Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
The moon rises behind the snow-capped peaks of the Brokenridge Mountains as we leave the last of the farmlands behind. The rolling hills take us higher, the air biting as daylight slowly fades. By nightfall, the dark mass of the northern cliffs looms above us.
We continue to follow the river that flows from the mountain. It shimmers, stars distorted among the flowing water. I look up, gazing upon the constellations that shine brightly in the darkness of nature’s embrace. Away from the lights of cities, they are more visible, their beauty on full display.
I tug on the reins, slowing down my horse as we approach the shallow alcove carved into the base of the stone. It’s a safe location to stop for shelter and rest the horses. We’ve travelled far enough that we’ll reach Varithen by tomorrow.
Dismounting, I guide my horse to the river’s edge so she can replenish her energy and remove the saddlebag, taking it with me.
“It’s beautiful.” Mikael dismounts, unbuckling the saddlebags from his horse while looking around.
“I’ve been here a few times, and I always stop if I can work it into my travel plans. I found it by chance a few years back, and it has become one of my favorite places to rest,” I respond.
“I can see why. Bread and fruit?” he asks.
“Yes, more than ready.” I sit with my back against the cool stone wall of the alcove. It’s only deep enough to cover our heads and part of our legs, but I find comfort in knowing we can only be approached from the front or the side. Both of which I could see coming.
Mikael sits next to me and hands me a loaf of bread. “Do we agree on not having a fire?”
“I thought the same. Even though there shouldn’t be anyone around for miles, we’re at a higher altitude and it would be easier to spot. We don’t need unwanted attention. But it’ll make for a cold night.” I sink my teeth into the still crispy crust and tear a piece off.
The soft and airy dough is delicious, still fresh from this morning. The bakery in Norhaven had just removed them from the oven when we visited, before leaving. The scent wafted through the streets, teasing me, and I had to have some. It tastes as good as it smelled this morning.
The berries are okay, but at this point I’m starving, so anything that will fill my stomach is going down.
“You mean we have to keep each other warm?” Mikael teases.
I drop my head to the side and give him a look of exasperation, scoffing. “That’s what the blankets are for. Plus, you made it clear you don’t want my warmth.”
I had to buy all new things in town. Water flasks, clothing; all the supplies we lost in the ocean. Including blankets. I knew it would be cold at night, and I wasn’t going to forget to buy warm blankets because I knew he would say something like that.
I shake my head and laugh. Mikael smiles to himself as he eats. He’s so predictable, it’s endearing—even if it’s also tiresome.
“Check if any new tattoos have appeared.” Mikael pulls his tunic over his head and turns his back to me.
“Nothing,” I say through a mouth full of bread, holding up my finger as I swallow then adding, “Maybe we need intimacy for them to show up… Considering last time, I had to kiss you.”
“If you want me that badly, all you have to do is mean it.” He pulls his tunic back on.
“I meant it.” I roll my eyes at the reminder of being played. I did mean it. At least, in the sense that I wanted to get it over with.
“Giving in, and actually desiring a person are two different things. Make no mistake, I want it. Dreamed about you for centuries. But I won’t accept anything less than you really wanting it, and meaning it. Not because of the curse, or because you think that is what you should want.”
I let his words sink in as we finish our food among the myriad melodies of the night. I grab my saddlebag and pull out a blanket, covering myself with it to ward off the chill that the wind brings.
“Come here.” Mikael waves a hand at me, motioning for me to sit closer to him.
I hesitate for a moment too long, and suddenly his hands are on my waist, hauling me onto his lap. I let out a strangled cry of surprise, and he laughs in response.
Mikael sets me between his extended legs. My body fits perfectly, molding like it always did within his hold.
“Relax,” he whispers into my ear. “Just rest against me.”
I breathe out the tension that, at his touch, had immediately pulled all my muscles taut. It was an automatic response after holding on to hatred for so long.
I lean my head back against his chest and pull the blanket up, covering my legs and arms. Mindfully, I go through each part of my body, starting with my face, moving down through my shoulders, and so on; instructing each area to release the hold our past has on it.
