Chapter Twenty-Two #2
‘I don’t know that either.’ She lifted a shoulder. ‘I think I need to wait until I’m not so angry any more and then decide.’
‘Wait.’ He caught at her wrist as she turned to go. ‘I’m your husband. I could order you to stay.’
‘You could,’ she agreed, gently extricating herself before continuing towards the door, ‘but that would only prove that you’re like your father. I’ll leave first thing in the morning.’
And then she walked out, leaving emptiness behind.
It was surprising how much fondness she still felt for the place, Florence thought, looking over her shoulder at the massive structure of Rainton Court.
Now that her memory had returned, she remembered how it had felt during those first few weeks of her marriage, like a great stone prison, but now it saddened her to think she might never come back.
Then again, maybe it was possible to hold two opposing ideas in the mind at the same time and find a way to reconcile them into something positive.
With places anyway. People were more complicated.
‘I’m going to miss you, my lady.’ Jane came to join her as two footmen staggered past, hauling a large trunk between them.
‘I’ll miss you too.’ Florence reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly for a couple of seconds. ‘I don’t know how I would have managed here without you. I’m just sorry that you won’t get to be a lady’s maid any more.’
‘Don’t worry about that. They’ll find me something to do, I’m sure.’ Jane looked down at the carriage. ‘Are you certain you don’t need me to travel with you?’
‘I have four grooms. I’ll be quite safe, don’t worry.’
‘Safe, yes, but bored out of your mind too, most likely.’
‘Perhaps.’ She smiled sadly. Truth be told, she was looking forward to having some time alone to think about nothing.
Her mind had been whirling ever since the moment Rimmer had woken her with news of Amabel’s arrival.
Now all she wanted to do was lean back, close her eyes and not think.
Hopefully she’d manage to doze too, after getting next to no sleep the previous night.
She and Leo had gone to bed in their own separate bedrooms, but knowing he was so close had done nothing to ease her inner turmoil.
‘Safe travels, my lady.’ Jane stepped away, scurrying off as Leo emerged from the house and walked towards them.
‘Florence.’ He looked as perfectly groomed as ever, though his face was drawn, as though he hadn’t slept either.
‘Leo.’ She pulled her shoulders back, wondering if he’d come to forbid her from leaving after all. If he did, it would truly mean the end for them.
‘Rimmer told me the carriage was being brought round.’ A muscle ticked in his jaw as he spoke. ‘Is there anything else you require for the journey?’
She shook her head, feeling relieved and a little disappointed at the same time. ‘No, thank you. Mrs Hotham prepared me a basket.’
‘Good.’ He turned his face to one side, his expression so pained that, for a moment, her heart stuttered and she almost relented.
‘Might I write?’ he asked, twisting back again suddenly.
She hesitated only briefly before nodding. ‘Of course.’
‘Thank you. I can let you know how the herd is getting on.’
‘I’d like that.’
‘And perhaps you could…’ his voice faltered ‘…if you want to, that is.’
‘Yes.’
She clamped her lips together, not knowing what else to say. They were being so polite, she thought, as if she was only leaving for a couple of days, while the memory of everything they’d said yesterday hung heavy in the air between them.
‘Florence,’ he cleared his throat finally, ‘I know it’s too late, but for what it’s worth, I truly am sorry for the way I behaved.
Of all people, I should have known how hurtful it was.
At the very least, I should have listened to you.
’ He stepped forward to open the carriage door.
‘That’s all I wanted to say. I hope your journey is uneventful. ’
‘Thank you.’ She paused as she climbed in, her throat stinging as she leaned back to lay a hand softly on his shoulder. ‘Goodbye, Leo.’
‘Goodbye, Florence.’
Slowly, she pulled her fingers away, keeping her gaze averted as he closed the door behind her.
‘I won’t be long,’ Florence called up to the driver as she stepped down from the carriage outside the village inn.
Ironically, it was the one where she’d intended to catch the stagecoach to London when she’d run away.
Now she was leaving openly, but she still had some unfinished business to attend to.
‘Florence!’ Amabel came racing across her private sitting room when she walked in. ‘I’m so glad you came! James has gone for a walk, so it’s only the two of us.’
‘Good.’ She put her hands out before Amabel could embrace her. ‘I’ve come to say goodbye. I’m on my way north, back to Cumberland.’
‘You’re going home?’ Amabel looked startled. ‘Because of what I told you?’
‘In part.’ She moved across to the window, looking back in the direction she’d come from. She couldn’t see the house from here, but she still felt a tug towards it. ‘And because my memory returned yesterday. It made me see my marriage in a different light.’
‘Oh.’ Amabel’s voice had a quaver in it. ‘Florence—’
‘You don’t need to apologise again. What you did was…hurtful, and I can’t pretend that I’m not upset, but I also appreciate the fact that you came straight back from Ireland when you heard about my accident.’
‘I still wish—’
‘So do I.’ She turned around, cutting the words off. ‘And I hope that some day we can put it behind us and be the way we used to be, but not yet.’
‘I understand.’ Amabel bowed her head.
‘I wanted to give you these too.’ Florence reached into her cloak and pulled out the bundle of letters she’d found in her saddlebag.
‘Oh!’ Amabel seized hold of them gratefully. ‘Thank you. I know it probably seems ridiculous, but they mean so much to me.’
‘How did you ever receive them?’
‘One of the maids at Grosvenor Square was susceptible to bribery.’ Amabel lifted a shoulder. ‘She’s the one who let me in to see you after the ball.’
‘I see.’ Florence managed a small smile. ‘And they’re not ridiculous. I read a few of them when I didn’t know who they were from and they show how much you and Major Vaughan love each other. I suppose that’s why I can understand what you did… You wanted to be with the man you loved.’
‘Yes.’ Amabel blinked a few times, as if she was trying not to cry again. ‘What about you and the marquess? Is your marriage so terrible? Is he as bad as he seemed?’
‘No.’ She shook her head quickly. ‘He’s not bad at all. We actually came to care for each other, but I need to think and I can’t do it here.’
‘And he’s just letting you go?’ Amabel sounded surprised.
‘Yes.’
‘Then he really isn’t the man I thought he was. He told my father he wanted an heir as soon as possible. I think if he could, he would have added it to the marriage contract: an heir nine months after the wedding night.’
‘That sounds about right.’ Florence’s lips twisted. ‘It’s on his list of instructions.’
‘His what?’
‘Nothing.’ She took a deep breath and then held a hand out. ‘In any case, I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye and good luck.’
‘Thank you.’ Amabel clutched at her fingers. ‘Florence…please say you don’t hate me.’
‘I don’t hate you.’ She pursed her brow, as it occurred to her that maybe Amabel was just as much a victim of her parents as Leo was of his father.
They’d both been raised with such high expectations, maybe it wasn’t their fault they’d both behaved badly because of it.
‘Now I’d better go.’ She turned for the door.
‘Just be happy with your major, Amabel. Then, whatever else happens, all of this will have been worthwhile.’