13. Crew
T his was my luck. This was just my freaking luck, wasn’t it?
All I wanted was a little recognition, a little praise, and this was what I got? A fake girlfriend who not only regularly ruined my dreams and was an evil wench but also was the one who nearly saw me broken down half an hour before?
“You made a rash decision without even warning me.” I grumbled.
“Yes but to be fair I was telling it to sweet little craig-”
“A man who was way too old to be flirting with you.”
“He wasn’t flirting.”
“He stared at your chest the whole time you talked.”
“You stare at my chest too.” Winnie said it like a cat purring, low and rumbly and my fingers instantly itched to down the AC down.
“I, I don’t. You just, you…” My hand shook as I turned on my indicator, signaling a left turn. I hated how she did this. I hated her meaningless flirting and her smile when she knows it works on me and how she knew I did check her out when I never once should have. I hated that she was a liar. A cheater. A vile, but yes, beautiful woman.
When my cheeks cooled down a little, I turned to shoot a glare at her. “Watch your food carefully tonight.”
Pulling into my mom’s driveway, lined with various vehicles from my siblings and their spouses, my blood pressure spiked. There was a reason I never brought a girl home. A reason why I avoided this kind of thing in general. Bringing someone else here meant attention and not in a good way. It meant loud questions and lack of excuses to get out of them.
The lights inside the house were bright through the open curtains, showcasing glimpses into the dining room with We were looking down the belly of a beast with nothing but a couple tooth picks and some hopeless dreams.
“Here’s the story: we decided to go on a date on a whim, we’re testing the waters, no expectations. We will ‘break up’ in a couple days and I’ll never mention you again-”
“Wow, I am so flattered.” Winnie deadpanned.
“Don’t get attached to my mom, don’t look her in the eye too long either. The quicker we’re in there the quicker we’re out.”
She pulled down the mirror above her, a parking ticket that I kept forgetting to take care of falling out in the process. She tossed it to the side without flinching. “Is this really that big of a deal?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
I sucked in through my teeth, trying to think of how honest I want to get here. Telling all of the truth would leave me bare, raw and laid out on a table for her to dissect and use for leverage later. But then again when I had that…spell or whatever earlier she had yet to bring it up again. She checked my eyes, searching for what- I don’t know, and proceeded to go about her easily disagreeable ways. She hadn’t muttered a word of it since and I had a feeling that we had a mutual understanding of where this game between us ended.
So I spilled almost all of it. “Because I’ve never brought a girl over or even had an actual girlfriend. They think the second coming is happening and need to get their minds straight because Jesus must be appearing on their front door any day now.”
Winnie stared at me for a long moment. And I let her. My lack of relationships didn’t mean a lack of intimacy and I refused to shy away from the fact that I’d never found myself tied to one person like everyone else seemed to be. No one had ever wanted to stick around long enough. In fact, only person who stood by my life long enough- besides my family- was the woman sitting next to me. And it was merely so she could have fun arguing with me than anything.
I watched the moment play out like a movie: Winnies jaw opening and closing, her eyes shifting down to my mouth, lingering there for a while before meeting back up to my eyes. “You’ve…never had a girlfriend before?”
“No. I don’t want to hear what you think about it.” I reached for the keys and turned the car off.
“But…” Her eyebrows pushed together. “You’re such a flirt.”
“I’m not-”
“You are, you had me throwing my number at you within five minutes of meeting you.”
Touching the subject felt like cold air pressing against an exposed nerve. We never mentioned that day, and we never should. A reminder to either of us that the exchange of numbers and what followed after was uncrossed territory, an area I didn’t want to expand on. An area that needed to be burned entirely from my memory.
“That was different.” I was whispering, as if that made a difference. “I’m serious, you really screwed me over here. You owe me, so keep your mouth shut and don’t say a single word about this being fake, they’ll eventually lose interest once one of them brings up babies or successful careers or something more interesting than me, alright?”
“Crew, I mean this in the most genuine way possible.” Her hand landed on my wrist, delicate and sweet, warmth trailing all around the area. “I highly, highly, doubt there is anything more interesting in that house than you.”
