Chapter 11 Rosie #2
“A lot, but you must know that.” She pulled off a glove and let the warmth of the cup seep into her fingers. “Why didn’t you tell us before? Why the big secret?”
“I thought it was better done face-to-face. I assumed that saying ‘by the way, I just got married’ wouldn’t have come across well in a phone call.”
It hadn’t come across particularly well when delivered in person, but she didn’t say that. She didn’t want to spoil his moment. “I’m sure you’re right.” She blew on her coffee to cool it.
“I was a bit worried Mum might be upset, but she seemed very relaxed about it all, and excited.”
Seriously? He thought their mother had been relaxed and excited?
She adored her brother, but was he really that emotionally clueless?
Or maybe love had clouded his brain. It had been obvious to her that their mother had been making a supreme effort to cover her shock and hurt.
She’d made an admirable attempt, but Rosie hadn’t thought anyone had been fooled by her enthusiastic response.
Clearly she’d been wrong about that. And perhaps that was a good thing.
There was no way Jamie would have wanted to hurt their mother.
“Was there some reason why you decided to get married quickly and in secret?” She sipped her coffee, which was cooling rapidly in the freezing air. “What’s wrong with having your family there? Are we particularly embarrassing?”
“Yes, horribly.” He grinned and finished his coffee before shaking the drips from the mug onto the snow. “Just kidding. I love my family, you know that. But I thought it would make the whole thing easier for Hayley if we did it quietly, just the two of us. No fuss.”
“Easier? Are we difficult?”
“It wasn’t so much the people as the principle.
” He took her empty mug and tucked it back inside the rucksack with the flask and the other mug.
“She doesn’t have family. If we’d had a big wedding—or even a small, family-only wedding—she would have had no one there.
Not that she would have said anything, because that isn’t how she is.
But I wanted it to be about the two of us and nothing else.
Doing it the way we did felt more—I don’t know—” he shrugged “—equal, I suppose. It was about us, and no one else.”
“She has no family at all?”
“No. She grew up in care. She had no one encouraging her to do her homework. No one clapping for her in a school play. No one stealing her chocolate at Christmas. She has been her own cheerleader for her whole life. But now she has me.”
Rosie felt a lump form in her throat. “That makes me want to cry.”
“Because she has me? You feel sorry for her?”
“No, you idiot.” She gave him a push. “Because she has never had anyone in her corner.”
“I know. It makes me sad too, although she hates it when I say so. She prefers to think about now. And now she has me in her corner. I’m there for her, through thick and thin no matter what.”
Rosie felt herself well up. She wanted Declan to feel that way about her.
Jamie peered at her. “Are you crying?”
“No, it’s the cold air—” She brushed at her eyes. “And I might be a bit emotional today.”
“You always are. Especially at Christmas. You love this time of year. And it’s snowing. This must be your dream.”
“Absolutely.” She blinked back tears and forced a smile. “My dream.”
He hooked the backpack onto his shoulder. “Do you want to walk a bit more?”
“Yes.” She needed to shake off the thoughts she was having. She needed to stop asking herself questions about her own relationship.
They walked along the beach together, wrapped up warmly against the winter cold. Miles of sand stretched ahead and they were the only people walking.
Everyone else was probably snuggled up in the warm kitchen drinking hot chocolate and feelings Christmassy.
She zipped her coat a little higher to keep out the icy air.
Instead of feeling sorry for herself, she forced herself to focus on Jamie. And that wasn’t so hard because she wanted to know more. She could never resist hearing someone’s romantic story. “So you met her in Thailand and wham, that was it. You decided to marry her.”
“When you know, you know. You’re one of the few people who will understand that because the same thing happened with you and Declan.” He paused for a moment, watching as Percy raced across the sand. “You were married quickly and that has turned out well, hasn’t it?”
She’d thought so at the time, but now she wasn’t so sure. But there was no point in voicing that as he was already married. It was too late for her experience to make a difference, and the last thing he needed was to hear about her marital problems.
“Yes, it was quick for us too.”
She was embarrassed. She felt like a failure. Who had marital problems after less than a year?
He gave her a searching look. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m just worried about you, that’s all. You’re my big brother. I want you to be happy.”
“You can stop worrying because I’ve never been happier.”
“Good.” She slipped her arm into his. “Let’s go home. We can help Mum prepare breakfast so she doesn’t get overwhelmed.”
“You still can’t remember what it was you wanted to say to me?”
“No. Which just proves it couldn’t have been important.
” It wasn’t her brother she needed to talk to, she realised, nor her parents.
It was Declan. She needed to tell him how she was feeling.
She needed to find out how he was feeling.
They needed to try to work out where and when their relationship had started to unravel.
Jamie checked his phone. “Nothing from Hayley. I need to check she’s okay. I wonder if Becky and Will are on their way. Have you heard from them this morning?”
“No.” Thinking of her sister brought back all her anxieties about Declan.
He was obviously looking forward to seeing Becky.
Was her sister feeling the same way? Becky and Declan had been friends for years before Rosie had arrived on the scene.
It hadn’t crossed her mind that there might be anything more between them than friendship. Becky would have told her, surely?
But she knew that wasn’t true. She shared everything with Becky—every feeling, every date, every kiss. Becky rarely shared her innermost self, even with her sister.
Rosie tried to think back to that first night when Becky had invited her to join them.
The night she’d met Declan for the first time.
He and Becky had already been at the table, drinks in front of them.
They were laughing about something, but not sitting particularly close together.
Not touching. She’d seen friendship, not romance.
“I can’t wait to hear all about Becky’s new job,” Jamie said. “How’s it going?”
Rosie pulled herself back to the present. “I don’t know. I’m looking forward to finding out more.”
“But you and she talk all the time—”
“Not so much lately. I think she’s been giving us space because we were newly married. And she has been busy, I’ve been busy—you know how it is—” She quickened her pace. “It’s freezing out here. Let’s get back in the warm.”
She didn’t really know how it was, but she intended to find out.
But before then there was something she had to do.
Smiling, she bent down, scooped up a large ball of snow and threw it at her brother.