Chapter 26
Chapter twenty-six
Tristan
Iwaited until Millie hopped off Kate’s lap and hurried to the kitchen. Kate hadn’t noticed me yet, so I snuck closer. When she pushed off the couch and spun around, I was right there.
Her pretty little mouth popped open to yelp, to curse... Whatever it was, I was faster.
“We need to have a serious talk about these walls you keep putting up.”
Her glare was scary as fuck. “I thought you left.”
“Not going anywhere, baby.”
“You should.”
Maybe she didn’t want me in her space right now, but that fire burning in her eyes told me she didn’t want me gone either.
“Well,” I said, eradicating the distance between us. “I’m not ready to leave.”
We were so close, a puff of hot breath hit my chest with her sharp exhale.
Snaking my arm around her waist, I whispered against her ear, “Don’t pretend I don’t know what you feel like from the inside.” My mouth ghosted over her skin. “That it wasn’t my name on those pretty lips when you came all over my hand.”
Another shaky breath left her body.
My hold on her tightened, mercilessly digging my fingers into her skin. “Don’t you fucking dare pretend none of it happened.”
For one, two heartbeats, she didn’t speak, didn’t even move. Then in the blink of a damn eye, she shoved me away. “I thought that’s what we were doing?” Her eyes narrowed dangerously, and those walls grew a few bricks taller. “Pretending.”
“Fuck.” I swiped a hand over my face. “You’re the most fucking confusing woman I’ve ever met. Why don’t you just use your damn words and tell me what the fuck I did wrong so I can fix it?”
When my stupid rant was out, I immediately wished to take it back. She didn’t deserve it. Even if she was the one driving me in-fucking-sane.
I opened my mouth. “I’m sor—”
“Go.”
“Fine.”
This time I didn’t argue. Simply grabbed my boots from her bedroom and got the hell out of there like she wanted me to. But when the elevator doors swung open, I couldn’t step inside.
“Fuck this.”
Spinning on my heel, I stomped straight back to her apartment.
The door wasn’t locked and later we’d have a talk about the dangers of leaving it open. Later. After I’d done what I came to do.
Molars grinding, I swept my gaze across the living room. Empty. Next stop was the kitchen. Only Kate was there, busy working the coffee machine. Not really working, more like staring at the bag of beans in her hand.
I wasted no time crossing the room. Clamping both hands down on her shoulders, I spun her around. My mouth crashed to hers before she even registered what was happening.
Slipping my fingers into her hair, I angled her head to the side. My tongue eagerly swept over the seem of her lips, begging for entry. One time, two times until she opened on a sweet, sweet sigh and let me in.
The beans clattered to the floor and her hands shot to my waist, her fingers doing some digging of their own. My groan was deep and rough, pulled from somewhere only this woman could reach.
If I’d had my tongue in anyone else’s mouth, it would have been just a kiss. But with Kate, there was nothing just about it. When her lips touched mine, she didn’t just kiss me, she reached behind walls I didn’t know were there and touched places I had no idea existed.
She made me fucking feel.
With that realization, I broke the kiss and stepped back.
Her mouth popped open, those sinful lips red and swollen.
I swiped my thumb over the bottom one. “Tell me again we’re just pretending.”
I didn’t wait for her to respond, didn’t linger to see those walls shoot sky-high. I simply left and hoped like hell to make sense of the new, scary-as-shit emotions dancing down my spine.
Two hours later, exiting the elevator at Livingston and Thornburg, I still had no clue. I only knew I was fighting a losing battle. My head warned me that beyond this arrangement, I had to stay away from Kate.
She and Millie were far better off without me.
There was just one tiny problem with that… I was drawn to Kate—to them both—on some fucked-up level I didn’t understand. Like I couldn’t make sense of the sudden insatiable need I seemed to have developed for the woman who’d been right under my nose for so many years.
I was probably struggling with that the most.
She’d always been there, and not once had I felt a stirring of any kind. Or maybe if I’d paid attention long enough, I would’ve noticed something?
A soft curse sputtered over my lips. There was no use in dwelling on things I’d never know the answer to. The only thing I could do was to try and navigate these feelings—and frustrations—as best I could, while simultaneously not doing anything to hurt the two new important people in my life.
Speaking of, I caught sight of Kate sitting behind her desk. And she wasn’t alone. Rafe sat perched on the edge, chatting with her, with my wife, like it was the most normal thing in the world.
“What the fuck is going on here?” I growled the instant I reached them.
Either they didn’t hear me, or they were ignoring me. Indignation boiled my blood.
My palm connected with the smooth wooden surface a second before I grabbed my friend by the collar and yanked him off her desk.
“Che Cavolo.”
“What the hell?”
They spoke at the same time.
Ignoring his angry Italian curses, I turned my attention to her. “What’s going on here?” I repeated.
“Nothing.”
It sure as shit hadn’t looked like nothing. I’d said as much, but before she could even think about giving me an explanation, he smacked my shoulder.
“Hey, stupido, what’s the matter with you? The lovely Kate and I were—”
Red clouded my vision. Spinning around, I shoved him in the chest. “She isn’t your fucking lovely anything.”
The words were out before I could stop them.
“Seriously?” she hissed.
My gaze shot to her. “Before this fucking day is over, you and I are going to talk.”
With that, I stomped into my office...only to walk straight into Liam.
