Chapter 14
Briar
When I arrived back downstairs, dinner was just being wheeled in and set up buffet-style. I grabbed a plate and started piling on the food. I'd eaten way too much today but as my mother always used to say, “Calories don't count on the holidays.”
There were a few tables set up with chairs but some of the guys were eating their food with their plates in their laps.
I found an empty space at a table, then looked around for Rivi. He was nowhere in sight. Maybe he'd gone to the bathroom and would be back in a minute. I put my napkin in the seat next to me to save his place. I knew he would want to eat with me.
During my shower, I had made up my mind that I would allow Rivi to hang out with me but at the same time not defy Trent. We wouldn't do anything more than talk and spend time together. That would be my new rule.
Trent and Ozzy took up a table nearby. I leaned back and said, “Rivi’s not here?”
Trent glanced up, mouth a straight line.
Then Ozzy piped up. “He was tired and not hungry after all the snacks. Said he was going up early.”
Trent said nothing.
I nodded and turned back to my plate. As my own appetite plummeted, the food didn’t look nearly as good. I took a few bites, then got up. I walked to Trent and Ozzy’s table.
“I want you to know I have all of Rivi’s best interests at heart.”
Trent picked up his napkin and dabbed at his mouth. “Good.”
I went for the blunt truth. “Then why do you disapprove of his taking a liking to me?”
“I don’t.”
“You do. You told me to be careful, and I am.”
Trent stood, tossing his napkin on the table. To Ozzy, he said, “I’ll be right back.” To me, he said, “Let’s go look at the tree. There are some lights that might be out.”
I followed him to the corner by the roaring fireplace.
As we stood apart from his guests, Trent faced me. “I’ve known Rivi all his life. He’s a sensitive kid.”
“Adult,” I corrected.
Trent frowned. “All right. But he needs to have someone… someone else this first time around.”
I had to force myself to keep my voice low. “Someone not like me?”
“You’re a bit on the rough side, don’t you think? And Rivi’s sensitive. Vulnerable.”
I nodded. “Yes, he is. Which is why I just said what I said. I’d never do anything to harm him. A stranger is the unknown. I’m the known.”
“He’s not into the BDSM stuff like we are.”
“All littles are different. I understand that. I’ve been around the block once or twice, Trent.”
“And that’s just it. He hasn’t been even halfway around the block. I’m looking out for him.”
“It doesn’t bother me that he wouldn’t want a bondage scene. I’ve done enough of that in my life. A daddy role is much more than that.”
Trent grimaced.
My fingers curled. Whenever I became impatient, I counted. Sometimes to three. Sometimes to ten. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.
“Did he leave because I left after we started this discussion an hour ago?”
Trent cleared his throat. “He wondered why you left and may have gotten a little upset.”
“And you told him the truth?”
“I told him to take his time.”
“With me?”
“With anyone.”
“If he doesn’t feel safe or welcome now, that’s on you, Trent. Not me. I value our friendship. Dude, I love you. I love my job. But you have to know you’re making this too personal. You trust me. You always have. I understand your protective nature. I share it. I don’t know what else to say.”
“He’s delicate.” The two words came in a whisper.
That was the point of view of a protector for sure. A father-figure. A good man. I didn’t fault him for that.
“You have always trusted me,” I insisted.
He bowed his head.
“Trent, he likes me. I like him. That’s not a bad thing.
But if you want me to promise you nothing will happen, at least while we are here in your home, I will.
I think it’s a big disservice to Rivi, though.
He came here to try to feel like he belonged somewhere with his kink.
And now….” I glanced about the room. “It’s as if he’s run away. ”
Trent sighed.
“And hey, I’m not that rough. Back in the day when we were younger, we both had a code. We were good together with subs. We didn’t ever go too far. And aftercare was huge for me.”
He said nothing.
“Maybe Rivi doesn’t want those types of games, but he will be at the party on Saturday. If you didn’t want him around that, why did you invite him here?”
Trent let out a rush of air. “Because he begged me to.”
“He begged?”
“He never knew I owned the club. He found out and called me. He confessed his secrets. He wanted to be here.”
“And he’s old enough now to make those sorts of decisions.”
He clicked his tongue. “In his entire life, I could never say no to him. I gave in.”
