Chapter 21
CLARK
I found that lying to Colin was much easier than lying to Arabella.
And far more enjoyable. My anger toward my brother had been growing steadily since our argument the day before, but I was managing to hide it well.
As far as he knew, I was meeting Arabella for a walk that morning, but I was actually visiting the printing shop.
Since I had kissed her the day before, I knew that I couldn’t pretend to be Colin any longer.
She had looked so afraid, so suspicious, and so uncertain of my feelings.
Being near her again without being able to tell her who I was would be torturous, and I still had several days to continue the ruse.
I would write her a letter to explain my absence and keep my distance until I could reveal the truth to her.
In the meantime, Colin could continue to believe that I was spending time with her and carrying on with his cruel charade.
I picked up my stack of freshly engraved cards.
The ink displayed my name, profession as solicitor, and my qualifications.
If Colin would not help circulate them to his acquaintances in town, I would do it myself.
He could not blame me for doing what I came to Bath to do, and if he wouldn’t call my debt repaid until the end of the week, then I would have to remain disguised as him while I advertised my services.
Every small act of defiance against my brother raised my spirits. His determination to hurt Arabella had drained me of every last bit of respect that remained for him.
If by some miracle she forgave me for the part I had played, then I would marry her.
I wanted to provide a living for her without remaining under Colin’s control.
I had hardly slept the night before, revisiting that moment in the stairwell over and over.
I had been wanting to kiss Arabella for some time, but I had never expected to be so impacted by the experience.
She was perfection. She had claimed my heart, and I could hardly comprehend the patience it would require for me to wait several days to see her again.
And the courage it would take to finally tell her the truth.
With a deep breath, I tucked my stack of cards into my jacket and set off toward the nearest solicitor’s office.
I spent the day strategically distributing my cards, socializing in the clubs at which Colin had a membership, and building connections with the gentlemen there.
I managed to pass several cards to men of high social standing, boasting of my ‘brother’s’ fine capabilities.
By the time I returned to Colin’s house in the Circus that evening, I was exhausted.
The sun had begun to set, the orange light deepening the golden hue of the stone. I left my hat on the table in the entrance hall and made my way upstairs, my feet dragging behind me. My thoughts drifted to Arabella again.
I needed to write her a letter.
At the top of the stairs, Colin stepped out from his bedchamber. “I thought you would never return.” He was dressed in a fitted waistcoat with countless buttons, a tight formal jacket on top. His polished boots gleamed in the candlelight.
I froze with a scowl. “Are you going somewhere?”
“Yes.” Colin adjusted his sleeves. “I never thought solitude would bother me, but I could not bear being confined here another evening. I was invited to a private ball. I’m glad you returned in time.
I couldn’t risk being seen in two places at once.
” He laughed, but the humor escaped me. There had been an underlying tension between us since we had argued the day before, though we hadn’t addressed it.
I had been glad to be out of the house all day to avoid speaking to him.
“Did you enjoy your time with Miss Sharp?” he asked. “Is she sufficiently in love with you yet?”
The question distracted me, echoing through my head.
I wanted to believe that she cared for me as I cared for her, but to hope for such a thing was dangerous.
She didn’t even know who I actually was.
My scowl deepened, and I chose to ignore his question.
“Are you not concerned that she will be at the private ball you’re attending? ”
Colin shot me a confused look. “Did you not discuss your plans for this evening when you saw her today? I would be quite surprised to find a woman of her standing at this particular party. It’s on the edge of town, hosted by the Viscount Huntington.”
I nodded. I couldn’t reveal to him that I had been avoiding my debt all day and using his connections to advertise my business instead.
“You’re right. I don’t believe she mentioned that.
” I was shocked that Colin actually wanted to venture out of the house, but I would be glad to have the house to myself for a change.
After all that had been on my mind, I wanted to write my letter to Arabella and retire early.
Colin slipped past me at the top of the stairs with a brief departing nod, leaving me alone in the flickering shadows of the candlelight.
ARABELLA
How was I to walk down that stairwell beside Newbury’s every day and not think of kissing Mr. Campbell?
