Chapter 20
Carrie was shocked by Spencer’s anger, but at the same time she understood it.
She had considered how she might feel had someone murdered her father.
It was bad enough that her birth father had died when she was so young.
She believed God was all powerful and therefore able to prevent her father’s wagon from going off the icy bridge.
God could have kept the situation from becoming a tragedy in the lives of the two sisters left behind.
But He didn’t. Just as God hadn’t kept Spencer’s father from being murdered.
She went to the window and put up the shade. She hated that Spencer had left in such a rage. She’d never seen that side of him, but she had seen her father angry at injustices. She’d heard him rant at her mother when something had gone wrong and the bad guy was kept from paying his dues.
Spencer was in pain. There was no doubt about that, but Carrie wasn’t sure that Spencer would find relief even if Knowles was his man.
Movement caused Carrie to look out the window once more. Perhaps Spencer was coming back. To her surprise it turned out to be her mother. What in the world had caused her to come calling at this hour?
Carrie opened the door before her mother even knocked. She forced a smile. “Good afternoon, Mama. What a surprise.”
“I know it is, but I felt compelled to come see you. Call it intuition or God’s nudging, but I just felt like perhaps you needed me. Or at least needed to talk.”
“Come in.” It seemed strange that God would have sent her to Carrie. She hadn’t considered needing a mother’s ear, but maybe that was exactly what was called for. Carrie hadn’t taken her troubles to Mama in a long time.
“Oh, and I brought this letter for you. It was posted to our address.”
Carrie took the letter and opened it. “It’s from Jason Frommel. He was one of the research assistants at the clinic Oswald headed up.”
“I don’t remember you ever mentioning him.”
“There was no reason to mention him. He was an acquaintance, someone I worked with. Nothing more. We had very little interaction.” Carrie scanned the letter and threw it aside. “Oh, that man!”
“Jason?”
“No, Oswald Nelson. He infuriates me in more ways than I can even tell. Jason says he received acclaim in New York last month for his latest research. Or should I say, my research. Remember I told you about him stealing my work and having published an article?” Mama nodded while Carrie picked up the letter from the floor.
“That’s the same work for which he’s being heralded as a genius. ”
Carrie made her way into the front room with Mama following behind.
She knew she wasn’t being much of a hostess, but she was too distraught.
“Why would God allow that? It’s not like it’s a questionable matter.
I did that work. I found the discoveries.
Oswald had nothing to do with it. God could have kept my work safe . . . could have kept me safe.”
“I believe He has kept you safe, my love.” Mama reached out to touch Carrie’s cheek.
Carrie crumpled the letter in her hand. “But Oswald is getting the credit for something he didn’t do.
That finding could have given me the extra attention needed to get the medical world to take me seriously.
It might have attracted sponsors, donors.
Research doctors need those kinds of people since we don’t make much money in any other way. ”
“But you once told me, if you’d presented the information as a female doctor, they might have ignored you altogether and the article would never have been published. The findings would have remained unheard of. At least this way the evidence is out there.”
“Not that Oswald will ever figure out what to do with it.” She met her mother’s gaze. “My findings are the very early stages of what is yet to come. However, Oswald won’t have any idea of where to go from there.”
“And so perhaps the world will see him for the fraud he is.” Mama put her arm around Carrie’s shoulders and led her to the sofa. “Sit and calm down. Everything will seem better in a few minutes.”
“I wish that’s all it took.” Carrie took a seat, and her mother did likewise. “Spencer and I argued.”
“As do all married couples.”
“This was about the man who killed his father.”
“And why would you fight about that?” Mama asked.
“Because he thinks the man may be my patient.”
“Well, I know your father and brother have been trying hard to help Spencer find his man. Although I admit, I don’t know much other than that. Why should this new knowledge cause a fight?”
“Because I saw something in Spencer that I didn’t like. He was angry and so focused on Astor paying for what he’d done to his father that he held very little compassion or sympathy for the man. A man who has only days, maybe hours to live.”
