Chapter Twenty-Two
‘Can I come in?’ Leo knocked gently on the door to Florence’s bedchamber.
He’d respected her wishes by not following her out of the drawing room, staying to say an awkward goodbye to the Vaughans instead, but after a couple of hours spent pacing his study, he hadn’t been able to restrain himself any longer.
After everything they’d learned that afternoon, he knew she must be in shock and he needed to comfort her.
And, when he’d done that, he needed to apologise.
The longer Amabel had spoken, the more he’d become aware of a heavy, guilty feeling building in his chest. Because Florence had been innocent.
Every time she’d told him that the circumstances of their marriage weren’t what he thought, that she hadn’t set out to trap him, that she wasn’t a fortune hunter, she’d been telling the truth. And he’d dismissed her.
‘Florence?’ He tapped again when there was no answer, then twisted the handle, but the room was empty.
Muttering an oath, he turned around and went back down the corridor, trying to remember what exactly she’d said when she’d left the drawing room. Definitely something about going to her bedroom. So where was she?
He ran down the staircase, charging through each reception room in turn.
Damn it, why did he have so many rooms? And why hadn’t he gone to check on her sooner?
If she’d sneaked out of the house again, in a distressed frame of mind…
It wasn’t stormy today, but what if she’d had another accident?
His heart stalled at the thought. He had to go after her…
Except apparently he didn’t have to. He came to an abrupt halt as he strode back into the hall. There she was, coming through the front door at this very moment, looking utterly calm and composed, as though she’d simply stepped out for a breath of fresh air.
‘Florence.’ He hurried to greet her. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes.’ She didn’t look at him.
‘I thought you were in your bedroom?’
‘I changed my mind. Where’s Amabel?’
‘She and Major Vaughan left, but they’re staying at the inn in the village for a couple of nights. I offered them a room, but they thought it best to give you some time.’ He put his hands on her shoulders. ‘How are you feeling?’
She blinked, as if the question puzzled her, before taking a step backwards, so that his hands fell away again. ‘About as good as you might expect. We need to talk.’
He frowned, taken aback by the coolness of her tone, following as she led the way into his study. ‘Where did you go? I was worried.’
‘Were you?’ She walked straight past the chaise longue, going to stand beside his desk.
‘Of course.’
‘It’s not such a strange question. A month ago when I was really in trouble it took two hours for anyone to even notice I was gone. You weren’t so worried then.’
‘I wasn’t here. I told you that.’
‘But were you worried when you heard what had happened? Or did some part of you feel disappointed that I was found at all?’
‘No!’ He staggered as though she’d just struck him. ‘I’ve never wanted anything bad to happen to you, Florence.’
She narrowed her eyes, studying him intently for a few seconds. ‘Maybe not, but I doubt you were too bothered either way.’
‘You’re upset. It’s understandable, given what Amabel just told us, but, Florence, we’re in the same boat. We were both tricked into this marriage.’
‘The same boat?’ She gave a disparaging laugh. ‘Oh, no. We may be on the same ocean, but our boats are completely different! You were tricked. I was tricked and then blamed for it.’ She pointed a finger at him. ‘And you never even gave me the benefit of the doubt!’
‘You’re right.’ He bowed his head as he walked towards her. ‘I completely misjudged you, but only because all of the evidence pointed in your direction. There was no other explanation.’
‘What about my evidence? I told you at the time I was innocent, but you wouldn’t listen.
It never even occurred to you that I was telling the truth.
You believed Amabel because she was one of you, one of the ton!
’ She seemed to hurl as much contempt as she could muster into the word. ‘Whereas I was just a nobody.’
‘I never said that.’ He clenched his jaw. ‘You were never a nobody.’
‘But you assumed I was a fortune hunter! Because what woman wouldn’t have seized a chance to marry the great and dignified Marquess of Rainton?’
‘Florence—’
‘That’s what you thought, wasn’t it? That any woman would be honoured to marry you.’ She pushed her face closer to his. ‘How does it feel to know that Amabel went to such extreme lengths just to escape your proposal?’
‘She was in love with somebody else.’
‘Because obviously there had to be a reason. It couldn’t simply have been that she didn’t like you.’
He stiffened. ‘You’re upset.’
‘Yes, I’m upset.’ Her eyes flashed. ‘Because I remember.’
‘Your memory…?’ He felt very cold suddenly.
