Chapter 8
R yan stood and waited for the women to join the guards. Now that the battle was over, and he had the chance to process everything, the pain became prevalent. The battle had not been too arduous, but he had suffered a few nicks and cuts here and there. He could feel blood oozing out of one arm, forming a warm trickle that ran down to his wrist. He would have the healer look at him when he returned. It was easy enough to ignore for the moment, but he was still aware that the pain was present.
The women looked disheveled. They had all been attacked in various ways. Tara looked as though she had gotten the worst of it. A bruise shadowed her cheek, and there were dark marks down her arm where she had been dragged away in a strong grip. Caroline and Nessa looked more shocked than anything, but Nessa had some bruising from her fight, and Caroline favored her right leg as she walked with a slight limp.
After the storm of the conflict, the night had settled into silence once again. A gentle wind drifted through the trees. Nearby, an owl hooted, perhaps notifying the other creatures of the forest that it was safe to emerge again. The scary humans were retreating.
The guards had watchful eyes on the surrounding paths, just in case any other bandits presented themselves, or if predators caught the scent of blood and came sniffing along to see if they could take advantage of the situation.
To Ryan’s surprise, he was filled with a sense of wanting to protect Caroline after having seen her at the mercy of bandits. He kept glancing towards her, feeling bad that she walked with a limp. He sidled up to her. He noticed how each of the women tensed when he got closer. They were treating him like a bandit too.
He didn’t want them to see him as a monster, but if they did, then it was only because their father had made him into a monster. Whatever he was, it was a direct result of the Gilmour Clan. If they recoiled in horror at him, then it was their own fault.
“Ye can see the healer when we return,” he suggested.
“That will nae be necessary. I can take care of my sisters,” Caroline said briskly.
“I will deem what is necessary.”
“It’s really nae needed. I would nae want tae put yer healer tae any trouble.”
“I am trying tae dae ye a kindness.” There was a hint of disbelief creeping into Ryan’s words. He was trying to help them, but she was throwing it back in his face.
“If ye want tae dae us a kindness, then ye can release us.”
Ryan’s eyes narrowed and he exhaled a hard breath. He wasn’t even going to respond to that comment. Caroline knew it was impossible, especially because she had promised herself to him.
“I thought ye would be a wee bit more grateful considering I just saved ye from certain death, or perhaps even a worse fate. Ye should hae known better than tae come out here at night. I warned ye that this place was dangerous. Ye need my protection.”
Caroline did flinch at this and looked towards her sisters. Ryan caught a glimpse of guilt in her eyes. She couldn’t have enjoyed the fact that they had been placed in danger because of her.
“It seems ye need ours as well. Ye would be dead if it was nae for Caroline,” Nessa said in a spiteful tone.
She glared at Caroline and her face was twisted in a mask of hatred. Ryan realized that he had been fortunate. If things had been slightly different, then he might well have been run through with Nessa’s sword.
“And I am glad ye did. I see ye are already performing yer wifely duties,” Ryan smirked, enjoying the shocked look that came upon Caroline’s face.
If she was going to be ungrateful, then he was going to have his fun irritating her. Caroline’s cheeks turned red, and she averted her gaze. Tara and Nessa’s eyes widened with shock. Ryan believed he had said enough for now and sauntered away, leaving them to each other.
He clasped his hands together and then stretched out his arm, trying to ease the pain away. He looked up to the stars, and for a few moments, he was taken away by wistful thoughts. He imagined his father and brother looking down upon him. Were they proud of him for the plan he was about to enact?
He wished there was a way to communicate with them, even if it was just a vague sense of their emotional well-being. But the stars and the souls among them were distant, far beyond reach. The night was a mysterious veil, and it held its secrets closely. Ryan would just have to hope that his actions brought them some solace.
The Keep rose in the darkness. Within the castle a few fires had been lit, and this light emerged from the windows, illuminating the hard stone. The doors groaned open as they approached. From the stables, Ryan heard the horses whinny. He paused for a moment and stared defiantly at Caroline.
“Take them tae the healer,” he said, his words meant for the guards.
He wanted to make Caroline see that he was in charge here. She was not in a position to give orders, nor to defy him. He was the Laird, she was still his prisoner. He wanted to force this habit upon her because it would be the same for the rest of her life. She would be his wife, but she would not hold any influence over the clan. He wouldn’t let Gilmour blood poison his clan like that.
