Chapter 24
Elizabeth walked briskly down the London street, her pelisse wrapped tightly to ward against the bitter cold. Jamie and a maid trailed behind for propriety’s sake, but Elizabeth kept her quick pace.
The three were taking their usual route from the Gardiner’s home on Gracechurch Street to the home that sheltered the abandoned disabled children. Elizabeth visited the home three mornings per week, finding solace in being useful and wanted.
She had been in London for three weeks, and health, good-humor, and cheerfulness reappeared in her countenance. Everything wore a happier aspect; even the dingy streets of the city seemed more pleasing than Hertfordshire’s familiar paths because she was, at last, of some service.
The soft murmur of children’s voices filled the air as Elizabeth Bennet stepped into the sunlit drawing room of the well-kept home. Her presence, a familiar comfort, brought smiles and eager glances from the young faces that greeted her.
“Hello, girls,” she said brightly to the four teenage girls who were sitting on chairs near the fire. “What are you working on today?”
One of them—a blond girl who had the potential for beauty were it not for severe scarring on the right side of her face from a house fire—held up a half-sewn baby gown. “There’s a new child, Miss Lizzy. Got left outside on the door last night. We’re putting together some of the fabric from Mr. Gardiner’s warehouses for her.”
“Poor thing,” clucked Elizabeth. “Here, let me show you a few stitches that will make it more secure; then I’ll head upstairs to the nursery and see if Mrs. Pingree needs anything for the newest arrival.”
As she taught them the basic sewing and repair skills, Elizabeth reflected on the importance of these moments. Each stitch, each lesson was more than just a skill; it was a seed of hope, a promise of independence and a better future. It was slow progress, as each girl had a different handicap that required them to adapt the movements, but Elizabeth was patient and the girls were eager to learn.
The hour slipped by unnoticed, marked only by the advancement of their work and the occasional peal of laughter. Elizabeth’s visits, though a small part of her week, were a cherished oasis for both her and the children. In this humble home, she found a profound sense of purpose, a connection that transcended society’s expectations and brought genuine fulfillment.
It had always been this way, she realized as she climbed the stairs to the nursery. Her visits to London always served to raise her spirits, though she bore witness to some of humanity’s worst evils. While some ladies of the first circles came on occasion to boast of their patronage, their delicate natures were too overcome by the harsh realities of the disabled children of the lower classes who had no one to care for them.
Elizabeth heard the cries before she reached the door to the room where the youngest children dwelt. Unlike many foundling hospitals where babes were lined up in cradles and ignored for hours on end in dirty nappies—sometimes not even being fed—the infants at this home were well cared for by some of the older girls in the home, overseen by a few nannies and wet nurses.
She entered the room to find Mrs. Pingree walking around the room, attempting to soothe a screaming infant. The woman looked up at Elizabeth. “Oh, thank goodness you’re here, Miss Bennet. I’ve got to get downstairs and get the boys started on their tour of the stables, but this new little one has taken up all my time. Would you mind going down and leading them out?”
“What if I take the baby instead?” Elizabeth said with a smile, speaking loudly over the cries and holding out her arms. “Between my sisters and my young cousins, I’ve soothed my fair share of infants. I can also recognize when a woman needs a break from the wailing!”
“Oh, bless you!”
Without waiting to be told twice, the desperate matron thrust the sobbing infant into Elizabeth’s arms and rushed out the door before Elizabeth could change her mind. Still chuckling, Elizabeth looked down at the tiny bundle and gasped. Her eyes filled with tears. “Oh my, I can see why you were left here. You poor little angel. I think that’s what I’ll call you: Angela.”
Having been volunteering at this home for several years now, Elizabeth knew that this baby probably would not live very long. Her face was extremely flat, with a small nose and eyes that slanted upwards. Even when she paused between wails to take a breath, her tongue remained protruding from her mouth. The neck was so short, it was almost nonexistent, and all these features told Elizabeth that the child most likely had a bad heart as well. Even now, she struggled for breath, her fingertips and lips tinged blue from lack of blood circulation.
In spite of this, however, the baby was still crying a sound so pitiful it made Elizabeth want to weep herself. Softly she sang a lullaby she had once heard her aunt Gardiner sing to her own children.
“Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop,
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all.
