Chapter 16 #2
Dad looks lost for a moment. “The perpetrator was caught.”
Mom shakes her head. “You’re afraid it’ll happen again. Powerful men like you have lots of enemies. That’s why you want to lock Willa and me up. If it were up to you, we’d only stay in the house.”
“At least you’ll be safe there.”
“You can’t lock us away from the world for the rest of our lives!
You’ve definitely gone too far with the medication.
” Mom is furious, even her cinnamon-colored braids seem to be electrified.
I’ve never seen her this way. And she seems much more alive and not as weak and battered as usual.
Just weeks ago, I thought even a smile would take all her energy.
I want to crawl back and pretend I just came from the bathroom when I hear Mom say, “When we get to the mainland, I’ll go. I’m taking Willa with me and you won’t stop me.”
Silence.
I stay in my hiding place. At some point, Dad speaks.
“Ivy-Rose…be reasonable. If you don’t want to lose Willa, you have to stay with me. No court in the world will give you custody. Dr. Moore will certify that you are mentally unstable.”
I want to jump up and tell them to get along, that I love them, and that we can work everything out because we’re family, but Mom says,
“No court in the world will ever give you custody if it finds out what you did.”
Dad laughs. “You’ll have to prove it first. Besides, I know every single judge in this city personally.”
Mom takes a deep breath. “That won’t do you any good this time.”
“You think so, right?”
“You’re not her father, Nicholas.”
The words spin around me and I feel dizzy. Dad isn’t my dad? Now Mom is lying! What she’s saying can’t possibly be true. Dad is right. She’s really sick and needs to take her pills again. I still don’t dare come out of my hiding place, but I don’t crawl back either.
I peek over the seat again. Dad is deathly pale. His lips are a single thin line, but it’s his eyes that give me goose bumps. “What are you saying?” He’s as shocked as I am.
“I want to go ashore. Now!” Mom demands.
My dad still says nothing. He doesn’t scream, he doesn’t rave, he just says in a strained voice, “Okay. We’re going back. But first, we’ll eat together. One last time. I’ll cook.”
Dad cooks? He’s never cooked before. Maybe that means something. Maybe he has a plan to change Mom’s mind so she will come to her senses. I’m sure everything will become clear over dinner. Maybe he’ll put those pills in her so she can go back to normal.
I look at Mom. She stares at Dad. “I’m not hungry…” After a while, she asks, “Has Willa spoken to you?”
My heart skips a beat. Oh, Dad, please don’t betray me!
Dad remains silent for a long time and looks around the open living area as if he knows I am there. “Her bunny has a rip where you put the pills in. The pills fell out.” He doesn’t say anything else.
I breathe a sigh of relief, then crawl back on all fours and pretend I’ve just come from the bathroom. When I enter the living area again, I hear Dad ask,
“Who is it? Your old friend Pierre?”
Mom doesn’t say anything, which seems to be answer enough for Dad.
“And that’s definite?”
“I had the test done anonymously online with a provider. I just needed hair from everyone involved.”
I don’t understand that. Not a word. Dad obviously doesn’t either because he doesn’t say anything else.
He’s standing in the open kitchen of the Voyageur II and fiddling with the cupboards.
I see Mom disappear through the door onto the sun deck and Dad watches her.
Then he takes four pans and pours a huge amount of oil into them.
Much more oil than any of our cooks have ever used, but Dad can’t cook.
I run to him and hug him. “That’s too much oil,” I tell him before I let go.
Dad smiles strangely. “Why don’t you go outside? We’re about to eat.”
“Dad…” I shift from one foot to the other. “Mom…she’ll be okay, right?” I don’t want to tell him that I’ve been eavesdropping.
Dad pats my head. “Oh, yes, love, I’m sure.”
“I don’t want to go away.”
“I know, darling. You don’t have to. I promise.” Dad kisses the top of my head. “Now let’s go out to your mom.”
I do what he says, but I can’t look at Mom outside.
What she said hurts. You can’t lie like that.
Not even when you’re arguing. I sit down on my lounge chair, which is more of a recliner and take a few sips of orange juice from a champagne flute.
Mom watches me, peers inside, and then back at me.
She does this for a while and finally comes over and sits next to me.
She is silent for a long time before she starts talking. “Nevaeh… Your dad knows we want to leave. He found out.”
I feel a little like a traitor, but my anger is stronger. “I don’t want to leave. You want to leave!” I say.
“Honey, I think…” Mom stops and her eyes widen.
