12. Resignation
Colette
Maude was waiting for me in my room when I returned from the trial.
“How did you do?” She asked, wringing her hands in her apron.
I shook my head, but my smile never wavered. “I failed again.”
She frowned and studied my expression. “And you are happy with this?”
I strode across my room and took her hands in mine. “I have something to tell you …”
And I told her everything. The dance with the stranger, my every interaction with Julian, and the growing affection I could no longer deny. After I had explained my heart’s most inner desires she pulled me to my feet and towards the bathing chamber.
“You must tell him how you feel as soon as I finish getting you ready.”
“And you’re not mad at me?”
Maude’s hair gleamed like the rain-soaked cedar trees as she shook her head. “You cannot help who you love, my child.”
With my dinner dress on and my hair down, I felt like a new person. My steps came quick and my chest felt light. The hallways were empty and the only light was coming from flickering candelabras hung along the wall.
There was an all-encompassing peace that seeped from this place and into my bones, like sinking into a comforting couch and settling in with a good book. I realized I was beginning to love this place and my steps faltered.
There was something familiar here. I glanced around at the artwork on the walls, and to the thick runner beneath my feet.
Nothing obvious stood out. But I felt the same here that I had walking the halls of my home.
How strange … the passage of time, in a blink of an eye, and everything feels changed.
Nothing drastic has happened, no victories, or monumental milestones that I could account for—and yet—I am changed.
As sudden as the sensation appears, it vanishes, and I’m left feeling as if I have transformed into a new me, and yet no outward appearance of myself has changed. Just a quiet secret I carry.
When I finally reached the dining room I found it empty. A servant scuttled past me with a tray of barely eaten food. She was in too much of a hurry and I didn’t want to bother her, but when another walked in with empty hands, I cleared my throat.
“Excuse me … did I miss dinner?”
The poor girl looked startled, her riot of curls springing as she flinched. The color of her hair was the richest, darkest violet, like twilight, and a smattering of freckles across her nose resembled a starry sky.
“Y-yes,” she stuttered out, wringing her hands in her ruffled apron. “But I-I c-can set you u-up on the p-patio with the Governor?”
The exact person I longed to see.
“I would love that.”
She scuttled out just as quickly as she appeared and then returned a few moments later with an oak tray leaden with plates, silverware, and crystal glasses.
“F-follow me,” she stuttered out and disappeared through the double glass doors in the dining room.
Julian was sprawled in a lounge chair, one long muscular leg stretched out, the other bent, as he read by the light of the torch beside his lounger.
“I’m not interrupting, am I?”
He looked up quickly at my voice, a genuine smile stretching across his face. There was a clatter of plates being set on the table behind me and the swish of the servant’s dress as she sped away.
“Not at all. Did you miss dinner?” he asked, snapping his book shut.
“I did,” I replied.
“How fortunate for me,” he said, as he pulled my chair out, his smile stretched broadly across his face, crinkling the corner of his eyes in a way I had grown to admire.
The young girl swept back onto the terrace, a silver decanter in her hand, and she began pouring our wine as Julian took his seat.
“Do you often dine alone?” I asked, not understanding why he was out here so late.
“I prefer to keep to myself. It makes the candidates nervous when I’m around.”
My nose scrunched most impolitely.
“You don’t agree?” he asked, reaching for his wine, before pausing for my answer.
“Not at all,” I grinned, reaching for my glass as well. “I’ve never once felt anything but comfort in your presence.”
Julian raised his glass, and I followed to suit.
My smile had my cheeks hurting, and I couldn’t remember the last time I had smiled so broadly so frequently before … it had to have been at Alric’s expense, I’m sure.
The wine was delicious and I had not one, but two sips before setting it back down.
“What were you reading?” I asked, eyeing the book he had laid next to him on the wooden tabletop.
“Uh, it’s a romance.”
My head tilted to the side on its own accord. “Interesting … why?”
