Chapter 24
24
Blossom the colour of pink candyfloss was everywhere, and new grass had sprung up in the fields. Pink lilies appeared on the duck pond and the young female mallard Jade had nursed back to health had rejoined her emerald-headed partner. Every time Jade saw the duck couple, her heart warmed that she’d had a hand in their survival and when a string of yellow fluffballs appeared on the pond, she felt almost as proud as the new mallard mum.
There were hundreds of lambs, too. Aiden had been rushed off his feet with lambing and hadn’t been such a frequent visitor. Jade felt relieved, even though she could never see lambs skipping after their mothers without feeling a pang of bittersweet poignancy, knowing they were destined for the table. Despite the fact Jade had been vegetarian since she was fifteen, she turned a blind eye to Finn cooking meat in her kitchen, although the subject had come up.
‘I won’t do it if it bothers you,’ he said one morning when he saw her wrinkling up her nose as he fried bacon and sausages and Mickey watched him in anticipation, knowing he’d get a bit of sausage if he hung about .
‘I’m not judging you, Finn. Do what you like. Just make sure you don’t use my best non-stick pan, you’ll wreck it.’
‘Wouldn’t dream of it. Doesn’t the smell of frying bacon get your taste buds going even a bit?’
‘Nope.’ She shot him a glare, and he didn’t push it.
Later that day, when they went to collect some new fence panels, a rabbit ran across the road in front of the car and he only just missed it.
‘Why don’t you try driving a bit slower?’ she snapped.
On the return journey, Finn insisted she drive and when she’d slammed on the brakes to avoid something else in the road and a fence post had nearly skewered him in the back, he’d said crossly, ‘For goodness’ sake, Jade, was that really bloody necessary?’
‘I didn’t want to hit it. What was it anyway?’
He glanced out of the window. ‘Can’t tell, you’ve flattened it. Poor little thing.’ Then, seeing her shocked expression, he’d winked. ‘You just killed a defenceless plastic bag, Jade.’
For a moment he’d thought she was going to slap him, then she’d giggled and they’d both ended up in fits of laughter.
Apart from the lambs, spring was Jade’s favourite season. Even the air smelt new, crisp and lemony with a hint of the summer that was to come. Rosanna was back from Puddleduck Pets. Finn had helped her collect the mare this time, as Aiden had been so busy, and again Jade had thought how lovely Maggie Crowther was.
In an effort to repay her kindness, she’d brought back a cat with eight kittens that had landed on Maggie’s doorstep out of the blue. Maggie had been really grateful. Apparently she had a half-feral cat called Saddam who roamed around Puddleduck Farm and made things extra tricky. Jade had already got homes lined up for three of the kittens.
She had also decided to re-home Ashley, her frisky horse. Hopefully, this would happen before Rosanna came into season again. He was a handsome fellow and Jade had mentioned in her advert that the low price she was asking reflected some behavioural issues he had, which would be fully discussed with any potential owner.
Candy’s pups had all gone to new homes, apart from Tiny. Jade told everyone that he needed a bit longer than the rest of the litter, being the weakest, but the truth was she didn’t want to let him go. It was stupid, she knew. You couldn’t afford to get sentimental about one perfectly rehomable puppy. Not when you had a whole kennel full of other dogs; but there was something special about Tiny. In her mind, Tiny’s progress was tied up with the rescue centre’s future and, in some strange way, her own.
It was superstitious nonsense, she knew, not far removed from the challenges she’d set herself when she was a child. If she could get down the whole street without treading on the cracks in the pavement then she’d have a good day at school. If she got top marks in maths, which she hated, then her mother would pick her up instead of sending the childminder. Life wasn’t like that. You couldn’t make bargains with some deity. But, however irrational it was, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that Tiny’s survival was tied up with the future of Duck Pond Rescue. If she kept him safe, the rescue would survive too. And the only way she could keep him safe was to keep him here with her.
Candy, though, would be going soon. Reg had called to arrange his home check, and Finn, who’d happened to take the call, had asked Jade if he could go with her to do it.
‘Why?’ she’d asked, curious. It was the first time he’d shown an interest in anything directly concerned with an animal.
‘I just want to see what excuse you’re going to find to say he can’t have her,’ he’d replied with a wry smile. ‘Or are you going to be more professional than that and put Candy’s welfare first?’
‘I always put the animal’s welfare first,’ she’d said, ‘not that it’s got anything to do with you.’
‘So can I come then? You can take me for a drink afterwards if you like.’
She’d been so taken aback she’d agreed, and they’d driven round to Reg Arnold’s in her Land Rover. Despite what she’d told Finn, she had been thinking of saying Reg couldn’t have Candy. Not because she didn’t like the man, but because anyone as tight-fisted as Reg might skimp on looking after an animal. What would happen if Candy needed expensive veterinary treatment?
Jade parked outside the address that Reg had given her and they both got out and looked at the house.
‘Bit posh,’ Finn said, echoing her thoughts. He peered over the fence that surrounded an impressively large garden. ‘Nice lot of space for a dog to run around. Candy would love it.’