We sit there for a while, our breaths finding sync with each other as the stars dance among the sky. He wraps his arms around me, and I tilt my head against his shoulder.
It feels easy. Too easy.
I want to revolt, but I also want to fall so very hard.
“I’m going to tell you the rest of what happened. Is that okay with you?” Mikael asks.
I nod.
“The king was overjoyed that there was a physical barrier separating us. He let me out of the cell he’d locked me in, but had loyalists watch my every move.
I went to the Wastelands multiple times, tried to cross it once, even though I knew there was no way you would believe me.
But I was hunted down and dragged back by his men.
The king wanted my loyalty, yet he had to command it from me because I would not give it willingly after he used me.
All those years he was searching for this damn amulet, knowing what it would do. What curse it held.”
Mikael pauses, the back of his fingers brushing against my cheek. The contact against my skin is like a shock, sending jolts through my very essence. From that innocent touch, a fire lights deep in my belly, arousal mixed with long-lingering resentment.
The pull of the past, full of unresolved threads, collides with the promise of a future with a love as potent and all-consuming as what we once shared.
It’s the desire to lean into the spark and savor it, warring with the warning not to fall for the one who broke me. To avoid pain and another betrayal.
More heartbreak.
No. I don’t crave it. I can’t.
I’m terrified of the way the past has molded me. I divert instead to the way I know how to protect myself.
I convince myself the arousal is just because I’m in some need of stress relief.
Yes. That’s all.
It’s not like he’d accept anyway, so soon after he denied me. The glint of starlight on metal pulls me out of my thoughts. Mikael twists the amulet between his fingers before setting it against my chest again.
Mikael places his arm over the blanket, securing my waist once more, and continues.
“When I realized he had done it on purpose, I lost it. Fury blazed through every fiber of my being. I didn’t hesitate, and he never saw it coming.
When his body hit the floor, separated from his head, I left the palace.
I did not linger; my thoughts were consumed with getting to you, and saving you.
I never intended to stay in Eidrfall, even though that was what I desired.
To be near you… with you… I had already accepted that my actions ruined any chance I had.
But I wanted to make sure you would not be taken from this world because of a jealous man. That was not his right.”
“Well, thank you for killing that vile man. If you hadn’t, I would have done it myself had I found out.
” I seethe under the surface, not at Mikael, but at the cruelty of King Ignatus.
At how one man was able to change the trajectory of not only my life, but thousands of others, and cause such devastation to our shared land.
“It was a relief—and long overdue,” Mikael says, his chest rising and falling beneath me as he takes a deep breath.
Movement shifts my attention from the stars to his left forearm. Black swirls gradually appear, undulating across his skin before forming words. I try to pull out of his hold, wanting to inspect the new riddle, but he moves his arm under the blanket and pulls it up, covering my chest.
“We can figure them out tomorrow. Let’s rest tonight.” He kisses the back of my head and holds me tighter.
“But we don’t have a lot of time left,” I protest.
“Enough to refill our wells while the horses rest. Plus, we have the rest of the ride to Varithen to mull them over.”
“Fine.” I want to know what they say; want to figure out where we have to go next and what our next trial will be. We’re halfway there, and the need to complete the task is a heavy weight to carry. But I know he’s right. It’s better to let the horses rest—and ourselves, while we can.
“You know, your sex plan wouldn’t have worked. You were just wanting to use me. Admit it,” he says, his chuckle a rumble against my back.
“Don’t flatter yourself. Convenience is not the same as using.” A wicked smile curls at the corner of my lips as I laugh under my breath.
“I’ll be at your convenience anytime you feel like using me.” He pauses, adjusting his position, then adds, “But only if it’s true desire. I don’t want half of you. I desire all of you.”
“Pesky thing, feelings,” I huff, but sink further into his embrace.
“And yet, these riddles seem to only appear when we allow ourselves to feel them. When we give up something related to ourselves and our past,” Mikael says quietly.
The night presses in around us with the weight of his words. I stare at the stars, considering all that has ever been and all that will come to pass.