“Research purposes.”
I ran a fingertip over the crystal, making the glass sing. “And what have you learned?”
“That timing is everything.”
I smirked. “Very wise, my lord. And have you passed along your findings to Prince August?”
Julian sipped his wine and I couldn’t help but study his mannerisms. I had no idea his position outside of being a governor but he must’ve been high ranking, his manners were impeccable, regal even.
“I have. Does that worry you?”
“No,” I bit back a smile, “In fact, there is a matter I would like to discuss with you.”
Julian tilted his head to the side as he gazed at me.
“What matter is that?”
“I believe I would like to—”
Before I could finish, a servant appeared with an envelope on a silver tray.
“My Lord,” the servant muttered, bowing low and displaying the letter. Julian retrieved it from the tray and began reading it at once. He chuckled and nodded to the servant.
“Is—is everything alright?” I asked.
“More than alright. Princess Zuri has also withdrawn her candidacy.” He smiled a genuine smile. “It appears Prince Leo finally got a grip on his true feelings.”
I giggled excitedly and covered my mouth. “He did?”
Julian pursed his lips. “They are engaged to be married.”
I was elated from Zuri’s happiness as was evident by the smile that would not leave my face.
“You are happy for her?”
“Of course, from the moment I met her she told me of her longstanding affections for Prince Leo.”
Julian sipped from his wine. “Very well then.”
The silence stretched between us but it wasn’t uncomfortable; it felt like the swelling of the tide.
“What would you like to discuss?” He tilted his head and the torchlight gleamed golden on his tanned skin. He was so beautiful. His lips twitched with a smirk.
I shook my head. “I do not remember, the magic of this place has confounded me once again.”
Julian snorted. “There’s a lot more to this place that would warrant such a high opinion, like the lake, and old willow, now that’s magical.”
“How so?”
Julian grinned and his eyes twinkled like starlight.
“The willow might be the oldest tree in our kingdom, and when the wind blows through its long sweeping branches it sounds as if it’s singing.
” I gasped, but he continued. “On a clear night, the moonlight reflects upon the lake’s surface and the light dances to the willow’s song. ”
It did sound magical, and I found myself longing to see it. “Is it within walking distance?”
“It is. Would you want to go?”
This time I chuckled. “Of course I do. You can’t tell me there is a magical place nearby and not expect me to want to see it.”
His grin was contagious, a twin to it now lighting up my face. “How about a stroll after dinner, and I can show you?”
“I would love that,” I replied.
Two servants appeared with trays and began dishing the food onto our plates. Mixed green salad, a lemony smelling fish, and tiny golden potatoes. It smelled savory, and yet light. We ate contentedly in silence for a while, until most of our plates were nearly empty.
“Is the food here always this pleasant?” I asked, hiding my mouth behind my hand as I finished swallowing.
“Yes,” Julian agreed. “It’s even better in the fall when the desserts are all sprinkled with cinnamon and brown sugar.”
“That sounds divine. I wonder what kind of food they serve at the palace in Wimberley …”
“It’s much the same,” Julian replied. “The King and Queen have their staples that make an appearance weekly. Theodora prefers savory and Odo prefers sweet. But it’s just a rotation of their favorites.”
He spoke so intimately about the king and queen, using their given names, I felt my eyes widen and jaw drop.
Julian froze with his fork suspended in midair. “I’m quite close to them, you see.”
My lips quirked to the side and I covered my mouth to contain my laughter. “I would hope so, given how causally you just spoke of our majesties.”
Julian rolled his eyes. “They’re not quite so stuffy in private. It was a slip of the tongue. They wouldn’t see me punished should anyone overhear us.”
“I would hope not,” I agreed. “You’re my only friend here now that Zuri is gone—besides Maude.”
Julian choked out a laugh before clearing his throat with a sip of wine. “And how is Maude? Is she treating you well?”