She stood beside him. The garden was what an estate agent would have referred to as ‘mature’. A long, sloping lawn flanked with bushes and trees led up to a big conservatory. The house itself was encircled by a gravel driveway, where Reg’s delivery van and a five-year-old Jaguar were parked.
‘Blimey, so that’s what he does with his money. He could afford to wait weeks longer for his accounts.’
‘Ah, but then he probably wouldn’t be able to afford this lot.’ Finn clicked his tongue. ‘Made up your mind, then, have you, Jade?’
Ignoring him, she let them through the five-bar gate and they walked towards the house.
‘Aiden’s got a nice garden too,’ Jade commented as they waited on the front doorstep. She glanced at Finn. ‘How are you getting on with him, these days?’
‘I don’t think we’re ever going to be best buddies,’ he replied, but was saved from having to comment further when Reg opened the door.
‘Come in, come in. Nice to see you both.’ He ushered them into a country farmhouse kitchen, which wouldn’t have looked out of place in a glossy magazine, and made them both coffee.
Supermarket own brand, Jade thought uncharitably, as he showed them the place next to the range oven where he planned to put Candy’s basket.
‘I just need to check your garden’s secure,’ she said, aware of Finn’s eyes on her, but despite walking all the way round the quarter-acre plot, she couldn’t find anywhere the little lurcher could possibly squeeze through.
‘Can I have her, then?’ Reg asked when they got back to the house again. ‘Have I passed the test?’
‘With flying colours,’ she said, not looking at Finn. ‘Just one question. Why do you want to take on a rescue dog? Why don’t you just buy a Labrador puppy?’
‘I like to do my bit.’ Reg rubbed his hands together. ‘As you know, Jade. Now, about your latest account. Maybe a little discount would help?’
‘That’s very generous, Reg. Thank you. There’s an adoption fee payable when you come to collect Candy. Her inoculations are up to date, but she’ll still need to be spayed. Either you can go through your own vet, or ours might be cheaper. If money was an issue, I mean?’
He cleared his throat. ‘Of course. I’ll – er – pop in next week and we’ll discuss it.’
Afterwards, Jade drove Finn to the Red Lion and bought him a drink, as agreed.
‘Satisfied yourself about my professional abilities?’ she asked as she put the glass down in front of him.
‘Perfectly. I was very impressed.’ He winked. ‘So you can’t always judge people from what you see on the surface, can you?’
‘And what’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Well, you thought Reg was an old skinflint who’d be a totally unsuitable dog owner, didn’t you? But closer inspection proved that not to be the case. Am I right?’
She didn’t answer and he sipped his pint of Guinness and went on idly, ‘And I thought you were a crazy, idealistic animal lover, but there’s a lot more to you than that, isn’t there?’
‘I should hope so.’ She met his steady gaze. ‘If I was just a crazy, idealistic animal lover I probably wouldn’t have got this far. I’d have given up after the first three months when I found out that running a rescue is flaming hard work. Anyway, Finn McTaggart, enough about me, what about you?’
‘What about me?’ His voice was soft. ‘What would you like to know, Jade?’
She wouldn’t ask him about Sarah, she decided. Or about whether it was a regular thing for him to jump into bed with women he didn’t know. Partly because she didn’t want to spoil the easiness of the moment – she’d missed this easiness so much – and partly because she wasn’t sure she’d like his answer. Besides, what business was it of hers what he’d done in the past? She thought about the photo of the little boy in his wallet. She couldn’t ask about that either, since she wasn’t supposed to know it was there.
She stared into her orange juice, aware he was waiting for her to respond, and kept her voice deliberately light.
‘I don’t know. Stuff. Like, have you got any brothers and sisters? What your dad does, that sort of thing. ’
‘OK. No brothers and sisters, and Dad’s retired now, but he was a miner until the pit closed down. How’s that?’
Jade would have liked to ask more about his mother, but she sensed that he’d clam up completely if she did, so she changed tack. ‘Are you close to your dad? You could ask him down for a holiday some time, if you like? You said he likes dogs, didn’t you?’
‘Yes, he does like dogs. Thanks, I might do that.’
‘I promise I won’t interrogate him too much. What’s his name?’
‘Ray. And he’d probably enjoy being interrogated by you, Jade. Do you want another drink?’
She shook her head, and, before she could lose her nerve, went on softly, ‘So why did you really move down from Nottingham, Finn? It must be quite a culture shock living here.’
He met her eyes steadily. ‘I’ve always liked it here. I was down every summer when I was a kid. I was close to my grandparents. And there was nothing really to tie me to Nottingham when I lost my job. Apart from Dad, of course, but he’s got a full social life. He belongs to a working men’s club and he’s got his old cronies from mining. Although there aren’t as many as there used to be. They’re all getting on a bit – and not many miners live to a great old age.’
