Chapter 31
Spencer
Spencer couldn’t stop smiling as he walked around the kindness festival. So many people had turned up for the event and many stalls held all sorts of useful information.
Having spent most of the morning helping to set up, he was taking a moment to relax with a coffee and absorb the positive atmosphere.
Bonnie and Chris were in his eyeline, holding hands and laughing while their sons were drawing pictures with other kids in the Sunshine Centre’s large tent.
With so much to be happy about, he just wished he hadn’t done a paternity test now. It kept coming back to play on his mind, and it all seemed so simple online, so he’d ended up ordering a test, mostly to close down the niggle. Ever since he’d sent it off, he’d held regrets, more so for not discussing it with Beth. There wasn’t much he could do now but wait for the email to come through. Perhaps then he would stop feeling so guilty about the secrecy and tell Beth what he had done. Or maybe not. He really hated the confusion.
The squeal of a child had him return to the present moment. Smiling, Spencer turned to see Samuel approach.
‘Looks like you had the same idea as me,’ said Samuel, raising his disposable coffee cup.
‘I haven’t even had a chance to say happy birthday to you. Happy birthday.’ He tapped his cup on Samuel’s. ‘Nice day for it.’
Samuel glanced up at the clear blue sky. ‘I’m too busy to think about it.’
‘Lottie said you don’t like a fuss. I’m the same. Not that she pays much attention to what I want, as you saw when it was my day.’
Samuel laughed. ‘Yeah, she managed to talk me into dinner tonight with my sister and Felix.’
Spencer glanced over at Hannah and Felix snuggled together by the paintings they were selling for the centre. ‘How’s your sister getting on since you moved in with mine?’
‘She’s good. Loved up, as you can see.’ Samuel sipped his drink, then glanced over at Lottie. ‘Life’s a lot easier when you’ve got a good partner by your side.’
It wasn’t something Spencer had thought about until he fell for Beth.
Samuel turned back to him. ‘What about you? You okay?’
‘Did Lottie send you over to interrogate me about my relationship with Beth?’
‘Sounds like her, doesn’t it?’ Samuel grinned. ‘But no. I was just asking.’ He patted Spencer’s shoulder. ‘I’m glad it all worked out for you, mate.’
Spencer could feel his smile deep within his heart. He’d never felt so complete before. Watching Samuel head over to Lottie made his smile widen. He was so pleased his sister had so much love in her life, and now he did too.
‘Hey, Spencer,’ called Ryan, jogging over. ‘Dad brought me.’
Spencer looked around for the boy’s dad. ‘I’m glad he brought you. Where is he?’
‘Looking around. I told him I’d be with Leo and Jax.’
Spencer gestured towards the large tent. ‘They’re over there. Oh, and Ryan,’ he added as the lad went to run off, ‘make sure you let your dad know you’ll be here helping to clear up later.’
Ryan nodded. ‘Yep.’
‘Excuse me, Spencer, right?’
Spencer turned to see a middle-aged woman smiling his way. ‘Yes, how can I help?’
‘I was wondering if the Hub was still open today? I was going to pop in on my way home.’
Spencer nodded. ‘Yeah. Jed and Luna are in there all morning.’
‘Oh, I know them. That makes things a lot easier.’ Her face flushed as she looked away.
‘Easier?’
‘My daughter just had a baby, and she’s got no fella and is struggling financially. It’s all falling to me to help, but I’ve not got much myself. Her health visitor mentioned a baby bank, so I was going to check it out. See what help was on offer.’
Spencer was feeling proud of Beth for setting up the baby bank, but he was also feeling sorry for the people needing one. He still struggled whenever someone came into the Hub for food, but just like always, he offered a warm smile and any advice he had to give. ‘Definitely pop over.’ He motioned towards Beth. ‘Or go speak to that lady there. She’s handing out information about the baby bank today. Oh, and let your daughter know about a parent and baby group over in the church hall.’ He gestured towards the steeple of the stone-built church in the near distance.
‘Yes, we just heard about that.’ The woman thumbed behind her. ‘We got some info from their stall.’
