Chapter 11 Rosie
Rosie
R osie pulled on her clothes and crept out of the bedroom without waking Declan.
They’d slept side by side but had managed not to touch once in the night.
Normally she liked to sleep wrapped around him, but for her the emotional distances made it impossible to connect physically.
She was afraid to reach for him, and he didn’t reach for her.
Despite the very late night and the exhaustion of the journey, she hadn’t slept at all, which wasn’t so surprising because she could never sleep when she was upset.
She needed to talk to someone, preferably her mother.
She could always talk to her mother about everything.
But if she knew Rosie was worried then she’d worry, and Rosie didn’t want to give her extra stress at Christmas when she already had more than enough.
More than usual, thanks to Jamie. After his shock announcement the night before, Rosie had no doubt her mother had spent most of the night awake worrying.
Maybe she could talk to her dad. He always had something wise and sensible to say, even if he did have a tendency to turn everything into a consultation and give her his “doc tor” look.
Also, he was always up early, which meant there was a reasonable chance they’d be able to talk before anyone else was awake.
She crept into the kitchen, expecting to smell coffee and see her father reading the news on his phone while doing his morning exercises.
The kitchen was empty. Usually her father was up and around at six and it was now eight o’clock. Maybe she’d missed him. Maybe he’d already gone for a walk.
She frowned and checked by the back door. His coat was on the peg, so he hadn’t gone for a walk. Presumably he was having a lie-in after their late night. Or maybe he’d been up all night soothing her mother’s anxiety.
A moment later Percy nosed his way into the room, tail wagging.
“Where’s Dad?” She bent to make a fuss of him. “Has no one taken you out this morning yet? We’ll go together.” Perhaps her father had gone out much earlier with the dog and had now gone back to bed.
Squashing down the disappointment that she wasn’t going to be able to talk to him by herself, she grabbed her coat, pushed her feet into her boots and headed outdoors.
The snow had stopped falling and the sky was bright blue, the sun dazzling. The landscape was frosted white and silver, the surface of the snow sparkling in the sunshine.
She pulled on her hat and her sunglasses, zipped up her coat and headed away from the house to the footpath that led to the beach. The path itself was buried under a layer of snow but she knew the route so well she could have walked it with her eyes closed.
The air was icy and she settled her scarf over her mouth and nose and stamped her feet to warm them.
Percy bounded ahead, occasionally pausing to thrust his nose into an interesting looking mound of snow.
She’d been walking for ten minutes when she heard someone call her name.
“Hey, Rosie!” The voice came from behind her, and she turned to see her brother approaching.
This wasn’t good. She would have talked to either one of her parents, but in the circumstances, she didn’t know what to say to Jamie.
“I came downstairs to make coffee and heard you creeping out of the house.”
“I was trying to be quiet. I didn’t want to wake everyone.”
“I was already awake. I brought the coffee with me, and cups. Thought you might want one.” He gestured and she saw now that he’d slung a backpack over his shoulders. “Where are we going? The beach?”
He was assuming that wherever she was going, he’d be going too.
“Shouldn’t you be taking that coffee up to Hayley?”
“She’s still asleep.” He crouched down to rub Percy’s back. “Where’s Declan?”
“Still asleep.” Or was he? She didn’t know if he was asleep or pretending to be asleep so that he could avoid interaction with her. Her mind was going in all sorts of directions she’d rather it didn’t.
“I’m surprised Dad isn’t up. He is usually obsessed with getting his early-morning light.”
She was surprised too. For her entire childhood, her father had been the first out of the house. “He’s retired now. Maybe he’s having a lie-in.”
“Doesn’t sound like Dad, but maybe it’s a good thing he isn’t here.
It gives us a chance to have that chat you wanted.
” Jamie straightened and headed to the beach.
“It’s freezing. The roads will be lethal.
I don’t suppose Will and Becky will be here before this afternoon so I might take Hayley into town.
I want to show her our brilliant secondhand bookshop.
Do they still serve that amazing hot chocolate at Christmas? ”
“I think so. Sounds like a fun trip.” They’d spent so many hours there as children that it had almost felt like a second home.
“You and Declan are welcome to join us.”