Caroline pursed her lips and her eyes flashed wide at him. She remained silent, however, as the guards encircled the three sisters and guided them through the castle. Ryan chuckled to himself as they disappeared from view. It was important that they were put in their place. After tonight, he believed they wouldn’t try to escape again because they must realize by now how futile it was.
Ryan ordered a servant to bring him some cloth and a change of clothes. He returned to his study, where he lit a candle. Wispy smoke rose from the wick and the fire crackled. Pale light suffused the room, and the scent of melting wax was thick in the air. The servant did not tarry, and brought what Ryan had asked for.
Ryan peeled off his shirt, revealing a scarred torso that had been hardened by battle. He wrapped the cloth tightly around the wound on his arm, wincing a little as he did so. The cloth quickly became stained crimson, but the flow of blood had been stemmed. He used the shirt he had just doffed to wipe away the trickling shadows that ran down his arm, and then tossed the shirt towards the servant. He nodded and backed out of the room. All the servants knew that Ryan preferred to be alone.
Ryan pulled the new shirt over his head. It was crisp and clean. He ran his hands through his hair and stretched his muscles, resuming the earlier matters of the night. He poured wine into a glass and then relaxed in his chair. He took a deep draft of wine, feeling the liquid swim over his tongue and roll down his throat. The taste was rich and hearty, and it quenched the thirst that had risen in battle. He smacked his lips together, catching the remnants of wine that lingered upon them, and he became deep in thought. He stared into space, his mind turning back to that moment when Caroline had saved him.
Why?
The question caused a dull ache in his mind. He could not fathom what had caused her to do such a thing. She could have been free, as she wanted. She could have struck a blow against one of her clan’s enemies, a quite mortal blow as well, for without Ryan what would have become of the Knox Clan?
He ruled everything with such an iron fist that everything depended on him. He had an interest in every aspect of the clan and had never quite mastered the art of delegation, so if he fell, then everything would crumble with him. Ryan had been aware of this problem for a number of years, yet had not found a suitable way to address the conundrum. Nobody had proven themselves worthy of succeeding him, and he wasn’t entirely sure how to groom an heir anyway.
The more he reflected on it, the more he realized how close he had come to dooming his clan. In this way, he was not unlike Caroline. It was a sobering thought and once again reminded him how precarious life could be.
There were some areas in which he wished he had received a better education, such as courting. Love and marriage had never been much of a consideration for him because Alec, his brother, was the natural heir and the one who needed to marry. Alec had always been a little envious of Ryan for the freedom he enjoyed. At the time, Ryan had not appreciated it fully.
Only now, when he was constrained by his duty, did he understand the nuances of ruling. It was a privileged position indeed, and he was honored to be respected and have such authority over his clan, but it took its toll. It took pieces of his soul, and he wasn’t sure there was any way to get them back. He couldn’t simply leave whenever he wanted because he was the bedrock upon which the clan was founded.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, interrupting him from his thoughts. He scowled, thinking it to be a servant who had forgotten how much he valued his solitude.
“What?” he barked gruffly.
The door creaked open. Standing there was Caroline, absent of her shawl. Her dress flowed down her body. It still bore the marks of her daring escape, smudged and stained. Somehow, this only added to her allure. The light touched her pale skin. It glinted in her eyes. As she entered the room, she seemed to glide more than walk.
Ryan wasn’t sure he had ever seen anyone more graceful. While he was sitting, and she was standing, their heights were reversed, and he was forced to look up to her. Again she puzzled him.
“Are ye here tae ask for yer release once again? Because ye know I cannae allow it,” Ryan snarled.
Caroline took a moment. She tilted her head to the side and clasped her hands in front of her stomach.
“Actually nae. I came tae thank ye for helping us. Ye remained true tae yer word and even though I am nae entirely happy about the situation, I believe in good manner sae… Thank ye,” she punctuated her words with a small smile.
Ryan leaned forward a little and stared at her, confused by the expression. He drank in every detail of her lips.
Then, he raised a finger and wagged it in the air. “I know what ye are thinking. Ye believe that I owe ye for saving my life, and that tae pay the debt I will release ye. But we made a deal, Caroline, and ye cannae step away from it,” he said this with some measure of satisfaction as he believed that he had revealed her plan. Caroline opened her palms and dipped her head.
“I understand. And I dinnae come here with such nefarious intentions. If we are tae be married, then we are gaeing tae hae tae learn tae be civil, I suppose. My sisters would hae died taenight if ye hae nae been there. They mean more tae me than anything, and sae I thank ye for saving them from harm.”
Ryan inhaled deeply and stroked his chin. Were her words sincere, or was this some kind of strange game she was playing?
