Three #3
“You don’t know where I live,” I teased him, trying to steady my pounding heart. The familiar response to Sam Kage flared through me.
“No, baby.” He exhaled. “You’re coming home with me.”
“Sam—”
“J—”
“I’m not your baby.” I brushed his hand away. “I’m nobody’s—”
“You belong to me,” he said flatly. “Always have, always will. Deal with it.”
I was silent.
“Speak. You look like you’ve got—”
“Listen,” I began patiently, turning to him. “You left me. You left, period, and I haven’t heard from you in three years. And it’s fine, because I understand why you did what you did, but make no mistake, I will never ever step back into that shit with you again. I am done with you.”
“Is that right?”
“Yeah, that’s right. It took a long time to heal, physically, mentally, emotionally, all of it. And I know to you that’s probably nothing and––”
“How can you say that?” His voice cracked. “I know what you––”
“But you don’t,” I assured him. “You can’t because you weren’t here.”
He took a breath. “Tell me then.”
I shook my head.
We were both quiet, and it lasted so long I was about to suggest we get the check.
“Then tell me about the scar on your back,” he said hoarsely. “Do you tell people you sleep with how you got it?”
I stared at him. That was pretty smart. A physical thing, what had happened to me, the cause and effect, was easier to talk about than feelings. And he could learn a lot about what I shared with others from my answer. “Actually, there’s no scar from when I took a bullet for you,” I told him.
“For you is a nice dig, J.”
I shrugged. “Not a dig, just the truth.”
He shook his head. “Yes, true. But how?”
“How what?”
“How is there no scar?”
“Ah. Well see, I have this brother,” I began playfully, and Sam sighed and gave me a relived smile.
I had steered us back toward shore, and I could tell from the fall of his shoulders that he appreciated that.
And I was feeling better too, back on solid ground.
I had been way out in open water for a moment but now, I could feel the sand back under my feet.
“And he called a plastic surgeon he knows and voilà—no scar.”
He nodded. “Dane to the rescue.”
“It’s how he is. You know that.”
“Yeah. You can always count on him.”
“The only one,” I said flatly.
“He’s not though.”
“All the evidence says different.”
He couldn’t argue with that.
“You don’t get to decide my life for me, Sam.”
“I know that,” he rushed out, and I got the feeling, from the gentleness in his voice and the softness in his eyes, that maybe he too needed to get his bearings.
He’d come on strong, realized that wasn’t going to work, and was adjusting.
I was both surprised and pleased. “Let’s just eat and talk, all right? ”
I was stunned, and it probably showed on my face.
He was being so reasonable, and it was a nice change.
And of course, because I was me, I was a bit disappointed that he wasn’t going to fight with me, or for me.
But honestly, in the real world where I’d been since he left me, it was for the best. Did it still sting?
Yes. But I had changed, and I was certain, so had he.
Best to put all my cards on the table and tell him how it was going to be.
What was really nice was that he made the conversation I was used to providing.
He told me what it had been like to come home to his old life after two years away.
He’d had friends to reconnect with and a job to relearn, and all that had taken time.
He’d wanted to focus on all his external priorities before he came for me.
Make everything perfect professionally and then show up on my doorstep.
“I’m sorry, what?” My thoughts had been drifting, I’d been floating along on our new understanding, but I had caught the last part.
“You heard me, J.”
“Wait You’re actually sitting there telling me that you want us to get back together?”
“Yep. I told you what I wanted before we sat down.”
“But I explained that could never happen.”
“You sure did.”
“And what?”
“And I heard you. I heard every word.”
“But?”
“But I don’t accept that. Not at all.”
“Just a second ago you said that… I thought you were letting this go?”
“When did I say that?”
“But—”
“I wanted to wait to see you until I had my life back. Now I do, so here I am.”
I squinted at him. “Life doesn’t wait until you’re ready, Sam. You—”
“Are you done?”
“No, I’m not done. You think you can just—”
“With your food, love.”
“Oh…yeah.” I deflated, reaching into my jacket for my wallet.
“I invited you. I’ll buy.” He smiled at me.
“No, I said I would. I’m not a charity—”
“Anything to fight with me,” he teased, leaning in to kiss the side of my neck.
I tried to slide away from him, but his hand under the table, like a vise on my thigh, kept me where I was. His lips on my skin were scalding. When my eyes flicked to his, he smiled lazily. It was very sexy.
“Three years look good on you, J.”
