Chapter 12
12
It was almost 5p.m. in Cornwall, but only lunchtime in Florida, and Isla had been expecting to see her mother’s smiling face when the FaceTime call connected. But it was Lexi who answered, looking red-faced and clammy, and she was clearly out of breath as she uttered an unusual greeting.
‘God, what a morning!’
‘Are you okay, Lex? It’s not the babies, is it?’ The anxiety that plagued Isla when it came to the prospect of any of her family being ill, was already clawing at her throat.
‘No, but Mum tripped coming down the stairs and she’s badly broken her ankle. She’s going to be fine, but she’s in surgery now.’
‘Oh my God! What have the doctors said? Are you sure she’s going to be okay?’ Isla’s heart was thudding in her ears, and she suddenly felt a million miles away from where she needed to be.
‘They said once they’ve aligned the break, it should all be straightforward and she should be in and out of surgery within an hour. I was just heading to Walmart to get some ice chips and some other bits for when she comes round. But it’s so hot today, and lugging these two around with me is really starting to get old.’ Lexi was weaving her way between cars in a huge car park, as she spoke.
‘Oh Lex, I should be the one doing that; you’ve got so much on your plate already.’ Relief had flooded through Isla’s veins at the news that her mum’s accident didn’t sound serious, but guilt was stabbing at her all the same. Lexi had texted her a couple of days before to say that Josh had gone to Denver for work and that she was paranoid the babies would come while he was away, even though she still had over two months to go until her due date, but that at least she’d have their mum there if the worst happened. ‘I could get a flight out tomorrow, if I can clear it with work.’
‘No way!’ Lexi fixed her with the big sister look she’d perfected over years of Isla asking to borrow her stuff and often being turned down flat. Lexi had almost always relented in the end, but she knew how to give a firm no when she wanted to. ‘I need you to be able to come out when the babies are here, like we planned, not before. You’ll never be able to come over for three weeks then, if you take time off now too. Even if you could afford two lots of flights. And besides, aren’t you about to start the cycle for your egg collection?’
‘I’m just waiting for the call from the clinic, once the results of the screening tests have been confirmed as all clear. Then we can get started with the medication.’ Ten minutes ago, it had seemed like the most important thing in the world for Isla to get the go-ahead to help Aidan and Jase, but now the pull to be there for her own family was almost overwhelming. ‘But another month or two won’t be the end of the world; they haven’t even been matched with a surrogate yet, so any embryos we manage to make would have to be frozen anyway.’
‘I said no.’ This time Lexi clearly had no intention of backing down, and Isla couldn’t help noticing the definite shift in the accent her sister had developed since moving to Florida. She sounded more American than British now, and the thought made the distance between them feel all the greater, as it so often did lately. Lexi hadn’t switched to calling their mother Mom, just yet though. ‘Mum feels guilty enough about this happening when she wanted to be able to help prepare everything for the twins, but she’ll be devastated if you put the egg donation on hold because of it.’
‘I didn’t think she was that keen on the idea.’
‘She just worries; you know Mum. Ever since Dad died, she’s wanted to protect us from anything bad happening, but she’s really proud of you.’ Lexi furrowed her brow. ‘A couple of days after you told us what you were planning, I found her crying. When I asked her why, she said it was because she knew how thrilled Dad would have been that you were doing this for someone else, because a donor like you had made all their dreams come true. It’s an amazing thing you’re doing, and if you dare let Mum’s ankle get in the way of that, it’ll break her heart. And I need you to make sure Nan and Grandpa Bill get over here after the twins are born. I want all my family together to celebrate. So you promise, right now, that you’ll stay put. Don’t make me break out the Lexi flick.’
Isla laughed at the look on her sister’s face and the mention of Lexi’s signature move, which she’d deployed whenever her little sister had annoyed her just a bit too much. She’d flick the side of Isla’s forehead, in what she’d claimed was an attempt to wake up her brain, because she clearly wasn’t thinking straight. It must have been more than a decade since Lexi had retired that move, and the two sisters had got even closer since their father’s death, but Isla still wasn’t going to risk it. ‘I promise I won’t come over, unless anything changes. Will you call me as soon as Mum is out of surgery? And promise to let me know if you decide you do need me after all.’
‘I promise. But right now, I need to get into my air-conditioned car, and drive to Walmart to stand in the refrigerated section until I don’t feel as if I’m being cooked from the inside out.’ Lexi sighed, as she finally reached her car. ‘I love you and I really am desperate to see you, but if you turn up here before you’ve donated those eggs, there’ll be hell to pay.’
