Chapter Two
VERITY
I woke up abruptly, my eyes gritty and my heart so heavy my chest hurt. Something had disturbed me; something just wasn’t right. I knew instinctively, even before I turned over, that Boone was gone.
I went cold, dread snaking through me. For the first time since Boone and I had pledged our love and started sleeping in the same bed, his warm body wasn’t cuddled up to mine. He’d left. Without a kiss. Without saying goodbye.
It was early, not even seven, and I walked out of my room and looked into the living room, then peered into the garage. Sure enough. His truck was gone.
I knew he was taking the next three days off and had not booked any clients, especially the day after Thanksgiving. I had also decided that the new autumn and winter collections Minnie and I were working on for the upcoming February and March Fashion weeks could wait until Monday.
Surprised that Duel wasn’t up, I went to his room and discovered Boone had taken our son with him.
I shrugged it off. So he was gone. He probably didn’t want to wake me.
Boone was always considerate of me and my needs.
I wasn’t going to let what a doctor said to me so long ago derail my life.
Boone and I would have more children. I wasn’t barren.
I could conceive and carry a child. I was sure of it.
My body wouldn’t betray me. I gave birth once. I would do it again.
Boone had only discovered this shock yesterday. It was a surprise, and since he was a man, he needed time to digest it. Think about it . But it wasn’t like him to leave and not tell me where he was going.
I had withheld this information, and his response was to declare he wouldn’t get me pregnant. Well, that was a knee-jerk reaction, and he didn’t mean it. He was just being overprotective.
This knowledge had lurked just at the brink of my consciousness, always on the edge of my sight, a time bomb from my past. I swallowed, remembering my time in New York, the uncertainty, the guilt from lying, the anger at Boone.
It was a pregnancy filled with turbulent emotions.
A pregnancy I hadn’t enjoyed at all. It wasn’t until Duel was born that I discovered how real he was.
That I was a mother, and that I had given him up and robbed Boone of his role as a father.
If I turned out to be barren, I would rob him again.
But I just knew it wouldn’t happen that way.
I would have more children with him. There was no guarantee that my uterus would rupture.
No evidence that I couldn’t have a full-term baby.
I wanted very much to experience it again, this time with Boone, our love infused into a new life.
But for all my self-reassurances, a sick feeling of apprehension stirred, and guilt came with it. I shouldn’t have put it off; I should have told him about my doctor’s worries, about the possibility before the wedding. Closing my eyes, I tried to will away the awful sensation.
Our life together had been so full of turmoil. I guess I had wanted everything to settle down. Duel had been only five months old. I wasn’t thinking about more children then, and the doctor’s warning went in one ear and out the other.
I was immersed in Boone and Duel, in a life I hadn’t envisioned, that had blindsided me out of the blue. Now I couldn’t imagine my life being any other way.
Boone. My gut cramped up just thinking about trying to exist without him.
Everything was going to be okay.
For the rest of the morning, I kept myself busy.
I had my morning jolt of caffeine. Talked to River Pearl briefly about her and Aubree stopping by on Monday, and straightened up the house.
About midmorning, I started pulling out boxes of Christmas stuff.
Boone and I had started a tradition of decorating for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving.
I heard a truck engine and my stomach jumped. Peering out the kitchen window, I saw Boone pull up with our Christmas tree tied to the roof, heard the garage door engage and start to rise, and the truck disappeared into the garage.
Wiping my palms along my jeans, I went into the living room just as Boone, cradling a very muddy Duel in his equally dirty arms came into the room.
Duel laughed when he saw me and held out his arms. “Hi, Momma,” he said.
“Aw, no way, buddy. You’re going into the bath before you hug Momma.”
Duel pulled out his shirt and sniffed. “Ew, I need a bath, Daddy. A splashy bath.”
Boone chuckled, his smile flashing and said, “Sure, you can splash around, but you can’t stay in for long. I’ve gotta get the tree in the house. You can help Momma decorate the tree. Yes?”
“The tree smells good.” He looked at me. “I can help?”
“You can.”
Boone nudged Duel. “What else did you say? Tell Momma.”
“I said it’s pretty.”
“And?”
“And?” He furrowed his little brows and raised his grubby hands palms up like he had no clue. I smiled.
“Color,” Boone whispered.
His little features smoothed out. “Oh, ya, it’s green.”