“Of course you’re here too.”
Sidestepping him, I shoved my jacket over my shoulders, tossed it on the nearest flat surface, and headed for my desk.
“Is this an intervention or some shit?” I growled at my friends.
They’d both slipped into the seats in front of me. And, comically enough, wore the same baffled expressions.
“You all right?” Liam was the first to break the silence. “You’ve been a little off lately.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, thankful Rafe hadn’t said a thing about my outburst. “Just busy.”
Rafe let out an obnoxious snort-laugh.
Pinning him with a glare, I arched a brow. “Got something to say?”
“Hmm. Déjà vu,” Liam mused, his tone soft and annoyingly whimsical.
Again, Rafe laughed.
It got on my damn nerves. “What’s so funny?”
The anger in my tone didn’t faze them one bit. It pissed me off even more. “Did you come all the way here to sit there and laugh like a couple of clowns?”
“See?” Rafe said to Liam. “What did I tell you?”
Leaning back, Liam hummed thoughtfully.
I was two seconds away from losing my fucking mind. “What—”
“The last time I was as defensive as you are now,” Liam said. “A five-foot-four woman was to blame. Or rather, the confusing feelings I had for her, to be more accurate.”
I’d never felt more seen in my entire life. I didn’t like it. “So?” I shrugged.
“Where did you disappear to last night?” Rafe asked. When I just stared, he went on, “I don’t know how much you remember, you were pretty fucking out of it.”
I wasn’t, but there was no use in correcting him.
“You spent two minutes with the blonde then hurried out of the club as if diavolo himself was chasing you.” Cocking his head slightly, he leveled me with a stare. “Do you know what you said before you left?”
I did. That woman wasn’t Kate, and I’d told her so.
“And just now out there.” Rafe pointed a finger toward the door. “You almost took my head off for referring to Kate as lovely—which I’d been doing for years, I might add.” Leaning forward, he braced his elbows on his thighs. “It’s not hard to put two and two together.”
Didn’t the truth always have a way of getting out? Guess, it was finally time to let them in on the secret.
Sighing heavily, I scraped a palm over my face. “It’s not what you think.”
Without going into Kate’s personal reasons, I told them about our arrangement. How we got married so I could make partner. To their credit, they listened without interruption or judgment.
Not that I’d expected them to think less of me. That’s not who they were. But I wouldn’t have been surprised if either of them was upset I hadn’t clued them in earlier. Instead, they surprised me with understanding stamped so clearly on their faces.
“For both your sakes, I hope you know what you’re doing,” Liam said.
Rafe nodded in agreement but didn’t add anything. I didn’t know why, but it bothered me. He always had so much to say about everything.
“Right.” Smacking his hands together, Liam pushed to his feet. “Now that the cat’s out of the bag, I can get back to my wife.” He checked his watch then shoved his hands into his pockets. “We should do dinner soon.”
“Yeah,” I muttered under my breath.
After giving me a quick handshake, Liam was out the door.
The lock hadn’t even clicked yet before Rafe turned to me. “I don’t buy it.”
“Don’t buy what?”
He stared at me for so long, an uneasy feeling slid over my skin.
“This marriage of yours? It’s really just for show?”
I gritted my teeth. “Yes.”
“Hmm.” He headed to the door and opened it. I didn’t need to see what he was looking at; I already knew. “So you wouldn’t mind if I asked her out?”
A wave of heat rushed over my skin. Tiny black spots appeared in the corners of my eyes.
“You think she’ll like Nonna’s cooking?” Rafe just kept talking. “Or maybe I could impress her and cook myself. Play a little piano, drink a little wine. Maybe even—”
“No.” I yelled. “You cannot fucking ask my wife out.”
Rafe didn’t even flinch. In fact, the bastard gave me a knowing smirk. I knew what he was about to say before he’d even said the words.
“You have feelings for her.” He frowned. “Is it new or have you—”
“New. I think.” Scraping a palm over my face, I let out a long sigh. “She’s messing with my head, man. And that’s not all.” I paused, wondering if I should tell him the next part. It wasn’t my story to tell, but shit, I needed advice. “She’s got a kid.”
I explained the situation with Millie to Rafe, ending with how enamored I was with the six-year-old, as well.
To his credit, my friend didn’t make any smart-ass comments or jokes.
He was quite serious when he spoke. “I know we all have our fair share of shit we carry with us every damn day. We feel damaged and undeserving of anything good. But we’ve witnessed firsthand with Liam how one person can change it all.
” Turning his head, he looked in Kate’s direction again.
“Don’t fight it, man. Whatever she makes you feel, embrace it. ”
With those words, he walked away, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the woman who ruled them.
A different kind of need burned behind my breastbone when I poked my head out the door. I still very much wanted Kate in my bed, but even more than that, I wanted her heart. Wanted her to crave me in the desperate way I craved her.
My gaze locked on to her where she sat behind her desk, frowning at the bagel in her hand. Fuck, she was beautiful.
She must’ve felt my stare. Her eyes lifted to mine, and much to my horror, that frown deepened, and those pretty lips pressed into a thin line.
I’d had enough. Enough of ignoring what I felt and more than enough of those walls she’d erected. I marched to her. Clamping my hand down on her wrist, I pulled her out of her seat and dragged her behind me into the office.
Once inside, I slammed the door shut and caged her against it. “Talk.”