Chapter 50
Payson
It’s late in the evening and we are sitting on the porch, Duke quietly between us on the steps watching the tree line go dark as the sun fades away.
We talked over dinner about the casino and how he is now the acting CEO, has been the whole time.
Griffith only handles anything that requires him to be present.
He tells me he’s always been behind everything and maintained his distance because that was the deal he made with Vivian.
I listen to him tell me all of it and don’t say anything as he does.
“So she thought if you disappeared I’d be easier to manage,” I say finally.
“I suppose.”
“And you let her think that.” He looks down not saying anything as he beats himself up for it. “Did it work?”
He chuckles. “For awhile. She underestimated some things.”
“Like what?”
“Like disappearing and being gone aren’t the same thing.” I pick up my glass of bourbon and hold it with both hands.
“What did you help Jay find out about my mother?” I ask.
He’s quiet for a second before he turns to me.
“Not as much as either of us wanted. The last thing he confirmed was that she was alive. He never stopped looking for her. I want you to know that. He searched for years.” My mother is alive.
Or was. I sit with that fresh on my conscience and make the decision to put it on a shelf somewhere to deal with later.
There are too many things more important and I would rather keep that door closed until I’m ready to open it.
The evenings on the porch become the place where we sit and have some real conversations.
Something about sitting in the dark makes the hard things easier to handle.
He tells me more about Vivian and the deal they made and the way she has been watching Jarrell for years.
He tells me how she had people watching him and reporting back to her, and he did what he needed to keep her from finding out the truth. “She’s not stupid,” he says.
“No,” I agree. “You can’t be stupid and be evil.”
“Which means going back can’t be impulsive.”
I look at him. “I didn’t say anything about going back,” I tell him.
“I’m thinking about it.” He doesn’t say anything, just reaches over and picks up his glass and takes a sip and I realize again that I’ve started noticing all the right things he does and I’m not as angry with him now as I have been.
“Who did she have watching you?” He pauses, taking another sip with a sigh before answering.
“That’s a conversation for later,” he says.
I turn my head and look at him then look back out into the dark woods and decide to trust the order he’s putting things in because so far he’s only told me the right amount of information each time we talk.
I don’t have the energy to fight every piece of information as it arrives.
“Okay,” I say.
The next morning when I wake he is already on the porch and I stand in the doorway in nothing but an oversized shirt and socks and watch him through the glass.
He’s leaning on the rail, shirtless, with his coffee in hand, watching Duke run around on the grass.
The morning light hits his skin, highlighting every single line of muscle on his sculpted torso.
I lick the drool from my lips as I rake my eyes up and down his body for far too long and think about how I woke up without him the last six years and how that used to feel like I’d barely survive the day and now it feels almost normal.
I push through the door and he turns around, eyeing me then grunts as he turns back around.
“Payson…I can only take so much,” he grunts.
“Would you prefer I walk around naked instead?”
He runs a hand down his face sighing again before letting out a long breath. “It’s going to rain,” he says, looking toward the sky. I look up at the sky, the gray clouds hovering angrily above us. “When?”
“Afternoon probably.” I lean on the rail beside him, looking at Duke roll around on the grass before my eyes make their way to his muscular frame.
“I don’t hate you,” I say, my eyes finally finding his. “I thought you should know that.” His eyes search mine, relief running through them. “I’m not there yet, but the more I see you like this, the more I’m starting to.”
He pulls me into him gently, kissing my head and letting his hand settle low on my back just above my ass. “Thank you,” he says finally, and in this moment everything is right.