Chapter 23
23
Finn walked around Stonehenge, trying to find the best angle from which to paint it. But even when he’d found a spot and set up his easel, he still couldn’t concentrate.
He’d got up early and, realising Jade hadn’t surfaced, he’d gone and knocked on her door. When she hadn’t responded, he’d been gripped by a sudden fear that she might not be all right. She never overslept and last night she’d complained of a headache. What if it was a delayed effect of the bang on the head when she’d slipped in the kennel? Deciding he couldn’t take the risk she might be unconscious, he’d poked his head around her bedroom door.
She’d been lying on her front, one arm tucked beneath her head, her breasts crushed against the bottom sheet. The duvet had been at the foot of the bed and he hadn’t been able to stop his gaze from travelling down her naked body. As well as the graze on her back, which looked as though it was healing nicely, there was a large bruise at the base of her spine, just above the gentle curve of her buttocks. There was another bruise at the top of one smooth thigh. Her face was peaceful, though, and she was breathing steadily. As he watched her, she stirred and murmured something. Finn closed the door, his heart beating too fast, feeling guilty that he’d intruded on her privacy.
Since he’d realised Jade’s best friend was also his long-ago one-night stand, he’d been tearing himself apart over what to do for the best. Jade obviously knew about it. He knew enough about women to know they’d have discussed it in detail, and even if he hadn’t, he’d have guessed by her attitude towards him. She’d begun to relax around him, but that had gone now. He was torn between telling her he wasn’t in the habit of having one-night stands, and saying nothing at all. Least said, soonest mended, his father would have said, and perhaps he was right.
Not that Jade had given him much chance to discuss the subject. When he’d tried, she’d shut him down. He’d sensed it would be counterproductive to push her into a corner. The best thing he could do was to let some time pass, which meant that at the moment she was off-limits, but telling himself this did nothing to make the memory of her nakedness less evocative.
He’d been celibate since Shona and he was living in the same house as a gorgeous woman whom he’d wanted to take to bed from the moment he’d seen her. Sharing her routines, using the same bathroom, knowing she was sleeping in the room just below him. He’d have had to have been a eunuch not to be affected. He shook his head to clear it, knowing that way madness lay.
His thoughts drifted to Aiden. He’d been surprised when Jade had gone out for dinner with the bumbling vet, but perhaps he’d underestimated him. They were friends, after all. Perhaps she’d hoped to negotiate better discounts. Or perhaps it was some sort of signal to him that she wasn’t available. He didn’t think she was the type to play games, but then he still knew hardly anything about her .
Dismissing Aiden, he forced himself to concentrate on the ancient stones he was trying to sketch. Beyond them, the sky was a backdrop of blue with only the occasional cloud to break it, but despite the glorious spring weather there weren’t many people about. Jade had told him that in another couple of weeks the place would be flooded with tourists. Today was a good day to come.
He worked for another couple of hours, the air soft on his face, the peace of the countryside slowly seeping into his mind. Then he got up and stretched and walked around a bit. Time to find himself a pub lunch.
It was after six when he got back to Duck Pond Cottage. Aiden’s jeep wasn’t around, he saw with relief. He had a feeling he’d seen quite a bit more of Jade this morning than Aiden ever had and he was not anxious to bump into him for a while. He wasn’t keen on bumping into Jade either, come to that. What if some half-formed memory of him opening her door had been sharpening in her mind during the day? Perhaps she’d already packed his bags and was about to tell him he was sacked?
He parked the Toyota and opened the back to get his painting things out. When he straightened, he saw Jade coming down the yard. Seeing him, she frowned and came hurrying across.
‘Hi, Finn, I’m glad you’re back. Have you got a minute? I’d like a quick word.’
Finn looked guilty, Jade noticed as they went into the cottage. He’d jumped out of his skin when she’d spoken.
‘Did you have a productive day?’ she asked. ‘Get much done?’
‘Yeah, not bad, thanks. Very relaxing.’
