Chapter 54
Ledgar
We sit in her favorite spot on the porch, sitting close enough to each other that I can smell the sweet honey scent of her shampoo, but we have just enough space between us for Duke to settle.
Her hands are wrapped around her morning coffee, sipping it slowly, careful not to burn her mouth.
She hasn’t said very much since she asked me to stay with her while she reads the contents of what is inside.
When I handed it to her, she just stared at her name, not reaching to open it and reveal what’s beneath.
I understand why and sometimes you just need someone else to rip the Band-Aid off for you.
Not because she can’t, but because she needs me to, even if she can’t come to terms with that yet.
I slide my thumb under the seal and remove the single piece of paper inside, and begin reading it to her.
Payson,
If you’re reading this then I’ve already done the one thing I swore I never would. I left you.
There isn’t an excuse in the world for that and I won’t try to give you one.
You deserve the truth. The man who raised you, well, he is your father.
I thought I was protecting you from everything that came with being a Reith.
I was wrong. You were too young to understand and I am so sorry I failed you.
Please believe this, even if you never forgive me…
I did not leave you because you weren’t enough.
I left because I was afraid I wasn’t. YOU were my everything and I know you are his too. Take care my sweet girl.
I love you,
Mom
I fold the letter carefully and slide it back into the envelope and set it beside me.
When I look at her, tears are gathered in her eyes but she hasn’t let them fall.
I sit there quietly watching her, waiting for her to break.
I know she isn’t going to hold it in this time, not after the way she was scared I left.
I pull her to me as I watch her start to slowly come apart.
Watching what twenty-eight years of carrying the weight of feeling like she never belonged to working her ass off to become who she is today.
Before I can fully wrap my arms around her, she’s on top of me, straddling me with her hands around my neck and kissing me with everything she has left.
My hands caress her body and I pull her in closer, holding her tightly where she can’t run this time.
She breaks our kiss, pulling back just enough to breathe.
Her eyes are wet, and I can hear the sob trying to break free as she speaks.
“I don’t know what to think,” she says. “I don’t want to hurt anymore.
” She looks at me with a desire that’s deeper than the longing I know we both feel.
“I love you. I have always loved you, more than the air I breathe. I never stopped.” I look at her for a moment, my heart exploding from years of waiting to hear those three words.
“I need you, Ledgar. Right here, right now. Please.” She doesn’t have to ask me twice before I pull her back into me and I don’t hesitate.
All restraint is gone as I grab the back of her neck and kiss her as deeply as I can, my tongue tangling with hers.
Duke removes himself from beside us and the small clatter of his feet disappear around the house.
This is everything we’ve been holding back since that day.
Every charged touch, every almost kiss. Six years of missing her and not being able to do show her how much I love her.
Her body rocks against mine causing the hem of my T-shirt she’s wearing to ride up exposing her ass.
I palm both of her ass cheeks in my hands squeezing as I guide her on me harder.
She grabs my shirt ripping it off over my head with a fiery need to have me and lifts just enough to undo my zipper and free my hard aching cock.
She licks her lips at the sight of it before standing up.
She removes her underwear quickly followed by the shirt and straddles me again, lining up my cock to her soaking entrance and sinking all the way to the hilt in a hard motion.
She curses as her head falls back, and I pause any movements for a split second to let her adjust before I ravish her.
“Make me come, Ledgar. Please, I need you.” Her words drive a fire in me I try so carefully to contain with her in fear of breaking her.
I’ve always fucked hard and rough, but with her I don’t want quick and hard.
I want to take my time. But for now, I give her what she wants and thrust into her with a longing I’ve been desperate to fill.
He hips move to meet my thrusts, coming down hard on me as I thrust. She moans my name loudly and her pace picks up as she claws me closer to her, pressing her body hard against mine as she rides my cock like a whore.
My whore. She clenches and squeezes around me.
“Oh God,” she moans, and my balls grow tight as I fuck her as hard as I can how I am.
“Fuck, Payson,” I grunt out as we both combust together.
Her breathing is heavy against my neck and I kiss the spot just below her ear making her shiver.
My hand is moving slowly up and down her spine as she stays seated on my cock.
She kisses a spot on my chest, before laying her head in the crook of my neck to catch her breath.
“Come on,” I say finally, kissing the top of her head.
“I’m not done with you.” She laughs as I hold her tightly to me and pick us up off the porch and carry her to the shower.
I brace her against the cool tile, enlisting a sharp hiss from her when her back meets it.
I turn the nozzle on high to the jets and follow with the one to the rain head.
I step us inside, placing her just above the jets where it hits her ass with the perfect amount of pressure and move to the rhythm of it.
She moans, clinging to me, her nails digging into my shoulders.
It doesn’t take her long before she comes apart again all over my cock.
She whimpers as I move her out of the water and gently brace her against the tile.
I grab her shampoo from the shelf and wash her hair taking my time with it, working through her long blonde curls.
She leans back into my hands and starts to grind her hips against me.
“Are you impatient for my cock again, beautiful?” She whimpers, not saying anything.
I grab her chin and force her to look at me. “Words, remember. Or I stop.”
“I want you,” she whimpers on a moan.
“I’m yours, Payson. Forever,” I say and fuck her again, filling the shower with nothing but the sound of her moans and my balls slapping against her as I make her see stars and I come alongside her once more.
When my legs start to tremble I shift us to sit on the bench, and she reaches up and grabs my soap and washes my hair.
Her fingers work through my hair slow and steady, and I stiffen at the way she cares for me.
I’ve never been taken care of like this, and my heart pounds harder in my chest. We take our time showering and fucking until the water is like ice and our bodies are trembling with exhaustion.
We quickly dry off and I hike her up again, loving the way she wraps her legs around me so naturally.
I lay her down on the bed, kissing every square inch of her murderously slow before I slide in behind her, pulling her taut against me where she belongs.
The light through the curtains moves the way it does every morning causing me to stir.
She is lying with her cheek flat against my chest, my hand in her hair, and her fingers tracing patterns over my stomach.
“I need to go back,” she says hesitantly like she’s scared to speak those words.
I knew it was coming. I’ve been dreading it, hoping that she wouldn’t want to.
She sits up throwing her leg over me and straddling me the way she’s done multiple times in the last couple of hours.
I run my hands along her smooth legs settling at the top of her thighs as she speaks again.
“I need to go back and take what’s mine.
She has had it long enough. It’s mine and I’m taking it back.
” She leans down, kissing me once before pulling back. “Come with me.”
Something moves through me that is quiet and certain and has been waiting a long time for this exact moment.
For her to be ready and look at me the way she is now, those three words on her tongue ready to be used.
I think about Jarrell’s email and those five words that were at the very bottom.
Don’t let them take it. A promise I made way back when and have been keeping it in the shadows since.
“There it is,” I say, grinning slightly.
“Is that a yes?”
I bring my hand up and brush the hair back from her face, sitting up to kiss her deeply, tangling my tongue with her and listening to those sweet moans escape her lips. I pull her down flush against me, her cheek resting against my chest. “As I told you before, Payson, I’m not leaving you again.”