To keep from responding to him, I tried to provoke him. “You don’t want me, Sam. You’re just like all those other guys that just wanna get laid.”
“Is that all I want?”
“Yes.”
“Huh.”
I shrugged.
“It’s lucky you’re pretty, because you’re not real bright.”
I stood up, pulled two twenties out, and dropped them on the table. “I’ll see ya.”
He coughed, and I looked at him. The smile had fallen out of his eyes.
“I can get home my—”
His voice was low and flat. “So you know, if you try one of your usual dramatic exits, I will grab you, throw you over my shoulder, and take you right outta here.”
I just stared at him.
“If you don’t want to be the floor show that they’ll be talking about for years, I suggest you stand there and wait for me and walk out of here like a grown-up.”
I crossed my arms and waited.
He smiled up at me. “You’re cute when you pout.”
I glared at him, and his snort of laughter almost made me smile back.
Outside the front door I realized I was faced with his newest monster car, another SUV from hell.
“Okay,” I sighed, shoving my hands into my pockets. “So, it was good to see you.”
His scowl could not have been any darker. “I was serious inside. I wanna take you home.”
I shrugged. “Well, I was serious too, so…no.”
We stood there staring at each other, and when he finally took a step toward me, I took one back.
“I can make you if I want.”
“Sure,” I agreed, “but I know you better than that.”
The muscles in his jaw corded tight. “Can I just say something before you walk away?”
I stared into the smoky-blue eyes, and he stepped closer, his hand rising, going to my chest, and settling over my heart.
“I want you, only you, and not just for tonight.”
I was silent.
“Did you hear me?” he asked, his hand sliding around behind my neck as he stepped in against me, staring down into my eyes. “I want you.”
“But—”
“I did what I said I would. I made sure you were safe and then I came back. I figured out what I can do, what I can’t, and it took a while longer than I thought.”
“Sam, you—”
“But now I’m done. I’ve got everything I want except the most important part. For the record, that’s you.”
“But you’ve been back, Sam, and you never came to—”
“I came as soon as I possibly could.”
“Bullshit.” I tried to step back, but even though I was bigger than I used to be, more muscular, I was still no match for his strength. His grip was like steel, and he had me.
“I did. Everything had to be settled, and now it is.”
I shook my head and tried to pull back again.
“My life had to be completely ready for you to step back into.”
“No.”
“And I’m lucky ’cause that guy Aaron pushed too fast too hard and you ran.”
My head snapped up. “No, that was just because it was—”
“Don’t say it was too soon, J. We both know you’ve got no problem with too soon when you know something’s right. You didn’t love him, so you didn’t move in. Simple as that.”
I just stared up into his eyes.
“You know who’s right for you and who isn’t.”
“Sam, you can’t just come back after three years, tell me you’re ready for your life to start, and have me back. It doesn’t work like that. I’m different, you’re different… Just let it go.”
He raised his other hand, cupping my face as he stared down into my eyes. “I can’t. I want you back. I need you.”
I lifted my head out of his hands and stepped away from him.
“There’s no way. You almost…” And I was going to confess that he had almost killed me when he left.
I had been so devastated at being abandoned.
Only Dane, my friends, and work had moved me through all the heartbreak and the loneliness and the grief.
I could never go back there and open myself up to that pain again. I was stupid, but I wasn’t a masochist.
“I almost what?” he pressed me, reaching out for my jacket only to have me step just beyond his fingertips. “Tell me.”
“Nothing,” I sighed, trying so hard to smile even though my vision was blurring. “I’ll see you.”
I turned and found I could breathe again as I started down the street.
“J!”
I swung back around to look at him. He was standing there, hands in his pockets, his jaw clenched, just staring at me.
“Can I call you?”
I nodded, because words were beyond me.
“Okay.” He smiled, and I turned away before he could say another word. It took everything I had not to run.
When I was halfway home, my phone rang, and I smiled when I checked the display.
“Hey.” I was happy to hear from him, because I’d thought I never would again. It had been a month of silence that I’d thought was permanent.
“Jory,” he breathed.
“When did you get back?” I asked, keeping it light.
“Couple days ago.”
“How was Hong Kong?” I asked Aaron Sutter. “Did the hotel go up on time?”
“Of course,” he said, nearly indignant. “This is me we’re talking about.”
“Sorry.” I chuckled. “So tell me everything.”
“How about I tell you over a late dinner?”
I hesitated. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“But I…I thought you didn’t wanna see me.”