14. Naomi
FOURTEEN
Naomi
I had no idea that I would be this exhausted when Colten wheeled me out of the building. My legs burned, my back ached, and my head felt dizzy. I was not prepared for what it was going to take to return to normal life after having been in a chair for the past month.
I was not happy with how sticky I felt from the sweat or how my hair was springing up around my face like corkscrews.
It didn’t help that when Colten came back to help me into my chair, his eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline.
I looked like a mess, and I felt like a mess.
The only thing that was moderately going my way was the fact that the doctor removed my cast. He still told me to keep my weight off of my leg, but I was actually able to bend my knee, which felt amazing. Even if my muscles looked like Jell-O and my leg hair had grown an embarrassing amount.
It didn’t matter. Walker was going to see me tonight, and I was fairly certain I had enough time to get ready.
“I bet it feels nice,” Colten said as we were driving back over the bridge.
I furrowed my brow. Thankfully, my momentary lapse of judgment where I allowed myself to think he was attractive was gone. He was back to being my brother’s best friend and a moderate annoyance to me. That was a crazy rabbit hole I’d allowed myself to go down—but no more.
He was Crying Coltie, and that was all he was ever going to be.
“What?” I asked, pulling myself from my thoughts. I secretly hoped that he wasn’t trying to address what had happened when he hoisted me up to his chest.
He nodded toward my now bare leg. “Having your cast off.”
I glanced down. Thankfully, my skin was returning to normal. It had been wrinkled when they first took the cast off. Now, it just looked hairy and white. Even if he was Crying Coltie, I didn’t want him staring at it, so I tried to pull my skirt down around it.
“Yeah, it’s great,” I muttered.
Colten seemed satisfied with that answer. The car fell silent, and I returned my focus outside. The world whipped by as Colten picked up speed.
I couldn’t help but think about Walker. I wondered where he was. I’d checked my phone numerous times before Christopher, my physical therapist, demanded I give it to him. Walker hadn’t messaged again.
Was he really coming?
Could I trust him enough to believe that he would actually show up?
My stomach was in knots from all of my overthinking when Colten pulled up to Jackson’s house. I wished I was stronger so that I could just climb out of the car myself and head inside to get ready. Even though I was making strides to get better, I still had limitations. If I wanted to continue to get better, I was going to need to accept that.
So, I waited for Colten to get my chair from the trunk and help me into it. There was a moment there that I faltered, but thankfully, Colten was quick enough to catch me. He wrapped his arm around my back, and once again, I was airborne.
I held onto his shoulders, and he hoisted me into my chair—while I ignored the thrumming of my heart because of his closeness.
I really needed Walker to come back. It had been so long since a man had touched me that I was reacting to Colten. I was officially going crazy.
Once Colten wheeled me into the house, he shut the front door and turned to face me. “Anything I can help you with before I go?” he asked.
I glanced around. There was one thing…but I wasn’t sure I wanted to ask him to help me. But, if I wanted to see Walker, I needed to be showered.
“I need a shower,” I said slowly .
Colten paused, turning to stare down at me. His lips were parted, and he’d paled. I almost wanted to laugh at his response, but I needed to get a jump on getting ready. I had no idea when Walker would be here, and even though I could call Fiona to see if she could help me, it would take her time to get down here, and I had no idea if she was even available.
“I—um—” Colten cleared his throat.
“I don’t need you to bathe me. Just stick around in case I need your help.” I grabbed onto the rim of my wheels and started making my way to the bathroom. I paused when I realized that he wasn’t coming with me. “Relax, I don’t want you to see me naked any more than you want to see me naked.”
Instantly, my cheeks flushed. Which only embarrassed me more. Why did I have to say the word naked in front of Colten? And why did I react like this because of it?
I was going crazy.
This time, Colten followed after me. Either he didn’t want me to speak anymore—which I was okay with—or he just wanted to get this over with. Which I did too.