I knew it was Kate who awaited me in her carriage at the bottom, but I wished it was Mr. Campbell again.
The stairwell was quite unsettling in the dark, so I hurried down and stepped out into the dim street.
My head ached from thinking too much, and my heart ached when I looked up at the sky.
Why had he not called upon me all day?
How could he have kissed me and then disappeared? It was horribly thoughtless of him. Had the kiss meant nothing?
My thoughts had been spiraling with elation and fear, but as usual, Kate had come to my rescue.
She had secured me an invitation to a ball that evening.
She had even lent me a gown to wear, and Hannah had worked swiftly to alter it that day.
I had never felt more beautiful. The green satin fabric was trimmed in tiny beads that looked like crystal.
The sulfur water had been washed clean from my hair, yet somehow it had dried softer than usual, a deeper shine reflecting off every twist and curl of my coiffure.
I met Kate in the carriage, tucking my gloved hands together in my lap. My lips pressed together. I had been determined to keep my secret, but in the dark carriage without any risk of being overheard, the words spilled out. “Mr. Campbell kissed me.”
Kate nearly jumped, moving forward to sit on the edge of the bench. “You cannot be serious.”
I nodded, falling back against the seat with a groan. “I hardly know what to think. He has not called upon me since.”
“When did this happen? Where?” Kate’s eyes gleamed with shock in the darkness.
“Yesterday, after the Roman Baths. He followed me into the stairwell by Newbury’s.”
Kate’s jaw dropped. “I knew I should have walked with you to the door.”
I covered my face with my hands. “Is it so very bad?”
She peeled one hand from my face. I peeked at her with that eye, and was relieved to see mischief and not dread on her expression. “You are the judge of that. Was the kiss bad?”
“No! Not at all.” My face burned in the dark. How could I tell her that it was the most exhilarating thing I had ever experienced? I had thought of little else all day. Well, besides the fact that he had not called upon me.
Kate laughed under her breath before her features became serious. “I do hate to say this, but there are rakes who will kiss women beneath their station only to entertain themselves.”
I looked down, my stomach sinking. “I know.”
“But.” Kate waited until I met her gaze. “This is a very useful test, I daresay.”
Kate’s calculating expression made my heart drop. Speaking of my relationship with Mr. Campbell in such logical terms told me that she didn’t understand how involved my heart had become. I was only beginning to understand it myself, and it frightened me.
Kate had described the idea of falling in love with such distaste, and I realized that I was experiencing the very things she had explained.
She had said that falling sounded out of her control, dangerous, and painful.
But was there a way to stop it once it began?
It seemed I was already spinning freely through the sky, and a crash was inevitable.
“A test?” I asked weakly.
Kate nodded. “Any respectable man will propose to a lady after kissing her. You may consider his kiss a declaration of his feelings, and his honor should bind him to you. If Mr. Campbell is not sincere, then he will not propose, and then you will finally know his true intentions.”
I took in her words with a nod, but my disappointment only seemed to flourish. “How long do you suppose he would wait to offer that proposal?”
Kate sighed. “A true gentleman would have offered it today. Did you really not hear from him at all?”
I shook my head, forcing my gaze out the window. I tugged on the fingers of my gloves, my throat tightening.
“Do not lose hope.” Kate touched my knee. “He might be planning something. I have no doubt he will call upon you tomorrow.”
I tried to gather hope from her words, but they fell hollow in my ears.
The carriage drove for several minutes before stopping outside the residence of the Viscount and Viscountess Huntington. The manor was consistent with all the butter-golden stone in Bath, though this structure was much larger than the tightly packed townhouses I had grown so accustomed to.
In the cool evening air, I linked my arm through Kate’s.
Tonight, I had only been invited as her companion.
I would likely not dance or socialize as much as she did, but I would be happy to enjoy such an elegant atmosphere.
I missed the country dearly, but I never objected to spending time in grand, glittering ballrooms.
Wearing Kate’s gown, I felt like a duchess as we glided through the front doors.
