Chapter Eleven
Bingley called upon me the next day. He sat in my sitting room and sipped tea and teased me about trying to take his bride from him.
I was disgruntled. “Have you spoken to her?”
“No, no,” said Bingley. “She is shut up in her room, and she will not talk to her brother either, because she says that she knows what he wishes her to do—which is to marry me—and she does not wish to be swayed.”
“You don’t even want to be married to her,” I growled.
“Certainly I do,” said Bingley, smiling brightly at Colonel Fitzwilliam, who was present during this conversation and mucking everything up.
Richard looked back and forth between us. “I have to say, Bingley, this is confusing behavior, your coming here to speak to Darcy. Are you going to try to talk him into dropping his suit?”
“Of course not,” said Bingley. “Though, Darcy, you have to see how quite convenient it would be for me to have a wife. A wife would be just the thing for my situation, and this wife, this one, she’s entirely perfect. I don’t see why you must go ruining it with your feelings.”
“I think you would understand,” I said. “There is someone who you would not wish to see married.”
“There is not,” said Bingley. “If you’re thinking of who I think you’re speaking of, I have even spoken at length with that person about prospective matches.”
Oh, God, of course it wasn’t the same. He and Bennet had talked about marrying their sisters.
“If you wish, you know, to… with her,” said Bingley, waggling his eyebrows. “That could be arranged.”
I shot to my feet, absolutely horrified.
“Oh, God, Darcy, please.” Bingley cast a glance at Richard.
I sat back down, glaring at Bingley.
Richard was rubbing his forehead. “This secret of Bennet’s that involves Bingley, I think I might know what it is.”
Bingley slumped into his chair. “Oh, capital. Just what we need. The colonel, fresh from the war, eager to prove what a very masculine man he is, properly horrified.”
Richard cleared his throat. “So, it is that, then.” He turned to look at me. “Is this why you’re a snail?”
“Me?” I said, touching my chest.
“No, I suppose you are quite in love with Miss Bennet.” Richard continued to rub his forehead.
“What are you planning to do, colonel?” Bingley’s voice was low and nearly musical, but there was something lethal in it.
“No, no,” said Richard. “Truthfully, being in the war, where there is the company of men and only men and… one sees things. Things are… done. So, you needn’t think that I shall…
” He leaned back in his chair and contemplated the ceiling.
“So, the idea is that you and Mr. Bennet will be companions, and that you marry his sister, and the three of you can do as you like, and her presence hides whatever you are with him, and no one thinks anything of it.”
“Yes,” said Bingley.
“And you,” said Richard to me, “you don’t really want to marry her, anyway. You spent the whole night up, raging at me, telling me you didn’t. And he just said that he would not mind—and why would he—if you were intimate with his wife.”
“Well, some precautions should probably be taken,” said Bingley. “I don’t want you getting her with child or something, if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t think she’ll agree to such a thing,” I said.
“Well, James does,” said Bingley. “He thinks that if we offer her this, she will agree to marry me, and I said that it would be much less awkward if James weren’t here for the conversation—”
“God,” I said, clutching my chest, thinking of the idea of that, Bennet coming and offering me the chance to bed his sister. “That’s disgusting.” I shook my head at Bingley. “I don’t see how you thought this conversation would go, anyway, with Richard here.”
“Yes, I had not really thought about him,” said Bingley. “I am glad that he’s being so pleasant, in the end.” He gave Richard a little smile.
“It solves all your problems, Fitz,” said Richard. “Just agree.”
“No,” I said. “That’s not what I want. This isn’t about… that.”
They both raised their eyebrows at me.
“Furthermore, she was insistent that she wait with Mr. Wickham. She said something to me about it mattering less about the eyes of society and more about the eyes of God.”
“Well, that was before she was agreeing to marry a man who buggers other men,” said Richard. “So, I think whatever concern she’s had about the eyes of God, it’s something she’s set aside.”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “And I am not going to take a woman into my bed and then let her go off and be married to someone else.”
Bingley spread his hands. “It could be an ongoing arrangement, you know? And I certainly am not going to touch her, so there’s no, erm, sharing. It would be like having a mistress you don’t have to pay for.”
“You lucky blackguard, Fitz,” said Richard. “How is it that everything just drops in your lap?” He turned to Bingley. “If he says no, do you think she’d be at all interested in me—”
“Richard,” I interrupted. “How dare you? I have asked this woman to marry me.”
He shrugged.
“No,” I said to Bingley. “The answer is no.”
“Oh, but Darcy, don’t you at least want to think about it?”
“Absolutely not,” I said. “No, and never bring up this travesty again.”
But all that night, I lay awake worrying that she would choose Bingley anyway, and that I should be left to pursuing her in that dreadful avenue if I wished to see her or that I would have no recourse but to swear her off forever, to forget all about her.
I could not forget her, however, something that became clear as days passed, one after the other, and Miss Bennet had made no decision.
I was not good company, and Richard told me so on several occasions. He was still miffed that I would not have taken Bingley’s offer, saying I was daft and idiotic.
On the fourth day after my proposal, I left the house all on my own without telling him and I went to visit Lady Susannah.
She was all astonishment that I should alight on her doorstep without any warning, but she was polite enough and she showed me in.