Rock-a-bye baby, your cradle is green,
Father’s a King, and Mother’s a queen.
Sister’s a Lady, and wears a gold ring,
Brother’s a drummer, and plays for the king.
Rock-a-bye baby, way up on high,
Never mind, baby, Mother is nigh.
Up to the ceiling, down to the ground,
Rock-a-bye baby, up hill and down.”
∞∞∞
Darcy stood in the door and stared at the sight in front of him. He had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. When he left Hertfordshire, he thought he would never see Elizabeth Bennet again, and now here she was, cuddling an infant to her chest, singing a lullaby that had originated not three decades prior from his own home county of Derbyshire.
Is this a dream?
The soft clearing of a throat behind him brought him back to his senses, and he realized that the vision in front of him was, in fact, reality.
“If music be the food of love, sing on,” Dr. Carson whispered.
Darcy looked back and gave his friend a sharp look, which was returned with a smirk. Upon Darcy’s return to London a month prior, he had buried himself in business and estate matters in an attempt to forget his disastrous encounter with Elizabeth at Oakham Mount.
Carson, out of concern for both Darcy and Georgiana, had plied his friend with brandy after dinner one evening until the entire tale had been pulled from Darcy’s drunken lips. While sharing his woes did not entirely eliminate his heartbreak, Darcy was able to return to some sense of normalcy, much to Georgiana’s relief.
As the song ended, Darcy felt Carson shove him in the back—hard. It was all he could do to keep from losing his balance and sprawling on his face in front of Elizabeth’s feet. Instead, he took a few loud steps into the room, causing Elizabeth to spin around in alarm.
“Mr. Darcy!” she gasped, clutching the baby tightly to her chest.
Darcy’s eyes flickered down towards where the tiny bundle was snuggled; then he flushed and forced himself to look upwards. “Miss Bennet,” he said, fighting to manage a somewhat normal tone of voice. “I hope we did not startle you. You remember Dr. Carson, I trust?”
“Yes, of course,” she sputtered, her gaze still locked onto Darcy’s face. “What… what brings you here?”
“Mrs. Pingree sent a note early this morning about a new baby having been left here during the night. I imagine this is the child? She said it would need medical attention.”
“Oh!” Elizabeth looked surprised. “I was not aware that you were… that is, I did not know…”
“I try to keep my involvement in charitable affairs private,” Darcy explained. “However, when there is a pressing matter that is time-sensitive, Mrs. Pingree knows she can contact me directly.”
“May I see the babe?” interjected Carson.
“Yes… yes, of course,” stammered Elizabeth. “I’m calling her Angela for now.”
She led the two men over to an empty bassinet at the side of the room. “Fortunately, this little one is the only infant we have at the moment. There are a few older babies who are crawling, and they are currently being tended by some of the older girls downstairs.”
Elizabeth placed the baby in the bassinet and unwrapped the swaddle blankets. Carson leaned over to make a visual examination. “Hmm,” he said, pulling out his notebook and writing down his observations, just as he had with Jane.
He then pulled out his ear horn and pressed it to the infant’s chest, who squirmed and began wailing pitifully once again. Elizabeth moved forward and held the babe’s arms with one hand while gently caressing her brow with the other, murmuring soothing words in a hushed voice.
At last, the examination complete, Carson sat back and added a few more lines to his notebook. Elizabeth swaddled the baby again before picking her up and rocking her gently in her arms, humming a soothing melody. The cries quickly subsided into soft whimpers.
“What is your verdict, Carson?” Darcy asked.
“Not very good, I’m afraid,” the doctor replied grimly.
“She isn’t going to live very long, is she?” Elizabeth’s question sounded more like a statement.
Carson shook his head. “I’m afraid not. We don’t really have a name for children who are born with this condition, but the physical features—especially the face and neck—are quite obvious. More often than not, they are born with severe heart conditions. Even if her heart were healthy, which I’m afraid to say it isn’t, her mind would most likely never develop beyond that of a child’s.”
“Like Jane?”
“Your sister is different,” Carson answered. “She may be a bit more simpleminded, and her heart is weak, but she still has the ability to make decisions and use rational thought. Children like this baby, however, aren’t able to develop their minds past the age of two or three—and that’s if they live. Some end up not even learning to walk or talk, but others can. There’s just no way of really knowing until they grow.”
