Chapter 32
Harvey
Killian went home the following day, and I returned to work. Steph had given me grief for hiding him away, but I reminded her he’d been ill and needed his rest.
“Rest. I see. A fit man like him in your house and you’re letting him rest.”
“We had a lot to talk about. I might have snuck in a kiss or two, but you can’t tell anyone. We’re seeing how things go. I hurt him. A lot.”
She rubbed my back. “I know you’ll make it work, and you seem so right for each other. Look at you now. Your smile is brighter; there’s a bounce in your step that was never there before.”
“I’ve been happy.” For three years, I’d worked on myself and made sure I relied on no one else for it.
“You have, but not like this. It radiates from you. But don’t be thinking that because you have a famous boyfriend, I’ll let you slack off. Get some work done. Table four needs clearing, and then you can clean the toilets.”
I took a tray and cleared the table, humming as I went.
The toilets were next. Thankfully, they didn’t get too dirty, but it wasn’t my favourite job.
“Hey, Harvey. You wanna come out here?”
What on earth was it now? “Steph, if you’re going to ask me to clean the kitchen, you can do that yourself.”
I walked into the shop to find her standing there with an enormous bouquet. “What? Who sent you flowers?”
“They’re not for me. Here. There’s a card.”
I took them from her and stuck my nose in them. They smelled divine. I found the card and took it out of the small envelope.
Harv,
Thanks for looking after me so well. See you soon.
Love, K
“What does it say?”
“Just thanking me for looking after him. That’s all.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet and romantic.”
It really was. I didn’t think he was that kind of guy, but I wouldn’t put anything past him.
I sniffed them again. Roses, carnations, and lilies. It was beautiful.
Harvey: Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.
Killian: Hey, I can be romantic. Look, I’m going to be away for a couple of days. Some meeting Duncan said can’t wait. I’ll call you, though, if that’s okay, and we’ll meet up when I’m back. K
Harvey: I’m looking forward to it x
“Aw, someone’s in love.” Steph teased.
“Not in love, but I don’t know. It feels good.”
“You deserve all the love, honey.”
She smiled at the new customer who had come in, and I went about the rest of my day with the biggest smile on my face.
True to his word, he kept in touch over the following days. He called, he texted, and there was never a day that we didn’t speak.
It was so different from last time. For a start, I was in a much better place and didn’t panic if I didn’t see his name on my screen. I knew he’d call because he said he would, and I was at ease more.
A few days turned into almost a week, and by the weekend, I was missing him something dreadful. He’d told me he’d be around later, so I was surprised when I opened the door late morning to find him standing on the doorstep with a huge smile on his face.
“You’re early. I wasn’t expecting you yet.”
“I couldn’t wait to see you. I have news and wanted to share it, but first, I need to do this.”
He took my mouth with his in a passionate kiss, walking me backwards into the hall and closing the door.
His lips tasted fruity, as did his tongue. Our kisses before this had been gentle, tentative kisses, testing the water, but this was a full-on kiss, filled with promise.
I gripped his hair, pulling him closer to me. God, I’d waited so long to do this. I couldn’t stop. His mouth moved frantically against mine, his breath loud to my ears.
As soon as he started, he stopped, but only to move to my neck. He assaulted it with nips and scrapes of his teeth.
“Fuck, this was all I could think about on the train. Slamming you up against the wall and taking you.”
“God, yes. Do it.” I moaned as his hand rubbed against my cock. I’d been cleaning, so I was only wearing a pair of sweatpants.
He whipped them down my thighs and got to his knees.
“Fuck, Harv. It’s as thick as I remember.”
Not waiting for an answer, he devoured me and pinned me to the wall. My legs buckled, but he held me up.
Sloppy and wet, the blowjob was messy, but I didn’t care about that.
I was harder than ever, and the way he pressed forward, taking me to the back of his throat, I hadn’t known anything like that in forever.
“Fuck, Killian. I’m gonna come already.”
It had been that long since anyone had touched me; it was like lighting the touch paper and stepping back to see what happened.
In my case, it was a two-second fuse.
I blew my load in his mouth, shouting his name, and banged my hand on the hall table, rattling the keys in the dish. I did it again, and this time, the dish fell to the floor, and we shattered together.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head. I saw proverbial stars. My breath came in pants as, slowly, I came back down from my high.