He didn’t look at all relaxed. She smiled at him. ‘If you’re rushing off somewhere it can wait. It’s not important.’
‘I’m not rushing off.’ He leaned on the door frame of the lounge. ‘Fire away.’
‘There’s a broken fence post in the dog-walking field and there’s a little gap that leads out on to the road. I noticed it the other day, but I forgot to tell you. I’m worried a dog might get loose and go through there.’
‘That’s what you wanted to talk to me about?’
‘Yes. Oh, and I also wanted to say that you really must have a day off in the week too. You must think I’m a slave driver.’
‘Not at all. You’re not exactly a slacker yourself, are you?’
She flushed. ‘But I’m doing it for the love of it, Finn. You don’t have to work such long hours. I probably don’t tell you enough, but I really appreciate having you around.’ She paused and flicked him an anxious glance. ‘Wasn’t there something you wanted to talk to me about?’
He hesitated. Would now be a good time? She looked on edge. He decided it would be better to wait. He wanted her to listen to him, to trust him, and she had to be relaxed for that.
‘It’ll keep.’
The relief on her face told him he’d said the right thing.
Jade waited until she was sure he’d gone to bed at the top of the house, then closed the lounge door and phoned Sarah, who rarely went to bed before midnight.
‘Have you decided what you’re going to do about Finn?’ she said, launching straight in. ‘Because he’s been acting really strangely today and I think he might have guessed. I asked him what was on his mind just now, but he didn’t want to discuss it. ’
‘He can’t have guessed,’ Sarah said stubbornly. ‘Why on earth would he connect Ben with himself when he thinks Callum’s his dad? Anyway, he said he couldn’t remember what had happened.’
‘I think he was lying, so as not to embarrass you. He’s that type of bloke.’
‘So as not to embarrass himself, more like,’ Sarah snapped. ‘It takes two, you know. I didn’t drag him into that field.’
Jade flinched. She knew she was torturing herself, but she couldn’t get the image of Sarah and Finn, backed up against a tree, or wherever it had happened, out of her head. She knew they’d been drunk and very young, but they’d still wanted each other, hadn’t they? And they’d still produced Ben, so she couldn’t even kid herself it had just been a desperate fumbling where not much had really happened.
‘Jade, please give me a bit longer.’ A note of fear had crept into Sarah’s voice and Jade sighed.
‘How much longer? A week, a few weeks, a few months? I hate this. I hate seeing him every day and knowing the truth. He’s a nice bloke. He’s going to be really hurt.’
‘Yes, I know, but I’ve got to think of Ben. And there’s Callum. I’ve got to find the right time to tell him, too. I love him, Jade. I’m scared of buggering things up between us.’
‘But isn’t sooner going to be better than later? And Callum loves you. It’s not as though he thinks Ben’s his.’
‘No, but I told him Ben’s father didn’t want to know. I told him I’d had a relationship with this much older guy who left when I got pregnant. I know I should have told him the truth, but I wasn’t expecting anyone to turn up and prove me a liar!’
Her voice was getting lower with each sentence, but Jade heard the message loud and clear. Of course Sarah wouldn’t have told Callum about something of which she was deeply ashamed. She wanted him to think she was an independent single mother who’d been abandoned by the father of her child – just as she’d been abandoned by everyone else in her life. That she’d come through it all by her own strength of character. She didn’t want the man she loved to see the flaws, the desperate insecurity that had been behind her decision not to contact a man whose name she hadn’t even known.
In some ways, Jade couldn’t blame her. Perhaps she’d have done the same in her place.
‘And Jade, there’s been a development I haven’t told you about. Callum proposed yesterday. I’ve said yes. If I tell him the truth, the whole thing will be off. I can’t risk it.’
‘Congratulations,’ Jade whispered, feeling a deep sadness welling up in her because once she wouldn’t have had to call Sarah to find out this news. A few weeks ago, Sarah would have been straight on the phone.
‘We’re coming over at the weekend to tell you officially so pretend you don’t know. And, Jade, please don’t say anything to Finn. Let me do this my way.’