Chapter 14
Gus
When Seb told me he soon wouldn’t be able to bear my touch, I don’t think I fully understood what it meant.
Although he’d assured me it had nothing to do with me, I still felt rejected.
It was impossible not to crave his touch and the feel of his body against mine when we’d been as close as two people could be.
And it wasn’t just physically. No, it had been in spirit, too, like we were one being, sharing one body and one mind.
And now he was gone, off to do important royal business somewhere, and I was left to myself, now that I had performed my duties.
Although Seb had told me he didn’t know if he was pregnant yet, I had a feeling that he was carrying my child.
I didn’t think two people could be such a perfect match in every way without it resulting in a baby.
It just wasn’t possible. I think Seb knew it too, but it was, of course, too early for him to announce it.
As I entered the stables, the smell of horses and fresh hay wafted toward me, and I instantly felt at home.
While I hadn’t thought about Hal even once during Seb’s heat, the smell of country and animals reminded me of the farm and of him.
How was he? Did he miss me, or had he made new friends?
What would happen once I returned to the farm?
Would things just go back to the way they were?
Somehow, I didn’t think they could. Meeting Seb and falling in love with him—because I truly had fallen for him—wasn’t something I could just leave behind and then move forward as if nothing had happened.
I would never be able to forget him, and although I didn’t know if Seb was pregnant yet, I knew deep in my heart that I would also love this child. I already did.
“Have you been relieved of your alpha duties?” A jovial voice sounded behind me, and when I turned, I found Adrian walking toward me with Maiden trailing after him on a rope.
“I guess I have,” I shrugged, and my heart clenched with sadness. “The heat is over.” I might as well have said my life was over because that was how it felt.
“Ah, yes, I see. So your presence is no longer required nor wanted.” He offered me a small smile, then nodded toward a bucket of water to my right. “Hand me that, will you?”
Reaching for the bucket, I handed it to Adrian, who held it before Maiden’s muzzle. She eagerly dipped her face into the bucket and gulped down the water, her tail swinging from side to side.
“He won’t be able to bear my touch,” I mumbled, my eyes not leaving the foal.
“I know. But that’s just a few days, then he’ll want you again.”
My gaze snapped to Adrian at his forward speech. “What do you mean?”
Adrian sighed like he didn’t know what to do with me. When the bucket was empty, he pulled it away from the foal’s muzzle. “There’s a good girl, Maiden.” He patted her neck, then grinned at me. “It’s inevitable.”
“I… I don’t know what that means.” I slumped my shoulders. Damn, even in the company of this simple stable boy, I felt dumb, daft.
“It means it can’t be helped. I know what the laws say, what history tells us. That alphas and omegas are better apart, that it’s safer for everyone.” He leaned in and lowered his voice. “But it’s not true.”
I gasped at his forbidden words, then looked around the stables. We were alone aside from the horses in their boxes, happily chewing on their hay.
“Alphas are dangerous.” The words left a sour taste in my mouth. I wasn’t sure I believed them any longer.
“Are we? Are you?” He narrowed his eyes, and I shrank under his scrutinizing gaze.
“I… I…”
“Does the king fear you?”
“I don’t know. I don’t… I don’t think so.
” It was true. Seb had felt at ease in my company.
He laughed with me and smiled at me. He’d slept soundly next to me, cuddled up against my side like he was a natural extension of me.
He’d let me bathe him and take care of him.
Not once had he seemed to fear me, though.
“Of course he doesn’t. He’s the king. He holds all the power. The magic.” Adrian raised a brow at me, and it felt like he was challenging me. “Right?” Right. Seb was the king, although when we were together, he just felt like a man. We felt… almost equal.
“Although…” Adrian smiled knowingly.
“What?” I leaned in closer, hanging on his every word.
“There’s a secret… community, if you like.” Adrian smiled wistfully. “Alpha and omega couples who meet in secret, in the shadows, when no one notices. Omega fathers who allow their alpha mates to be a part of their children’s lives.”