Something about her look suddenly scares me. “What’s wrong, Mom?”
“It…it’s burning!” she stammers as if stunned, but then she jumps up. “Nic? Nicholas? Oh my God, it’s burning!”
I turn and that’s when I see it. Dark smoke is pushing out of the door to the living area like a sinister figure.
“Dad!” I start to scream. “Daddy?” Trying to get to him, I run toward the dark smoke and notice the faint taste of ash in my mouth. Mom grabs my arm. “Don’t go inside!”
I smell burnt plastic. Scorching heat settles on my skin and then Dad comes out of the door. Oh, thank God nothing happened to him! He coughs and presses his wet shirtsleeve to his mouth and nose.
“Up!” he calls out and grabs my hand, pulling me up the steps to the upper sun deck.
Mom follows me and screams the whole time.
“Where are the life jackets? Where is the fire extinguisher?” Again and again.
In a panic, she runs to the outside control station and presses a few buttons.
“There’s no connection! Nic, there’s no connection!
” She runs back down to look for the fire extinguisher and life jackets but comes back because everything is on fire.
“We have to jump!” I hear Dad shout as I cling to his arm while he fiddles with a satellite phone.
“I can’t swim! And neither can Willa!” Mom starts crying and pulls me away from Dad. “You did this on purpose!” she screams. “You did this on purpose!”
Now I’m crying too. Suddenly, I’m terribly afraid. Scared to death. I don’t want to jump into the water. I’ll sink like a stone! I cry and cry and hear Dad screaming.
“Give her to me! Give her to me!”
Mom takes several steps back, clinging to me as if she was already drowning. As if I was her last hope. “No,” I hear her shout through the dark smoke. It’s everywhere and my eyes start to sting.
“Dad!” I scream, reaching out to him. “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!”
“Give her to me!” Dad screams. “Give her to me before the tanks explode!”
Mom stands there stiff as a board. Then there is a huge bang beneath us.
It is like the tremor inside me and everything shakes.
Mom and I are thrown against the steering wheel, bounce back, and land on the floor.
The next moment, Mom throws herself over me to protect me.
There is a terrible creaking in the belly of the yacht as if the hull was breaking apart.
“Give her to me! Please, Ivy-Rose!”
Mom clings to me and won’t let go even when I start kicking and screaming. It’s as if she has superhuman strength.
“Mom! Let me go to Dad! I want to go to Dad!” Black smoke is everywhere. My lungs hurt. “Mom!”
At that moment, the yacht is rocked again by a loud bang. The deck rips open as if it was melting beneath us. Mom jumps to her feet. “Oh God!” With me in her arms, she staggers to the railing.
Dad stretches out his arms to me. “I’ll save you both, Ivy-Rose. I can do it,” he calls over the roar of the fire.
A gigantic flame shoots up from somewhere. Mom stares at Dad with her fear-filled eyes and then pushes me into his arms.
“Jump!” Dad yells—and Mom jumps.
I scream like crazy. I don’t want to go into the water, which now looks dark and rough. The waves are much too high, but we have to get to Mom. She thrashes in the water, desperately flailing her arms to avoid drowning. Dad has to help her.
“Nicholas!” she screams at the top of her lungs, her dress billowing in the water like a balloon. “Jump!”
Dad steps forward and looks down. “I’ll take good care of her! I promise!” he calls down.
Mom goes under but comes back up again because she’s paddling so frantically with her arms. Her hair is sticking to her head and her eyes are full of sheer panic. “Nic!” she screams. “Please!”
I want Dad to finally jump and help her, but he just stands there, looking down and holding me tightly.
“Mommy!” She’s so scared. Sobbing, I stretch out my arms to her, but Dad suddenly turns and runs with me to the other side of the yacht.
There he jumps off.
My heart is pounding so hard that I’m afraid my chest will explode.
Dad is abandoning Mom! He is letting her drown!
Even as the fear of the water overwhelms me, I hear her calling out faintly, like a call from the bottom of the deep ocean. Nicholas. Nicholas. Nicholas.
Maybe I’m merely imagining it. Dad is swimming away with me, far away from the yacht.
I cry the whole time, swallowing tears and water. This is my fault. If I hadn’t betrayed Mom, we would never have come out here.
“She would have taken us down with her,” I hear Dad say over and over, but I don’t understand what he means.
It’s my fault. The words circle inside me like a whirlpool that pulls me down, further and further down to a place of oblivion.