Chapter 27
TWENTY-SEVEN
Liam
It all happens so quickly that I have no time to react before the world is dropping out from under me. As I hit the icy-cold water, all I can think of is Gabriel. He was closest to the blast, and I didn’t see what happened to him.
Desperately, I kick my feet, fighting to reach the surface, but when I break through, all I can see is the snow pelting my face while freezing water drips from my hair.
“Gabriel!” I shout, but my ears are ringing. Even my own voice sounds so distant. If he was yelling for me, I’m not sure I could even hear it, but it doesn’t stop me from shouting his name again and again.
Panic is eating at me while my waterlogged clothing threatens to pull me down, and I realize that if Gabriel was knocked out or injured, he’d have been pulled straight down to the bottom.
I fight to get my heavy jacket off before I dive back under, leaving the weight of it behind so I can freely move under the water, but I can see nothing as the cold tears into my limbs. I’m disoriented but determined to find him. I have to find him. I have to…
This is because I taunted Whitaker. This is because I was so fucking cocky that he targeted us. He hurt my sweet Gabriel. He…
What if he took him from me?
What if I lost the only thing that makes life worth living?
Before Gabriel, I just went through the motions every day. The only time anything mattered was the hunt, the kill, and then it was all over again. Every joy in my life was ripped from me the second my parents were killed in front of me. They were the only shred of happiness in my fucked-up mind.
And then I met Gabriel.
My sweet Gabriel, who knows what I am and loves me anyway.
I’m terrified now because I can’t find him. I can’t find him anywhere. And when I do find him… what am I going to find?
Something brushes my leg and it takes me a mere moment to realize that it’s Gabriel’s hand wrapping around my ankle.
My stomach squeezes tight as I reach out and take his hand in mine, clutching it tightly while I pull him up. With all of his winter gear on, he’s being weighed down, but there’s absolutely nothing that could keep me from getting him to the surface.
I reach the edge, dragging him up as he wraps his arms around me, coughing and gasping for breath.
He’s okay. He’s okay. He’s okay.
My sweet Gabriel is okay.
“You need to get out of the water. Let go of me so I can push you up,” I say, but he just grips me tighter like he’s never planning on letting go of me again. I can hear his haggard breaths. I can feel the way he shakes. I need to get him out of the water as quickly as I can.
“Gabriel, please,” I beg as I try to pry his hands off me so I can push him out because I’m not sure I can crawl out with him clinging to me like this.
He’s not fighting me as hard as he was, so I try to hang on to the edge of the ice while I hoist him up.
The ice breaks beneath the weight and Gabriel panics, latching on to me, sending us both under.
I kick hard and we break the surface again as I grab the edge of the ice for something to hold on to.
“L-Liam… Liam,” Gabriel pants.
“Please stop panicking, it’s okay. I’ve got you.
I’ve got you right here,” I say, trying to keep my voice soft even while turmoil rushes through me.
I knock away the broken ice until I reach a solid lip and hoist him up again.
This time, I manage to get him halfway up onto the ice.
He claws at the ice, dragging himself the rest of the way out.
“Liam, come on,” he urges as I go to lift myself up and the ice immediately cracks under me. I plunge under the water, sinking beneath it, and when I come up again, Gabriel is desperately reaching for me.
“Liam, please,” he begs. “Help! Someone! Help! Please.” But his voice gets lost in the storm.
He grabs my wrist and drags me while I push myself up onto the ice and pull myself out.
“Fuck… fuck,” Gabriel gasps, his entire body shaking as I see red everywhere.
And my world grinds to a halt.
“You’re hurt.”
“I’m fine,” he says, but the blood is mixing with the water, blooming out around him brightly in the white snow that coats the ice.
My world is crashing while my eyes become fixated on it.
I’ve always relished the sight of blood blooming around those I hunt.
But here.
Right now…
Something is crushing me from the inside as I clamp my hand over the wound in Gabriel’s side.
“Stop, stop!” he cries, trying to shove me off.
“It’s okay,” I say, uncertain how calm my voice can be when everything inside of me is spiraling out of control. I need to get him off the ice before it cracks any further. I need to get him closer to safety. I need to get him help.
“Liam, you’re panicking,” he murmurs as his hand cups my cheek. “It’s okay.”
No, no, I’m fine. How can he not see that I’m fine? I’m okay. I’m not panicking. I just… I need to get him somewhere safe. I press my gloves against the wound, holding them in an attempt to stop the blood as I lift him up.
