Chapter 20
August 31—Vanna’s Fortieth Birthday
Don’t feed what you don’t want to grow.
Vanna sat on the side of her bed, holding the card in her hand. She had read it four times now, from the moment she’d taken it out of the box on her dresser until she’d walked back across the room to take a seat. The feeling that she needed to sit with those words, especially today, was overwhelming. It seemed as if she’d come to the edge of a cliff and some tough decisions needed to be made before she took another step. And surrounding those tough decisions was a vicious combination of negative thoughts that had been prickling against every positive affirmation or motivational quote she’d read this month.
Counterproductive. That’s how she felt she’d been moving. Like for every two steps forward, she would take three steps back. And while most of that was due to events that had taken place in her life, she knew it was her reaction that she was responsible for.
Whatever Caleb was and whatever he’d done in the last year of his life ultimately had nothing to do with her. They were his decisions, his actions. Now, it was a fact that she’d been caught in those decisions and actions, but she didn’t have to act defeated because of that. Just as throughout the marriage she hadn’t needed to be the victim. At any point during that time, and what she’d actually finally done five years ago, she could’ve decided to remove herself from the situation. To believe in herself more than she wanted to create the illusion of a happy union.
As for the charges that were—as of yesterday—still pending against her, she had to put that in God’s hands. When Jovani called her just before she’d left her office Friday afternoon, she’d been expecting to hear that the motion he’d filed had been successful and that she no longer had a criminal case dangling over her head. She’d thought that would be the perfect birthday present. But that wasn’t what he’d said. A hearing on the motion was scheduled for Tuesday morning, which meant the resolution was further delayed. Still, she had decided to believe that all things would work out for her good.
And this morning, her fortieth-birthday morning, she’d felt like that was even more true. It was a combination of the beautiful sunrise she’d witnessed when she’d first climbed out of bed at six thirty and the I Love Lucy theme music that had been playing when she turned the television on because she’d apparently forgotten to turn off the DVD player when she fell asleep last night. Thankfully, her TV had auto-power off, or that would’ve played all night.
There’d been a definite pep in her step as she headed into the bathroom to take a shower and then came out to select her card of the day. Now she read those words again: Don’t feed what you don’t want to grow.
It was more than fitting, she thought just as her phone buzzed from the nightstand. She set the card down on the bed beside her and reached for the phone.
Aden: Happy 40th birthday, beautiful.
The smile that covered her face was probably brighter than the sunshine slicing through the open blinds in her bedroom. Her fingers moved quickly to type out a reply:
Vanna: Thank you!
They’d been back to texting every day since the Bingo and Brunch last Saturday, settling into an informal rotation of him doing the Good morning text one day, and her following up on the next. Daily check-ins throughout the day of funny memes, inspiring words, or random questions were now the norm. And in the evening, they’d settled into talking on the phone an hour or so, or putting each other to bed, as Aden had called it. That part had reminded Vanna of her teenage years of sneaking to stay on the phone all night with some boy. Only now, the boy was a full-grown, fine-as-hell, successful and mature man who seemed to like her a lot. Despite her moods and all the baggage she still carried.
Jamaica: Happy birthday V!! My bestie!!
Vanna grinned at the next text to come through.
Vanna: Thanks boo!
Ronni: Yay! You’re up. Didn’t want to wake you, but happy birthday!
You ready to turn up tonight?
Vanna: You know it! Granny scheduled our mani/pedis for ten this morning,
but I’m about to get dressed now and go find me some breakfast.
Jamaica: You and your addiction to breakfast. LOL Be ready at five.
Vanna: Again, you know it!
Ronni and Jamaica had rented a party bus for just the three of them to travel to the party. It would be the culmination of their special time with Vanna before the big celebration. She loved them so much for sticking with her through everything and for knowing exactly what she would like to kick off tonight’s festivities. They would already be on the bus when it arrived at her house at five; then they would head directly to the venue for a mini–photo shoot before the party started. Vanna was especially looking forward to that because the only photos she had of them together were the ones they used their phones to capture. This was going to be a phenomenal way to memorialize this moment of two of the most important people in her life enjoying this day with her for all time.
Aden: I pray today will be everything you hoped and more.
