CHAPTER 29 - OLDENBURG, GERMANY—JANUARY 31, 1917 #2
Her breath turned shallow as she climbed the stairs.
She paused at the third-floor landing, taking in gulps of air, and along with it the smell of stale tobacco smoke.
Approaching the door, hair stood up on the back of her neck.
It’s all a misunderstanding. Everything will be fine.
She knocked. Footsteps grew from inside the room, and the door opened.
“Anna,” Bruno said, wrapping his arms around her. “I’m happy you’re here.”
“I promised,” she said, her legs feeling weak.
He released her, shut the door, and then helped her to remove her coat.
The room was much like the one on the second floor, which Bruno had rented during their courtship. It contained a small brass bed with a gray wool blanket, a solitary wooden chair, and a washstand, from which a lit candle cast an amber glow over the room.
“I was able to acquire some black bread this afternoon,” Bruno said, pointing to a paper bag on the washstand. “I thought we could take it home to share for dinner, unless you’d like to eat some now.”
Anna shook her head.
He approached her. “You look pale. Are you feeling all right?”
“Nein.”
“Please sit.” He clasped her hand and led her toward the bed. “I’ll get you some water.”
“Not now,” she said, slipping away from him. She leaned her back against the footboard of the brass bed. “We need to talk.”
“What’s wrong?”
Nausea rose up from her belly and seized in her throat. “I overheard your conversation with Max last night.”
“Oh,” he said. “What did you hear?”
She swallowed. “Tell me about the Disinfection Unit.”
Bruno’s eyebrows furrowed, and then softened. “Oh, that.” He attempted to embrace her and she pulled away.
“Please don’t,” she said, placing her hands in front of her.
“All right.” He lowered his arms and looked at her.
“Tell me,” she said.
“I know nothing about a Disinfection Unit, other than what Max told me last night,” Bruno said, his voice calm. “He claims it was a special unit that installed poison gas in his trench.”
“Did you ever hear of it before?”
“Nein,” he said. “Max seems to blame this unit for his blindness, even though it was a French shell, which pierced a gas cylinder, that caused the accident.” He ran a hand through his hair.
“Based on his questioning, he seemed to infer that I had something to do with the installation of gas in his trench.”
“Why would he think that?” Anna asked.
“Perhaps it was because I was stationed in Ypres at the time of his injury, and he’s now mistakenly associating my regiment with this so-called Disinfection Unit.”
“But your regiment did something else in Ypres, correct?”
“Ja,” he said. “I led a unit that constructed bunkers. But soon after I was reassigned to an artillery post.”
Anna took a deep breath and exhaled.
“His insinuation agitated me,” he said. “It’s the reason I went for a walk last night. And my time alone helped me realize that there may be more to Max’s intentions than merely pointing blame for his blindness.”
Anna folded her arms. “What do you mean?”
“I think he has feelings for you.”
Anna straightened her spine. “You’re mistaken.”
“Are you sure?” Bruno asked. “You spend a lot of time together.”
An image of sitting next to Max at the piano, her head leaning on his shoulder, flashed in her brain. Her heart rate quickened.
“I cannot begin to imagine how terrifying it might be for Max to face the prospect of living on his own, with the exception of a dog companion.” He placed his palms together. “How long has he been here with you?”
“Over five weeks,” she said.
“It took me far less than that to fall for you.” He moved close. “I think he cares for you, and he dreads being on his own. It might be a catalyst for creating a fallacious impression of me in his head. And he’s using it to create a divide between us.”
“Max doesn’t have feelings for me,” she said. “And he’d never deliberately try to hurt either of us.”
“How do you know?”
She drew a breath, struggling to provide a rebuttal.
“I wanted to tell you about this last night, but I thought it might upset you.” He looked into her eyes. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already begun telling you stories to create doubt about me.”
She lowered her head.
“Oh, no,” Bruno said sadly. “He did say something. Didn’t he?”
“Ja,” she breathed.
“I’m so sorry, Anna. I wish I would have talked to you earlier.” He gently placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m not upset, nor do I have any ill feelings toward Max. He’s merely grown fond of you. He’s hurting inside, and he might be afraid to be on his own.”
Her mind struggled to process Bruno’s words.
“When we go home,” Bruno said, “I’ll talk with Max and sort it all out.”
“You’ll do that?”
“Of course,” he said. “Will that make you feel better?”
She nodded.
“Gut.” He caressed her cheek with his thumb.
As if by reflex to his touch, she placed a hand to the nape of her neck and clasped the chain to her mutter’s locket. Harbor your heart. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything,” he said.
She drew a deep breath. “Why would the army waste the skills of a chemist on building bunkers?”
He paused, looked at her. “Our military places little value on education when assigning men to their posts.”
She looked deep into his eyes, seeking any hint that he might not be telling her the truth, and she found nothing. But an ache, deep in the pit of her gut, compelled her to find out for certain, even if she had to mislead him.
“Is there anything else you’d like to know?” he asked.
“There is,” Anna said, gathering her courage. “When were you going to tell me that your family’s business was supplying the military with poison gas?”
Bruno stepped back, as if he’d been poked with a stick. “What did he tell you?”
“Don’t lie to me,” Anna said with feigned indignance.
“Max has gone mad!”
“How long did you think you could keep this a secret from me?”
Bruno cocked his head to the side. “There is no secret.”
“Then I shall write to your vater,” she bluffed. “Or perhaps I’ll go visit him in Frankfurt to discuss why his son refuses to tell his fiancée the truth about his family’s business.”
“Anna—”
“Stop the lies!” she cried. “I already know that Wahler Farbwerke is manufacturing poison gas!”
Bruno’s jaw muscles tightened.
“If there is to be any chance for us, you need to tell me precisely how you got involved, and what you’re going to do about it.” She clenched her hands, digging her nails into her palms.
He paused, wiped his face with his hands, and then lowered his eyes. “I didn’t have a choice.”
Oh, my God.
“A team of chemists, including myself, were recruited by Fritz Haber, head of the Chemistry Section in the Ministry of War, for a special unit.” He drew a jagged breath.
“I didn’t know what it was for. I thought it might be to develop improved explosives.
But it turned out to be for the deployment of chemical weapons.
There was nothing I could do to leave or change my assignment.
And I found out from Haber that my vater had entered into military contracts to supply the army with chlorine gas—a by-product from ink and dye manufacturing. ”
This can’t be happening! Anna shuffled over the floor and slumped in the chair. Tears welled in her eyes.
“There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t regret what I’m doing,” he said.
“Why did you lie to me?” she cried.
“I didn’t want to hurt you, and I was afraid of losing you.” He kneeled at her feet and placed his hands on her knees. “Things will be different after the war. All will be forgotten. The business will go back to making dye. Our days will be filled with happiness and prosperity—I promise.”
Hot tears streamed down her cheeks. “You’re committing atrocities.”
“It’s war,” Bruno said. “The British and French are using the same gases.”
“It doesn’t matter!” she cried. “It’s a war crime. You’ve killed and maimed human beings with poison!”
Bruno stared at her. With a voice devoid of emotion, he said, “Death is death, regardless of how it is inflicted.”
She shuddered. A pain pierced her stomach, producing the urge to vomit. “Oh, my God. What has become of you?”
He opened his mouth but made no sound. His hands trembled against her knees.
She stood, pushing him away.
His eyes filled with tears. He lowered his head and wept.
With shaking hands, she removed her engagement ring from her finger and placed it at his feet. She retrieved her coat and left the boardinghouse. Brokenhearted and shattered, she collapsed onto the sidewalk and sobbed.