Chapter 11
Spencer
It was shocking to hear what had happened to Beth during the last stage of her pregnancy. The frustration of not being there to help was sitting heavy on Spencer. He was sure with the right frame of mind she would have been able to navigate the situation better. Had he known, he would have asked a ton of questions, and got her the best care.
Beth seemed a little more comfortable in his presence now. She was still clutching one of Archie’s blankets to her lap, and he wondered if she would up and leave any moment, taking his son with her.
The time spent with Archie was short, but it had been enjoyable, and even the baby had settled. Spencer wasn’t ready to say goodbye. He liked having his son around all the time.
‘Let me get you that tea,’ he suggested, removing himself from her big chocolate eyes. He pottered around in the kitchen as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb Archie, glad of a moment without needing to fill the space between him and Beth, then handed her the tea and sat back down.
‘Thanks,’ she said softly.
‘So what now?’ he asked, needing to get it off his chest. ‘How do you want to play this?’ He flapped one hand between them. ‘You and me?’
She was hiding her face in the cream mug. ‘I, erm, I’m not sure.’
‘Do you want me to look after Archie for a bit longer?’ He hoped she’d say yes, as he wanted time to bond.
Those dark eyes were on him again. He could see the sadness sitting there. ‘I’m not sure. It was nice having a break, but at the same time, it felt strange not having him around.’ She breathed out a small laugh. ‘I’m not sure if I can get much rest. When he was here, I was still worried about him.’
‘That’s understandable. But I want you to know he’s in good hands. Even my sister came to help with her partner.’
Beth smiled. It was weak, but a smile all the same. ‘You could be Mary Poppins, and I’d still worry. I can’t help it. I overthink and imagine all sorts of things going wrong. Jan said I won’t always feel this way.’
Spencer took a mouthful of tea, not really wanting it, but it gave him time to think. The last thing he wanted was to say something that had the potential to make matters worse. She’d been through enough, and Jan was right, Beth needed respite.
‘I’m surprised you haven’t asked the big question,’ she said, pulling his attention back.
‘What’s that?’
‘If he’s really yours.’
Spencer glanced at the pram. ‘He looks like my little sister. Besides, I’d still help you and Archie if you needed it.’
‘You’re one of life’s helpers, aren’t you?’ Her soft smile widened. ‘I looked you up. Saw you and your sister on your shop’s website.’
‘We all need help from time to time.’ It wasn’t something he wanted to focus on. He liked helping people. It wasn’t a big deal.
Beth leaned towards him. ‘I want you to know Archie’s definitely your son. The last person I slept with before you was over two years before, and there was no one after. Now I’ve had more time to study your face, I can see he favours your side of the family.’
Spencer was sure his cheeks flushed a little. Should they talk about their shared night in the hotel room? ‘Erm, about that night we spent together.’
‘We’re grown-ups. We had a one-night stand. It happens. No point going over it.’
‘Right.’
They both sipped their tea, avoiding eye contact.
‘So,’ said Spencer, the silence getting the better of him. ‘How about we get to know each other properly?’
Beth nodded. ‘Tell me some stuff about you.’
That was his least favourite topic. He only felt he found himself after Lottie’s accident. Anything prior wasn’t much to write home about. Catastrophe sprang to mind.
Spencer gulped some tea, then sat back. She deserved to know his truth. Scratching his head, he wondered where best to start.
Beth laughed. ‘That bad?’
‘Complicated.’
‘We don’t have to do this now. Perhaps we should slow down.’
Spencer lowered his arm. ‘It’s okay. I’d rather you know the rest of me.’ His face flushed. ‘Wait, that came out wrong. I didn’t mean because you’ve had my body, not that you really had my body as such, what I mean is . . . I was talking about what you already discovered about me by yourself. Alone. Not with me.’
Beth’s laugh was muffled by her hand. ‘I knew what you meant.’
‘Good, because I got a bit lost then.’
‘Yes, that red tint creeping up your neck told me that.’