‘It’s so good there. Been myself with my girlfriend.’ The mere reminder that Beth was now his girlfriend caused a hundred butterflies to take flight in his stomach.
‘Thanks for your help,’ she said, waving over at a young woman pushing a pram her way. ‘I’ll take my daughter over to the baby bank stall. Lucky you pointed it out. I missed that one.’
Spencer headed over to Shelby’s stall to see if she needed any help, but she told him she was doing okay and that there had been a lot of interest in the parent and baby group. He smiled, pleased people near and far were seeing how much help was available in Port Berry.
Beth looked quite animated behind the tall white pop-up tent that made the information stand. He thought he’d see if Archie was awake before checking on anyone else at the festival.
Inhaling a waft of hotdogs, Spencer hummed along to muffled banjo music playing over the other side of the park. The slight skip in his step didn’t go unnoticed by him, nor did the fact he couldn’t stop smiling.
Beth had finished talking to the middle-aged woman and her daughter by the time Spencer arrived. He nuzzled his nose into her cheek, giving her a quick peck before looking in the pram to see Archie just waking.
‘I’ll take him for a walk with me to get some snacks. You fancy anything, honey?’
‘Some juice please? Ooh, and a packet of crisps.’
Spencer gave her another kiss before heading off, peering over his shoulder to see her handing out leaflets. She looked so alive and brimming with happiness. So different to the woman who turned up on his doorstep. That day seemed years away now. Seeing Beth with colour in her cheeks and a smile on her face was the medicine he didn’t know he needed.
There was a short queue for the food hut, so Spencer waited in line, exchanging pleasantries with the woman in front, before noticing Lottie heading his way.
‘He awake now?’ she asked, stopping at his side.
‘Yes, and looking as adorable as ever.’
‘Aww, he looks so content.’ Lottie nudged his hip. ‘And so do you.’
If there was anyone in the world that could be more excited for him than himself, it was his little sister.
‘It feels good being settled with Beth and Archie.’
Lottie beamed, clasping her hands. ‘I’m so glad, Spence. Honestly, I thought you’d never get there.’
He laughed. ‘Get where exactly?’
‘The life you deserve.’
‘Hmm, well, I’m sure life can be just as lovely without partners or kids.’
‘Of course, but I always saw you with a family of your own. It suits you.’
‘Let’s not get carried away. This is pretty new to us.’ He knew full well he’d already discussed buying a house with Beth, but Lottie didn’t need to know all their plans just yet.
‘When you told me you’d got together, I wanted to throw a party, I was that excited.’
‘Yes, I remember.’ He smiled, reliving her squeal in the shop.
‘Do you want some handy hints and tips from moi?’
‘Not really.’ He shook his head at her as they moved forward in the queue. ‘But go on then, seeing how you’re fit to burst.’
Lottie shrugged. ‘Just keep things simple,’ she said, giggling.
‘That’s it? That’s your big relationship tip?’
‘Yes. Love isn’t complicated. People are. So if you just make sure you face everything together without adding complications, things should run smoothly.’
Spencer laughed. ‘Good to know.’ He tried to ignore the stir in his stomach as he thought about the paternity test he had done. Had he complicated things? Probably. ‘I take it things with you and Sam are going well,’ he added.
‘Everything is wonderful.’ Her dreamy eyes told him that was true.
‘Go and find him then before you start missing him already.’
Lottie poked her tongue out, then headed off.
Spencer glanced at All Saints Church close by. In all the times he’d arranged flowers in there for someone’s wedding, not once had he ever imagined himself standing at the altar. It was Lottie, with her whimsical outlook on love, making the idea of marriage appear. He laughed to himself at how much had changed for him, and all because he’d decided to become a different man.
Archie started gurgling and groaning as they neared the front of the queue, no doubt wanting his own feed.
‘Hang on just a minute,’ Spencer told him softly.
Archie started crying, his voice sounding as loud as the rest of the festival.
‘Hey, hey, it’s all right, little man.’ Spencer picked him up for a cuddle.
Archie sounded even more frustrated, showing a whole river of tears as his little face flushed.
