Chapter 26 Becky #3
“I’ve always said that but I’m not having any trouble understanding the way I feel about you now.
” She kissed him and he kissed her back and she forgot that she’d been in a hurry to go back to the house, that she’d wanted this conversation to be brief, to get it over with.
All she wanted was now. This. Him. And then she remembered and pulled away.
“There’s something I need to tell you. Something I need to say.
” She thought about Rosie and Declan, and how not communicating could lead to assumptions, which could lead to friction and fractures. She didn’t want that. Not ever.
“There’s something I need to say, too, but you can go first.”
She curled her fingers into the front of his coat. “I was never in love with Declan.”
“I know.”
“You know?” She’d been prepared to repeat herself but it seemed she didn’t need to.
“It was obvious to me right from the start that what you were feeling at your sister’s wedding was complicated.
Your relationship with Rosie is something most people can’t imagine.
For all your lives you’ve been each other’s significant person, so someone else coming along and disrupting that had to be confusing and unsettling.
I did suggest that on the day when you were howling into my shirt, but you were convinced you were in love with Declan so I decided that the best approach was to let you figure it out for yourself. Which I hoped you would in time.”
“You’re patient.”
“Not really. But you’re worth waiting for.”
“We’ve wasted so much time.”
“Yes, we have. And I don’t want to waste any more, which is why I’m not carrying this around a moment longer.” He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small midnight-blue box, tied with a silver bow. “I could have put it under the Christmas tree, but some gifts are better given in private.”
“Will?” She stared at the box, almost too afraid to take it from him, but he pressed it into her hand and she fumbled with ribbon and wrapping before finally lifting the lid. “Oh. Oh! ”
“If a diamond is too fairy-tale for you, just think of it as carbon atoms.”
Carbon atoms.
She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry and in the end she did both. “It’s not too fairy-tale.” It was better than that, because this was real. He was real.
“Will you marry me, Becks? I love you so much. You’re my best friend.
You’ve always been my best friend, but now you’re so much more than that.
You’re the only woman I want, and the only woman I’ll ever want.
If you don’t want to get married, we don’t have to.
Just live with me. Until you’re old and can’t remember your passwords. ”
She felt lightheaded. “Is it fake?”
“The ring? No, it’s not fake. Nothing about this is fake. Not the ring and not my feelings.”
“I can’t believe you bought me a ring.” The diamond sparkled and shimmered in the winter sunlight. “When?”
“Last year. After Elsie and I broke up I decided this was ridiculous. I was going to tell you how I felt. But then at the wedding you were so sure you were in love with Declan, it just wasn’t the right time.
Are you going to answer my question any time soon?
Because we’re both running the risk of frostbite. ”
She felt a burst of intense happiness. “If I say yes, do I have to wear a scratchy dress with a veil?”
“No. Wear what you like. Wear your hoodie. I’d love you to wear your hoodie. We could get you one with ‘Bride’ on the front.” He was smiling and so was she.
“And you’re not just asking me to marry you so that you get in-house tech support for the rest of your life?”
“I can fix my own computer, Becks.” He took the ring from its box and slid it onto her finger. “There. You can give it back to me if you don’t want it.”
“I want it.” She clutched her hand to her chest. “Get away from my ring.”
“So is that a yes?”
“It’s a yes. A big yes. A forever yes.”
“Forever yes is what I was hoping for.” He kissed her again and she might have carried on kissing him for the rest of Christmas, except that she could feel the ring on her finger and wanted to look at it.
She eased away from him and gazed at her finger. “I love it.” She could hardly breathe. “It fits perfectly. Rosie would say that was a sign.”
“It’s a sign that I checked the size of your finger.” He stroked her cheek. “Are you crying?”
“Crying? Me? No, it’s the wind.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“And talking of crying, can we forget the fact that I howled at Rosie’s wedding? I don’t want you to bring it up in twenty years, the way my grandmother does. She waits for the moment that is going to guarantee maximum embarrassment and then she pounces.”
“I don’t remember you crying.” Infinitely gentle, he zipped her coat a little higher and adjusted her hat. “We need to get back indoors. You’re freezing.”
“Are we going to tell people? About this? About us?”
“Why not?”
“Because our relationship started out as a pretence. It was fake.”
He thought about that for a moment.
“It was never really fake, and anyway it doesn’t matter how things start,” he said, “it only matters how things end.”
She slipped her hand into his and they started to walk back to the house.
“I like that. I might write it on a sticky note and put it on my laptop. Just to warn you though, you do know Granny is going to ask if I’m pregnant?
Because she doesn’t know how to not be inappropriate. So apologies in advance.”
“After last night, maybe you are.”
“Pregnant?” She stopped walking and stared at him. “I hadn’t even thought—”
“Neither did I, obviously. Sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing? I was equally responsible.” Becky did some calculations. “It’s probably okay. Possibly. And if it isn’t, then Granny will be very happy.”
And maybe, she thought, she’d be happy too.