Interlude #3
“Did you know,” Donut said, “that every Naga we have met so far has been a raging psycho? For about five seconds I thought maybe you’d be a nice one, but it appears I was incorrect.
And that’s really sad. The only nice one was Manasa, and she was a worm head.
I must say, you guys really are doing a terrible job of being ambassadors for your species.
It’s no wonder they say all those nasty things about your kind on the internet. ”
“What does that have to do with anything? What does that have to do with the Earth legal papers?”
“I thought you didn’t care what the Earth legal papers said.
” Donut tsked. “If you must know, it was a remarkably similar set of documents. Earth jargon is just as stupid and boring as your stuff. Carl’s grandparents had set money aside for Carl, and the father was attempting to get access to it without Carl knowing.
And there was a marriage certificate in there as well, though that one was for Carl’s father and his new wife.
There were also a few court documents for Carl’s dad regarding several arrests.
Nothing too important, especially now. But, in the end, when you put them all together, they do something interesting.
They paint a very distinct picture of who Carl’s father was as a person.
Much the same way these papers paint a picture of who you are, Princess Chandra.
” Donut let out another sigh. “What a sad little snake you are. I pity you.”
The words hit Chandra so hard, she felt as if she’d been slapped. It took her a moment to recover.
I am not little. I am not sad. I deserve this.
She knew this creature had an acid tongue. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t react. She needed to keep up her emotionless, matter-of-fact delivery. She had a plan.
Chandra forgot all of that as the red-hot anger overwhelmed her. She had lived her entire life in the shadow of the undeserving. She had worked for everything she ever had. And for this . . . thing to call her “sad”? To call her “small”?
How fucking dare she?
“Listen to me, you vile rodent. I don’t care what you think.
This is all going to happen no matter what you do or say.
I am showing you these papers because as your attorney, I am required to show them to you.
I only want you to live through this next floor because if you survive, it makes me money.
After, I don’t care. Either way, your financial legacy is now in safe hands. ”
Donut scoffed. “Let me ask you a question. Why do you think they rendered all the Earth stuff invalid?”
“What sort of question is that? Earth no longer exists.”
Donut, who’d been sitting on the chair, suddenly jumped to the table. She stood on all fours right in the middle of the table atop the pile of papers, her body overlapping and combining with her folder. Chandra had to force herself not to shrink away.
“Oh, honey, let me explain something to you. Whatever happens to me next, it doesn’t matter anymore.
You’re not trying to just rob me and your husband, who, by the way, snores like a chainsaw.
I hope that weird snake head of yours can wear earplugs.
I also hope you like biscuit sandwiches.
No, sweetie. You’re attempting to steal from the Princess Posse.
And the Princess Posse is more than just myself and Carl.
Didn’t you see what just happened? You think you being out there outside the dungeon is protecting you? ”
The creature let out a little laugh.
“We are everywhere. Yes, Earth is destroyed. Yes, Carl’s dad’s legal documents mean nothing. What do you think is going to happen to your little marriage certificate and your money transfers when you are destroyed?”
Chandra laughed bitterly, trying to sound more confident than she suddenly felt. “There is nothing you can do. And it’s not stealing if it’s done legally.”
“Hmm,” Donut said. “So, as my lawyer, if I offered someone fifty million credits to stop you from doing this, by any means necessary, would that be legal?”
“Of course not,” Chandra snapped.
Donut looked up into the air. “Then to any reporters watching this, I want it known that I am not offering fifty million credits to anyone who finds this snake and turns her inside out on my behalf. And I am most definitely not offering an additional five million to someone who takes that head of hers and turns it into a hat for me. Though if I was, I would be willing to cancel the order should she change her mind about attempting to steal from the Princess Posse.”
A strange, unexpected terror washed over her.
Chandra suddenly had a blinking message from her Taurin associates on her own interface.
Their fee was only sixty thousand credits, plus expenses, for the job to find and eliminate Quasar.
The message coming in at this very moment was a coincidence.
It had to be. How could they possibly be watching this? Why would they have a media pass?
But the new message rattled her.
By the gods, what’s come over me?
She clicked the message.
Chandra. We have questions about the job. What are your coordinates?
Terror came over her.
I have to get out of here. This isn’t what was supposed to happen. How could everything change so fast? Chandra gathered up the folders. Of course they wanted to ask in person. All their meetings were in person.
To gather the final folder, she’d have to reach through the creature standing on the table. She’d never seen eyes like this. She’d never seen such intensity, not even in her uncle when he’d told her that he planned on taking the sultanate for himself.
She couldn’t bring herself to reach through the illusion of the creature to grab the last folder. Princess Donut took yet another step toward her, and it was everything she could do not to let out a yelp. Shame and fear overwhelmed her at the same time.
Donut leaned in toward Chandra and let out a low growl, like she was going to pounce.
The crawler whispered, “Since you’re new to this, let me give you your first lesson on being a princess.
Lesson one, don’t put yourself in situations where you’re so afraid that you piss yourself. It shows a lack of decorum.”
Chandra, shaking, looked down. She hadn’t soiled herself, yet she’d still looked, and for that, she was humiliated.
“I . . . I didn’t.”
“Not yet,” Donut said.