“Why did ye save me?” he asked, striking a direct thrust.
Caroline moved further into the room, closer to the candle. She stared at the flame as she answered. Her fingers rested upon the table, and they inched towards the candle. For a moment, he believed she was going to touch the flame, but she stopped just short.
“Because it was the right thing tae dae. Life is priceless. I could nae stand by and see someone stabbed sae cruelly.”
Ryan frowned. This answer wasn’t what he had been expecting. He didn’t believe that people could be so pure. Surely, she wanted to get something out of this?
“Even if I cannae grant yer freedom, I should still repay ye for saving my life. I am nae sae hard-hearted tae deny ye a reward.”
“I seek nae reward.” Caroline turned to him and shook her head once. “I believe that good deeds should be performed for their own sake, nae with the intention of being rewarded.”
Ryan stared at her as though she were speaking a different language. This certainly wasn’t the kind of behavior he had expected from a Gilmour. He had his own code of honor as well; one that dictated he should not be in debt to anyone. Perhaps this was her way of trying to manipulate the situation so that she had this to hold over him. He wasn’t going to let it be so. He opened a small drawer of his desk.
“I cannae allow the matter tae gae unresolved. I am gaeing tae reward ye, and ye can either accept the gift or deny it, but either way the reward hae still be given,” he announced.
Caroline’s lips parted, and he assumed she was going to make a protest against the reward again, but before a word could be uttered by her lips, she saw what he was rewarding her with. It was her clan’s emblem.
He placed it before her and despite hating what it represented, he couldn’t help but be moved by the way she reacted. She held it as gently as a wounded bird, and tears glistened in her eyes. Without saying anything, she inclined her head in thanks.
“My honor would nae allow me tae let this gae without rewarding ye.”
“And my honor would nae allow me tae ask for a reward. But thank ye all the same,” she offered.
Ryan pursed his lips and nodded. “I expect ye tae remain honorable when we are married.”
Caroline’s demeanor changed at this. She tensed, and her hands returned to her abdomen, as though she was trying to protect herself from an ill fate.
“I am always honorable, and whatever vows I take, I take seriously.” She paused for a moment to consider her words. “But there is something ye should understand. I am nae a fool, and I shall nae be treated as one. I will be honorable as long as ye are honorable in return. In other words, ye should stay on my good side.”
Ryan laughed openly, the sound breaking free like a shot. Caroline glared at him, for she had not intended her words to be humorous. However, before she could speak, her expression turned to one of concern.
“What’s that?” she asked, pointing to his sleeve.
Ryan looked down and extended his arm. A crimson shadow bloomed over his crisp shirt. He rolled his sleeve up and noticed that blood had trickled out. He cursed under his breath and ripped the cloth away, revealing the gash in his skin.
“It seems as though it’s ye who should hae seen the healer,” Caroline taunted.
Ryan glared at her, although he appreciated that it was a timely remark.
“I dinnae need tae gae tae that bother. It’s just a wee scratch.”
“It’s more than that,” Caroline huffed.
She tore off a piece of her dress and then searched a cabinet for some clear alcohol. She held the cloth to the bottle and soaked it, before approaching Ryan. Without asking, she pressed the cloth to his wound. It stung, and Ryan gasped.
“Dae ye like causing me pain?” he said through gritted teeth.
“This will help. I told ye that I could hae taken care of my sisters. I know a wee something about the art of healing,” Caroline replied.
She pressed the cloth to his arm with a surprising amount of force. Her fingers brushed the hard flesh of his bicep, while strands of hair touched his shoulder. The scent of her enveloped him. It was sweet and cloying. He never imagined anything could have been more intoxicating than wine. Her touch was tender and as he stared at her face he was tempted to reach out and touch it. She was soft, beautiful, and all the things that he had been missing from his life.
Without thinking, his hand rose and he cupped her cheek. Caroline stiffened at the sensation, but she did not back away. She did not attempt to flee. Her hand did fall away from the cloth, though, and now her entire hand was pressed against his shoulder. Their eyes met, and it was as though a bolt of lightning struck clean through him.
“Why are ye being kind tae me? Ye should hate me. Ye should hae let me die. Ye could hae been free of all this.”
He searched her gaze for answers. Her ruby lips were slightly parted, but they offered nothing. In that suspended moment, it was just he and Caroline and the silence. A thought struck him; he could have gazed into her eyes for hours, perhaps even days, without tiring. He liked the feeling of touching her skin, and the more he inhaled her scent, the more he seemed to lose his mind.