On paper, some would read this as a compliment. But knowing the woman mere inches away from me, she meant it as a passive aggressive dig. So I took it as such.
“Was that supposed to be an insult?”
“I’ll let you take it as you will.” She exited the car and her warm vanilla scent lingered behind her.
I knocked twice on the back door and then immediately winced because I never knocked on the door- no one did, you just walked in like we owned the place. To try and reverse it I knocked two more times but then I realized I just did four very awkward and off beat knocks. My fingers reached for the door knob and I creaked the back door open wide, finding all of my family members in the living room and kitchens open area, staring directly at me and the redhead directly passed my shoulder.
Winnie and I both walked in, silent and staring right back shoulder to shoulder now. Somewhere a tumble weed brushes past us and an old western soundtrack plays in the distance. It’s not actually a tumble weed, just my will of giving up floating out into the wind.
My mom was mid hunched over in front of the stove, water almost boiling over. Adam and Rachel are paused on the couch where their legs are tangled up. Luke was holding some kind of Star Wars Lego kit- his wife, Layla, holding the matching pair. A very pregnant Marigold and Liam were sitting on the barstools, both paused in their actions of mid-feeding themselves. Nathan and Calla were next to my dad, all frozen in time.
A beat passed.
“Holy crap, she’s gorgeous.” Calla blurted out in breaking the silence and resulting in everyone going back to what they’re doing.
I looked to Winnie next to me and for the first time in a long time- maybe since the day we met- she blushed everywhere and took a step closer to me.
Yeah she’s beautiful, but so is a cactus and it will still sting the shit out of you if you’re not careful.
My eyes snagged on my mother’s wide glance, raising her brows from me to the woman posing as my girlfriend.
“Uh, this is Winnie.” I tossed a finger towards her and let out a silent pray no one says anything about the elephant in the room. They’d all seen her before, they knew exactly who she was if they pieced any of this together.
Luke squinted behind his glasses. “Hey, isn’t she the one who-”
Layla placed a hand on my brother and directed it to her belly, not quite showing yet. “Oh, Luke, I think the baby wants to go get some pretzels.”
Luke’s back shot up and grabbed his wife, practically lifting her the entire way to the kitchen and holding his arms out as a barrier around her like we would even attempt at stopping them.
“Hi.” Winnie lifted a single hand and waved aimlessly, eyes scattering across the wide span of my family. No one responded back yet, all still staring. Even I was. Her hair looked like fresh, hot strawberry jam resting on a stove that I just want to dip my fingers into, knowing it would burn and still begging for it anyway.
Mom stepped up, wiping her hands on the apron tied around her waist with little embroidered flowers spread across. “Hi, sorry, apparently I raised my children to have no manners.” She cut her eyes to my siblings with a death glare before turning back to Winnie and smiling big and bright. “Please, come in and sit down. I’m sorry the house is a wreck, Crew rarely has guests so I wasn’t prepared.”
Winnie and I both glanced around the immaculate living room, not a single dust bunny or crooked item to be found. ‘A wreck’, my ass.
Winnie smiled at her in way that was so genuine I felt a tinge of guilt. Don’t fall in love with my mom. Don’t even think about it.
Half an hour later my mother had Winnifred wrapped around her perfectly manicured fingers. My family was gathered around the table as we always had, but now an extra chair was pulled up next to my side with a redhead looking at them all with giant heart eyes.
And what was worse was that they looked right back at her with the same fascination. Like we had some kind of rare ethereal creature in this room, something unknown and new and exciting sitting next to the same old Crew. Nathan and Calla were discussing baseball stats and Winnie was hanging on their every word like she cares about sports when I know for a fact she hates them.
I glanced to her through the corner of my eye, trying to catch up on what they saw. Yes, she was gorgeous. It was a fact you couldn’t ignore, not when she was right next to you with full lips and round flushed cheeks and the softest hair I’d ever seen. But behind all of that beauty were secrets and deceit and it seemed to be that I was the only one who picked up on it.