“Yes,” I said, looking pleased. “It’s green.”
Boone toed off his boots and gave me a brief glance before he carried Duel down the hall. In the bathroom, he started the water, and leaning against the doorframe, I said casually, “So you’ve been getting a tree all this time?”
He took off Duel’s shirt and unsnapped his pants, removing his diaper. My adorable little boy reached for me again, and I came into the bathroom and knelt beside Boone. We sat close together, but it felt like we were worlds apart.
“No, I took Duel and Henry fishing.”
“Fishing,” Duel said and laughed. “I caught a whopper.”
“Did you tell him to say that?”
“Yeah, he was more interested in picking up bugs. I had to watch to make sure he didn’t eat them. Henry was amused. He thinks Duel is hilarious.”
“Did he catch anything?”
“Yeah, a couple of big ones.”
“Whoppers!” Duel interrupted.
Boone tickled him, picked him up, and plopped him into the tub. Then dumped in a bunch of his toys—cars, little crabs, seahorses, and a rubber duck. “I gave them to Baker. I hated having to drop him back there. I don’t trust that guy.”
“Sharon must have. He’s now Henry’s guardian. How is Henry doing today?”
“He’s really sad, but kids are resilient, so I expect he’ll bounce back quickly.” He moved out of the way so I could get closer to the tub. I rose.
He looked down, his lashes thick and dark over his aching blue eyes. I reached out, but he sidestepped my touch and leaned against the doorframe. My heart constricted and gave a painful thump. Boone had never avoided my touch before. Not even one time. Wow, that really hurt, stung like a bitch.
“She asked for me at the end. Woke up and said she had to talk to me, but she died before I got there. That was tough. I suspect she wanted me to look out for Henry. I would have promised to do that.”
“Oh, Boone. With everything going on yesterday, you didn’t mention it.”
His mouth tightened. “Yeah, must have slipped my mind.” He looked away. “I’ll get the tree.”
He just needed time, I soothed myself while my dread expanded in spite of it, and I forced my expression to remain neutral. “The stand is already set up,” I murmured as he left.
Thanks to Duel’s antics and Boone’s quiet compliance, we got the tree trimmed, the decorations placed, and the lights up on the outside of the house.
By evening, I was exhausted, and grateful Duel didn’t need a bath. I got him ready for bed while he chattered about Santa Claus coming and his reindeer. I read him a book, and he was asleep before I got to the last page.
I left his room and went looking for Boone. He was finishing up in the kitchen and had just started the dishwasher.
“You want to watch a movie?”
“No, I think I’m going to lift.”
He left and went into his weight room. I watched a couple of shows, hoping Boone would come out and join me, but after he finished lifting, he disappeared into our room. When I got up and peeked my head into our bedroom, he was taking a shower. The door was closed.
I craved closeness with him like it was oxygen, but when I tried the door, it was locked. My heart dropped down to my toes.
I went back out to the living room, my throat aching, and brushing away tears that slipped down my cheeks.
I pretended to watch the rest of my show, determined to give him some space.
It was difficult, but I wanted him to work through it before we talked again.
After the show was over, I checked all the locks and turned off the lights.
He was on the bed, landscape design boards spread out.
When I came in and started to get ready, he cleared them away.
By the time I’d brushed my teeth and came back out, he was facing away from me, his usually smooth, naked back covered with a T-shirt, and the room was dark.
Boone normally slept in the buff, but when I slipped in beside him, he didn’t roll toward me or stir. He was also wearing a pair of shorts.
We dropped Duel off at my parents’ the next day and did some Christmas shopping, and that night went out to dinner with Minnie and Deke, since they had to go back to New York the next day.
When we were leaving, Minnie asked if everything was all right.
I told her we were just tired, it had been a busy few days. She bought it.
Subdued and quiet, Boone only responded when I asked him a direct question.
That was pretty much the way the weekend went.
By Sunday night, I was miserable, not sure how to bridge this gap, not ready to start a discussion myself, and terrified that he would think I was a failure.
Scared that our marriage was fragmenting, I was raw.
This separation from Boone was like a knife in my heart.
He was such a rock when we were trying to wade through all our crap a year and a half ago.
He’d bolstered me, never gave up on me. We traveled a rocky road together, and I was heartsick that he was now shutting me out because he had somehow lost his faith in me.