Interlude #2
Chandra chuckled. “I wasn’t considered a princess until most recently. There’s been a recent change of government, and my uncle is now the Sultan. I was of no relation to the late Vinata.”
Donut brightened. “Well, then congratulations are in order! I suppose that means Carl and I are partially responsible for your ascension. If you need any advice on being a princess, I will, of course, be happy to give you tips. I must say, Princess, your golden brown pattern really is a nice shade. Vinata was quite stunning with her cobra hood and white and gold scales, but Carl says she really wasn’t white and gold, but gray, and she’d been hiding it.
Was that a scandal when people saw it? I bet it was a scandal. ”
It actually was quite the subject of conversation, much to Chandra’s irritation.
The literal king had been deposed and a new government put in place via a bloody coup, yet that particular scene had dominated the news cycle.
The vid of Vinata, insane, ashen scales on full display, beating on Carl as she bled out, only to be finished off by a slug, had been shown over and over.
Chandra had taken no small amount of pleasure at the sight of Vinata’s death.
Chandra had worked hard for everything she’d ever had, and Vinata had been born into it.
The late crown princess had basically won the genetic lottery by getting born into that family, and she still couldn’t hold on to what she had.
She hadn’t even been killed by a fellow Naga, but by a crawler.
And not just a crawler, but a crawler’s pet slug. What a disgrace.
The sight of Vinata losing it all had been so . . . satisfying.
The rodent continued to ramble. She was not making any sort of point. She sat there, talking and talking, absently wiping her paw on the side of the table.
“. . . One should be proud of who they are, I say. I would be lying if I said people don’t judge based on coloring, but one should never pretend to be something they’re not.
It’s true, yes, that tortoiseshell coloring is not as ‘desirable’ as an all-white Persian in some circles.
And, yes, people say ‘tortitude’ makes some cats difficult to work with, but you know what I say to those snobs?
Look at my pedigree and my points and tell me I’m not as desirable.
Tell me I’m not a champion. As bad as Miss Beatrice was, she did have an eye for exceptionality, and nobody can accuse her of not shooting for the stars, at least on the cat show circuit.
Do you really only have two arms? Vinata had six.
And you’re much smaller. At least you probably save a lot at the nail salon.
” She examined Chandra’s hands, and Chandra instinctively hid her dirty nails under the table, strangely ashamed.
Chandra bristled at her own reaction to this thing.
“Stop,” she finally said, making a point to hold up her hand. “For the sake of the gods, stop talking. We have a lot to go over.”
Donut nodded. “I know you have a job to do, but I’m telling you right now, I have no intentions upon taking a deal at this point.”
Chandra nodded. “Very well. You have several offers, but I agree that none of them are even worth looking at.” That actually wasn’t true.
While most of the crawlers, even Carl, were getting worse-than-usual offers, likely due to the large number of survivors, she’d taken a glance at all the offers they had for Donut.
There was one where she could have cohosted the prize carousel with Carl if he also picked the deal.
There was a game guide, with a fifteen-season commitment.
That was unheard-of for someone on the tenth floor.
Most of Donut’s deals were quick, safe assignments but with nasty royalty-snatching clauses buried deep inside.
They were basically offering her an easy out in exchange for all the money she’d already earned.
These were likely a direct result of Chandra’s recent movements.
Most crawlers died intestate, and their earnings went straight to the Syndicate anyway, but now that Donut had competent representation, they’d lose out on a significant amount of money once the rodent finally died.
These offers were trying to claw some of that back.
It was interesting, considering that the entire show seemed to be self-destructing all around them.
Honestly, Chandra hadn’t been paying attention this season.
She’d only taken notice a few weeks back when someone had suggested that her husband, Rishi, and his first wife both were in mortal danger.
And they were in danger because of that same crawler who’d stabbed her husband’s cousin in the neck with a pen.