“She is the most wonderful lady,” I breathed, placing a hand to my chest.
Julian lifted his napkin and dabbed at his face. “She is. Would you like to take that walk now?”
I pushed away from the table and hopped up. “I would love to.”
Julian offered me his arm and led me off the patio, our steps in sync, and the nearness of his body kept the evening chill off mine.
“In the summer, there are thousands of tiny white flowers that bloom in this field,” he gestured to the open land to the right of us. “The pixies harvest their petals for their houses and wares, but they only pick them at twilight so their wings sparkle like tiny little stars.”
I sighed dreamily and imagined how ethereal a sight that would be.
“I couldn’t imagine what growing up here must have been like,” I said, looking up at him. His profile was highlighted by the moonlight and I had to admit he cut quite a dashing figure. The scars were just barely visible on his other cheek but made him appear roguish in nature.
“What was Silver Hills like?”
I smiled, thinking of my wild and unusual upbringing. “It was chaos,” I laughed, “we were raised right alongside the other kids so I’m sure I only know half of what the other princesses do about being royal.”
“What do you mean?”
“Instead of languages, I was learning about plants and animals in our territory. Instead of dances, I was learning what kind of fabrics are easiest to repair for ripped trousers. It was more practical of a childhood and less … superfluous.”
“It sounds useful,” Julian replied, a small grin to his lips.
“I’m not sure how well it will suit me in the future though,” I sighed.
“What else did you like to do in your free time?” Julian asked, pulling me close to avoid a wayward branch.
The feel of his body against mine sent shivers down my spine, and the hem of my dress snagged on something, yanking us to a stop.
“Oh goodness,” I cried, trying to untangle myself.
“Allow me,” Julian crouched and began untangling my dress from a tree root. His deft fingers worked quickly to free me and I couldn’t help but marvel at him.
“Thank you,” I replied once he had finished and looked up at me. I held the hem of my gown with my free hand to keep it from happening again.
“Let me ensure you are uninjured …” he muttered, and lightly ran his fingertips from the top of my ankle to the bottom of my calf.
His touch had warmth pooling low in my belly and shallow breaths slipping from my parted lips.
He rose in one steady motion, his eyes never leaving mine.
I couldn’t tell if it was the light or if his feelings suddenly mirrored mine but they appeared darkened.
When he leaned ever so slightly in my direction, his lids now leadened, and lips parting, I turned quickly.
“Besides judging competitions, what do you like to do?” I asked, realizing I didn’t know much about him, and desperately trying to break the thrall I was tangling up in.
“I like building things, and traveling.”
“What sorts of things do you build?” I asked, intrigued.
“Buildings.”
“Goodness! What an overwhelming hobby,” I teased.
His grin was mischievous as he shot me a wink. “You could say that. The problem is getting the free time to do it.”
“The King and Queen keep you busy?”
“Very,” he sighed. “But it’s rewarding work.”
I nodded, understanding that completely. “It must be an honor. Your parents must be very proud of you.”
Julian cleared his throat as he nodded. “They are.”
“Do you have any siblings?”
I wanted to know everything about him.
“None. I’m an only child.”
I made a slight noise of displeasure. “How dreadful …”
“What about you? You have a brother, yes?”
I laughed out loud and he stared at me. “You could say that. Alric is, well— a menace.”
Julian shook his head. “I can admit. I have heard the stories. But you’re a bit of a mystery.”
I grinned. “That’s by design.”
“Is it?”
“It’s not that I keep out of the spotlight, I do find myself there from time to time, but I’m not as wayward as my brother. I embrace my duties—excel at them—if I’m not being too forward. There’s a lot of good I can do and I strive to.”
“Spoken like a queen,” he said under his breath.
I almost didn’t hear him, but the wonder that sparkled in his eyes had my cheeks blazing with color once more.
“We’re almost there,” he gestured to a gap in the trees and I could just make out the sparkling of moonlight on the water.