Chapter Twelve
Then, another agonizing two days passed before I was summoned to see Miss Bennet. I arrived at Longbourn feeling edgy and anxious, worried that she had summoned me to tell me that she had chosen Bingley’s proposal.
We were not alone, but allowed to sit together in one corner of the sitting room while the rest of her family (sans her father, since he was rarely in the same room as her mother, it seemed) and the colonel spoke on the other side of the room.
We were easily observed, but we could speak in low enough voices that we would not be overheard.
“I understand I have you to thank for restoring me to Lady Susannah,” she said.
“As it happens, no restoration was necessary,” I said. “It was only a misunderstanding.”
“Yes, happily so,” she said, smiling at me. “It does change things, because it means that I could remain unattached and that even if there are dreadful rumors about me, when I go and travel with James, no one need know.”
I regarded her. “This is important to you, traveling, is it not?”
“It has always been our plan, that is all,” she said.
“I have to say, I still feel I wish to consider Mr. Bingley’s proposal, for there is something so tidy about it.
But…” She let out a little laugh and a pretty flush spilled over her cheeks.
“But I suppose I keep thinking about that thing you said to me.”
“What thing?”
“About how you should like to please me or figure out how to please me and to do it for your whole life—I don’t remember exactly. What I remember is the way you looked at me when you said it, and the way your voice…” Her blush deepened.
“I meant it,” I said, and a hoarseness had crept into my voice.
“Yes, I do not see how it is that I say no to that,” she said. “But then… you and me… where would we be? Where would we live, sir?”
“If you wish to travel—”
“No, I am not asking you to say that you will allow me to dictate everything in our marriage, for I know that you cannot. You will have responsibilities.”
She was right, of course. I could not go gallivanting all over the globe with her, not constantly.
“Well,” I said, “I have a house in London and my main house is in Derbyshire. It is called Pemberley. There are other houses in a few places. But mainly I reside at Pemberley. And London, of course. Do you wish to know what street the house is on? It is not in the most fashionable part of town, I suppose, but this changes rather too quickly—”
“No, I don’t care about fashionable streets,” she said, laughing. She was still blushing. “No, I never thought someone like me would ever have any kind of offer like that.”
“But as I say, if you want to travel, we can.”
“No, I know,” she said. “It is only that James will be here or with Mr. Bingley, I suppose. It won’t be as we planned. It will be different.”
I suddenly understood. “Is it about travel, Miss Bennet, or is it about your brother?”
Her lips parted. “Oh. What a question.” She let out a breath.
“That is why you could not choose between Bingley and me, then,” I said. “Because he would keep you close to your brother, this brother who you have grown up so close to, with whom you share all of your secrets, who shares all of his with you. This is the barrier.”
She met my gaze.
“Well, I don’t mind your brother or Bingley, as it happens,” I said. “If you wish it, I shall be quite amenable to accompanying them on whatever adventures you would like.”
The smile she gave me seemed to take over her entire visage. She was beaming. “All right, then.”
“All right, then,” I repeated, nodding.
“No, I mean, all right, then, I accept,” she said, letting out a little laugh, hand to her chest. “I shall marry you, Mr. Darcy. I shall be your wife.”
My entire body felt as if it was floating. I stood up. She stood up. She was laughing a little. I seized one of her hands.
She was still smiling like a sunbeam.
I brought her fingers to my lips. I kissed the back of her knuckles. “I am the happiest of men,” I said to her.
Bennet came to see me that evening, sending word with a servant for me to meet him outside in the darkness.
He was out there when I approached, his back to me, the collar of his jacket up against his neck, and he hunched into it against the evening breeze.
“You’re displeased,” I said. “You wished her to marry Bingley. But I have promised her that we can all be quite close. I have traveled with Bingley before, been in his company, and I shall be quite pleased to do it again if it means my wife is close to you. You are very important to her and I understand that.”
“I’m not displeased. I see it in her, what I felt when I met Charles, and I would not take that from her. I only came to tell you…”
“Tell me what?”
His voice was hard. “If you hurt her, I shall not be pleased.”
I let out a little laugh, rather liking that. “I shall keep that in mind, Bennet. You are very protective of your sister.”
He took a step toward me. “No, hear me, Darcy, because there is a way that men are with their wives, and I have seen it. They feel justified if there are slights or arguments. Why, you see the way my own father treats my mother, do you not? I want you to understand that she is my sister, and that no matter what she does, I will love her. You, as her husband, your love will be conditional to a degree. Mine never will.”
“My love will not be conditional,” I said, offended.
“You will not wish it to be, perhaps, but we all must own that there are things that can break a romantic attachment. There are things Charles could do that I would not forgive, for instance.”
“Like?”
“Well, is that your concern, really, because—”
“I simply am confused about it,” I said. “I wish an example.”
“Oh, all right, well, most men would not forgive a wife’s infidelity, for example. Most women would not forgive a man striking them.”
“Those are rather extreme examples. I hardly think—”
“There is some line for you, that is all I am saying. She is my blood, however. There is no line. If you hurt her, no matter how right you think you may be, I shall not be pleased.”
“Well,” I said, “I hardly think your sister is going to be that sort of trouble.”
“I do not know,” he said. “We have, even now, just collected her and sorted her out after a botched elopement attempt. She is, by her own admission, adventurous. Perhaps if we’d had siblings, someone younger than us, someone to be responsible for, someone else for Mother to dote on.
She is the youngest, you know. She is used to having her whims catered to. ”
“Is this some warning, Bennet? Are you trying to get me to back out of this, because you know that I cannot, even if I wished to, which I don’t. A gentlemen does not rescind a marriage proposal.”
He was quiet.
“Well, then,” I said. “You have delivered your warning, and I have heard it. Rest assured, I have no intention of hurting your sister.”
“I do not like how this has all come about, I suppose,” he said. “I feel as if the two of you have moved too quickly, and that your general dispositions… I worry you are not the right man for her.”
“I am indeed,” I said. “But I have a sister, too, so I know of what you speak. There is a feeling that no man might be good enough for her, and perhaps, yes, it is because I have memories of her as a very annoying, squalling child kicking my shins and calling me names, and I know that I loved her through all that, but I wonder if anyone else would do such a thing. I see what you mean. But I am quite, quite in love with your sister. Be assured.”
He regarded me. A long moment passed. Eventually, he nodded.
Then, we said our goodbyes and he took his leave of me.