This man and his buttery words. Could she be filled with more happiness than she was at this very moment? That was it—this feeling, this smile on her face, this energy to get started with her day, this joy was exactly what the words on that card meant. This was the feeling she wanted to grow, this was what she needed to feed, right here.
Vanna: I think it will. Thank you for getting it off to a great start.
Granny called up the stairs then, announcing that breakfast was ready. She’d thought she smelled bacon while she was texting but had chalked it up to wishful thinking since she’d mentioned breakfast in her text. But Granny’s words were confirmation, and Vanna wasn’t wasting another second. She pulled on her robe and pushed her feet into her slippers. Replaced the card in the box and went back to the nightstand to grab her phone and slip it into the pocket of her robe. Then she opened the door to find Frito standing there with an expectant look on his face.
“Were you sent up here to get me?” she asked as she stared down into his oddly cute face.
His response was one of those ridiculous growl-mumbles that she wished she could really decipher instead of guessing what they meant. “Did you just wish me a happy birthday?” She smiled down at him this time and could’ve sworn his panting response was him smiling right back.
Vanna followed him down the stairs like she needed an escort and walked into the kitchen to see all her breakfast favorites: french toast, bacon, cheesy scrambled eggs, orange juice, and a bowl of watermelon and green grapes.
“Happy birthday, Vannie,” Granny said as she came over to hug her.
And Vanna hugged her right back. “Thanks, Granny. I love you so much.”
“I love you too, baby.”
Tonight was the pinnacle of Vanna’s FFSF celebration. Dinner at Simplicity, a new chic restaurant owned by Domonique Sampson, a friend of hers and Jamaica’s from college. Domonique had gone on to culinary school after college, then returned to DC starting out with a food truck, then moving up to a pop-up, and now, for the last three months, her first restaurant. Vanna had been eager to support her old friend, and Domonique had been ecstatic to make tonight a very special night for Vanna.
The decor was top tier, not that she’d expected anything less. Simplicity had an art deco design, with warm cream-and-teal walls, and gold-and-cream accents in the table linens and at the host stand. Sleek, dark cement floors and a combo of low- and highboy tables in the main dining room. White wrought iron furniture occupied the patio area. That’s where Vanna’s party was being held—thank the Lord for the fantastic weather, not too muggy on this late summer’s evening, and no rain in sight.
The smaller square tables on the patio had been put together to create three nine-foot-long tables, draped in white linen cloths. Pink satin bows were tied around the backs of the white chairs. Small vases overflowing with dark- and light-pink roses created a runner down the center of each table. Gold candelabras held long blush-pink candles at measured intervals, and clear chargers rimmed in gold marked each place setting. There was a bar at the far end of the patio, with Vanna’s signature birthday drink—the pink vodka-lemonade—at the top of the drink menu. In another corner was a picture backdrop of pink, gold, and white balloons. The last part of the photo shoot with her, Jamaica, and Ronni had been taken there, with the bulk of the pictures at different locales around the city that the party bus had stopped at for that purpose specifically.
“Like a bunch of cotton candy, just like I said,” Jamaica said, coming up to stand behind Vanna.
They’d been at the venue for half an hour now. The party was set to start at eight, and people had begun to arrive. But Vanna was staring at the picture backdrop and thinking of how blessed she was to be here in this moment.
“It’s pretty,” she said, not bothering to toss Jamaica a nasty look. It didn’t matter what her friend thought of the decor tonight because this night was all about Vanna. Jamaica knew that and respected it, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to joke about what she also called “little-girl colors” along the way.
“I was coming to tell you that Croy and Davon just arrived, so you know that means the party is going to get started whether you want it to or not,” Jamaica said.
“Oh no,” Vanna began with a shake of her head. “The DJ already knows to play light jazz until we bless the food. Then we’re going to eat, I’ll say my thank-you’s, and then the party can begin.”
Jamaica raised a brow. “Oookay, well, I’ll go over and try to explain the order of the service to them, but they’ve already stopped at the bar.”
And by they , Vanna knew she really meant Davon, because he always drank more than Croy.
“Y’all better get y’all’s men. I’m not in the mood for no foolishness tonight,” she said, but her tone was light and easy.
Just like her mood.