But if Chandra were being honest with herself, and if she didn’t have a literal interest in Donut lasting at least a little longer, she would have recommended that her client take the deals.
Donut whisked her tail. “Carl says he’s not going to take a deal, so I’m not going to take one.”
“Done,” Chandra said, closing the folder, relieved she wasn’t going to have to waste time explaining everything. On her interface, she selected Crawler Refusing a Deal. There was a chime.
“So, are we done here?” Donut asked.
“Not quite,” Chandra said, pulling out a second folder and opening it.
She’d had her assistant print off and label all the new filings and rulings.
There were dozens of pages. She took a breath, feeling oddly nervous all of a sudden.
Why did she feel like this? She’d just survived a missile barrage against the warship she was sitting in, yet this nonentity was causing .
. . what? Apprehension? Ludicrous. It was something else.
Maybe she was anxious that this idiot was going to screw it all up for her.
Chandra sat straighter. “We need to have a conversation about something else. Several somethings, actually. You’re not going to like what I’m about to say, but you need to know there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.
And the sooner you come to terms with that, the sooner we’ll be able to move on. Do you understand?”
The creature seemed to narrow her eyes. In an instant, her posture changed. “What’re you trying to say, Princess?”
Chandra produced the court order laying out that Princess Donut had been put under a conservatorship and that Carl was named her guardian. She slid it over.
Donut stared at it for several moments. The rodent sighed. “Question. Is this meeting being broadcast to the universe?”
“It is not,” Chandra said, “but the negotiations of all the top-ten crawlers are available live to media accounts, so we are likely being watched by many right now.”
The rodent nodded. “Well, let’s see the rest of them, then.”
Chandra was mildly surprised. She was expecting the rodent to immediately lash out. Instead, she just quietly went over each page. She’s beaten and she knows it. That was a relief. This was going to be easier than she had thought.
Donut continued to examine the papers without additional questions.
The lawsuit that rerouted all future funding and royalties into Chandra’s trust account.
The seizure of the Princess Posse’s accounts, including the Faction Wars prize money.
The first draft of the brief regarding the challenge to the Donut Holes being a sponsor.
The formation of a corporation to seek out and attach damages to all those who were using Donut’s likeness for profit.
The subpoena for the Donut Holes demanding to see their books.
The only time when Donut paused was when she’d read the marriage ruling and certificate that announced Carl was now Chandra’s husband.
She had invoked Widow’s Rights. This was the old Naga law that stated a Naga royal widow could claim her husband’s assassin as her new husband.
This right usually only extended to the “primary” wife, but because that bitch of an obsidian had died alongside Vinata, Chandra had moved to the primary slot, even if it had been only for a few hours.
Rishi had had five more wives after Chandra. She knew some of them were now dead, but she didn’t know who. She didn’t care. She’d hated them all. She’d hated Rishi, too.
The final sheet, which basically laid out how all the money both Carl and Donut were earning was now being stored in multiple interest-bearing accounts at Kindred Bank, remained on the table. Donut took a few moments looking at the bottom line.
“I suppose that goddess was correct when she said Carl was married,” Donut finally said after several minutes of reading. “Is this bottom line correct? This is how much money Carl and I have earned?”
Chandra was surprised at the question. “Yes. And this is before we go after the crawl itself. They haven’t been following some of their own rules, and there are some penalties buried in there that should see us getting a few percentage points from their 60%.”
The creature nodded again. She kept rubbing her paw on the table.
“You know,” Donut said after a moment, “Carl has some legal papers just like this. He got them on the eighth floor from his father’s trailer.
He pulled them out and left them on the table in my room where we sleep, but I don’t think he has even read them.
I believe he’s too scared to look. But I read them. Do you know what they say?”
“I don’t care,” Chandra said. “All pre-collapse Earth rulings have been rendered invalid.”
“Exactly,” Donut said. “Invalid.”
Chandra felt herself blink. “What? What does that mean? These are valid, enforceable legal documents.”