Chapter Thirty-Nine
Every mile closer to Clayton House, Gilbert felt his anxiety grow.
Fortunately, Dorothea did not seem to notice, even as he clutched his hands firmly together and hardly spoke.
His mind was filled with questions. How would he confess the truth to his father about his inability to become Frederick’s curate?
How could he possibly excuse his deceit, keeping all this from his family for so long?
He knew that Frederick was already doing well at the two parishes and that a former rector had been filling in while the entire family waited his return to take the curate position.
What would they all say when it became clear he could not step in as everyone expected?
He dreaded the confrontation he knew was coming.
He would disappoint everyone. Worse, he still had no idea what he might do to earn his keep and somewhat redeem himself.
He could not continue to live at Clayton House forever, and his mother’s small annuity was not enough for him to enjoy the kind of life he desired.
If only he had some inkling of what he might be good at, he thought, what direction he might focus his life.
I have been a sorry student and a sorrier son. Am I good for absolutely nothing? I would pray to God for guidance, but I fear our heavenly Father would not even bother with me, so dissolute my behavior has been. Why should He care?
Following their arrival at Clayton House, Dorothea and Gilbert learned that Miles and Lavinia were in Doddington at the summer children’s fair.
Their father greeted them warmly and suggested they go to see their other sister and new nephew at once.
Charlotte was finished with her lying-in period, although she was still not leaving the parsonage very much.
Her siblings walked over and found her in the back drawing room, which they knew was Charlotte’s favorite place, as it looked out upon the small, but well-tended flower garden behind the house.
After the joyous reunion, which, sadly, did not include Frederick, as he had just departed to go to his other parish, baby William was brought in by Becca, who had agreed to extend her duties as lady’s maid to assisting Charlotte with the baby.
“We cannot truly afford a full-time nursery maid,” Charlotte had explained to Dorothea, after Becca left the room.
“Even with the income from the second parish, Frederick and I decided it would be best if we handled most of the care of little William ourselves. You should see how good Frederick is with him.”
Dorothea’s mouth fell open. “No full-time nursery maid? But, dear Charlotte, that is quite… unusual, do you not think? I suppose you will tell me next that you have no plans to send the babe to a wetnurse in Doddington until he is weaned?”
Charlotte smiled. “That is, indeed, our very plan, sister. For why should I deprive myself of this little angel?” She bent over the infant and kissed his forehead.
“After all, it is not as if I am such an important figure in the community that all my hours are occupied by others, as was more the case in your situation. I do not wish to miss a single step in the development of our dear child. And, pray, do not tell me you will happily pay for a nursery maid, as Frederick and I believe we shall manage perfectly well.”
Dorothea could think of no reply. Gilbert studied her and laughed out loud. “You look as if you have swallowed a frog, Dorothea! Indeed, I think Charlotte’s plan is a very good one. As long as Becca proves good enough to care for William.”
Charlotte nodded. “She has, and is quite taken with our boy. He is in excellent hands. Now, enough of me, I wish to know all about your time in town. Tell me all about the balls and assemblies and parties. I do hope you got your fill of enjoyment, Gilbert. Heavens—we thought you would be gone but a week or two, and you stayed nearly to the end of the Season. And, what of you, Dorothea? Did you take much pleasure in spending time with old friends?”
“I did, indeed,” Dorothea said, and proceeded to go on at great length about some of her friends.
She told funny stories and shared gossip and the three siblings laughed and enjoyed themselves for more than an hour.
Then Gilbert and Dorothea departed, so that Charlotte might rest before the family dinner at Clayton House that evening.
As for Gilbert, he was happy that no one had brought up his future as the new curate at the parish, although he knew full well it would not be long before they did.
That evening, Gilbert dressed with care, which included wearing one of the three new waistcoats he had made to order while in London.
He had his father’s valet tie his cravat, instructing him to do it in the most fashionable manner of London gentlemen.
It took three attempts, but, finally, Gilbert was satisfied and went downstairs to dinner looking the very least like a member of the clergy as he could.
Conversation at the dinner was lively and comfortable. Miles and Lavinia seemed in high spirits, sharing stories of the children’s fair, and how well attended it was.
“Little Dickie is far too young to understand much of what he saw, but I do believe he enjoyed the fine weather, do you not agree, Miles?” Lavinia asked.
“Oh, indeed, and many families came up to admire him and greet us,” Miles said. “I do wish you had joined us, Father, for you were asked after by many.”
“Well, I had to remain behind to welcome your sister and brother, Miles. I am, however, exceedingly happy that you were seen together by all—such a public display of family harmony can only be well received by the community.”
Gilbert thought Evan’s tone sounded a bit terse and assumed his statement contained a veiled reference to the incident with the disreputable female Miles had allegedly consorted with.
He saw Lavinia react by lowering her eyes and biting her lower lip.
Then, he saw Miles reach for his wife’s hand, squeeze it, and the two shared a loving gaze.
Well, the issue must be resolved, as Lavinia and Miles seem no different together than when I last saw them. That is good news, at least.
When dinner was complete, Charlotte, Dorothea, and Lavinia left for the drawing room, while Miles, Gilbert, and their father remained behind.
Port wine was poured, and the gentlemen sat more comfortably in silence, enjoying their drinks.
Gilbert nearly had to remind himself to breathe, he was so worried that the subject of his future would arise.
It did not, however, and Gilbert relaxed somewhat as they left the dining room to join the ladies, until his father called him back.
He immediately felt his heart begin to pound in his chest.
“Yes, Father?” he tried to sound as if he had no cares.
“I did not wish to bring up the situation between your brother and the tavern maid while Miles was here, but in the event you were anxious over it, put your mind at ease. I have not heard fully from your brother as to the particulars, but it appears the breach between him and Lavinia has been healed.”
Gilbert heard himself exhale loudly. “That is most excellent news, Father. Excellent, indeed,” he said. He started to walk away, but was called back.
“Tomorrow, you and I shall meet to discuss your next steps. I know that Frederick is most eager to get you started as his curate. And I am no less eager to see you happily settled in your new profession. I certainly look forward to your first sermon.” He clapped his son on the back, and the two moved out of the dining room. “Come to my study at ten o’clock.”
“Thank you, Father,” Gilbert replied in a weak voice. “I shall be there.”