Which, about fifteen minutes later, was lifted even higher when she saw Aden walk out onto the patio. It was the first time she’d seen him in person since the night of their argument two weeks ago. He wore black slacks and a white shirt, a black vest and a tie that matched the dusty-rose color of her dress. He walked toward her in that signature confident way he had, and her heart almost thumped right out of her chest.
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, clasping her hands behind her back. She’d tried to look away from him, to appear unbothered by his appearance, but failed dismally. The good thing was that, as transfixed as she seemed to be on him, he was equally as focused on her even as he moved through the crowd. He never broke eye contact with her and didn’t bump into anyone in the process. It was almost like they all knew to get out of his way, to let him through to his desired destination. To her.
The DJ was playing some smooth-jazz rendition of a Luther Vandross song, and Vanna thought it couldn’t be more appropriate ... if she and Aden were having this second reunion alone at her place or his. Beneath the evening stars and surrounded by fifty guests, including her grandmother, she couldn’t run and jump into his arms, wrap her legs around him, and whisper her nastiest thoughts into his ear. But damn, if that wasn’t exactly what she wanted to do.
“Hey,” he said when he was close enough to reach out and pull both her hands into his.
“Hey,” she whispered just as he brought her hands to his lips for a soft kiss to each one. The smile that spread across her face couldn’t be contained, not that she even tried. “Why didn’t you tell me you still planned to come tonight?”
Throughout all their communication this week, Vanna had been careful not to invite him anywhere, and he hadn’t invited himself anywhere. Of course, he already knew the schedule of plans for her FFSF weekend, and by the time they’d begun speaking again, tonight’s celebration was the only thing left. Still, she hadn’t wanted to bring it up, hadn’t wanted to give the impression that she needed him here with her tonight. But she was damn glad he was here.
“Why would you think I wasn’t going to show up?” he asked, the corner of his mouth lifting into that teasing grin she hated to love. “It’s your birthday, Savannah. I wanted to spend it with you—I mean, along with all your other family and friends.”
She nodded and glanced quickly away to see those family and friends either sitting down or standing in small groups, socializing. When she returned her gaze back to him, she admitted, “I’m glad you’re here.”
Now Aden’s smile was broad, laughter twinkling in his dark-brown eyes. “That didn’t hurt too much, did it?” he asked.
Vanna rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Aden,” she said playfully, and attempted to pull her hands from his grip. “You know I’m not used to this.”
“Nah, you know I’m just kidding. But it’s good to hear I finally did something to please you.”
“You’ve done a lot of things that pleased me,” she said.
“Ah, man,” he groaned. “Don’t talk like that when we’ve got all these people around us. You look good as hell, so I’d hate to rip this dress off of you.”
If she hadn’t already thought she looked sexy in the off-the-shoulder rose-colored dress that molded against her every curve and stopped at her knees with a small split on the left side, she felt like a whole snack after his words and the way he was gazing at her.
“Oookaay, come through with the matching prom look, Aden,” Jamaica said as she walked up to them.
“Glad you’re here, man,” Davon, who was right beside Jamaica, said. He extended his hand to Aden, and Aden released Vanna’s hands so he could shake it. “Your lady’s got a whole program before we can cut loose. I need you to try to talk her out of that.”
Aden laughed. “Nah, man. This is her night. I’m just here to be whatever she needs.”
“Oooohhh, that sounds nasty,” Jamaica said, and Vanna swatted her arm.
Moments later, Domonique came out to grab Vanna and go over a few things scheduled for the night. Ronni blessed the food, and they ate while soft music continued to play. The candles were alight on each table and, combined with the twinkle lights that covered the few bushes surrounding the patio, they created a casual-chic atmosphere that Vanna adored.
Jamaica tapped a fork to her glass and looked expectantly at Vanna a few minutes after the meal had been completed. Vanna frowned at her friend and said, “This is not a wedding girl, stop it.”
Laughing, she picked up the glass of champagne that one of the servers had just filled for her and stood. Right on cue, servers were now moving around the patio, filling every guest’s glass with champagne.