“You didn’t. You gave him what he asked for. He was so happy today when he came here in his new onesie pajamas. He was afraid for only a minute, then he melted into the room. In his element. He’s family to you. But now he’s family. To us.”
Trent turned away from me. I thought I was losing him.
I understood when emotion took over. When love for family filled the mind and heart.
Logic didn’t always work. Some parents dreamed of keeping their kids under lock and key, wishing them small forever.
But that didn’t happen. Kids grew up. They learned from making their own choices, good or bad, and from falling and then getting back up again.
“Trent. Trust me. I’m your friend. I will stay away from him if you make it an ultimatum.
But then where will he go? Some stranger, maybe, at the kink store?
Or at a club like yours? I am the known factor here.
Not the unknown man you’ll never see. I can guarantee you, he’ll be making the first move if he ever gets the courage, not me.
I’m patient. I know the daddy role well. It’s part of my identity. It’s me.”
Trent looked up. His dark eyes were swimming. Softly, “Rivi’s just a boy.”
“Not anymore. But he is a little.”
Trent nodded once. Blinking. “It’s difficult for me.”
“I know.”
Trent didn’t usually talk about deep things with me unless he was very drunk, or hurting.
“When I first brought Ozzy here, he was so hurt.” Trent’s voice was low, almost shaky.
“I stayed away from him. Later, I found out that hurt him more. I was the rescuer for a little who needed healing. Part of that healing involved a daddy figure. And trust. I stayed away and that couldn’t happen until he broke down right in front of me, letting out all the things he needed that I refused to see.
But I’m trained. I should have seen it. He latched onto me and I pushed him away. ”
“If you didn’t want that….”
“But the truth was, I did want him. But I had guilt. And confusion over his trauma. And my own grief. Ozzy brought light back to me. He lifted the fog from my eyes.”
I hesitated to ask, but blurted, “You were still in grief over the death of your brother, right?”
“Definitely.”
“I’m glad he came to you and you both worked it out. I’m happy for you.”
“But apparently, I haven’t learned my lesson to see what boys and littles really want without trying to be protective of their virtues at the same time.”
I let out a forced chuckle. “What a flaw you have there, Trent. The mighty savior flaw.”
He made a face at me.
“That’s because you’re a good guy. You know that.”
His eyes slowly closed, then opened. “So are you.”
“I’m still single. Things haven’t worked out for me in the long run. But I try.”
Trent was silent for a long time. Again, I counted. When I got to eight, he spoke.
“I think Rivi went back to his room. He didn’t take his present, so he didn’t leave to play his new video games.”
“Would it be all right if I took him his present? Checked in on him?”
Trent nodded. “He did seem a little hasty in leaving.”
“And upset?”
“Yes.”
“Poor guy.”
He raised his hand, waving it between us. “My fault.”
“Nobody’s fault. But I’ll get him talking. And I’ll listen.”
“That sounds good.”
I turned, then swiveled back. “And I will promise nothing will happen.”
“What?”
“Between us,” I clarified.
Trent raised an eyebrow. The corners of his mouth twitched. “Now that wouldn’t be very fair to him, would it?”
It was as if my heart started to beat again. Rivi. So beautiful. Innocent, open, virgin. And now Trent. Telling me that beauty might be in my arms some time with his knowledge if not outright permission. Tonight. Next week. Next month. I’d wait forever for that sweetheart.
“Is that you saying that you now trust me? That possibly we have your blessing?”
“I’ve always trusted you. I just wanted my little nephew to stay young and innocent forever.”
“That’s a wish a lot of parent figures have, I think.”
“Thank you for understanding. I didn’t mean to be rude.”
“I knew that.” We had been friends for too long. Things could be overlooked when someone was in full-on protective mode.
Trent’s chin went up. “Go find him. And take him his games.”
Right. The gift. My own gift had already been stashed in my room. I glanced at the table where Ozzy and Maddy had been coloring. Crayons and ripped out pages from the coloring books were everywhere. Beneath that table was Rivi’s gift.
I went to it and picked it up.
As I walked from the room, Trent caught my eye and sent me a quick smile. Then he looked away. His gesture seemed almost insignificant, but it spoke volumes. He was giving his boy to me. The son he’d wished he’d had.
That was a very big deal.