‘Yes, ma’am.’ Isla grinned. ‘I love you too, and that nephew and niece of mine. So make sure you take good care of all three of you, and let me know if you need anything.’
‘I will, I promise, and I’ll call you again as soon as Mum’s awake.’ Lexi blew her a kiss and ended the FaceTime call. She trusted what her sister had said about their mother being okay, and that she was coping for now too. But that wasn’t going to stop Isla letting work know what was going on, and making sure she’d be able to take some emergency leave if anything changed. She knew Aidan and Jase would understand if she had to do that, but for now she’d keep her promise to Lexi and assume things would be going ahead as planned. She was just about to text Esther, when her phone started ringing again. Her heart racing, she looked at the number, terrified it might be Lexi again with unexpected bad news, but it was the fertility clinic.
‘Hello.’
‘Is that Isla?’
‘Speaking.’
‘Hi, it’s Sandy from the Forever Family clinic, I’m ringing about the results of your screening tests.’ There was a note of something that sounded like hesitation in Sandy’s voice, and Isla shivered, despite the sunlight streaming through the window behind her.
‘Are we all good to get started with the treatment?’ Isla was vaguely aware that by saying the words out loud, she was willing them to somehow be true, but Sandy was already sighing.
‘I’m afraid not. One of the blood tests has indicated something that needs further investigation and it’s really important that you see your doctor as soon as possible, so that further tests can be arranged.’
‘Tests for what?’ Goose pimples were prickling on Isla’s arms. Her own health had never been something she thought about much, because she spent so much time worrying about the rest of her family. But Sandy’s response wasn’t the most reassuring.
‘The screening tests have shown up an abnormality with the white cells and platelets in your blood.’
‘Leukaemia?’ Isla almost dropped the phone. It couldn’t be true, she felt fine. Maybe a little bit tired, but in her job that was to be expected. And, yes, she’d lost some weight, but that could be explained from rushing around all day too.
‘Not necessarily, but it’s one of the things that will need investigating. You gave the clinic consent to contact your GP when you underwent the tests, and we’ve already been in touch with your surgery. My understanding is they’ll be calling you about a referral to the hospital for further tests and to meet with a haematologist.’ Sandy’s voice sounded falsely bright, as she carried on. ‘I’m so sorry Isla, and I know this must be really worrying, but try to keep in mind that there could be a lot of potential explanations. Have you got someone there you can talk to, or someone you can be with? It will really help if you have some support while you wait for the next set of results.’
‘I’m going over to my grandparents’ for dinner, so I can talk to them.’ As the words came out of her mouth, Isla crossed the fingers on her left hand. She wasn’t going to tell her grandparents about this. She wasn’t going to tell anyone until she knew what it was they were dealing with.
‘That’s good, but, if you need to, you can always access the counselling service here too. I really hope the further tests show that the initial results are nothing serious.’ Sandy might be hopeful, but she sounded anything but convinced, and Isla suddenly realised she was shaking.
‘Thank you.’ It was all she could manage before she ended the call and, as she turned to put down her phone, she caught sight of herself in the mirror above the mantelpiece. She didn’t look any different than she had a few moments before, and it was still almost impossible to believe that something could be happening inside of her that had the potential to be life-threatening. Almost, but not quite. And even the tiny possibility made Isla go cold.
Aidan had been wanting to have the first beach barbecue of the summer almost since Easter, but he’d finally persuaded Jase that tonight was the night. He’d been on an early shift, and Jase had managed to finish work on time for once. So they were down at the Taylor family beach hut, at the north end of Port Kara beach, just after half past five. The beach hut had been in Jase’s family for over forty years, and he’d recounted numerous tales of the fun he’d had with Tash, and their friends, when they’d been growing up. It was just one more Taylor tradition that Aidan couldn’t wait to follow when he and Jase finally had a child of their own. He’d been driving himself mad over the last couple of weeks, jumping every time the phone rang, in the hope that the clinic had found them a potential surrogate, so going down to the beach and just enjoying some time with his husband, was a desperately needed break from it all.
It had been a tough time since the trip to Ireland. Jase had been stunned by their sudden departure, but he hadn’t questioned it when Aidan had insisted they needed to leave straight away. Later on, they’d talked about what had happened, and Jase had held him, when he’d eventually cried the tears he’d been determined not to shed in front of his father. His mother and sisters had all been in touch, begging him to come back for another visit soon, and promising him it would be different next time. He’d told them again that they were welcome to come to Port Kara, but he wouldn’t be going ‘home’ any more. It had been years since Ballaghaderreen had felt that way. The revelation that had hit him, that home was wherever Jase was, hadn’t changed. And Aidan now had the kind of unconditional support and love his husband had been lucky enough to grow up with. He’d never find that in a place where Sean Kennedy’s opinions seemed to overshadow everything else. He’d never allow their child to be exposed to that either. And if the rest of his family wanted a relationship with Aidan, it had to be on his terms.