“Mr. Darcy, I have to say, you are the last person I should expect to come and call upon me. Do you wish to have another conversation about women ceding their property to their husbands, like your cousin did?”
“Well, no,” I said. “As far as all that is concerned, I have little thought on it at all. It sort of doesn’t matter what I think, anyway, because it is the way it is and no talking of it is going to change it.”
“I do not know if that is true. I think the first step in changing things is, indeed, talking of how it might be different,” she said. “But very well, we shall leave that. You have come upon some other errand, then.”
“I have come to plead the case for Miss Elizabeth Bennet,” I said. “I know you may have heard things about what transpired, but I wish to assure you that Miss Bennet was the wronged party—”
“Oh, dear,” said Lady Susannah. “What are you saying, sir? I have sent a letter to Miss Bennet telling her that I did not blame her at all and that after she recovers she must come back to see me.”
I gave her a slow nod. “Yes, she did indicate the letter said that, but she said also that she could read between the lines, so she does not seem to have taken it that way.”
“Well, I shall send another,” said Lady Susannah. “I have not heard the particulars, but you seem to be knowledgeable about it.”
“She was taken in by a snake of a man,” I said.
“She defended herself when he sought to harm her, however, and she came out of it intact. Personally, I think, after going through that sort of ordeal, a woman should have a bit of time to collect herself, not be thrust into trying to sort out a marriage proposal immediately to protect her from ruin.”
“I agree,” said Lady Susannah. “Is that what she is doing?”
“I have offered for her,” I said.
“Oh,” she said, looking me over.
“Yes,” I said. “But there is another offer. I suppose this is selfish, but I cannot but think that Miss Bennet is in too much of a difficult situation to think clearly at this point. I feel that if she could have the time and space to recover, she might come around to, well, to me, I suppose. This is why it’s selfish.
So, I am come to you to beg you to reinstate her as your heir, not to shun her, for it was not her fault, and…
and it may have been my fault, in the end. ”
“Your fault?”
“I did not stop that snake of a man, but left him loose on the world. I knew what he was capable of.”
“Hmm,” she said, regarding me. “Hmm.”
I took a deep breath. “I know you have some opinion about marriage in general, or perhaps simply men. And I cannot entirely account for the faults of my sex, I must say. There are men who treat women abominably, and there are other men, men who are simply thoughtless and preoccupied with other things and who accidentally treat women badly. That may have been me on a number of occasions, if I am honest. I cannot beg you to change your entire view of us—”
“Mr. Darcy,” she said, shaking her head.
“I have never intended to disinherit Miss Bennet. She has been my companion since she was but fourteen years old. She has been with me nearly daily. I would never abandon her because she was taken in by a man, of course. I also have never, ever indicated that she cannot marry. I hear that rumor all the time, but it is a falsehood.”
“I see,” I said. “I am sorry.”
“Truly, I would have married myself,” she said. “But I simply never did.”
“No?” I said. “I suppose it is none of my business why not, and I do not wish to pry.”
“Of course you wish to pry,” she said, sighing.
“Everyone does. I was just looked over, I suppose. I had my time at the balls in London society. I danced with as many men as anyone, and I even had callers, and then no one ever got around to wanting me, I suppose.” She shrugged.
“This, Trawlings, was some sort of latch-ditch effort on the part of my father to get me a match. By that time, I was rather firmly on the shelf, and I suppose I was bitter. I could have gotten married then. There were offers, but I turned them down.”
“Because you felt as if they were only offering for this estate and the income it would provide?”
“Because I was young,” she said. “Still young, then, only six and twenty, which is so young, even though people your age might not realize it. I was young, and my blood was hot, and I was hurt at being ignored for so long. I was so hurt that I acted against my own self-interests. I determined I should not take any of the attention I was getting, even though all I had wanted, all along, was attention.” She chuckled softly.
I supposed I saw what she was saying.
“I have no desire to stand in the way of Miss Bennet’s happiness,” she said.
“But I have noticed, over the years, that there are certain advantages to being a woman like myself, a woman with her name on a deed of a piece of property, a woman who can financially support herself and a household of servants, a woman who is not reliant on any man. I do not think it is preferable, necessarily, to be an unmarried woman. However, I do think that if I could have imparted any wisdom to Miss Bennet, it would be not to rely on men, not if she does not have to. To learn to stand on her own, when she can, if she can.”
“She does that,” I said, smiling faintly. “She is so very self-possessed. There is some air about her, something that I cannot quite explain, but she is like a force of nature.”
“You are in love with her,” said Lady Susannah with a smile.
“I said I had offered for her.”
“Yes, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you care for her, as you well know.”
“I do,” I said.
“Well, that bodes well, then,” she said.
Only if she chooses me, I thought. I took a deep breath.
“Well, I have succeeded in the reason I have come to see you, I suppose. You say you will write her a letter to tell her that you never meant to keep her away? She will know that she has your support and the inheritance besides, and she will not feel so desperate.”
“I shall do so immediately,” she said. “I feel awful for having caused her that sort of doubt. I never had children of my own, of course, but I love Elizabeth like my own daughter. I should have told to her to come to me straightaway, I think. It was my error to think she needed to rest. I shall rectify it.”
“My thanks,” I said.