, rooftop greenhouses and small plots of land grow produce that doesn’t travel well—herbs, berries, tomatoes, and greens—and are better when freshly picked.
We veer to the left, heading east to ride along the tree line that leads to the Wastelands.
“Are you sure you want to take this route?” Mikael asks.
“No, but it’s the safest.” Seeing the Wastelands again, especially after recounting what happened, and the knowledge of the consequences, is something I’m not ready to face. I had thought I was, and maybe I would have been able to if I hadn’t dug up centuries of bricked-over memories.
“Then let’s ride hard, and I’ll be on my best behavior if we come across any soldiers,” Mikael says.
“Well, the problem is the soldiers know what you look like, especially if seen with me. Maybe we should dye your hair black?” I joke, a smile playing at my lips.
“I’m sure you would like that.”
“Wouldn’t hurt to try.” I shrug.
“Ready to ride?” he asks.
“It’s my favorite thing to do.” I smirk, giving him a sultry look before taking off at a gallop.