She nodded jerkily. ‘It all came back to me while Amabel was talking. The ball, our wedding, our life here.’ Her voice wavered. ‘Most of all, I remember how you treated me.’
‘That’s…’ He pushed a hand through his hair. ‘Florence, I’m so sorry.’
‘I believe you.’ She looked at him and then away again, her profile hardening.
‘You’re sorry now, but you weren’t then.
You were cold and disdainful and so completely sure you were right.
You walked away from me every time I tried to speak with you.
You punished me for a crime I would never have even dreamed of committing and then, to compound it, you made me believe I was guilty too.
You convinced me that I was a terrible person.
’ She sniffed. ‘I could forgive you for everything else, but not that.’
He flinched. It was true, every word. His behaviour had been horrible. He’d been just like his father, heartless and dictatorial and remote. ‘If I could go back—’
‘But you can’t! And wishing for it won’t fix anything.
’ She swung back towards him, her expression fierce again.
‘Do you know what the worst part is? That I was grateful to you for forgiving me. Grateful!’ She clenched her fists.
‘But I’m not just angry at you. I’m angry at myself as well, for not trusting myself when I knew, deep down, I would never have done something so awful.
’ She lifted her chin. ‘But I know who I am again now and I’m not the one who should be feeling ashamed.
You are. Because I know that if our roles had been reversed, I would have listened to you.
I would have given you a chance.’ She rocked back on her heels, swaying away from him.
‘I detested you! That’s why I was out in the woods that day.
Because I never wanted any of this and I thought I might freeze to death here! ’
He felt a heavy thud in his chest. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean that on the day of my accident I was running away. Leaving you. I couldn’t even wait for the news of Amabel’s wedding so I could tell you the truth about what happened at the ball.
I couldn’t see how it would make any difference, so I was going back to Cumberland.
Then I thought you’d be able to get an annulment for desertion and it would be the best thing for both of us. ’
‘I see.’ He swallowed hard. All this time, he’d simply assumed she’d been out riding. It had never for one moment occurred to him that she might have been leaving him. Because he was just as arrogant as she’d said… ‘And now?’ Somehow he kept his voice even. ‘Is that what you still want?’
‘I want the Leo I’ve known for the past two weeks.
’ Some of the fire in her eyes faded. ‘But when I look at you now, all I can see is the man who turned his back on me. And I can’t bear to be anywhere near him.
I almost died because of him.’ Her eyes glittered, pinning him to the spot.
‘Do you understand that? How horrible the atmosphere was here? How much it hurt?’
‘Yes.’ He nodded. ‘I do. I grew up in it and it’s not what I want either, but I can fix this. Just tell me what to do to prove how sorry I am. Ask me anything and I’ll do it.’
‘It’s too late.’
‘It can’t be.’ He felt a surge of panic. ‘The Florence I know doesn’t give up. Please.’ He moved closer, lowering his lips until they were within a hair’s breadth of hers. ‘I love you. Give me one more chance.’
He heard her sharp intake of breath. ‘You love me?’
‘Yes.’
He clutched desperately at her waist. It was true. The moment Amabel had told them the truth, the last defences around his heart had fallen away. He was in love with his wife, more deeply than he’d ever imagined possible.
‘We can get past this.’ He pulled her closer. ‘I’ve changed. I’m not who I was before. You’ve made me a better person.’
‘Maybe I have, but you made me believe I was a worse one.’
‘I’ll make it up to you.’
She looked up into his face, her own stricken. ‘Even if you can, even if you have changed, how could I ever be certain you won’t change back?’
‘Because I won’t turn into my father, I promise.’
‘Won’t you?’ She twisted her face towards the letter still sitting on his desk.
‘I know your behaviour wasn’t entirely your fault.
It was because of the way he raised you.
But, Leo, I’ve known you for two months.
He had twenty-four years. How do I know that one day you won’t look at those “instructions” and think he was right, after all? ’
‘Florence…’
‘You know, I think I loved you too.’ She lifted a hand to his face, smoothing the backs of her fingers across his cheekbone before pulling them away again.
‘When I thought I knew who you were, but now… I can’t tell any more.
Maybe I love and hate you at the same time.
All I know is that now I’ve remembered, I can’t make myself forget, and I’m not certain if I can forgive.
’ She pulled away from him. ‘That’s why I have to leave. I need some time to think.’
‘How long?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Will you come back?’