Mates. Secrets. The words flowed through me, and I didn’t believe my own ears. How did Adrian know this? Did Seb know that this went on in his kingdom?
“Here? At the Palace?” I looked around.
“Here, yes, but not just here. Everywhere in the kingdom. Omegas who have been bred and fallen in love with their alphas. Families torn apart by tradition and prejudice. Families who refuse to be kept apart. Couples who wait.”
“Wait?” My head was starting to hurt, and I missed Seb more and more the longer we were separated. My body ached for him, for his touch. “What do they wait for?”
A spark appeared in Adrian’s eyes. Defiance and passion. “They wait for the day when they can live and love openly and freely. They wait for that day—and it will come. Gus, it will come. If not in our lifetime, then in the next. It can’t be stopped.”
I swallowed. “What can’t?” But I thought I already knew the answer, because I felt it when I was with Seb. I felt it so strongly with every fiber of my being.
“Instinct. Nature. The balance of nature overrules any manmade law. You can’t have an alpha without an omega.
Or vice versa. You can’t have life without love.
It’s not possible.” I knew he was right, and still I didn’t dare hope.
A life with Seb. With our child. Children, perhaps.
A life where we were free to live together and love each other without fear.
I squeezed my eyes tight and inhaled deeply. With my eyes still closed, I asked, “Do you know anyone? Anyone in this secret community?”
“Yes.”
“Who?” I needed to know. Everything.
And then he told me, and the more he spoke, the more the longing grew inside me. I wanted that day to come. I wanted it in my lifetime and not in the next. I wanted it so badly I could taste it.
After hours spent in the stables with Adrian, I knew what I had to do. I had to show Seb that I could be there for him and our baby. That I could have a place in his life, in his heart.
Hal used to laugh at me because no matter what the occasion, I’d carve something, which was what I was doing right now.
At first, I thought about carving a heart for Seb to show him he owned mine, but that seemed a little silly.
It was hard to think of something when he was the king, and he had everything he needed.
But then it occurred to me. What if I could gift Seb something to remind him of me when I was gone?
Something that would remind him daily that I loved him?
So, I decided to make a crib for the baby.
I’d never made such a large thing out of wood before, mostly sticking to carving figurines, but once I got going, my fingers started working on their own accord.
I’d chosen a light sort of wood because I thought that would be beautiful for a children’s room.
The wood would glow when the sun shone through the curtains on a spring day.
I made bars on one side, which the baby could look through, but tall enough that he wouldn’t be able to fall out or pull himself over the side.
On the headboard, I engraved flowers, butterflies, and bees into the wood.
Perhaps I could ask Adrian if there was paint somewhere so I could add bright and happy colors to the patterns.
When it got dark outside, and my stomach rumbled, I was still working on the crib. It was like an inner urge, almost like a bird preparing a nest for its young. I needed to finish it. I needed to show Seb what our baby meant to me. What Seb meant to me.
Once I was happy with the result, I placed it in the corner of the woodshed, and found an old linen cloth, which I then covered the crib with. Hopefully, the crib would be safe here. Perhaps I could ask Adrian to keep an eye on it for me.
My stomach growled at me again after having been deprived of food for so long.
Stretching my aching body, I closed the door to the shed behind me and started walking in the direction of the palace.
I wondered if Seb had eaten yet, or if he was still working.
Parts of me wanted to have dinner with him and tell him about my day.
Listen to him telling me about his day, too.
Another part of me found it unbearable to be close to him without being able to touch him and hold him.
My chest squeezed, and I felt more lonely than I ever had before.
Then Adrian’s words echoed through me, and newfound hope sparked in me.
‘Then he’ll want you again. It’s inevitable.
’ The idea of Seb wanting me again, seeking out my touch, lifted my spirits, and I increased my pace.
It would just be a matter of days, surely.
Then, Seb and I could be together again.