Spencer touched his neck. ‘Dead giveaway, isn’t it?’
Beth shuffled in her seat, pointing at her feet. ‘Would it be okay if I took my boots off?’
‘Yes, of course. You might as well get comfy if you’re going to listen to my story.’ He waited for her to settle again, pleased to see a hint of peace in her eyes.
‘I’m ready for your epic tale.’
Spencer breathed a laugh out of his nose. ‘Epic could be one word, but I’m going to give you the short version, or it’s quite possible we’ll still be here this time next year.’ He followed her gaze around his flat.
‘That’s okay. It’s nice here.’
He’d always thought it practical.
‘Has a homely vibe,’ she added.
‘It’s pretty plain.’
‘I can feel positive energy here.’
Spencer smiled. ‘I do try.’
‘My flat is cold. Feels like someone died there. Probably my spirit.’ She shook her head, then met his eyes once more. ‘Have you lived here long?’
‘A while, I guess. The flat came with the shop, and my aunt owned both, but we lived in her house up Berry Hill. That’s where I grew up. Aunt Rebecca adopted us.’ He paused, letting that part sink in before he hit her with the main story.
‘What happened to your parents?’ she asked quietly. A question he’d answered numerous times, mostly as a child.
‘Okay, what I’m about to tell you is the kind of stuff you hear about on the evening news. Excuse me if I sound nonchalant, but it’s an old story, and I’m quite detached from it now, especially because of how many times I’ve repeated it over the years.’
‘Oh, you don’t have to tell me, if it bothers you.’
‘It doesn’t, but before I start, I want you to know that my past will never come into contact with you or Archie. Basically, what I’m trying to say is, he doesn’t have grandparents to visit on my side.’
‘Nor on mine.’
Spencer lightly tapped her hand, then pulled back quickly, not wanting to do anything inappropriate. ‘I’m sorry for your loss.’
Beth’s eyes said a thank you.
‘Right, let me spit this out. I don’t normally make a pig’s ear out of it. My parents were heroin addicts, and when my little brother was six months old, they killed him because he was crying. I was eight at the time. Lottie two. We were placed in care, then my aunt came and, well, I guess she rescued us from our nightmare. So, you see, Beth, I know what it’s like to live with fear. I also know how to take care of a baby because I had to look after my siblings, and I know what love looks like, thanks to Rebecca.’ He motioned towards the pram. ‘I’m not my parents. I’m my aunt. Archie would never live the life I had to. He will always be loved.’
Beth was still for a moment, no doubt absorbing his childhood. ‘I’m sorry you lived through that, and I’m glad you had your aunt.’
‘Me too. I dread to think where I’d be now if it wasn’t for her. Didn’t put me on the straight and narrow for a long while, and even as a grown man I never settled.’ He lowered his eyes for what he was about to say next. ‘I used to sleep around a lot. Not thinking much of myself. Lottie would say I needed to up my self-esteem, but I ignored her, not wanting to put myself in a position where I might allow someone to hurt me. So, I’d love them and leave.’ He felt the need to apologize. ‘Sorry.’
‘Don’t apologize to me. I wanted a one-night stand too, but just so you know, it was my only one, and nothing I care to repeat. Oh, no offence. Nothing to do with you. You were . . . I just mean, it’s not the road I wish to travel.’
Spencer smiled. ‘Don’t blame you. After my sister was run off her bicycle and lost the use of her legs, I decided to change my life. The man you see now was only invented a couple of years back. What happened with you was a setback.’ He slapped one hand to his head. ‘That sounded terrible.’
‘Don’t stress. I know what you mean. How crazy though. There’s you, not wanting to do that sort of thing anymore, and me thinking it worth a try, and now look at us.’ She turned to Archie. ‘Maybe he was supposed to be born. Perhaps he’s destined to go on to do great things.’
‘Well, let’s hope so.’ Spencer met her gaze as it slowly came back his way. ‘I think we should agree to make up something magical about how we met, because we can hardly tell our boy about our one-night stand when he’s older and asks how we met.’