I looked at Killian’s face, my cock still in his mouth. Cum dribbled from his lips. I leant down and took his mouth, this time tasting me. I’d never done anything like that before, but I was so turned on.
He stood and backed me against the wall again. “Fuck, I want to be inside you.”
Whoa, we’d done no butt stuff before, although I’d contemplated it. We’d never even talked about it before I ended things.
He sensed my hesitation and pulled back.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you should. It’s something we need to talk about, I suppose.”
“Harv, anal is not a necessity for me. Yes, I fucking enjoy it, but if you’re not ready, it’s okay. I know we’re still finding our feet. I’d never rush you. You know this.”
“I know you wouldn’t, but I’m curious.”
“Have you ever touched yourself there?”
“God, no. I was always terrified I’d go to hell. You know how my mind worked, and well, after that, there was no one I wanted to do it with.”
“And what about now?”
What about now? Would I want him like that? “I think we need to experiment a little and then see how it goes.”
“I’m cool with that.” He adjusted himself. “I enjoyed that, though. Wear those forever.”
“What about you?”
“I’m knackered. I got up and caught the earlier train so I’d be here sooner. Is there any coffee on?”
“No, but I can make some.” I was still reeling from his admission that he got the earlier train. That, and the thought of Killian inside me.
Now he’d mentioned it, it was all I could think about. So much so that Killian pulled me up about being distant sometime later.
“Harv. What’s up? Aren’t you happy I came home early?”
We were in our usual spot on the sofa, him lying back with me sprawled on his chest.
I sat up to look at him. “I am more than happy you’re home.”
Home. When did he call it home?
“But I can’t deny that I’m curious about, you know… anal.”
“Harv…”
“No, let me finish. I want to try it.”
“Now?”
“I mean, there’s no time like the present, but I’m guessing we’d need to practice.”
“Remember Ash?”
I nodded. How could I forget him?
“That guy didn’t need an ounce of prep. But he was a seasoned pro. You, on the other hand, have had no experience at all, so yes, we’ll need to practice. We’ll start small, then work our way up to the ‘main event’.”
“Please don’t call it that.” I put my hands over my eyes, embarrassed by his words.
“Sorry. I didn’t know what else to call it. But you know what I mean. I don’t want to plan, because that takes the fun out of everything, so let me know when you think you’re ready.”
Seeing how it was all I could think about, now sounded good, but he’d already said he was tired.
“Okay. I’ll let you know. Do we need to buy anything? Plugs or dildos?”
He laughed, but I didn’t get the feeling he was laughing at me.
“Fingers and lube will do just fine. You have lube, right?”
“Somewhere, yes.” I didn’t remember the last time I used it.
“I have some at the apartment if you don’t.”
“How long are you here for?” He had his own place in Liverpool. He’d probably want to go back there.
“As long as you’ll have me. We can take a trip into the city tomorrow if you’d like. I need to grab more clothes, anyway.”
“Deal.” I settled back to where I’d been, listening to the steady beat of his heart. It grounded me like no other sound, but the image of his fingers in my arse wouldn’t leave me.
I clenched and unclenched. Surely something that big wouldn’t fit, but I knew it would.
“What are you doing, Harv? You’re fidgeting around like you’ve got a flea up your arse.”
Not a flea exactly. “I can’t get comfortable. We could go to bed?”
“Its six o’clock.”
“And?”
“You wanna try it, don’t you?”
Was I that obvious? “Well, now you’ve mentioned it, I can’t think of anything else.”
“Fuck’s sake, Harv. Come on, let’s give it a go, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
And that was the good thing with us. He knew how inexperienced I was at all things sexual. Hell, I’d only ever had his mouth on my dick a few times. Was I wanting to move too quickly?
“Where do you want me?” Trembling, I stood next to the bed.
“On the bed would be a good start. Relax, Harv. I won’t hurt you.”
“I know. Just a bit, you know…”
“Nervous?”
“Excited.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Then let’s get on with it. Just so you know, I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good.”
“I’m counting on it.”
I undressed and climbed onto the bed. “This feels like a lesson,” I said and nibbled on my thumbnail.
“Relax, Harv.”
With both of us naked, he lay next to me, drawing his fingers down my side, and when I squirmed, he stopped, laying his hand flat on my stomach.
“Easy, baby.” He peppered kisses on my neck and shoulders, gradually working his way down my body. He took each nipple into his mouth, sucking and licking each one. My cock twitched, loving the attention he was giving me.
