Chapter 6 – Juliana
A nother year older and yoga before breakfast was the plan, but I can hear the treadmill going in his exercise room. Liam’s running in there since it’s raining outside. Stop avoiding him , I tell myself, my hand on the doorknob.
I’ve been keeping my distance since he didn’t come home two nights ago.
It’s not difficult in this enormous house.
I can’t even say why it’s happening. It’s not like when I was missing the signs that Chad was cheating.
This is Liam. He wouldn’t lie about where he was.
I know he’s a player, but it doesn’t matter.
We’re just friends. Finding the right time to ask him to father my baby is one thing, but the rest shouldn’t be this complicated.
Go in. You are too old for this nonsense, Juliana .
But, my confidence took one helluva hit a few years ago when the thing I thought I knew I could trust - my husband’s love - turned out not to be the case.
Becca would remind me it’s a rare individual who never knows doubt, so rare as to be troubling in its own ways, but shouldn’t I have everything figured out by this point in my life?
Guess not because I swerve toward the sauna instead of facing Liam. Might as well enjoy his since I’ll be back home tonight. I’ll be avoiding saunas altogether once I’m pregnant.
After a quick rinse under the adjacent shower, I grab a towel and step inside, careful not to slip on the damp cedar planks. The moist heat robs me of my breath for a second until I adapt. There’s fresh steam coming off the rocks. Did Liam use it before his workout? Or, is he planning to after?
I’ll only be a few minutes, I decide, sinking into the corner spot I prefer and meaning to prepare myself for the day. I’m thirty-six years old and I have an appointment with the fertility specialist Wendy and Nell used in a couple of weeks. I need to talk to Liam.
But, the lovely woodsy scent and relaxing heat has my eyes drifting shut and preparing myself for the day in another way.
I’ve been so freaking horny lately. And, much as I try to picture some random guy as I build toward a release, my brain insists on showing me Liam’s face once I get there. Another reason I’ve been avoiding him.
I start to rub my clit, a sigh escaping as the smell of cedar reminds me of his cologne.
My nipples feel tight against the towel.
I’d love to have them licked right now as he fingers me.
I’m so deep in my thoughts that I’m caught off guard by the door opening.
Shit . I hurriedly glance down at my flushed body and yank the towel more tightly around me.
He sighs, stepping inside and ladling more water over the rocks. I start to speak but the sight of Liam’s body only covered by a towel temporarily robs me of that ability. I don’t think he’s noticed me yet and I need to-
Nope, he definitely hasn’t noticed me because he just dropped his towel!
“Um, hi,” I squeak while admiring his toned back and that very fine ass.
He whirls toward me and those ancient statues meant to display male perfection have nothing on Liam.
Sure, those nicely defined muscles could be made of marble, but there’s nothing cold and uninviting about his tanned skin or his impressive cock. Sweet Jesus.
“Juliana!” he yelps, quickly stooping to grab his towel off the floor. Unfortunately, the damp boards work against him, causing one foot to go one way and the other another until Liam’s flat on his back on the sauna floor.
Springing to my feet to help my friend, I’m immediately reminded that, of the two of us, I’m not the graceful one. My feet slip, too, and my hands fly forward to catch my fall. “Oof!” I cry, landing on top of his naked frame. “Liam, are you… Is my hand wh ere I think it is?”
“Yes.” I bite my lip at his comically high-pitched reply as I awkwardly remove my hand from where it’s smashed between my belly and his groin. I mean to apologize, but his cock twitches against me and I forget how words work again. I quickly try to shift off of him instead.
“Wait,” he commands, his voice deep and gruff once more as his arm wraps around my waist. “Are you hurt, honey?”
Honey . He calls me that all the time. Why is it making me feel all fluttery inside all of a sudden? Why is his arm around me making me wetter than the air in here? Why do I wish we could pretend we’re porn stars in some cheesy set-up for the next hour? Lord, I need some action.
“No, I’m okay,” I whisper, hoarsely. “I’m sorry I- ouch! What was that for?!” I gasp after he slaps my ass. Maybe we did wander into that porn film.
“I needed to give you your birthday spanking anyway,” he says, grinning like the devil.
Whoa. Flushing crimson, I manage not to say what naughty thoughts just jumped into my brain, and the ridiculousness of our position soon overrides those anyway. I snort at his grin and he chuckles at my snort and then we’re both laughing like loons.
Once we’re calmer, it really is time to get up and stop thinking about Liam’s body and how it feels pressed against mine. “Are you hurt?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Just my pride. And, the twins.” He glances down toward his groin and makes this whimpery noise.
“Don’t make me laugh again! I’m sorry for-”
“I’m not,” he says, lightly patting my towel-covered ass again. Oh, help .
