Chapter Twenty-Three
Three weeks, five days, six hours and…Leo glanced at the clock on the mantel…twelve minutes.
He dropped his pen onto his desk and rubbed a hand over his face.
Apparently there was no point even trying to do his accounts today, since he’d been staring at the same page for approximately forty minutes now.
He wasn’t entirely sure why he’d bothered.
He’d done the same thing yesterday, and the day before.
Thank goodness his enthusiastic new steward, Macauley, had settled in so well or the estate would be in a complete mess by now.
Slowly he pushed himself to his feet and walked across to the window. The day was grey and overcast, just as it had been for the past three weeks. Or had it? He frowned. Maybe it had only seemed that way.
Things actually hadn’t been so bad to begin with.
In an attempt to distract himself from missing Florence, he’d launched into several new projects, but gradually his spirits had sunk so low it was an effort to get out of bed every morning.
His carriage had returned, with confirmation that she’d reached her parents’ house safely, but there had been no word, no letter, no sign that she was ever coming back.
He’d written her letters, thirteen in total, all of which he’d deposited in the fireplace, since they were either dry reports about cattle behaviour or passionate pleas for forgiveness, neither of which were quite what he wished to convey.
Surely there had to be some romantic middle ground between cows and begging?
If he could only find the words, the right words…
maybe he could truly convince her he’d changed?
He looked around at the sound of a commotion in the hall.
He could hear the sound of voices, along with doors opening and closing, and running footsteps.
His heart lifted, right up until his study door opened and two boys came charging into the room, closely followed by his sister, carrying a toddler in her arms.
‘Patrick! Anthony!’ Cassie’s face was flushed. ‘Oh, for pity’s sake, I know you’ve been cooped up in a carriage for three days, but stop running around like you’re in the park. Put. That. Figurine. Down!’
‘Cassie.’ Leo lifted his brows. ‘This is a surprise.’
‘I should imagine that’s an understatement.’ George was the last to appear. ‘We’ve come to visit, by the way. I apologise in advance.’
‘Nonsense.’ Cassie approached his desk. ‘Leo’s invited us plenty of times.’
‘Under the mistaken belief that we’d never come, no doubt.’ George grasped a juvenile collar in each hand and hauled his sons back to the door. ‘I’ll take these two outside for a while. Hopefully they’ll wear themselves out.’
‘Thank you, darling.’ Cassie blew him a kiss. ‘And for goodness’ sake, don’t let anyone give them cake. The last thing they need is sugar.’
‘I’m well aware.’
‘But if there is cake, I’m feeling rather peckish myself!’
‘I can ring for cake.’ Leo smiled, coming to kiss first her cheek, then the top of the toddler’s head. ‘To what do I owe the honour? I thought you hated travelling anywhere, especially here.’
‘I do, which just shows you how devoted a sister I am. Oh, Rimmer?’ Cassie called over her shoulder.
‘Yes, my lady?’ The butler’s head appeared around the door.
‘Please tell Mrs Fitch that I need a room preparing as soon as possible. My head is ringing from being cooped up with those boys.’
‘I think you mean Mrs Chenoweth, my lady?’
‘Do I? What happened to Fitch?’
‘She’s enjoying a well-deserved retirement.’ Leo grinned. ‘Sewell too.’
‘Well, good gracious.’ Cassie looked thunderstruck. ‘If I weren’t here on such important business, I might swoon.’
‘Business?’ Leo propped himself on the edge of his desk.
‘Yes. And don’t pretend that you don’t know what it is.’ Cassie deposited the toddler on the floor. ‘What really irks me is that I had to hear it from somebody else. Why didn’t you write?’
‘About what exactly?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. Maybe about your wife leaving you?’
He winced. ‘That’s not exactly true. She needed some time away to think, that’s all.’ He narrowed his eyes. ‘Although I’m curious about how you know any of this.’
‘I make it my business to know things.’ Cassie pursed her lips as she drew off her gloves. ‘I heard it from Lady Fox, who visited the Parkers on their estate last month.’
‘Ah.’ The Parkers’ estate was twelve miles away. Gossip clearly travelled between the two houses.
‘Of course, they didn’t say that Florence had left you. They simply said that she was away for a while, but I guessed the rest. So…’ she braced her hands on her hips ‘…what is going on?’
He sighed. ‘Very well, if you must know, it turns out you were right and that she didn’t trap me into marriage, after all. Her friend Miss Wadlow was behind the whole thing.’