“Oh—” She tugged her hat further over her ears.
“Thanks, but we’ll probably stay home. Granny and Grandad are coming over for a family breakfast and then staying.
I promised to help Granny with her dress.
There’s a tear in it that needs mending.
I haven’t seen them for ages so I don’t really want to go out. Maybe another time.”
“No worries. I didn’t know Granny and Grandad were coming this morning.
In which case we might postpone our book trip.
I want Hayley to meet them.” They’d reached the edge of the beach now, and Jamie stopped for a moment and breathed deeply.
“It’s beautiful. Just look at it. That huge stretch of sand and just us.
It’s incredible. We were so lucky growing up in this place. ”
She looked at him, bemused. “Are you feeling okay?”
He glanced at her. “Never better. Why?”
“Because you’ve seen this beach at least a thousand times in your life and I don’t remember you ever getting poetic about it before.
I seem to remember last year you were griping that the place was so cold and inhospitable you didn’t understand why all those people in the Middle Ages didn’t choose to invade somewhere warmer. ”
“That was last year. This year I’m appreciating it.”
“Right.” Wondering what had happened to her brother, she turned and stared at the miles of windswept sand and the choppy sea. “Hayley seems nice.”
“She’s incredible.” He thrust his hands into his pockets.
“I know it’s early days and you’ve only just met her, but when you’ve spent some time with her I think you’ll find she really is nice.
Special.” He turned back to the ocean. “We connected instantly. After five minutes I felt as if I’d known her forever.
She’s had a tough life, and yet she’s turned into this amazing, warm and funny person.
There’s no bitterness, or resentment about the past. No complaining about what she didn’t have or doesn’t have now.
She really believes in doing whatever you can with whatever life throws at you.
I’ve never known anyone to look on the bright side the way she does.
Most people I know are always moaning about something, but not Hayley.
She appreciates every little thing. She has made me see the world differently. ”
Rosie waited for him to draw breath. “So you like her, then.”
He laughed. “Sorry. Am I horribly boring?”
“Not yet. I’ll tell you when you are because that’s what sisters do.
” And if she was honest, she was envious.
What would Declan say about her if someone asked him?
Would he admire her the way Jamie seemed to admire Hayley?
Certainly, she’d been the same way after they’d first met.
She’d used Declan’s name so many times in one conversation that Becky had threatened to move out. “I’m pleased you’re happy.”
“I am. I honestly never thought it was possible to feel this way about another person. I always used to look at couples and wonder how they knew they were right for each other. Marriage is such a huge step, I couldn’t figure out how they had the confidence to go for it, especially after Poppy.
How could they be sure enough that it wouldn’t go wrong?
That one of you wouldn’t just wake up one day and wonder if you’d made a mistake. ”
Rosie’s mouth was dry. “Mm.”
“Honestly, I didn’t really get it, but now I do. It took a few hours for me to realise I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.”
“Okay, now you’re on the verge of making me nauseous, and I’m generally considered a romantic person. Coffee might help. Are you planning on drinking it at any point or did you just add it to the backpack for weight training?”
“Coffee! How could I have forgotten?”
“I think you had other things on your mind.” She watched as he swung the backpack off his shoulders and pulled out the flask and mugs. Percy bounded across to them, nosed the backpack hopefully and then trotted away again when he found nothing more interesting than a flask.
Jamie handed her the mugs to hold. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Oh, nothing.” She held the mugs steady while he poured the coffee. “That smells good.”
“But yesterday you said you wanted to talk to me about something. You said it was important.”
“Did I? I can’t even remember now. Probably something to do with Christmas. Good idea to bring coffee. I wouldn’t have thought of this.”
“That’s because you were sneaking out in a hurry, trying to leave the rest of us behind.”
“I wasn’t sneaking.” She waited for him to put the flask back in the bag and then handed him one of the brimming cups. “I was trying not to wake the household. We all had a late night and we’re going to have another late night tonight with your party.”
“Ah yes, the party.” He took a sip of coffee. “When I said we had something to celebrate, what was everyone expecting?”
“Engagement, obviously, like Mum said.”
He watched the steam rise from the mug. “So how much did I shock everyone?”