27. What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? #2
“I do love you, Henry,” he said. “I know I don’t have a lot of experiences to compare this feeling to, but I swear I do.”
“I believe you,” I said, sniffling. “I love you, too, Aidan.”
“You do?” he asked. “Are you sure? You weren’t completely wrong with what you said outside Alexa’s. I don’t have a family or a job or exes or a house or a past…”
“So what? You’re not perfect. None of us are.
But I believe you’re perfect for me, ” I said, fully understanding the difference.
“Not having a past just means you live wholly in the present. You’ve reminded me not to dwell on what’s happened before when the now is so lovely.
Your learning about the world reminded me how much beauty there is still to discover.
That’s scary. Loving you is scary, but I do. ”
Aidan shut his mouth before he spoke again, leaned back and stared toward the window, out into the night.
A thought creased his brow. “I don’t know what will happen at midnight.
I’m also scared. I’m scared to not have a future.
I’m scared to have one, too. Of all the things I’d want to do and places I’d want to explore with it. ”
I nodded. I’d had a feeling this was coming.
Now that I was free of Isla’s Attic, I was also facing down the frightening expanse of possibility. But I couldn’t say that quite yet, even though I knew in my heart that if he made it past midnight, I had to.
“Look, I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, or a week from now, or in seven years in the future, either, but I’m not going to let that stop me from saying how I feel now and doing what I want anymore,” I said, a newfound love of life swelling through me like a fast-rising tide.
“We have tonight. Let’s love each other tonight, Aidan. ”
He firmly grabbed my hand.
We kissed, then. We kissed a lot. We kissed until I crawled into bed beside him, careful of his IV hookup, and we pressed in close. It felt good to touch him again. His paper gown crinkled down, down, down, until he was exposed for me. I trailed my lips up and around him. I loved him all over.
Sometime before midnight—both of us clean and dressed—the kindly nurse with the braids came in along with Great Aunt Isla and told us there was a view of the ocean from a waiting area on an upper floor.
If we were interested, since Aidan was doing so well, she could grab him a wheelchair and we could go up and enjoy the fireworks that would soon be exploding over the beach.
Ten minutes later, we joined a throng of the ill and the healthy, the young and the old, each person wearing open, expectant expressions on their faces.
Noisemakers and plastic glasses that said 2026 with the eyeholes in the 0 and the 6 got passed out.
In the background, Ryan Seacrest beamed in from Times Square in New York City where some pop star or another was crooning her greatest hits in nothing but a sparkly bodysuit despite the low temperature.
We all faced out, waiting for a spectacle to signal the New Year.
How much time did some of these people have? How far would they make it into 2026? Would they celebrate another birthday, attend another wedding, or would their funeral be the next event on their loved ones’ calendars? Would they leave this life with regrets, pains, unfulfilled wishes?
The countdown began. Aidan tensed beside me.
I locked eyes with Great Aunt Isla. Should we hide him in a storage closet? How would we explain if he replasticized right here in front of all these people?
I lost track of the chanted numbers somewhere around four because Aidan, uncaring of what might happen, pulled me down by the wrist and into his lap. On the one, he pressed his lips to mine. Hope for a future together sparked in our heavy breath.
Bang! Was that in my chest or somewhere far-off in the sky?
Aidan’s lips remained warm, pliable. His heartbeat steadily thrummed against the palm of my hand, which rested near the base of his throat. We’d been worried for nothing. He wore a satisfied smile on his face when I pulled back. Life was suddenly a winding red carpet rolled out in front of him.
Love was enough to keep him human. Of course it was. But was it enough to—
Bang. Bang. Bang. A brisk upsurge of fireworks ensued beyond the glass out over the water, which drew my attention away from my thoughts for a second.
On the horizon, purple and yellow and red erupted against the black night.
Fireworks particles masqueraded as stars until they fizzled to nothing.
I caught sight of my own shaky hand in the reflection of the glass.
I’d nearly forgotten about the bands of green staining my fingers, the concerning marks left behind by Aidan’s off-brand gift.
If nothing gold could stay, nothing gold ish could stay, either.
“You can’t stay in Ocean Glen,” I said to Aidan under the chatter of the crowd around us. My voice broke a little.
Confusion clouded his expression. “What? Of course I can. This is where I live. With you. Where else would I go?”
“Anywhere,” I said. “The world is your oyster.”
“My oyster ?” His lips curled.
I smiled patiently at him. “You said it yourself, there’s so much more out there to experience. You completed step six. You— we —found love. But what about step five? What about finding your purpose?”
“I thought you said that list was too simplistic.”
“I was wrong,” I told him.
He held me tighter, hope and fear sparring in his blue eyes. “Will you come with me to find my purpose?”
I shook my head and ignored my reservations. This must’ve been what Great Aunt Isla felt like when she told me she was setting me free. Now, she stood close by but had the decency to pretend she wasn’t listening. “This one you’ll have to do alone. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
He grew silent for a second, then understanding flashed across his face. “I know,” he said, fresh tears springing up into his eyes as the fireworks built to their inevitable finale. “I know because I love you .”