“I want to take this moment to thank each of you for coming out tonight,” Vanna said. “You have no idea how much it means to me that you thought enough of me to spend some of your time celebrating my special day. How much it means to be able to stand here today and focus on the significance of joy around a birthday celebration in light of our ancestors who were brutally stripped of age, life, and milestones.”
A round of applause sounded, and Vanna paused, glanced around once again at all her friends. Granny, who sat on one side of the table to the right of Vanna’s head of table seat. And Aden, who sat on the left side. To Jamaica, Davon, Ronni, and Croy, her closest crew, who held their glasses ready to toast her.
“I’m blessed beyond measure,” she continued. “And while I sometimes forget that, I always feel you with me. Your support and your positive energy is appreciated. Your—”
Clap. Clap. Clap.
The singular clapping sounded through the quiet, and everyone looked in the direction from which it had come.
“Bravo,” Gail said in a slurred voice as she made her way from the far end of the patio. “Bravo. What a great performance.” She clapped again, this time so hard that the glass she was holding slipped out of her hand and crashed to the floor, splashing its contents onto the bottom of Gail’s white slacks.
Vanna slowly lowered her glass, not sure of what exactly was happening but acknowledging the rise of a sickening heat in her stomach.
“You been standing up and showing out since the day I met your ass,” Gail said as she came closer to the head table where Vanna stood. “Always talking, always stealing my boy’s shine. Acting like you were better than him. Better than e’rebody else around you.”
“Gail,” Vanna said when she could finally find her voice again, “you weren’t invited.”
Gail let out a nauseating laugh. “See what I mean? That’s it right there. Your ass always acted like you were the big boss. I mean, you’re big—always have been. Told Caleb he needed to put you on a rabbit diet.” That laugh sounded again, and she stopped beside the chair where Croy sat.
Aden stood then. “I’ll take care of this,” he said, but Vanna shook her head.
“No,” she said, and stepped from around the table. “She obviously has something she wants to get off her chest. I’m game for giving her the stage to show everyone here what a trash mother she was to her child and how disrespectful she still is to me after all I did to keep him upright in this world.”
There was a part of her that wanted to assure Aden that she wasn’t refusing his help because of her Don’t need a man to save me routine, as he liked to call it. This was based solely on the fact that she was tired of Gail Carlson. Tired of her slick comments, her rude behavior, and, like she’d just said, the blatant disrespect she’d continually dished out to her.
“Oh, you always did think you were tough,” Gail said, and shook her head. “You don’t know the meaning of the word, with your bougie ass!”
“You’re interrupting my party, Gail. Say what you have to say so we can get on with our night,” Vanna spat.
By now, Jamaica and Ronni had both gotten up from their seats and were standing to Vanna’s right. Croy stood, but moved so that he was a few steps behind Gail.
“Don’t rush me, girl! If you knew what was comin’, you’d sit your ass back down and shut up,” Gail said. “But no, you too good for that. Good and damn foolish. But I swear you’ve got a little bit of luck on your side. How else do you keep escaping everything I put in place for your downfall?”
That last part had Vanna raising a brow and Aden stepping up closer to flank her left side. She felt his hand on the small of her back and knew that he would intervene the second she gave him the word.
“What are you talking about?” Vanna asked, that sickening feeling swirling in her stomach now.
Gail’s eyes were bloodshot just like Diane’s had been the last time she’d seen her. Vanna had witnessed Gail drunk before, but never like this. She practically reeked of alcohol like she’d been drinking nonstop for weeks. Her steps had been wobbly, and now she was barely able to stand still without swaying from one side to the other. But none of that stopped her.
“You know what I’m talkin’ ’bout.” More slurred words, this time added to a wave of her arm that almost sent her sprawling across the floor.
Croy had held out his arms, indicating he was ready to catch her whenever she finally toppled over.
“I tipped those cops off to that bank account!” Gail yelled. “When they came to my house to talk about my Caleb, ask if he had any enemies that might want to see him dead. Or if maybe he jumped in that water himself. I told ’em, you! You were the enemy! And I made sure they knew that’s where Caleb put his money. I knew because the statements came to my house along with all his other mail after you put him out.”
“What?” Vanna asked, her voice a raspy whisper.
“Caleb’s lovesick ass told me a while ago about that account. Said he wanted to make sure he had all the money he would need to take care of you right this time. All that boy talked about was getting your trifling ass back. Made me sick!”