“But this child won’t survive,” Darcy said, seeking confirmation.
“No, her heart is too weak. Frankly, I’m surprised she was able to even withstand the birth. When I listened to her heart, I could hear a whooshing sound, which means there is damage to the organ of some kind. Hers is quite prominent, and from the sound of her cries, she is already having difficulty breathing.”
“What do we do?” Elizabeth asked.
“Keep her fed and comfortable,” Carson said. “Goat’s milk from a bottle will be better than a wet-nurse, as suckling will tire her out too quickly. I will leave some laudanum as well, which will lower any pain and help her remain calm.”
“Laudanum? For an infant?” Darcy asked in surprise.
“Darcy, I honestly doubt she will live more than a week at the most. The laudanum will be a kindness, both for the babe and for those caring for her.”
Elizabeth nodded. “This isn’t the first time a babe has been left here like this. Other doctors have recommended the same. At least, the good doctors do.”
“What do the others recommend?” Darcy asked.
Carson pressed his lips together. “Nothing.”
Darcy raised his eyebrows in shock. “You mean to say…”
“It’s because they know that there are so few resources available,” Elizabeth said. “If there is only so much milk to go around, why waste it on a child you know will die anyway?”
The conversation was interrupted when Mrs. Pingree came bustling into the room. “Thank you so much, Miss Bennet… Oh, Dr. Carson! Mr. Darcy!” An expression of chagrin crossed her face. “I do apologize for not being here when you arrived.”
“Not at all,” Darcy said, his formal tone of voice returning. “Dr. Carson has performed the examination, and Miss Bennet has been of great assistance.”
“Oh, I wasn’t aware that you were already acquainted.”
“Mr. Darcy is the good friend of my sister Jane’s new husband, Mr. Bingley,” Elizabeth said. “He was Mr. Bingley’s guest for several weeks, and he asked Dr. Carson to come see Jane when she fell ill. He has…” she hesitated; then said fiercely, “proven to be a good friend to not only my new brother, but to myself and my family as well.”
Darcy’s eyes darkened, and his gaze was so intense that she flushed and looked down. Carson looked between the couple and grinned, whereas Mrs. Pingree merely glanced around the room in bewilderment.
At length, Elizabeth said, “Mrs. Pingree, I believe it’s past time for me to return home. My aunt will be wondering about my whereabouts.”
“Please, allow me to escort you,” Darcy immediately offered.
“Oh, but Dr. Carson…” Elizabeth stammered.
“I actually had planned on finding a hackney,” Carson said. “We would have been going our separate ways.”
“If I walk with you, then my carriage can convey Dr. Carson to his destination, then return for me,” Darcy said.
“You would really be doing me a service,” Carson added with a laugh. “Darcy’s carriage is much more comfortable than a hired coach!”
“In that case, how can I say no?” Elizabeth said.
The three young people left Mrs. Pingree with Angela and made their farewells to one another. Carson climbed into Darcy’s coach while Elizabeth had one of the girls send word to Jamie and her maid that she was ready to return to the Gardiners. Once everyone was prepared, Darcy extended his arm, and the two of them began the walk back towards Gracechurch Street.
The silence was uncomfortable for several long minutes before Elizabeth said, “I had not expected to see you in London.”
“Yes, I had several pressing matters of business to attend to. Georgiana and I plan on returning to Pemberley sometime in the late spring for the planting.”
They fell back into silence; then Elizabeth tried again, gesturing towards the bustling city street. “It’s quite a change from the peaceful countryside, isn’t it?”
“Indeed. It is one reason I infinitely prefer being at Pemberley.”
“I must admit, Mr. Darcy, I never imagined we would find ourselves walking together through the streets of London.”
“Nor I, Miss Bennet. But fate has a way of bringing unexpected opportunities our way.”
“It is the stars, The stars above us, govern our conditions.”
Darcy smiled. “It has been a while since I have read King Lear.”
“Shakespeare certainly had a way with words.”
The remaining distance to the Gardiner home passed all too quickly for both Darcy and Elizabeth. They were so engrossed in their conversation about books they had read and the performances of those works that Elizabeth nearly continued walking past their destination without realizing it. It was only when Jamie called her name that she became aware of her surroundings.
