Chapter 34 Summer #2
The hard thing was that I could see myself in his mom, an omega gradually losing herself to her pack until she couldn’t take it. But after seeing the invisible scars she had left behind on her children, I could never agree with the way she handled it.
“I tried my best to shield Jae and Mercer from a lot of it when I was home. Sending them upstairs, distracting them when they fought. But I couldn’t really do that once I left.
Every summer when I came home they seemed a little more broken.
” His scent turned so acrid, bruised lemons forgotten and left to rot. “I felt like I had failed them.”
I wanted to cry. Tears stung at the corners of my eyes. “That wasn’t your job,” I told him fiercely. “Your parents should’ve protected all of you.”
“Yeah, I know.” It rang hollow, devoid of conviction. “And I know my dads aren’t perfect. You’re probably wondering why I want to help them after everything we went through.”
It only broke my heart more hearing him still trying to take on responsibility that wasn’t his.
“No,” I said firmly. “Of course I don’t think that.”
“It did take time for us to get to this point. My dads had to work through their own grief before they were able to repair what was left of our family. It took us several years to spend our first holidays together again. But it got better. Slowly, because we’d gotten used to living separate lives.
But they tried . Even if they didn’t get it right every time.
Mom, though, she just…like none of us ever mattered…
” he trailed off, staring at the spot where he last saw his mother.
If I told Lucien how I felt, I would be asking him to stay. I’d be asking all of them to stay. To stay in the town, in the very house that held so many awful memories.
I couldn’t think of anything more selfish.
I placed my confession in a locked box deep down. Gave it a home among what-ifs and could-have-beens. And put to rest the hope of what might happen if I set it free.
“So…when are you thinking for the photos?” I asked, willing my voice not to waver.
“I’ll see what options Tom offers and pick something that works for all of us.”
“Perfect.” I released him, stepping back. “I’ll make sure my sneakers aren’t everywhere. That’s an all-day job, so give me plenty of notice,” I joked.
Lucien gestured behind him, confused. “You’re not coming in?”
“Actually, I’m going to go back to the bakery. I really ought to check on it. My bakery that is. Mercer’s still at his, of course. I don’t need to go there,” I babbled.
“Is everything okay?” Lucien frowned.
“Of course it is!” My voice teetered higher as I walked backward down the drive. “Toodle-oo!”
Toodle-oo? I really was losing it.
I returned to the Artisan Quarter—damn Stanley and his subliminal messaging—and stopped in front of Suns Out. I flattened myself close to the wall so Mercer wouldn’t spot me through the window and ask what the hell I was doing.
There had finally been some development on the repairs in the last week, and I hadn’t cared as much as I probably should have. I knocked on the glass and caught the attention of one of the contractors.
“How are the repairs going? I—I’m the tenant here.”
“Not far off, actually. Check in with your landlord. You might be able to get a move-in date,” he said politely.
“That sounds…perfect. I’ll be sure to do that.”
I was grateful he shut the door in my face so I wouldn’t burst into tears in front of him.
A soft brush of fur wound around my legs. Felix’s round face stared up at me.
“I’m sad,” I sniffed.
He meowed and did another concerned circuit.
“Where should I go now? If I go see my friends I’ll have to explain why I didn’t tell Lucien how I felt and then I’ll be sad all over again.”
Felix rose up on his hind legs and pawed at my shorts. I picked him up, noting that his bulk was predominantly floof and he was only a little bit difficult to carry. James could probably ease up on those presentations. Felix let me rub my face on his belly until I felt marginally better.
He must’ve felt incredibly sorry for me to let me do something so undignified.
“I’m not ready to go back to the pack house.”
Felix’s long unbroken stare was kind of mesmerizing. Finally, after reaching some sort of conclusion from his perusal, his nose sniffed in the direction of the town’s restaurants.
Either he was trying to scam his way into some food or he was making a genuine suggestion.
“You think I should go to Red Lantern?” I guessed.
“I could do that. It’s been a while since I’ve made Ba feed me.
Plus, I can relive the glory days of writing fortunes.
I hear Alvin’s aren’t hitting the same way.
Order dessert so I can go to college isn’t really the vibe.
Although mine will probably be extra depressing now, so the whole town will be confused for the next week or so.
You know, like… Love is bleeding out one heartbreak at a time . ”
A paw pressed to my lips and gave me a mouthful of cat hair.
“ Mmph . Fine, I’ll dial it back. But come with me?”
Felix wriggled his way out of my grasp and leaped down onto the sidewalk, striding confidently toward my family’s restaurant. Ba’s face lit up when he saw me and didn’t even question why I was there on a Monday afternoon with Felix in tow.
“Con gái. Sit, sit.” He gestured at the table closest to the register and patted my shoulder. “Con ?n ch?a?”
Have you eaten yet? It was magic how a simple question could make me feel so cared for.
“I had lunch with my friends,” I admitted.
“Still. Long time until dinner. Wait here.”
He disappeared to the back before emerging with a bowl of lychee and cut-up watermelon. Felix even got his own saucer of boiled chicken before he could stick his twitching nose into my fruit.
“Thanks, Ba.”
He waved me away, looking embarrassed, and mumbled something about needing to go back to his prep. Then he couldn’t help himself and reappeared with two more small snack dishes for me. I begged him to stop and finally began to eat, letting my perspective shift.
Now that I knew I was on borrowed time with the brothers, I could just enjoy it for what it was. And after they left, I still had my family. I had my friends. I had this town and its peculiar little mayor.
I would be okay.