“Wait a minute,” Vanna said. “You knew my name was still on that account.”
“Caleb didn’t never take it off. Tossed those papers you signed right in the trash one night. Said he wasn’t letting go of the last thing he had of your life together. I told him he was a fool right then and there. Told him he was a sorry excuse for a man, letting a woman dominate him the way you did.”
At her words, Vanna thought about all that Aden had told her about Caleb’s relationship with his mother. Vanna had never heard Gail talk to or about Caleb like this. She’d only ever doted on him and berated Vanna for not doing enough to take care of him. How the hell had she even formed those words when it was obvious now how badly she’d spoken to her own child?
“And I knew he had all that money, so I told the cops that’s where it was, and that’s how they knew to arrest your ass,” Gail said. “But then you got out of jail, and I knew I had to do more, to fix it so you’d stay behind bars until you died just like my son. So I put those bags in your house.”
“How the hell did your drunk ass get into her house?” Jamaica asked.
Gail’s head turned to Jamaica and frowned again. “You, the cop bitch,” Gail said with a shake of her head. “You should know better than to hang around criminals.” Gail laughed again before returning her gaze to Vanna.
Then she started to dig into the deep pocket of the white three-quarter-length jacket she wore. She pulled out keys and jingled them in the air. “I told you, you was dumb. You never changed the locks on the house. Caleb still had his key, so I used it and I was so ready to see you fry when I checked in with the detective and learned that they’d searched the house.”
“You vindictive—” Vanna moved toward Gail, ready to put hands on her, when Gail pulled a gun out of that same pocket and aimed it directly at her.
“Get back!” she told Vanna. “You stand back until I’m ready to end this for you.”
Aden had inched an arm around Vanna’s waist, pulled her back, and tucked her behind him. “I think it’s time for you to go,” he said in a voice that was far too calm for the rage Vanna felt jumping off him as she placed a hand on his arm.
The guests were immediately up and out of their seats, all rushing toward the opening where the patio led back into the restaurant.
“I ain’t goin’ nowhere,” Gail continued. “Not until I’m finished with her. If you’d just gone down with the cops, then I wouldn’t have to do this, but it’s probably better this way.”
At this moment, Vanna wished she hadn’t taken Granny’s gun from her after that night when she’d pulled it on Aden. Not that it had any bullets, anyway.
“Nah, you’re leaving,” Aden said. “Going out the door with the cops you love talking to so much.” He nodded just beyond Gail’s shoulder, and Vanna’s eyes widened as she saw two uniformed cops coming through the opening to the patio.
She hadn’t heard them before, but now the sound of sirens in the distance broke through the air. Somebody at the party must’ve called the police, thankfully, or this situation could’ve ended much worse.
“You killed my son, and all he did was love you!” Gail cried out as one of the officers came up behind her and demanded she drop the gun.
Another officer came around until Gail could see him. “Drop the gun!” he yelled “Drop it now!”
“No!” Gail yelled back. “She killed my son!”
Davon had gotten up and had moved Granny to the other side of the DJ stand, out of the line of fire, and Vanna whispered a silent thank-you to him as she glimpsed them out of her peripheral. Aden never moved from in front of her, and Jamaica and Ronni still stood beside her.
“Ma’am, we’re only gonna ask you one more time,” the officer who stood in front of Gail said now.
Behind her, the other officer yelled, “Drop the gun! Drop it!”
Gail didn’t drop the gun; instead, she started to turn the gun so it would be aimed at herself, but the officer who had been in front of her fired, shooting her in the leg. She dropped like a ton of bricks; the gun she’d been holding skittering across the ground.
Aden backed them up as more officers came from everywhere, one picking up Gail’s gun, another turning her over onto her stomach so he could pull her hands behind her back. Vanna watched in shock as the woman she’d once wanted to like and accept her was cuffed, blood gushing from her leg, as she continued to yell and rail at Vanna. This time when tears stung Vanna’s eyes, she let them fall freely. Instead of pushing back on the anger, the hurt, the confusion she’d been grappling with for weeks, she let it all loose until gut-wrenching sobs escaped and her legs gave out beneath her.