I had to wait as Colten started up the shower, so I grabbed my phone and texted Fiona. I asked if she’d be willing to come over to help me get ready. It wasn’t until Colten turned around and announced that the water was ready that she texted me back.
She said she could be here in two hours and asked if that worked for me. It wasn’t ideal, but if that was what she could give me, I’d take it .
Colten stood off to the side with his hands shoved into his pockets, looking like he didn’t belong. I shot Fiona a quick thumbs-up in response to her text and then set my phone down on the vanity. I turned to Colten, who was looking anywhere but at me.
“I think I can handle it from here,” I said.
He nodded, and at a speed I didn’t know he had, bolted from the room. Now alone, I slipped off my shirt and, with my best efforts at keeping weight off my leg, shimmied out of my shorts.
I praised Jackson for having Archer install handrails as I heaved my body into the shower. After I got situated on the seat, I relaxed as the warm water beat down on me. It felt amazing to wash my leg. The cast had begun to stink, and to clean that skin—to scratch it—felt amazing.
I took my time washing my hair and my body and shaving my legs. Being in the cast and in the wheelchair had stunted me in a way. I was stuck, and no matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t able to move forward. Sitting here, under the warm water and completely surrounded by the steam, I felt more like the old Naomi.
I felt like me.
Two knocks on the door startled me out of my thoughts. I had finished cleaning up and was just enjoying the feeling of sitting in a shower.
“Yeah?” I called out.
“Are you—” Colten’s voice drifted off, and I couldn’t make out what he was saying.
“What?” I asked .
“—you—”
I was behind the shower curtain, so I was protected, and I was tired of playing What Did He Say? so I leaned forward and shouted, “You can come in.”
He didn’t respond. I waited for him to speak again, and when he didn’t, I began to relax. Maybe he just figured out for himself that I was fine.
“Are you okay?”
I yelped and instinctually covered my lady bits. I whipped around to make sure he wasn’t peeking into the shower. Relief flooded my body as I focused on the shadow he cast from the other side of the curtain.
“I’m fine,” I said as I reached forward and turned off the shower. “Can you hand me a towel?”
I watched as Colten’s shadow hesitated but then left, returning with a rectangular shape. He paused and then said, “I’m going to close my eyes as I hand it to you.”
I nodded and focused on the shower curtain as he pulled it back. His hand appeared, clutching a green towel. I took it, my hand brushing his fingers and leaving a trail of water.
“Sorry,” I muttered as his hand snapped back.
“It’s okay.” His shadow reached forward and wiped his hand on the towel hanging from the wall.
I began to dry off, but I couldn’t seem to pull my attention from Colten. It was as if I were mesmerized by his shadow.
“I’m going to go,” he said. His voice had dropped an octave. Or at least, that was how it seemed. I watched him turn and start making his way toward the door.
“Actually—” I blurted out before I could decide what I was going to say. I normally had Jackson help me, and he just kept his eyes shut as he helped me into my chair.
Could I ask the same of Colten?
He paused, and I could see his focus turning back to me as his head moved in my direction. “What?” he asked.
“I need some help getting out,” I said softly.
The silence that followed was deafening. I studied Colten’s shadow, wondering if he was going to bolt. But he didn’t. I watched as he pushed his hand through his hair.
“What do you need me to do?”
I needed to keep my composure because there was no way I was going to be able to wait, wet, in the shower, for Fiona to come and rescue me. “I’m going to wrap the towel around me, and I just need you to lift me into my chair.”
Truth was, I was nervous about climbing out of the shower with my cast off. What if my foot slipped? The last thing I needed was to break my leg again and start this all over. I needed to move forward, not backwards.
“Okay.”
Taking in a deep breath, I shifted around in my seat until the towel was under me. Then I wrapped it around my chest and tucked it in so it wouldn’t fall down. “I’m ready,” I said, with all the strength I could muster.
“I’m opening the curtain,” Colten said, a moment later .
