Chapter 5
He rereads the email Samuel sent and tries to come to terms with what Samuel desires from a man. Is there a reason he can’t date a normal man and ask for the occasional spanking? Wouldn’t a normal man be willing to treat him like a cock whore?
Maybe Bryan is more perverse than he gave himself credit for, but it seems like a no-brainer to take what the young man wants to offer and be grateful. What man would object to having an attractive young man be so eager for his cock that he wants to be used anywhere and everywhere?
It’s just another thing to discuss after work.
Maybe they can find someone better for Samuel. Someone closer to what the boy deserves. Someone with a job, a home, and closer to his own age. Ballbuster is over a decade older than Bryan!
Not that Bryan thinks he’s the right man for the job.
Of course not. He isn’t gay. He’s never thought about being a Daddy in a sexual capacity. Well, not before 2am the night before.
He spends all afternoon Googling things on his phone and jerks off again after lunch. It’s a necessity. Now that he knows these things exist, that someone like Samuel wants them, he can’t focus on anything else.
If Bryan is this tempted by Samuel’s desires that he’s suddenly imagining spanking him, imagining calling him a good boy just to see him stumble, just to get him in the right frame of mind so he can take advantage of Samuel, then God only knows what some sleazy man would make Samuel do.
He’d be taken advantage of.
Which is why this conversation after work is so important. Bryan’s priority needs to be letting Samuel know that he has someone who cares for him, respects him, and wants what is best for him. Perhaps knowing that will make him expect more from a romantic partner?
Though he doesn’t like the idea of Samuel dating anyone, if he’s being honest.
One problem at a time.
At 4:59 PM, he stands up, gathers his things, and exits his office. Samuel is packed up and ready to go but staring at his computer screen as if he’s working.
“Ready?” Bryan asks.
Samuel blushes and jolts upright in his chair.
“You still want to?”
“Of course,” Bryan says, and adjusts the collar of his suit jacket. Samuel looks him over, lingering and attentive, and then he looks away, back to his computer screen.
“Can I meet you in a minute?” Samuel says. “I just need a minute to get myself together. My stuff packed up,” he amends.
His things are ready to go. It’s obvious.
“What do you need to do?”
“It’s… embarrassing.”
“I thought you liked being embarrassed,” Bryan says absently, trying to fix the cufflink on his sleeve that has just come undone.
He can see Samuel out of the corner of his eye. Samuel’s hand drops between his legs. He gives his cock a squeeze through his pants, and his eyes close like he’s in pain.
“Gentle,” he orders, and Samuel lets go with a gasp, his hands flattening on the desk before him. It might be the most artlessly arousing thing he’s ever seen and Bryan doesn’t even know why.
Then Samuel looks up at Bryan, and the whites of his eyes are visible. Is he scared? Didn’t he realize Bryan could see him touching himself?
“I don’t know what I was doing. I swear to you, I never—”
“Stop. You’re fine. It’s been a strange day for the both of us.
Relax. Take a few breaths and then meet me at the elevator when you can,” he says, voice rough.
He wants to touch Samuel, grab his shoulder or touch his hair, something to put the boy at ease because that’s what a good Daddy would do when his boy was anxious.
Which means that is what Samuel would respond to.
This is insane. And once again Bryan’s cock is getting hard.
Samuel swallows audibly. He shakes his head in disagreement. “This isn’t a good idea. You’re going to wind up firing me, after all. I don’t mean to act like this, I swear. I think I’m… afraid. Or something? It’s confusing, you know?”
Bryan puts his hand over Samuel’s.
Samuel twitches under his grip and he’s almost positive the boy makes a quiet sound in his throat.
“Samuel. Trust me, it’s fine. Your job is safe.” Bryan’s heart is pounding, and his own cock is fully hard again. He feels powerful. As if he could unzip his pants and offer his cock to his assistant and be swallowed down eagerly. As if Samuel is his for the taking.
He lifts his hand away. Has to open and close his fingers, tuck his hand into his pants, and try to wipe away the electric sensation of touching his assistant.
This is ridiculous.
Bryan turns away and goes to the elevator. He tries to calm down, to remind himself of the objective. Samuel is struggling with loneliness and desire, and Bryan wants to be a steadying influence. He does. Is it actually possible?
“Sorry,” Samuel says and gives him a tight smile as he shows up at the elevator. “I appreciate you doing this,” Samuel says. It isn’t very convincing. “Though I’d understand if you want to back out.”