“So, how did you two meet?” My dad asked, his mouth full of a roll it stuffed in there in a single bite.
Winnie’s foot nudged mine under the desk and I nudged her right back.
She answered reluctantly with caution. “We work across from each other, I own the pink food truck next to his.”
A collective ‘Ooohh’ went around the table before they each went back to their forks clinking against plates and stomachs begin pushed full. Nathan pointed a fork between me and the girl kicking my shin.
“I knew he liked her,” he nudged Calla. “Didn’t I say that? I swear I told you guys he secretly-”
“I thought they hated each other?” Dallas, my current least favorite nephew of the two, blurted out and Marigold smacked the back of his head.
Winnie and I both turned bright red under all of their stares and I sensed it in my bones. We can’t pull this off. Not to my family and not to a chamber of commerce and certainly not on competition day.
I was inches away from giving it all up, shouting out ‘gotcha!’ and pretending this was merely one of my many, many pranks on my family when Winnie reached over to my lap and laced our fingers together.
My eyes shot down to make sure I wasn’t dreaming but no, that’s skin on skin and warmth was spreading its way through my entire body and lighting up my chest. I was either so out of touch with relationships that something as simple as holding a girls hand had my heart thumping loudly against my ribs, or Winnie had another one of her spells going on and she was injecting poison through my fingertips.
“Oh, yeah, well you know…” She spoke up, vibrations between our chairs arms traveling up my skin. Her eyes met mine and she gave a wink, maybe for me or maybe for them I wasn’t sure all I knew was her hand was on mine and me really, really didn’t hate it? “I told him I wasn’t interested but he just kept asking and asking. I mean really, it was like every day Winnie just say yes, come on, Winnie girl don’t do me like that. A girl could only say no so many times before carving.”
Winnie girl? When had I ever called her Winnie girl?
I ground down on my molars. “I don’t remember it happening like that.”
“Funny.” Her hand squeezed mine in a death grip. “I do.”
Mom’s throat cleared. “So, have you been going out long?”
I answered the first number that popped in my busy head. “Two weeks.” at the same time Winnie all but shouted “A month.”
Our eyes met, widened in fear and confusion and ‘why the hell would you say a month?’ and ‘well why did you say two weeks?’
We turned back to the table where everyone was looking at us expectantly.
“I mean two weeks…and a month…” Winnie cleared up with the most unsure voice I’d ever heard from her.
My siblings and parents kept their stare on us, nosy and waiting and I really had nothing honest to add to it so I let my mouth take over the competing thoughts in my head. “We ended up signing up for the competition to do it together.”
“Aww!” Calla cooed and clapped her hands together, “Coworkers to lovers”
Winnie’s head tilted, her hand was still locked in mind and I felt like I was sweating a lot suddenly. “What?”
Nathan answered on behalf of my sister. “Don’t mind her, she reads a lot of romance.”
The rest of dinner was basically the Crew and Winnie show, everyone taking their turns to ask us questions from ‘so would you say you liked Revenge of The Sith better than The Phantom Menace’ coming from Luke or ‘Does Crew still talk in his sleep? He used to tell us about his day as soon as his eyes were shut.’ from Liam. Even Adam at one point asked a couple questions and engaged in the conversation.
When our stomachs were full and bloated my mom collected our plates, and turned to the kitchen before glancing at my fake girlfriend over her shoulder. “Winnifred, would you mind helping me, dear?”
Winnie looked from me to my mom to Rachel directly across from her who was smiling and doing a slight head nod. Her eyes came back to me and I widened them hoping she would pick up the signal. Do not. DO NOT have manners and go help my mom. Those two alone were going to be explosive and my mom knew all the right questions to ask to make this whole thing turn over and get absolutely ruined.
My telepathy must have been off because Winnifred’s hand left mine for the first time since we initially grabbed each other and she stood grabbing her glass and following my mom into the kitchen one wall away.
“Hey, what do you guys think about the name Gus for a girl?”
