Chapter 6
N athan swallowed as his gaze slid down my face.
The pale green light of the swamp forest danced like a sparkle in his eyes, which had turned jet black. I felt the damp night air on me like a cool coat, but it was Nathan’s gaze that made me tremble. No man had ever looked at me like that.
He rose and stood completely still as if he was no longer able to do anything else but look at me.
The struggle for self-control marked his features.
His eyes flickered and his lips were hard and thin as if he was not allowed to give in to his desire, as if it was something forbidden that he was denying himself.
I reached out my hands to him invitingly, partly because I felt I needed to hold on to him. What was between us was like a blue fire burning in the darkness, new and exciting.
He came closer, so close that he almost touched me.
“Willa.” I felt his breath on my lips and a sweet shiver ran through my body.
He hesitated for a moment and then carefully ran his index finger over my face as if something dark was threatening him, lurking in the darkness that he would have to hide from at any second.
Suddenly, I was afraid he would pull away again.
“I want you,” I heard myself whisper, not knowing where I found the courage.
Maybe because we cremated Sparta today or maybe because life was too short and too precious to postpone feelings.
I took the hand he had used to touch me and placed it on my breast. His fingers were cool and rough, a hot-cold glow against my heated skin.
He squeezed gently and a longing sound emerged from my throat.
My heart was pounding faster and faster.
I was dazed by the desire to feel him. Reflexively, without being able to do anything else, I wrapped my arms around his neck.
This time, I kissed him. I stifled his resistance with my tongue, and when my teeth brushed his lips, he gasped.
Perhaps it was the sound of his own voice that startled him.
He pulled abruptly away and took a step back. “I only sleep with whores, you know that,” he said quietly but firmly.
It was like a slap in the face. For a few seconds, I stood there completely dumbfounded.
“Then pay me,” I whispered back, half mockingly, half hurt when I found my words again.
“So, how much do you charge per night? Maybe I can’t afford it?” It was pure provocation and he was driving me crazy with it.
“You brought me here. You said you didn’t want to go back to the others yet,” I said.
His rejection tightened my throat, but by God, I wasn’t going to start crying.
Instead, I bent down and wordlessly unlaced my boots.
I took them off as well as the socks, which I stuffed into my shoes.
Then I grabbed the boots with trembling hands.
“If you’re done with me, I’ll just go back.
Don’t fret, you don’t have to worry about me.
I’ll find my way through water, swamp, and land. ”
Obviously, I was taking a risk. Naturally, it was a lie. Barefoot and with my head held high, I walked away, goose bumps spreading across my arms and legs. I prayed that no coral snakes were lurking in the bushes.
I felt Nathan’s piercing gaze on my back. “Will! Get back here now!” he shouted. “And put on the damn shoes!”
I didn’t answer and stubbornly continued onward.
“Damn it, Willa! If you don’t come back now…”
I heard his stormy footfalls in the night and the darkness suddenly seemed full of danger and temptation.
He caught up with me quickly, grabbed me around the thighs, and threw me over his shoulder.
“I’m not finished with you yet,” he said, his voice hot and ominous but still making me tingle.
He marched back to the hut, carried me inside, and set me down in the middle of the wooden floor.
“Not by a long shot.” He looked at me from above, but I couldn’t see much.
The faint moonlight fell through the open shack door, breaking across his backside.
His face was in darkness, and when he effortlessly took off his shirt, I felt my pulse pounding in the pit of my throat.
His body was a work of art. Broad shoulders, firm muscles, and smooth skin.
He was beautiful. I couldn’t put it any other way.
Dark, strong, and beautiful in a melancholy way.
His shoulders shimmered in the blackness illuminated by the moonlight as did his entire silhouette. As if he had a radiant aura.
He took off his boots and jeans, and then sank over me so that his body forced me onto my back.
I felt the cool wood on my skin. I was shocked by his intensity, but at the same time, I felt a giggle in my chest. He still seemed angry, maybe at himself, maybe at me.
He took my wrists, pressed them to the floor next to my head, and kissed me so passionately and wildly that all thoughts were silenced.
His taste clouded me and his kisses robbed me of my senses.
He should never stop, but as I thought that, he pulled back and looked at me without letting go of my wrists.
“I have wanted you from the moment you first stood before me on the Agamemnon,” he said roughly. “And it worsened every day. The more I felt that you were not the spoiled princess…that you were merely a girl who wanted to do everything right, who wanted to please everyone, who wanted to be loved…”
It was the tenderness in his words and perhaps the truth in them that would have brought me to my knees if I hadn’t already given in to him. I swallowed and looked at him. A deep desire flickered in his eyes, so deep that the intensity left me breathless.
“I’ve wanted you since that day at Rosewood Manor,” I whispered. “And that has never changed.”
He smiled in his fleeting way, and when he lowered his head and I felt his tongue against my throat, I trembled.
It was as if a hundred sparks were dancing across my skin.
I gasped and he grabbed me tighter, kissed my neck and collarbone before wrapping his lips around my nipple and sucking on it.
Suddenly, there was a violent throbbing in my abdomen, the feeling of heat and melting.
I wanted to feel him all over my bare skin and deep inside me.
The next moment, my hands were free and he pulled my underwear off my legs.
Instinctively, I reached into his hair, loosened the ponytail, and grabbed it as he took off his shorts.
He gasped, maybe I had grabbed too hard, but then he was on top of me.
Naked and sweaty. I could feel him, everything about him, including his excitement.
I didn’t know how long we touched each other, kissed each other, our bodies twisted and intoxicated with each other.
It was as if our desire made the air crackle and spark.
At some point, the touches no longer seemed to be enough, nothing seemed to be enough; it was impossible to be apart any longer.
“Will,” he whispered hoarsely and I felt his hot breath against my face. “This is madness. Completely crazy. You and me—it will never work.”
“Why not?” I whispered back.
“Because we are who we are.”
“And that’s exactly what I don’t care about.”
He kissed my forehead. “Your first time?”
I nodded.
“Are you scared?”
I opened my legs for him. “No.” That wasn’t a lie.
I wasn’t scared. I felt the cool, smooth wood on my back and bottom and Nathan’s heat above me.
I was drunk on him and my desire, and for the first time, I was myself, unprotected and naked, far away from my father’s billions in a strange world.
It was as if I could truly feel myself and what I wanted for the first time.
When he entered me, at first I only felt pain, unbelievable all-encompassing pain that tore me apart inside. I gasped for air, my muscles tensing.
Nathan paused. “Relax, Will. It won’t hurt so much. Or should I stop?”
“No.” I stifled a pathetic gasp. “Keep going!” I breathed in slowly and put my hands on Nathan’s shoulders. He moved deeper until he finally filled me completely and I felt him completely. I dug my nails into his skin. It was pain and happiness at the same time. I could have cried for both.
“Willa?” Nathan waited, not moving, but his pupils had never been bigger or blacker than they were now. His hands were beside my head, propping him up so I didn’t have to bear his full weight. “Tell me when you’re ready.”
To my surprise, the burning did subside, not completely, but it became bearable.
I pulled Nathan down to kiss him and he understood.
He moved carefully, and through the pain, I was overcome by a deep feeling of trust. Despite his anger at the world, my father, and perhaps me, he would never intentionally hurt me.
I closed my eyes and felt his slow thrusts, which gradually grew harder and deeper.
I grabbed his soft hair and let it slide through my fingers.
Suddenly, there was not only pain between my legs, but also a gentle, pulling heat.
A sweet premonition of something wonderful I had never shared with anyone before.
At the same time, I was just happy to be so close to Nathan, to feel his desire for me all over my burning skin.