I reached for him, but he batted my hand away. “This is about you and me making you feel good. Enjoy it.”
I did as he said and closed my eyes, every part of me electrified by his touch.
Slowly, he made his way down my body, kissing and stroking inch by excruciating inch. I never knew where he’d touch next, and as much as I wanted to open my eyes, it heightened my senses in ways I couldn’t describe.
Goosebumps erupted on my skin in his wake, and I writhed on the bed, unable to keep still.
He placed a gentle hand on my stomach. “Are you ready, baby?”
I nodded and clutched at the bedclothes. Was I ready?
Only one way to find out.
The press of his hands on my inner thighs startled me. I took a couple of deep breaths as he coaxed them apart, exposing a part of myself to him that no one had ever seen.
“Fuck, Harv. It looks better than I could have imagined. Are you still okay?”
I squeaked out a yes and waited, my eyes still tightly shut.
He blew on me, a warm puff of air eliciting new sensations never encountered before. I clenched then released as he did it again.
“I’m going to touch you now. Okay?”
I nodded again, tempted to clamp my thighs together, but I waited patiently for him. I heard the click of a lid, the squirt of a bottle.
“Just lube, Harv.”
His coated finger touched me, not intrusively, but a tender stroke down my taint to my hole. God, it was good.
He did it a couple of times more before the tip of his finger edged its way in.
I relaxed a little, expecting more pain, but there was none.
“That’s the tip of my little finger. Do you think you could take all of it?”
“Yep. Do it. Please.”
Oh, that was a sensation I wasn’t expecting, but again, there was no pain. He moved it around, stroking my insides.
“Still good? More?”
“More, please.”
He removed his finger. “I’m going to put my thumb in. This will be a bit more, but I think you can take it.”
I felt pressure around my hole, then pleasure as the thick digit filled me.
“God, yes. This is amazing.” I wasn’t ready for his dick yet, but this I could handle.
“You’re doing so good, baby.” He slid it out, then put it back again, fucking me gently and slowly.
“Oh, my God.” I couldn’t keep still and rocked my hips, allowing him deeper.
“Fuck Harv. If you could take my dick now. I’d blow within seconds.”
Tempted as I was to tell him to do it, I knew it was too soon.
“Another finger.” I croaked, needing to feel more. My cock oozed precum, and only now did I touch it. “Fuck, this is good. I’m gonna come soon.”
“Not yet. You sure you’re good?”
“Damn sure. I want it all.” I craved it and knew this was something I’d never get enough of. “Oh, God. Oh, God,” I panted as Killian pushed in a couple more fingers. He scissored his fingers, opening me up.
“You’re so fucking tight, but you open so easily. Jesus, I’m gonna come myself at this rate.”
He crooked his finger and hit what I knew was my prostate. I nearly hit the fucking roof.
“Oh, that’s it. Right there. Fucking hell.” I fisted my cock, my hand moving faster until, finally, it exploded. Spurt after spurt hit my stomach and chin. I’d never come so hard in my life.
I relaxed back onto the bed, milking the rest of my cum.
“Fuck, Harv. I’m gonna come, too. Ahh. Jesus. Fuck. Goddamn it.”
Only then did I open my eyes and watch as his spunk joined mine. It was so fucking hot.
“That was amazing,” I said as I lay boneless on the bed. “I’ve never experienced anything like that before. When can we do it again?”
Killian laughed and collapsed next to me. “You’ll need to give me a minute. I’m not a young man anymore.”
“You know, I never thought we’d get here. I was never in the right headspace before, and well, when I tried to take my life, I didn’t think I was worthy of love again. You’ve proved me wrong, Killian. I was always capable of it. I just needed to find the right partner. The right soul mate.”
“When you disappeared, I threw myself into writing songs. Mainly sad ones, I admit. There was one line I wrote that left a deep impression on my heart. Losing you was the worst thing to ever happen to me. I’m so fucking glad we met again. You’re my heart, Harv. I never want that to change.”
“What was the line? I’d like to know.” I placed a hand on his chest, the thud of his heart strong.
“All I wanted was a lifetime of tomorrows, but you left me with only yesterdays.”
“That’s beautiful and sad.” I hated that I made him feel that way.
“But now we can live our tomorrows together. No more yesterdays.”
“No more yesterdays. We have a lifetime to live.”