“Oh! We are here.”
Her tone was so disappointed that Darcy felt the first stirrings of hope leap within him. “I have enjoyed our conversations.”
“As have I,” she smiled warmly.
“I should like to continue them,” he said a bit nervously.
“I would welcome the opportunity, Mr. Darcy.”
The two gazed into one another’s eyes for several long moments before Jamie loudly cleared his throat and pretended to cough into his sleeve to get Elizabeth’s attention.
“Well, I suppose I had best go inside,” she said in a breathy whisper.
“Might I… call on you? Tomorrow?”
“You mean…?”
“Yes,” he said. “That is, I wish to spend more time with you.”
She gave him a shy smile. “I would like that very much.”
∞∞∞
As promised, Darcy arrived the next morning promptly as visiting hours began. Mrs. Gardiner was eager to make the acquaintance of someone from the county of her childhood, and the two spoke fondly of their shared acquaintances from Lambton.
“I was pleasantly surprised to hear Miss Bennet singing a familiar lullaby to the new baby yesterday,” Darcy said. “I am assuming she learned it from you?”
“Yes,” Mrs. Gardiner smiled broadly. “I was never sure whether to believe my grandmother when she told me that the song was made up by her friend’s mother, whose family lived in a tree after being evicted from their cottage.”
“I heard that tale as well,” Darcy said, “but I never gave it much credence.”
“In any case, the lyrics are lovely, and the tune is soothing,” Elizabeth said. “I’ve yet to meet a baby who didn’t settle almost immediately when I sang it.”
After a few more minutes of pleasant, yet somewhat trivial, conversation, a maid entered to inform Mrs. Gardiner that her presence was required by her children in the nursery. She excused herself but left the maid behind, along with the door open for propriety’s sake. The maid immediately occupied herself in the corner with some mending, leaving Darcy and Elizabeth to converse in relative privacy.
Lowering her voice, Elizabeth said, “Mr. Darcy, I cannot go another day without taking the time to once again apologize to you for my words.”
“You have already done so, Miss Bennet. There is no need—”
“But there is every need! I knew I had been harsh that day on Oakham Mount, but then when I read…” Her eyes darted over to the maid, who was steadfastly fixated on her work. “That is, when I knew all the pertinent facts, I became aware of exactly how unjust I had been.”
“Did it… did it soon make you think better of me? Did you, on reading it, give any credit to its contents?”
“How could I have doubted it?” she exclaimed in a near whisper. “That you would fabricate such dreadful slander about your own father! No, I knew it must be true from the moment I read it. Then when Major Wickham told me how you had made reparations—”
At this, Darcy looked alarmed. “I had not thought him to be so little trusted; it was not meant to be publicly known. You… you seem to be quite knowledgeable about the private details of his life.”
Elizabeth gave him a strange look. “I’m not sure I follow. The major has not shared his information with anyone other than myself, and he only did so because he felt it important that I knew the truth about your character. Otherwise I doubt he would have shared his good fortune with me, as we scarcely know one another. He only spoke to me the one time about his past with you because he had been surprised by your sudden reappearance back into his life, and I was a convenient listening ear.”
Darcy’s shoulders seemed to lift about two inches above his already tall frame. “I must admit to having wondered about the nature of your… relationship.”
“There is no relationship,” Elizabeth said firmly, looking him directly in the eye. “He is an indifferent acquaintance, nothing more.”
The hallway clock’s chiming put an end to the conversation. Mrs. Gardiner bustled into the room, looking rather scattered. “My apologies for my absence,” she said. “One of the children scraped their knee and wouldn’t be consoled for anything.”
“Not at all,” Darcy replied, rising to his feet. “Regrettably, it is long past time for me to depart. I should like to return tomorrow, if I may.”
Elizabeth shook her head. “I’m afraid I will be at the Home for Disabled Children again tomorrow in the morning. I try to visit three days a week, and with baby Angela doing so poorly…” her voice trailed off.
“Then perhaps I might escort you there?”
She looked at her aunt, who nodded. “I would be delighted to have your company, Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth said.
“Until then, Miss Bennet.”
He bowed in farewell and lifted her hand, bestowing a kiss on her gloveless knuckles. The tingling from the touch of his lips on her bare skin lasted for the remainder of the afternoon and long into the night.