Chapter Eleven #2
“So I’ll say this,” the earl said as he withdrew slightly. “It is also in your best interest to tell yourself the truth. How do you feel about Mrs. Knight?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Truly, it’s not.”
Gregory frowned. He let down his guard as he delved into the thoughts that had been swirling through his head for the past handful of days. “It would be stupid to say I’ve fallen tip over tail for her in only two weeks.”
“That it would, but stranger things have happened.” Slowly, the earl circled him.
“However, it would prove equally detrimental to ignore the fact that I can’t evict her from my mind. She’s always in my thoughts, and I… Well, I miss her if I don’t see her every day.”
“Ah, now we’re getting to the heart of the matter.”
“Perhaps we are.” A frown tugged at the corners of Gregory’s mouth. “Yet we are from two different worlds.”
“Does that matter? You both have hearts and feelings, and are capable of free thinking.”
Were they, though? Neither of them had discussed feelings with each other.
In fact, they got on so well together, it seemed as if he’d known her for a hundred years.
Intuitively, he knew what she needed and she did the same for him.
Except he’d ignored her last night when he’d already promised to escort her to the opera.
Damn, I’m a fool.
Then a padded mitten slammed into his chin while another drilled into his midsection. Gregory was knocked flat onto his back, laid out on the mat staring up at the earl. Pain radiated from his stomach as well as his chin and jaw. Gasping for breath, he blinked in surprise at his friend.
Bloody, bloody hell.
“You were right,” he managed to wheeze. “I have new clarity.”
“Woolgathering and boxing do not make good bedfellows, my friend.” With amusement dancing in his eyes, Holdcraft offered a hand, and when Gregory grasped it, he hefted him onto his feet.
“Why are you spending time thinking when you should have been concentrating on sparring? Nothing good can come of that.”
A snort escaped him. “You told me to.” God, he might cast up his accounts if he wasn’t careful.
Doubling over, he drew in a few deep breaths while yanking the mittens off his hands.
When his body stabilized, he straightened and tossed the gloves onto a nearby wooden chair.
“I think I’m in trouble where Constance is concerned. What should I do?”
“Now that rings as truth.” Holdcraft removed his own padded gloves. “What you should do largely depends on what you want for your own life.”
“Why do you keep asking me difficult questions?”
“Because you continue to put yourself into difficult situations.”
“Shit.” Gregory rested his hands on his hips as he stared at the earl. What did he want? “I never thought I would fall in love.”
“We never do,” Holdcraft said with a shake of his head. “It’s that damned interference of fate that traps us.”
He shoved a hand through his hair. “My parents have expectations of me, and frankly, I never thought I would marry.” Did the intentions of his life align with theirs?
Should they need to? Icy fingers of fear played his spine.
“There are certain obligations put on me; I’m certain you can relate.
In fact, my parents have arranged a dinner so I can meet one of the eligible ladies they wish for me to choose as a bride.
” Then he groaned. “Tonight actually, which means there is no way I can see Constance unless I call after the dinner…” At that late hour, would she even open the door to him?
“Of course they do, but you are also a grown man and can make your own decisions.” When Greogry remained silent, the earl shook his head. “Look, it’s not as if you will ever hold your father’s title. And doesn’t your brother have a son?”
“Yes, he does, but—”
“You have already established yourself as a barrister who has the potential to be noticed,” the earl continued as if Gregory had never spoken.
“I am aware of that, yet—”
“And you seem to get on well with Mrs. Knight. I’ll even dare to say that she makes you happy, which is a good sight better than any of your fleeting liaisons with other women over the years.
” Both of his eyebrows rose this time. “So, the logical question now remains: why not make that relationship official?”
God, it was annoying to have a friend who made so much damned sense. “Constance isn’t of the ton.”
A look of exasperation crossed Holdcraft’s face. “Who the devil cares about that? There are good women everywhere, you nodcock. The ton doesn’t produce all of them. In fact, many of their members are rotten to the core.”
“There is that.” Being in law, he’d seen some of the worst. “In truth, my father will disinherit me if I don’t marry well.”
“Is that so terrible?” The earl shrugged. “You make your own living. You don’t need his backing, and second sons are notorious for disappointing their fathers anyway.”
Another truth. “That depends. My career can be feast or famine. I might need to depend on my father’s coin to get through on the hard times.”
“Don’t dissemble. I know you, and you would never let your pride ask for handouts.
” A slow grin curved Holdcraft’s mouth. “You are also clever, which means you would do whatever it took until you got back on your feet.” Then his gaze bored into Gregory’s.
“You are a talented barrister who is just reeling from a recent loss. That doesn’t mean you will lose the remainder of your cases.
Men like you will always be needed in the courtroom. ”
He rubbed a hand along the side of his face then winced, for there would be a bit of a bruise even though the punch he’d taken had been softened by the mitten. “You make far too much sense for me to even mount a defense.”
The earl chuckled but narrowed his eyes. “Then why are you dragging your feet on this? Why are you hiding from the truth, from what has the potential to be a lovely, happy life?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “It is much to ponder.”
“It is, but I think you’re afraid of what society, of what your parents, will say if you choose to marry your mistress.”
He gave a curt nod. “Doing so could destroy my living. The gossip would bury us both.”
“There is that, but not doing so might destroy your life depending on how invested in her you are.” Holdcraft dropped a hand on Gregory’s shoulder.
“You’ll need to ask yourself if you can live without Mrs. Knight being the most essential person to have at your side.
If you can contemplate a future without making an honest woman of her, that is all to the good.
But when you think on that future, and the only place she has is as a mistress you’ll either lose interest in or forget once you force yourself to fall in love with a wife not of your own choosing, how are you going to feel?
The years will stretch out like an eternity. ”
“And my heart will shatter,” he finished in a soft voice.
Not being able to spend the time he wanted with Constance would leave him at sixes and sevens.
Everything he previously enjoyed would seem like a chore, for she wouldn’t be waiting for him with that bright smile or that certain sparkle in her eyes at the end of the day.
“There is much to think about, it seems.”
“I wish you luck at it.”
Damn it all. I believe I’m well and truly cooked.