“It’s okay, Liam,” Gabriel mutters, his eyes fluttering. His voice sounds slurred while I run. “It’s… okay…”
My world is crashing around me. I see people running toward me, but I can’t hear them. The only voice I can hear is Gabriel’s circling through my mind, telling me again and again that it’s okay.
It’s not okay.
It’s not okay.
People crowd around me. They try to take Gabriel from me, but I refuse to let him go.
Someone is grabbing me, but Gabriel is bleeding so much.
It’s staining my clothes as I guide him into my car and yell at someone to start it.
I hold his head when I try to peel the wet clothes off of him so I can warm him up.
“Gabriel, the ambulance is heading here,” I say, but he’s not answering.
My hands are shaking while I cut the wet jacket away with a knife.
“Gabriel. Gabriel, please open your eyes,” I beg.
“Liam, you need to get your wet clothes off too,” Matthew says softly.
“I’m fine,” I snap as I shove him back. He doesn’t ask again, just helps me try to warm up Gabriel. “Where is the fucking ambulance? I’m going to drive him.”
“They’re almost here,” he says. “He’s okay.”
I look up when I hear the sirens and reach up to Gabriel’s face while I cup his cheek and realize I’m rubbing blood over his beautiful face. “The ambulance is here. They’re going to make you all better. They’re going to fix you.”
I kiss his lips softly as I feel tears drip down and splatter on his bloodstained face.
I don’t remember the last time I cried… was it when my mother died?
Was it when everything inside of me broke, and I thought it was for the final time?
I’ve already lost my parents; shouldn’t it be fitting for a monster like me to lose the love of my life as well? Why wouldn’t I deserve this?
“I love you. I love you so much,” I whisper.
The door opens, and Matthew is there holding it while the paramedics reach in for Gabriel.
A part of me doesn’t want to hand him over.
I know they’re going to help him in ways I cannot, but the possessive side of me doesn’t want anyone else to touch him because they could hurt him.
He looks so pale when he’s pulled out of my arms and onto the gurney, smearing blood as he’s moved.
Blood I couldn’t get to stop flowing no matter how hard I compressed it.
My heart is being ripped out of my chest, my stomach is painfully twisted, and my rage is starting to burn out of control. I get out of the car and watch him get loaded into the ambulance. They’re moving so quickly, not wasting even a moment before those doors are shut and the ambulance is moving.
“I know what hospital he’s going to, let’s go,” Matthew says.
“No.”
“What?” he asks, startled.
This is my fault. This is my fucking fault. I taunted Whitaker. I was so fucking cocky. I caused this. I should never be allowed around Gabriel again because everything I love dies. It was my fault. All my fault.
I drive my fist into the side of my car and pain spikes up into my hand, but it doesn’t stop me from punching the car again.
“Stop!” Matthew yells as he grabs me and hauls me off. I elbow him off me, ready to fight the next person who tries to control me.
“This is my fault.”
“It’s not your fucking fault. Now get in the fucking car,” he yells while he tries shoving me in. “Jesse, help me.”
“Paige, this is no one’s fault. How the hell were you supposed to know what was going to happen?” Michaels asks, then turns to Matthew. “Get Paige to the hospital and have him looked over.”
I need to find Whitaker and I need to rip him apart. Tear into him and make him hurt, make him beg, and once he’s on the brink of death, I’m going to watch him slowly bleed out until there’s nothing left of him.
I throw the bag with the ring and the necklace in it at Michaels. “I found this out there before the explosion.”
The door shuts with me crammed inside, and I realize I need to get out. I can’t go to the hospital. I can’t face Gabriel. I spewed lies about keeping him safe, and instead, I nearly got him killed. I should have been better. I wasn’t enough.
“I’m so sorry,” Jesse whispers while Matthew begins to drive. “This is all my fault. I’m just going to come clean with everyone. I’ll tell them every fucking thing that ever happened. I’m so sorry.”
“Stop!” Matthew orders. “Everyone is being rash and letting their emotions control them.”
Emotions? I don’t have emotions. I’m a monster and monsters don’t have feelings. Jesse was right, I’m just like Whitaker.
“We need to get you out of those wet clothes,” Jesse urges from where he’s sitting in the back beside me. I think he came back here in the hope of helping me, but I don’t want anyone near me.
“I’m fine. I wasn’t under the water that long,” I say, knowing I deserve whatever discomfort life throws at me.