Chapter Twelve
With her thoughts solely on her future, Rachel waited in the hospital sanctuary.
Knowing her life had become nothing but indecision, useless regret, and anticipation over these last few days, she supposed she should be used to it all by now.
Only she wasn’t. The idea of Damon surviving this horrible incident made her feel powerless.
Yet everything inside her wanted him to get better.
As his wife, of course she would look after him, no matter the results.
She’d be there for him ever step of the way… to recovery if at all possible.
And of course, she wouldn’t let on to him about her recent awakening…
her lack of love for him. More importantly, her newfound love for another.
Instead, she’d override the longing to be free and deal with her wifely commitments to the man she’d vowed to be with through everything the world might throw at them. How could she behave any different?
Yet deep inside, in a selfish little corner of her mind, she screamed and ranted at the unfairness of it all.
Hadn’t she been the best wife she’d known how to be?
Hadn’t she also been a good mother to his children?
And hadn’t she taken on most of the responsibilities in their home to make life for her family bearable?
The thought of possibly having to nurse him for the rest of his life figuratively brought her to her knees.
The power of the mind taking over her conscious abilities to shut it down confused and created even more self-pity.
She didn’t want to think about this, hated herself for letting those ideas and images have any oxygen.
But…
Turning to the quiet man sitting next to her, she spoke of her worries. “Lance, I’m terrified.”
“Me too. I want Damon to live… of course I do. To be his old strong self, but he’s suffered such an ordeal, I doubt if that’s possible. The few seconds I saw him on the gurney, he didn’t even look like a human being.”
“I know. I’m shocked he’s alive. His face had so much trauma, he wasn’t identifiable. If not for the tattoo on his neck, I wouldn’t have recognized my own husband.”
Lance shook his head, sadness palpable. “I don’t understand. How could he have survived? Obviously, his will to live must have been powerful.”
“The rescuers said they found them together, two naked bodies near a fallen bathtub with water still pooled inside. There was a soaking wet washcloth tucked in near Damon’s lips.
They realize it’s what saved him. Because Lily laid closest to the tub, Kate figures she must have been able to reach the water and had nursed him, keeping them both alive. ”
“Yet, she died. I guess she was hurt worse than Damon.”
“Funny, she didn’t look as badly injured. And Kate said she wasn’t dead for long as her body still maintained some warmth.”
Changing the subject so as not to let Rachel dwell too long on the image of another woman lying naked with her husband, Lance added, “I’m sorry about your ride in the ambulance. It must have been a nightmare.”
“It was.” She swallowed the sob sitting in her throat, forcing calm. “The paramedics basically ignored me while they worked on Damon the whole way. He never once opened his swollen eyes. The only way we could see he lived was the monitors were beeping with his heart rhythm.”
He nodded again before speaking. “I talked to Kate while you were with the EMTs. She said to tell you she was praying for us.”
Rachel released a sobbing breath before controlling herself. “Lance, I’m terrified that after all this, he won’t make it.”
“I know. Me too. What if he’s so damaged, he can’t live normally?
Knowing my brother, he wouldn’t be the type to find any happiness in being disabled.
He’d hate not living by his own rules. Yet the doctors are saying his chances are slim to stay alive, but they’ll do everything they can to save him.
Problem is that those prospects are even slimmer for him to ever have the full use of his crushed legs.
” Lance’s voice weakened, sliding away on a moan.
“Poor Damon. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, never mind my big brother… a man I love.”
“I feel the same.” Unable to stop herself, Rachel laid her head on the man’s broad shoulder and whispered, “Lance, can I tell you something? I have to talk about this before it drives me crazy… share with someone I trust to help me push away these wicked thoughts in my head and help me accept the possible future that scares me so much. I’m terrified.
Because if Damon lives, he’ll need me and the kids to be there for him. ”
“I get it, Rachel. We both love him but looking after a broken person is going to be a huge commitment. Especially if that man is Damon. He’s never been easy to live with but—”
Interrupting, unable to listen to the truth, she cut him off. “I know what you mean.” She stared into his face and saw the unease in his expression and the utter sadness in his eyes. “Yet we’ll both do it, won’t we?”
He nodded. Then he reached for her. No words were spoken.
They just hugged so tight that even the space between them from their individual chairs became too much.
Finally, he hauled her onto his knees and rocked them as they both wept.
She… at the futility of her newly awakened, unspoken love.
And he… because he understood one thing clearly.
Any future happiness they might have found together could be over before it even had a chance to begin.
***
Damon’s heart lifted when he saw his brother and Rachel commiserating with each other so lovingly yet vowing to be there for the selfish prick who didn’t deserve their fierce commitment.
Knowing the truth, seeing their bond brought him peace.
Now he just needed to stay alive long enough to talk to her…
tell her. Except, his strength began to fail, and no matter how hard he fought, he slipped back into the void.
***
Hours later, an intern approached. “Mrs. Marks? He’s asking for you. You can see him now but just for a few seconds.”
Lance escorted her to the door and stood back, letting her go into the room alone.
As much as he wanted to be there for her and his brother, he understood that if these were Damon’s last moments alive, they belonged to Rachel.
Pacing the hallway it only took a very few minutes before she returned.
Her face flushed, tears streaking down her cheeks and like a broken old lady, she stumbled toward him.
Swallowing her sobs, she slowly released the words she needed to share. “He’s pleading to see Rosie.”
“Rosie?” Stunned would be the best word to explain Lance’s reaction. Repeating himself, he reiterated in a stronger tone, his astonishment highlighted by the shock on his face. “Rosie.”
“Yes. Rosie.” It took him forever to get the word out, but we all heard it clearly. “He wants Rosie.”