“Is it short for something?”
“Like was? Gusana?”
“No, like August or something.”
“Oh my gosh August is sooo cute, babe, let’s consider August.”
“Heck, at this point let’s consider November. Or what about December. No, she’s not due for a while. What about July? Come here, my little July. And when she turns four we can all have a fourth of July party.”
“I sense your sarcasm and I do not love it-”
“Wrong, you love it.”
Liam and Marigold and eventually all of my siblings started suggesting Calendar months for baby girl names and I was trying desperately to block them all out so I could tell what was happening in that kitchen so close but so, so far away.
Just as I couldn’t take it anymore, I stood and attempted to turn the corner when a hand stuck out and wrapped around my wrist. I looked back to see Liam and Nathan both staring at him. “Dude.” Liam’s eyes widened and pointed in the kitchen like that was supposed to tell me anything.
“What?” I hissed
“You’ve been holding out on us, seriously. You’ll text us updated on your bowel movements but don’t tell us you have a girlfriend?”
Rachel spoke up next. “Isn’t it obvious? That’s why he told Calla he didn’t want to be set up with anyone like months ago. Little Crew is smitten.”
I hated when they called me Little Crew but I could tell Rachel was trying her best to help me cover, considering only three weeks ago we were given the great salt bomb of ‘24 by the red head baker. She winked at me, quick and dismissing and I would have to remember to stop by her record store with an array of carne sada tacos this week.
“But still, why didn’t you say anything?” Liam asked and now the rest of the table was intently listening in. Well, except Dad. He was stealing a roll from Layla’s plate when she wasn’t looking.
I shrugged. “It’s new. And I don’t know if it’s going to be super serious so let’s just calm down.”
Calla waved a hand. “Of course it’s serious, you brought her to dinner.”
“Yeah, because mom practically threatened to knife me if I didn’t. Just-” I lowered my voice. “Just don’t expect her to be around forever.”
“Hmmm…” Layla and Calla made a look to each other, and then to Marigold before they all turned back to eye me.
“What?” I asked on the offense.
“Nothing. Just thinking.”
I rolled my eyes and gave up, turning to the kitchen and praying they all just left it alone. When I cut the corner I saw my mom already had her phone out, swiping right. “Oh and here was his kindergarten graduation, he wanted to be a chef even then. He was obsessed with Hell’s Kitchen but we had to watch it on mute cause he would go to school bossing everyone around.”
Winnie laughed with her head tossed back and lifted a hand to point at the screen. “Wait you have to text me this one too, okay? And the spiderman one.”
My mom was practically giddy, her smile lines tight and eyes squinting at the screen with such pride. Winnies hand fell to my mom’s wrist as she laughed at whatever picture of me popped up next. I wanted to be mad, I really did try but I just…couldn’t make it happen.
Winnie is in my mom’s kitchen in an oversized sweater and tights and at my mom’s height with her smile unashamed and carefree and non-threatening and she looks…so, so pretty. It hurts, honestly. It’s like a window into a life that never could be and yet I wanted it anyway.
I knew she was horrible. A cheater, a liar, and one of the most annoying people I’d ever met in my life and yet I was just leaning against that corner watching her and I can’t find it in myself to hate her. Not like this and not here. Not with that smile and not with her telling my mom how cute I was or that she ‘just knew I had to be a player in high school’ when I was so far from it that my own mother just giggled and shook her head. She had no idea that I was far from a player and much more of a kid trying so hard to blend in that he lost himself entirely.
With the memory popping in and out so quickly I barely had time to register it I cleared my throat and they both looked my way, still smiling.
“We gotta go, Mom,” I dug my keys out of my pocket as if to further prove my point. “Winnie has an early morning.”
“Oh, yes,” Mom wiped her the laughing tears from her eyes and turned to Winnie. “Well, remember you can always text me. Come by anytime. It was a real pleasure meeting you.”
They give quick hugs and Winnie tells everyone bye before we walked back to the car.
“Well, I think that went just great, don’t you?”
I didn’t answer.