‘Are you trying to say our moment of madness wasn’t magical?’
Spencer dropped his smile, then realized she was joking. ‘Hmm. Well, where were we? Ah, yes, me and my epic life. Actually, I think I came to the end. Now we know each other’s nightmares. I guess you know the rest about me. Where I work and volunteer.’
Beth gave a firm nod. ‘Spencer Jordan, helper.’
‘So, what about you? Did you have a good childhood?’
Beth shrugged one shoulder. ‘I guess. My mum died when I was a toddler, so I grew up with my dad and his mum. He moved us down this way from Bristol, then Gran passed away when I hit twenty, and it was just me and Dad until a couple of years back. Pearl’s my only cousin, and most of my friends are work colleagues.’
‘What do you do?’
‘Primary school teacher.’
‘Ah, so that’s why you were at the conference.’
She nodded. ‘Been thinking about becoming a SEN teacher, perhaps after maternity leave.’
‘Speaking of which,’ he said hastily. ‘I want you to know I’ll help with child support.’
‘Oh, that’s not why I brought him to you.’
‘I know, but I want to do my part. I want to be in his life, Beth. I want to help you both.’ He tried to steady his breathing while she mulled it over.
‘I didn’t know what I was doing when I left him on your doorstep.’ She pointed at the window. ‘I watched him. Waited for you to take him inside. I thought he’d be better off. But Jan told me I wasn’t a bad person, and, well, you know the rest. Anyway, now I’m here, I can see he’s been looked after, and I can tell you already think a lot of him. So, yes, I’d love you to be part of his life, but I don’t expect you to do anything for me. Just Archie.’
‘If it makes you feel any better, you could help me too.’
‘In what way?’
Spencer was pleased he’d caught her interest. One of the things he’d learned from helping to build the Hub was, helping others helped you. He figured if he could get Beth in there it might just benefit her too. ‘You could assist me when it’s my shift at the Hub.’ He pointed at the pram. ‘We can take little man with us. He won’t tear up the place, I’m sure.’
Beth smiled. ‘What would I have to do?’
‘We have a small food bank there. You could help make up some parcels to hand out.’
‘I can do that. Okay, it would be nice to do something.’
‘Yeah, I got the feeling you’ve been cooped up most days.’
‘Feels like forever.’
Spencer wondered if he should tell her his other idea.
‘You look like you’ve something to add,’ said Beth. ‘After tonight, I think we can clearly say honesty works for us.’
He nodded. ‘You’re right. It certainly came easy. So, I was thinking, and please don’t feel obligated, I’m just throwing it out there, but how would you feel about moving in here for a few days?’ He gestured to the bedroom closest to the bathroom. ‘I have a spare room. No funny business or anything, just you getting to be around Archie all the time but resting as much as you like. I’ll help until you feel stronger, and you can come out and about with me whenever you like to the Hub or the flower shop. It’s just an idea.’
‘I can’t expect you to give up your life.’
‘I’m not. I’m just adding you two into the mix.’
Beth scoffed. ‘You make it sound as though looking after a baby is easy.’
He shook his head, remembering how he cared for Jordy and Lottie when he was so young himself. ‘I know it’s not, but it has to be easier if there are two of us doing it. You’re not alone anymore, Beth.’
Beth looked to be mulling over the idea.
‘Just a few days,’ he added quietly.
The wait was more nerve-wracking than expected, leaving him questioning his idea more than once. Was he being a fool? No, he was sure he wasn’t. She needed help, and he was there, stepping up. He rolled his shoulders back, clicking his stiff neck. Even if she declined, he would still find a way to reschedule his diary so he’d have time for Archie. With more staff at the flower shop, he could take time off in the week, as there was no way he could push back the Sunshine Superheroes at the weekend. They needed him too.
Beth shifted, capturing his attention. ‘Okay,’ she replied softly. ‘Let’s give it a try.’