Jade picked up a beer mat and twiddled it nervously. ‘The girl you lived with in Nottingham – did she have any children? You don’t have to tell me. If it’s private… you know…’
‘It’s not private. Yes, Shona had a little boy.’ He rummaged for his wallet and Jade felt her face burn as he slipped out the photo she’d seen and slid it across the table. ‘This is Stewart. You’ve seen this photo already, though, haven’t you?’
‘It fell out of your wallet when you first started working for me.’ She knew how unlikely that must sound. ‘I wasn’t prying, truly. But yes, I did see it.’
‘Shona was married to my best friend, Andy,’ Finn went on with a wry smile, so she wasn’t sure whether he believed her or not. ‘I was best man at their wedding. I was close to both of them, but then Andy started drinking heavily. It was soon after Stewart was born – I don’t think he could handle the responsibility of being a parent.’ His face clouded and Jade felt a tug of guilt because the one thing she was sure about was that Finn would make an excellent father.
‘Andy started knocking her about,’ Finn continued quietly. ‘One evening he broke her arm because the carrots in his stew weren’t cooked properly. She told me about it. She didn’t want to tell me – she was desperately ashamed that it was somehow her fault – but she was terrified he might start on Stewart.’
‘My God,’ Jade whispered. ‘That’s awful. What happened?’
‘She left him. She and Stewart came to live with me for a while because she didn’t have anywhere else to go. I cared about them both.’
He hesitated. ‘Andy found out where they were, turned up one night and gave me a good hiding. I pressed charges and he ended up in prison. Which was actually the best thing that could have happened in some ways, because he got treatment for his drink problem.’
‘And you ended up with Shona?’ Jade asked, fascinated.
‘We were never a proper couple,’ Finn told her, raising his eyebrows, and Jade wondered whether he meant they didn’t sleep together, but his next words shattered this. ‘Basically, she needed someone and I was there. We sort of drifted together, but I was a lot more involved with Shona than she was with me. She still loved Andy, you see. When he came out of prison, she went back to him. I think I always knew she would.’
He sipped his pint, his eyes serious. ‘I shouldn’t have got involved – in any sense of the word, I guess. But it’s difficult not to in a situation like that.’
‘And are they OK now?’ Jade asked, wanting more than anything to take his hand, but not sure if he’d let her. He certainly didn’t want her sympathy; she could see that in his face.
‘Yes, I think so. Dad keeps a discreet eye on them both. He lives nearby. Dad would let me know if they needed me. He adores Stewart; he takes the lad fishing. He’s the grandson he never had.’
His eyes held hers and eventually she had to drop her gaze. Finn had a son and Ray had a grandson and they should be sharing his life, but they didn’t even know he existed. Jade ached with the deceit of it all.
‘It’s OK,’ he murmured, catching her stricken look. ‘I’m over Shona. I got more involved than I should have done. I knew deep down she was always going to go back to Andy and I’m glad that they’re happy. Even if I did lose a mate. Are you sure you don’t want another drink?’
She couldn’t sit here any more, listening to him opening his heart when she couldn’t do the same. She forced lightness into her voice. ‘No, I guess we should get back. Getting out for a while feels like playing truant from school.’
His eyes warmed. ‘I’ve never met anyone who works as hard as you do.’
‘Is that supposed to be a compliment?’
‘Yeah, I guess it is.’ He leaned across and picked up their glasses and for a second he was very close to her. She could smell the faint citrus smell of something he wore and she felt a little shiver of excitement run through her. She glanced at him and their eyes held and Jade knew he was as conscious of her as she was of him. Supercharged with awareness, she couldn’t breathe. He dropped his gaze and got up to take their empty glasses across to the bar. Jade hugged her arms around herself and tried to get the bittersweet ache of longing out of her throat. By the time he came back, loping in that casual, easy way he had, she was in charge of her breathing again.
They drove back in companionable silence and Jade thought once again about Sarah. Since she and Callum had come over to announce their engagement, they’d been rushing around organising things and hadn’t been over to the rescue much. And although Jade knew the real reason why Sarah kept away, she’d tried to put it to the back of her mind. Fortunately, Finn hadn’t asked about Sarah. Neither had he mentioned the painting lessons he’d offered Ben. Maybe he felt embarrassed about their past encounter. Whatever the reason he kept quiet, Jade was relieved.
Let Sarah have her happiness. Until this conversation with Finn, she’d even begun to think Sarah might be right. What Finn didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. But now the doubts that had nagged at the corners of her mind came crowding back. Finn wasn’t just some faceless stranger any more. He was the sort of person who cared – he’d put himself in danger to protect someone else’s wife and child. Jade was very aware that he must have known exactly what he was risking when he’d taken in Shona and Stewart, but he’d done it anyway.
She sighed as Finn pulled up outside Duck Pond Rescue and he looked at her quizzically.
‘Penny for them.’
‘I was just thinking about what you said in the pub.’
‘Ah – my murky past,’ he said dryly. ‘You must tell me about yours some time, Jade.’
‘Yes,’ she gulped, leaping out of the car and hurrying towards the house. Fleetingly she hated Sarah for putting her in this position, but she hated herself more. What would Finn do when he found out the truth and the part she’d played in keeping it from him?