Spencer stroked over his back in small circles until he started to settle. ‘We might think about opera singing lessons for you, son.’ He pulled him off his shoulder to peer into his watery eyes, then kissed his head. ‘You’ve got yourself all heated now, haven’t you?’
Archie sighed, making Spencer laugh.
With a pram to navigate and a baby occupying one arm, it was quite the struggle moving forward on the grass, especially as a wheel hit a dip, but luckily a woman who was waiting her turn in the queue rushed to help.
‘Oh, thanks. He didn’t want me to put him down.’
She laughed. ‘Probably because he couldn’t see anything in there. Mine’s the same. Nosey.’
Spencer laughed as he met Archie’s eyes. ‘Right, when we get home, we’ll swap this carrycot for your upright number. You’re ready now.’
Archie leaned forward, trying to eat Spencer’s nose.
‘Let’s put you back down and turn your music on for a bit while I get your mum’s snacks, then I’ll carry you again, deal?’
As Archie didn’t complain once his musical mobile was switched on, Spencer took that as a yes.
Someone was taking ages at the front deciding what they wanted to buy, so Spencer quickly checked his phone while waiting, in case Beth had sent a message asking for anything else. It was edging close to lunch, so perhaps a little more than crisps was in order.
Debra had the lunch sorted for the kids from the centre, so he didn’t have to worry about them.
Lottie sprang to mind, purely from habit. He didn’t have to look after her either. He smiled to himself at his sister trying to give him relationship advice earlier. He knew she was right about keeping things simple. Total honesty, team player, and not allowing any problems to tear them apart.
He didn’t see himself as a complicated person, but there was one thing he hadn’t simplified.
There were no messages from Beth, but he did notice an email from the paternity test clinic had arrived, causing him to freeze as soon as he read what it said. The sound of the festival faded away to a dull hum as every ounce of happiness left him within a split second. The phone screen blacked out, leaving him staring at his hand, and his stomach churned, waking him from a trance.
‘You going to move up the line or what, mate?’ said a voice from behind.
Waking with a jolt, Spencer left the queue and headed for Beth’s stall. His heart started racing, causing a tightness to take control of his lungs. His fingers gripped the handle of the pram as though it were about to tip over the edge of a cliff, and the tension in his jaw was already giving him a headache.
‘You okay, Spence?’ asked Samuel as he passed him by.
Spencer didn’t respond. He had tunnel vision for Beth. Unable to slow his legs or shake off the building anger, he marched across the grass.
Beth’s smile dropped when he came to her side. ‘What’s wrong?’ She quickly peered in the pram. ‘What’s happened?’
He went to speak but the words stuck in his throat, so he shoved his phone into her hand.
Beth glanced down at the email. She frowned, zooming in on the screen, then met his waiting eyes.
‘How could you?’ he whispered, his clenched teeth just about parting.
‘No,’ muttered Beth, looking back at the phone.
‘What’s going on?’ asked Samuel, leaning on the other side of the desk.
Beth showed Samuel the phone. ‘He’s done a paternity test.’
Samuel took one look and his mouth flapped open. ‘Oh.’
Spencer’s attention was back on Beth. ‘Why would you do this to me? I . . .’ He took a step back as her hand reached for him.
‘Spencer, when did you do this? Why didn’t—’
‘Don’t talk to me.’ He could hardly speak, let alone listen to what she had to say.
Samuel came around to his side. ‘Spence, it’s all right.’
Spencer took a breath as he looked at Beth. ‘You didn’t have to lie.’ He had to get away from her. From everyone.
‘Spencer, wait.’
There wasn’t much he could take in. His head was spinning and his body shaking. He needed to sit, but where? He ran towards the pond, taking refuge behind a large white tent.
‘Spence?’ said Samuel, following him around.
‘Don’t say anything, Sam. I can’t take this right now. I just can’t believe . . .’ He dropped to his knees, wanting to yell out. If he wasn’t feeling so sick, a stiff drink would be on his to-do list.
‘I’m sorry, Spence,’ said Samuel quietly, crouching to his side.
Spencer went to say something, but bile hit the back of his throat, causing him to gag, and within seconds he threw up.
Samuel handed him a tissue. ‘Let me take you home.’