“I’m not sure I understand.” Mama shook her head and pulled off her gloves. “Why don’t you start at the beginning and tell me everything.”
Carrie began with Spencer learning that Rowland Knowles was her patient. She told her mother all the details of Knowles’s condition.
“He’s in hideous pain and is losing the ability to use his hand and will probably lose his vision. I told Spencer it would be impossible to bring him to justice. He’s going to die right here in Cheyenne. Spencer insists on confronting the man and learning the truth.”
“Maybe it would do both men good.”
Mama’s comment surprised Carrie. “Why would you say that?”
“Maybe Mr. Knowles needs to confess. The man is going to die soon. Perhaps he regrets what he did. Maybe speaking to Spencer would help him die in peace.”
Carrie hadn’t considered this aspect of the matter. Her mother was absolutely right. Dying had a way of making people speak on things they might otherwise have left unsaid.
“Perhaps. I admit that I hadn’t really thought of it being beneficial to Mr. Knowles, but you may be right. I mean, what does he have to lose in admitting the truth? If it were me and I had something like that in my past, I would want to clear the slate, so to speak.”
Mama nodded. “As would I. Of course, there are truly evil people who wouldn’t concern themselves with such things.”
“Mr. Knowles doesn’t seem that type. Then again, I’ve known him such a short time that I could hardly tell you what the man would want. I feel bad for both men. Spencer has waited nearly his whole life to bring that Astor to justice. If Astor is Knowles, that isn’t going to happen.”
“Spencer will need you to help him through this. I’m sure there’s a part of him that supposes he owes this to his father. He might believe that if he can’t bring his father’s killer to justice, then he’s failed him.”
“I could see him feeling that way. After all, he’s devoted his life and career to catching this man. Every important decision of his life has been made with that task in mind.”
“Including marrying you.”
Carrie considered that. “Do you suppose he’ll regret it now if he can’t take Astor to face charges? Especially since he’s my patient.” She shook her head. “Will he blame me?”
“Spencer loves you. I’m convinced of that. I’ve seen it in his eyes. Heard it in his voice. Your father is confident of it, as well, and you know how good he is at discerning the truth.”
“I’ve let myself fall in love with him. I don’t honestly know what I’d do if I lost him now.”
Mama patted her hand. “You aren’t going to lose him. Just be understanding of his situation. Nothing you do will keep Mr. Knowles from dying, is that true?”
“Yes. He will die no matter what I do.”
“Let Spencer have time with him. If he is the man who killed his father, then Spencer can put an end to his search and lay this to rest. It might not be the ending he’d hoped for, but it will be an ending nevertheless.”
“Thank you, Mama. I appreciate your wisdom.” Carrie looked at her mother for a moment. She was starting to get lines around her mouth and eyes. She wasn’t all that old, but the years were starting to show.
“There’s something else I need to say.” Carrie drew a deep breath. “I spent a great deal of my growing-up years feeling like an outcast, which I vocalized quite loudly at times.”
“I prayed constantly that you would realize how important you were to our family. How you weren’t at all an outcast. When I first thought I might lose you, I was ready to fight to the death to keep you with me.
You were my child in every way but birth.
I was the first one to cradle you. The first to feed and bathe you.
You never knew any mother but me. And in truth, Edward was really your only father.
Our blood father was a good man, a brave man, but I believe babies were the one thing that scared him to death. ”
Carrie smiled. “I saw many a man react that way when I was helping you with some of the births around here.”
“The only man I’ve ever seen take to babies with the natural instincts of a mother is Charlie Decker.
He positively loves children, and babies don’t cause him even a moment of hesitation.
Even your father was scared and uncomfortable.
Until your brothers and sister got to be around two years old, he would just as soon have very little to do with you.
Not because he held no love, but because he was afraid of being too rough or not attentive enough. ”
“I can understand that. I guess what I really want to say is that I know you loved me. I know I belong to this family. Greta said some things that made me see myself differently. I guess we all just have those questions about ourselves. We all wonder if we truly have a place . . . if we really belong.”