She introduced me to the viscount and viscountess, who were both gracious and lovely.
I had rarely entertained thoughts above my station, but the idea of affording such fine gowns of my own was a thrilling thought.
Even so, there was no part of me that yearned for Mr. Campbell’s fortune for any selfish reasons. I did not want his money.
I wanted him.
My heart ached as I followed Kate into the crowd gathered in the viscount’s ballroom.
Music drifted through the air, mingling with the voices and laughter of all the guests.
I couldn’t help but feel that I didn’t belong amongst such refined society.
In the heart of Bath, there were a variety of people from different stations to be found roaming the streets.
But here, everyone was powerful and wealthy, and all it took was one sweep of my gaze around the room to see it.
I felt very much like an apple on a shelf full of pineapples.
“This might be an opportunity for you to consider other prospects,” Kate whispered close to my ear. “I know of at least three eligible gentlemen in attendance.”
My stomach lurched. I didn’t want to think about considering anyone else. I couldn’t bear the idea, in fact. “I am only here as your companion. I should like to pretend to be invisible.”
Kate laughed. “In that gown? You look far too beautiful to be invisible.”
I thanked her with a smile, but my insides still twisted with apprehension. What if the sun fell again tomorrow without word from Mr. Campbell? The thought made a lump form in my throat.
I scolded myself for being so emotional.
I had fallen into a pit of dread, and I was helpless to claw my way out.
Mr. Campbell was the only man I could think about dancing with or courting or kissing.
He was the only one I wanted to imagine myself marrying.
I was angry at myself for losing my good sense when I had such an important task to accomplish.
Putting all of my hope in the hands of one man had been foolish.
“Sir William is here.” Kate stared somewhere to our left, and I followed her gaze.
There he was, a champagne flute in hand, messy blond hair falling over his forehead.
It reminded me of how Mr. Campbell had worn his hair that day in the gardens.
The style didn’t look nearly as attractive on Sir William, but that was not the point.
I forced myself to focus, taking a deep breath. Sir William glanced in our direction, eyes flashing with recognition. Did he seem glad to see me? I wasn’t quite certain. I had looked away too quickly.
My duty was to follow Kate as she socialized, so I had no choice but to remain by her side as she started in Sir William’s direction. “What are you doing?” I hissed under my breath from behind her.
She didn’t answer, but the look of determination on her face was quite revealing. I knew she was only trying to be a supportive friend, but I was not in the mood to speak with Sir William or anyone else. Perhaps she thought that if I had another prospect I would stop worrying about Mr. Campbell.
I wished that were true.
“Sir William, how do you do?” Kate greeted him with a polite curtsy, and I followed.
“Good evening, Mrs. Ollerton.” He flashed a friendly smile before his gaze shifted to me. “And Miss Sharp, what a pleasure to see you as well.”
I offered a wide smile, but it felt false. “Likewise.”
He released a content sigh as he looked up at the chandelier. “What a lovely ballroom, is it not? Nearly as grand as the assembly rooms, though much more intimate.” His eyes met mine.
“Indeed.” I felt suddenly shy, my gaze dropping to the floor.
I wasn’t trying to be coy, but for the first time, Sir William’s attention felt unwelcome.
If the results of Kate’s test were favorable, Mr. Campbell would be proposing the next day.
Surely Sir William had heard the gossip about my courtship. What reason could he have to?—
“May I have the honor of your first dance, Miss Sharp?”
I blinked in surprise. “Y-yes. You may.”
He looked quite pleased with that response. My head spun. I sensed Kate’s excitement, but all I could feel was dread. I hadn’t planned on dancing with anyone at the ball. I tried to feel comfort in knowing that I had a potential option besides Mr. Campbell, but it only intensified my distress.
It wasn’t long before the quadrille began, and Sir William led me out to the dance floor. His smile put me at ease, and I managed to enjoy the dance, execute all the steps, and even smile back. But as the last notes rang through the air, my gaze drifted toward the doorway of the ballroom.
My heart leaped.
Standing alone, brow knit together in a scowl, was Mr. Campbell.