Spencer scoffed, wiping his mouth. He slumped to his backside and stared at the sky. ‘Doesn’t feel much like home right now.’
‘Look, mate, I’m sure there’s an explanation for all this. There has to be.’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Maybe she was just scared about being on her own.’
‘That’s no excuse.’
Samuel sat on the grass. ‘I’m just trying to think of something.’
‘It would make sense if I was as rich as you, but all I offered was a home.’ Spencer shook his head. ‘I guess that was what she needed.’ He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand while the other rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I don’t even know how to feel, Sam. So much of me is angry, but another part is too ill to think straight.’
‘It’s all right. You just need some time to get your head around this.’
Spencer breathed out a small laugh through his nose, feeling as though he might just cry. ‘This must be what it feels like to be conned out of your life savings. Only, I’ve just lost a family.’
Samuel’s face was full of sympathy, and Spencer didn’t blame him for having little to say. He was still gobsmacked himself.
They sat there in silence for a moment while the festival continued around them as though no wrongs had been committed in Port Berry, but one had taken place, and it had ripped Spencer’s heart to shreds. The last time he felt that lost was when he was eight and his little sister was taken from him.
‘What do you want to do, Spence?’
He shrugged one shoulder. ‘Pretend I didn’t open that email.’
‘How about you go speak to Beth somewhere more private? I’ll look after Archie.’
Spencer shook his head. ‘I can’t look at her. She made me think I had a son. She lied to me.’ He dipped his head, repeating his last words.
Samuel pulled out his phone. ‘I’ll send a few texts, let everyone know you’re unwell and I’ve taken you home.’
‘I don’t want to go back there.’
‘Back to mine then. Just until you feel you can face Beth again, because you’re going to have to speak to her at some point.’
Spencer clutched his head in his hands. ‘Not if I can help it.’
Samuel stood, tugging Spencer’s arm. ‘Come on, let’s get out of here.’
Spencer straightened, then huffed a laugh, pointing at the back of the tent. ‘Kindness festival, Sam. Of all places to find out I’m not the father of her child. Bloody kindness.’
Samuel’s phone rang. ‘It’s Lottie. One sec. Hey, Lott, I’m—’
Spencer was busy staring at the sky, wondering who up there hated him to inflict such pain.
‘Beth wants to talk to you,’ Samuel told him.
‘Not interested.’
Samuel got off the phone and grabbed his arm. ‘Let’s just go home.’
Spencer rubbed his chin, drawing in deep breaths of cake-infused air coming from the nearby tent. ‘I can’t believe this is happening,’ he muttered, following Samuel away from half his stomach contents and quite possibly his soul. ‘Wait. I have to speak to Debra. I—’
Samuel’s phone rang again. He glanced at Spencer as he took the call. ‘It’s Beth. She’s left.’
‘Good. I hope I never see her again.’
‘Lottie wants to speak to you.’
Spencer waved away the phone Samuel held out. ‘Not now,’ he mouthed, needing painkillers for his thumping head, not hearing whatever his sister had to say. ‘I have a festival that needs me. I helped build this, and I’m not leaving because of her .’
‘I really think you just need some time to yourself, Spence.’
‘You know what, Sam, you’re right, because I was doing just fine all by myself for years before she came along with her lies.’
Samuel flapped out an arm. ‘Where you going?’
Spencer pointed forward. ‘To do my job.’
‘I’ll speak to Lottie. Not sure what to tell her though.’
‘Tell her I’m fine.’ Spencer marched off, wishing he could fall face first into a tub of alcohol and drown his sorrows.
How could you?
Just for a moment, Spencer had no idea if he was still breathing. Numbness took hold, then a shiver ran the full length of his spine. He didn’t know what to do.
‘Spencer,’ called Leo, suddenly at his side with Jax and Ryan. ‘The donkeys are here from the rescue centre. Come on, let’s go see them together.’ The cheerfulness in his voice brought Spencer back to the land of the living.
The three lads dragging him across the park helped ease his racing heart. He couldn’t be sure of anything much except he was needed by the Sunshine Superheroes. He had a job to do, a life to live, and Beth and Archie were just a dream that never came true for people like him.