‘Do you think four sausages each is too much?’ Aidan turned to look at Jase, who was taking a bottle of wine out of the cool box.
‘Given that we’re having king prawns and chicken too, I’d have to say probably.’
‘Yeah, but all this talk of trying for a baby seems to have convinced my body that I need to eat for two!’
‘I thought we’d agreed not to mention the B word tonight.’
‘We did, but—’ Aidan’s response was cut off as his phone started to ring and, when he looked at the display, he realised it was the call they’d been waiting for. ‘Oh my God, it’s Forever Family.’
‘Don’t build your hopes up, until you know what it’s about.’ Jase reached out and touched Aidan’s arm, but it was obvious from the look on his face that he was excited about what this might mean too. Either way, Aidan couldn’t wait another second to find out.
‘Hello, Aidan Kennedy speaking.’
‘Oh, hi Aidan, it’s Fraser, one of the matching coordinators from the clinic. I work with Annabel, who you spoke with before.’
‘Hi Fraser, how are you?’ He was itching to just blurt out : have you found someone? But he was trying to follow Jase’s advice and keep some of the hope damped down, so that it didn’t crush him if it wasn’t the news they’d been praying for.
‘I’m fine, thank you, and I hope you guys are going to be even better than that, when I tell you I think we’ve found you a match.’
After that, most of what Fraser said was a blur and thank God he’d told Aidan that he’d follow everything up in an email, with guidance on how to proceed in setting up a meeting with their potential surrogate, whose name was Ellen. As soon as the call was over, he and Jase were both whooping and hugging, and neither of them had been able to hold back the tears.
‘I can’t believe it’s true, can you?’ Aidan was shaking his head as he spoke, and Jase was laughing and crying at the same time.
‘No, I can’t. I think I spent so long trying not to get too excited and convincing myself that it could take ages if it ever did happen, that I almost stopped believing it would.’
‘Me too.’ Aidan suddenly stopped and put a hand on the side of his husband’s face. ‘But you would tell me if you had any doubts, wouldn’t you? It’s not too late to stop this, if it isn’t 100 per cent what you want.’
‘I’ve never wanted anything more, apart from marrying you.’ Jase put his hand over Aidan’s. ‘What about you?’
‘I can’t wait to see what you’ll be like as a dad.’ The smile that had spread over his face felt as though it reached right down inside him. ‘And to have a mini you running around the place.’
‘I’ve been thinking about that, and which one of us should donate the sperm.’
‘We agreed. It’s got to be you.’ Aidan swallowed hard. ‘If the trip to my family didn’t prove that a genetic connection is no guarantee of a close relationship, then I don’t know what does. I’ll love this baby like it’s my own, because it will be, and I’ll love it even more because it’s a part of you.’
‘That’s exactly how I feel, though, and we’ve already got Reuben, who I’ve got a feeling is going to be no slouch when it comes to passing on the Taylor genes. The baby is going to be loved so much by my family, and there’ll be a link there that nothing can break. I know what it’s like to have that kind of bond to people you share a biological connection with, and I want you to have that experience too. Not to mention that the idea of us having a kid that’s even a tiny bit like you fills my heart up. That’s why it’s got to be you.’ Jase held Aidan’s gaze for a moment and then smiled. ‘At least with the first baby, we’ll talk about the second one, when the times comes.’
‘Are you sure?’ Aidan was blinking back tears again, as Jase nodded, pulling him into his arms. He’d have been fully on board with Jase being the biological father, but in that moment he realised his husband might be right; maybe this was something he needed to experience to come full circle with his past. And one thing it proved for certain, was that his husband loved him more than he’d dared to believe anyone ever would.
‘I’m 100 per cent sure, and I’m just as certain that everything’s going to work out okay. I know we haven’t even met the surrogate yet, but it’s my turn to have the feeling that nothing is going to stand in our way.’ Jase sounded so confident that Aidan couldn’t envisage any other outcome either. There’d been times along the way when he’d had to fake it until they made it, with his belief that it would happen. He’d wanted Jase to see his confidence, and for that to give them both the hope they needed. But finding a woman who wanted to be their surrogate had been a huge hurdle he hadn’t ever really been sure they’d overcome. Surely nothing could stop them now.