Cassie’s eyebrows rose. ‘The one you intended to propose to?’
‘Yes. Florence was as much a victim of her deception as I was.’ He spread his hands out. ‘So go ahead and say you told me so.’
‘Oh, Leo.’ Cassie came to sit on the desk beside him. ‘I may be tactless, but I’m not entirely heartless.’
‘I know.’ He nudged her shoulder. ‘Then Florence’s memory came back and she remembered how unpleasant I’d been to her and…well, apparently it made it somewhat difficult to stay with me. She said she couldn’t forget how bad I’d made her feel.’
‘Oh, dear.’
He rubbed a hand over his face. ‘I acted just like him.’
‘Ah.’ She didn’t ask who he meant.
‘So maybe I deserved to be left.’ He winced at the thought that had been crushing his spirit for the past few weeks.
‘Maybe I’m already too much like him and she’s better off with her family, where I can’t hurt her again.
Maybe we’re better off apart. Maybe if I really love her, I should just let her go. ’
‘Nonsense.’ Cassie tipped her head against his. ‘This is all my fault. I should never have gone to London and left you alone with him all those years ago.’
‘It wasn’t your job to take care of me.’
‘But you had no one else to love! No one to show you that you were worthy of love too. But you are. Do you think I would have come here if you weren’t? You know how much I loathe this house.’ She lifted her head again. ‘Do you truly love Florence?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you think there’s a chance that she loves you?’
‘She said she thought she did before, so…’ he grimaced ‘…maybe.’
‘Well, if you do and so does she then neither of you is better off apart! How long has she been gone?’
‘Almost a month.’
‘Then maybe it’s time to go after her?’
‘I can’t.’ He clenched his jaw. ‘She said that she needed some time to think and I have to respect that.’
‘Mmm… As pleased as I am to know you’re not a domestic tyrant, there are times when a woman needs a gesture.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, you’ve given her time. Maybe now you should show her how you feel.’
‘How? I told her I’d changed, but she said she couldn’t trust me not to change back.’
‘So find some way to prove that you won’t.’
‘It’s not quite so easy, not when she’s in Cumberland and I’m…’ He stopped talking abruptly.
‘Leo?’
‘Maybe I can prove it.’ He turned around slowly, reaching for the letter on his desk.
‘Urgh, is that what I think it is?’ Cassie gave a shudder as he opened it up. ‘You know he sent me one of those too.’
‘What did you do with it?’
‘Well, I wanted to throw it into the fire, but…it was too hard. So I gave it to George. I’ve no idea what he did with it.’
‘He gave it to me on his deathbed. It felt like a set of orders.’
‘He had no right to dictate to you.’
‘I know.’ He stared at his father’s signature for a long moment and then tore the letter through the middle.
‘Oh, well done.’ Cassie put a hand on his shoulder. ‘That was worth coming two hundred miles for. Now do it again. Tear it to shreds!’
‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘I need it like this.’
‘Why?’
‘Because you’re right, I need to make a gesture. Florence needs to know that I’ve changed and this is my proof.’
‘You mean, you’re going to Cumberland?’
‘Yes.’ He felt his muscles coil in readiness for the journey ahead. Maybe he was already a bad son, but he could still be a good husband. A good marquess too, only he’d do it his way from now on. ‘Will you be very offended if I leave you to fend for yourselves?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ Cassie clapped her hands delightedly. ‘I was rather hoping you would.’
Florence sucked in a deep breath, filling her lungs with air as she stood on top of the hill that marked the northern limit of her parents’ land, on a boulder that might once have been part of the ancient Roman wall, gazing out over mile upon mile of verdant farmland and forest, towards the lowlands of Scotland.
This was exactly what she’d needed. This hill, this view, this sense of isolation and peace, even this boulder; these were the things she’d missed so terribly during those first miserable weeks of her marriage.
Coming back had been good for her, a balm for her soul as well as her bruised heart, although, ironically, now she was here she found herself missing the rolling pastures and jagged coastline of Dorset instead, as if she was torn between two places at once.
She also wished that she’d worn more than a woollen spencer over her dress because the wind was a great deal stronger than she’d anticipated, with a biting edge that meant she probably ought to leave soon or she’d catch a chill.
Autumn was definitely in the air. In a few short weeks, the green landscape would have faded entirely to muted brown, but for just a little while longer she wanted to stand here and breathe it all in.