Quicker to his feet, Liam rises first and holds out his hand to help me. Just as I’m upright, my towel comes undone. “Oops,” I mumble, my cheeks heating up again since I can’t help flashing him while I rearrange it. “Guess it’s only fair since I saw you.”
I’m trying to sound playful and trying very hard not to think of the hurtful things Chad said during the divorce, but Liam doesn’t laugh. He’s too busy taking in the show, his beautiful eyes decidedly darker. “I hope you’ll forgive me, but I’d say I’m the one coming out ahead here, Juliana.”
My mouth falls open and my eyes drop to the towel that’s back around his waist. There’s some… tenting. Holy shit.
But, Liam’s expression is thoughtful when he’s looking me in the eye again. “I guess I finally cornered you, huh? Wanna tell me why you’ve been avoiding me?”
This time, my face burns for different reasons. He’s realized what I’ve been doing. “Yeah. I haven’t wanted to…” Hear about your latest conquest. I haven’t wanted to consider why I’m feeling jealous at the thought of you with another woman.
I don’t say that part, but I won’t lie to Liam. I tell a different truth. “I didn’t want to overstay my welcome here. I didn’t want to cramp your style.”
He folds his muscular arms over his chest. “Don’t think that. I like having you here. I thought maybe I was cramping your style.”
“My style?” I scoff. “What style is that? I haven’t been to Sable lately.”
He frowns, staring at my feet. “I thought maybe you were seeing Miles. I thought that might’ve been a double-date the other night.”
“You think I’d have an affair with my PA like my ex-husband did with his?”
My nose crinkles up at the mere notion and he chuckles, saying, “Okay, I guess not.”
“I’m not interested in Miles and, even if I was, he’s too young for me.” Liam’s chuckles die out. “Where were you the other night? You didn’t come home and I was worried that… I was worried you didn’t think you could bring a date home because of me.”
“I didn’t have a date. I met my sister for drinks.”
“Ivy?She’s back?”
“Yeah,” he sighs. I’ve never met Liam’s sister and he’s told me very little about her beyond a few stories from their college days. I want to know what has him looking so troubled but there’s this overwhelming sense of relief, too. He wasn’t out hooking up.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Did you two talk all night?”
“I didn’t mention it because it’s kind of surreal, the idea of having her back. We both had a few too many. Dean had to come get us.”
“Big brother to the rescue, huh?”
“God, he was so smug about it.” Knowing Dean, I’m sure he was. I have a dozen more questions on the tip of my tongue, but Liam delays me from asking any. “Come on, birthday girl. Let's have breakfast.”
The cooler air outside the sauna has me staggering into the nearby shower, my heart pounding in a way it hasn’t since…
no. That’s not possible. I haven’t been properly laid in ages, and I’ve been living with my hot bachelor friend for too long.
That’s all it is. Thankfully, my house will be ready for me to move back in tonight.
When I peep around the opaque glass door, Liam’s not there.
He’s left me with fresh towels and my yoga clothes are neatly folded nearby.
With shaky hands, I dry off, telling myself to pull it together.
I must have imagined that look in his eyes when my towel dropped.
Surely, you did, that cruel voice of doubt inside my head insists.
Even if he wasn’t banging a twenty-something the other night, you wouldn’t turn him on, Juliana.
I find him in the kitchen with his back turned toward me as he fiddles with something on the counter.
The towel has been replaced by a pair of sweatpants, but he’s still shirtless.
He’s too beautiful to stare directly at for too long, like a brilliant sunrise.
He’s been helping the sun rise for me for three years now.
He’s become such an important part of my life.
The thought of losing him is impossible.
The thought of asking him to help me make a baby has my palms sweating.
Aware of my presence, he turns, holding a cupcake with a lighted sparkler on top. “Liam, are you trying to burn your house down? ”
“Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday to you…”
A lump forms in my throat and my eyes prickle with tears.
He’s got the purest, sweetest heart hiding under his player’s charm.
I’d be asking so much of him, but there’s no other man on this planet I would ask for this.
It’s him or it’s a donor I’ll never meet.
I know in my heart which one is my first choice.
“I thought you might like blueberry cake with lemon frosting. Or, is my singing that bad?” he asks, seeing my teary eyes as he sets the cupcake in front of me.
I bite my bottom lip, sniffling. “I love you a bunch, Liam Culver. Did you know that?” His eyes go wide. Shit. He knows my extreme avoidance of using those three little words apart from family and now I’ve probably freaked him out. “I love you as my best friend is what I meant.”
He sighs heavily before folding me up in his arms. Warm and strong, there’s no place like Liam’s arms. “You’re supposed to make a wish before the sparkler goes out,” he prods when I’ve been clinging long enough.
But, instead of turning toward the cupcake, I tilt my face up to gaze into those ocean eyes that have pulled me out of the deep end more than once since the day we met. “Liam… would you make a baby with me?”