“Hold the door!” Kevin calls and jogs towards them.
How annoying. Bryan puts a hand on the door, and Kevin from accounting steps inside with them. They chat until the doors open, and then he goes one way and they go another.
“I don’t want to back out,” Bryan says, picking up the conversation from where they were interrupted.
Samuel laughs weakly. A release of tension. They walk to Bryan’s car and say nothing, which is good. It gives Bryan a chance to shore up his talking points and get himself together.
“I value your advice and appreciate what you’ve done for me over the years,” Samuel says. It sounds rehearsed. “I know this isn’t the sort of thing you’re comfortable with….” Then he seems to run out of words. He shrugs, his smile is forced.
“It’s alright and I am happy to talk to you about any problem you have.
It might be uncomfortable for me, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be done.
” Once again, he sounds stiff and formal to his own ears.
Has he always been like this? “I don’t want to be judgmental, Samuel.
I do understand that most everyone else in the world desires sex and companionship. ”
Samuel nods sharply and opens the door, ducking quickly into the car.
Maybe it’s for the best because Bryan just made it seem like he has no desire for sex because he’s some boring, robotic businessman who cuddles his spreadsheets and jerks off to Excel updates.
He feels a sudden urge to drink five beers and force them both to watch a football game so he can prove he’s a man.
This isn’t going very well so far.
When Bryan gets in, he sees the young man dabbing at the corner of his eye with his knuckle.
A jolt of arousal courses through Bryan, and he isn’t sure why. But he wants to make Samuel look at him, wants to see if that was really a tear, if there are more. He wants to wipe them away himself. Would he look beautiful crying?
Another thing that has never even occurred to him.
“Have you ever been into anything kinky?” Samuel asks, as if he can read Bryan’s mind.
Bryan glances at him in surprise.
“I’m just asking because we’re going to be talking about personal things in my life, and you seem like the most vanilla person to have ever existed.”
It’s an insult. Bryan sighs. “My life feels that way, too. Just to be clear, I don’t jerk off over Excel spreadsheets.”
Samuel laughs. “I don’t think anyone is that kinky.”
Should he tell Samuel his private history? There isn’t a lot to tell, but perhaps it would put Samuel at ease and build trust between them?
“I’ve slept with two women in my life. My wife and a one-night stand when the divorce was finalized. I wanted to see what it was like with someone else. If it would be… better.”
“I guess it wasn’t,” Samuel murmurs.
Bryan scoffs. “It wasn’t. It was fine in the moment.
But when it was over, I didn’t like myself.
I didn’t ever want to see her again. I thought about it for a long time afterward.
That she was attractive, and how good it should have been.
But it felt like we’d used each other. We could have been any two random bodies inserting tab A into slot B…
I don’t know how people have casual sex. ”
“I don’t like casual sex, either. I’ve done that. This is a big city and there are a lot of gay men who are happy to hookup, but no one wants a relationship. And if they do, they don’t want it the way I do.”
Bryan nods and starts the car.
“So, you’ve slept with two women, hated it, and now you’re celibate? And you’re going to give me advice? I think your head would explode if I talked about what I like in bed.”
Bryan frowns. How does he make Samuel feel comfortable confiding in him? “I spent a lot of money on lingerie for my wife. I liked to go and buy it. She didn’t seem to enjoy wearing it all that much, but I tried… I imagined her in it.”
Samuel doesn’t answer right away. “Okay. That’s pretty tame. I have lingerie,” Samuel says, unimpressed.
Bryan looks at him, and their eyes meet. What sort of lingerie does Samuel have? What does that mean? He thinks of lace panties, of sheer material and satin straps that frame a lush, pale bottom. He imagines Samuel bending over, offering himself, as if his ass is a present.
How would it fit in the front?
The car is suddenly too warm, and Bryan turns on the air conditioner. He shouldn’t ask what Samuel likes. That would be prurient interest and not helpful for the line Bryan is trying to walk.
And yet.
There is a vivid image in his mind of Samuel wearing lingerie, maybe silk or satin, something soft and breathable, because it would feel best on his well-used hole. That’s what Samuel fantasizes about. He’d mentioned it in the email. Things he wanted from their sexual encounter.
Another image, of Samuel putting a hand to his lingerie-clad bottom and pouting because Daddy used him so well and wants him again, crowds into his brain. He can’t quite imagine Samuel saying that word. He’d like to, though.