I wanted to tease him, asking him if he was going to narrate every step, but I decided against it. After all, this was not the time to do anything that could be construed as flirting.
I needed to get out of the shower and get ready for Walker. That was it.
“Okay.”
The curtain was pulled back and I was face-to-face with Colten. His eyes were squeezed shut, and he just stood there. I waited for him to move, and when he didn’t, I realized I was going to need to coach him.
He was much more hesitant than Jackson.
“Reach out your hands,” I said.
Colten obeyed.
I reached forward and grasped onto him. “I need you to help me up,” I said.
He paused. “How?”
“Wrap your arm around my waist so I can lean on you.”
His hand ran up my arm to my shoulder as if he were trying to figure out where I was. Then it dropped to my waist, and he wrapped his arm firmly around me until his fingers were pressed into my stomach and my body was sandwiched against his.
My heart was pounding now.
“I’m going to lift you up now,” he said, tipping his face toward me.
I was too startled to answer. So instead, I just nodded.
Colten tipped his head to the side. “Naomi? ”
Right. He couldn’t see me. “Okay,” I hurried to reply.
He nodded, and for the third time that day, I was airborne.
“My chair is about a foot to the left,” I said, and a moment later, Colten was setting me down on it. I adjusted my towel. “You can open your eyes now.”
Colten hesitated and then slowly opened his eyes. He looked flushed as his gaze ran over me. “You okay?” he asked.
I nodded, clutching the tucked in part of my towel. “I am.” Then I glanced around. “Wheel me to my room?”
Colten looked relieved that he had a job to do. He nodded and positioned himself behind my chair. We were quiet as he wheeled me to my room and pushed me over to my bed. Then he took a step back.
“Anything else?”
I glanced around. “Can you grab me my robe?” I asked, waving my hand toward the hook behind my door.
“Sure.” He crossed the room and brought it back to me. “Anything else?”
I needed some clothes from my closet, but I figured I could find a way to pull them off the hangers. In all honesty, I wanted him gone as much as he seemed to want to leave. I needed to focus on seeing Walker tonight, and Colten seemed agitated as he shifted his weight.
“I think that’s it.”
He furrowed his brow. “Are you sure?”
I nodded .
He blew out his breath as his shoulder relaxed. “I have to head to the department, so that’s probably good.”
“Oh,” I said with a nod.
He paused. “Are you sure you’re fine?”
Really? No. But my problems were for me alone. There was no way I wanted to bother Colten with my issues. “I’m fine. Fiona will be here in the next hour or so. I can take care of myself until then.”
Colten hesitated for a moment and then nodded. “Call me if you need anything. I can be out here in a flash.”
I grabbed my robe and pushed my arm through it. “I know,” I said as I situated it around my shoulders. Once he left, I’d discard the towel and wrap my satin robe around my body. I just couldn’t do it while he was staring at me.
Colten made his way to the door. Just as he stepped out into the hallway, he turned back around, his gaze falling on me. “I’m happy you’re healing,” he said. His voice was low with meaning, and there was a tenderness in his gaze.
The way he looked at me caused butterflies to dance around my stomach. I swallowed, hating that I was reacting this way. In an effort to keep it to myself, I nodded. “Thanks.”
He gave me one last nod and shut the door behind him.
Silence fell around me, and I blew out my breath as I collapsed against the back of my chair. I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. Whatever was going on between Colten and me was confusing .
I wanted it to stop. I loved Walker. I was pregnant with Walker’s child. We were going to start a family together.
I was awful for allowing these strange feelings for Colten to crop up.
“It’s because you’re lonely,” I muttered as I pushed myself up and slipped the towel off, wrapping my robe around me. “That’s all. Once you see Walker, you’ll be fine.”
I wheeled over to the small vanity that Fiona had found for me, which sat in the corner of the room, and stared at my reflection.
I was going to be fine.
I was.
Right?