Chapter 27 #2
“Liam, stop,” Jesse says as he reaches for me. I don’t realize how tightly I’ve had my fists clenched, letting my nails bite into my skin because I want to punish myself, until he forces me to let go. “He’ll be okay.”
“You don’t know that. I fucked up.”
“You didn’t. You’re not invincible, no matter how much you think you are! You’ve gotten further with this than anyone ever has! Whitaker has killed for so many fucking years and you’re the first person who has ever even gotten close to him.”
“Close? I’ve done nothing! I’ve solved nothing! All I’ve done is fuck up, and Gabriel paid the price for it. He’s going to die. Everything good in my life dies because I deserve nothing.”
“Knock it the fuck off,” Matthew shouts. “Stop degrading yourself. I’ve known you for years, and this is the first time I’ve ever seen you at a happy point in your life. Don’t throw it all away because someone else hurt Gabriel.”
I don’t answer because I’m done. I don’t want to hear their words. I don’t want to listen to them. I just want to kill Whitaker and then step away from Gabriel so I can never get him hurt again.
Jesse starts wrapping napkins around my hands in an attempt to stop the bleeding.
“If you’re going to blame anyone, blame me,” he says.
I ignore him as well. What good would blaming him do? He’s not who I want. Blaming him won’t satisfy this anger tearing through me.
Jesse asks, “Liam, do you have the number for Gabriel’s parents? I’ll call them.”
“I can call them and tell them that I got their son hurt,” I say as I pull my phone out and hit Mabel’s number.
He huffs. “You did not get him hurt. We’re headed to Westfield.”
“Hello?” Mabel answers.
“Mabel, Gabriel’s being transported to the Westfield ER. There was an explosion at a crime scene, and I believe some shrapnel from the bomb pierced his side. It’s my fault he was put in such a situation—”
“Is he okay?” she asks, immediately sounding anxious.
“We’re not at the hospital yet. I’m sorry. This was all my fault.”
“Honey, it’s not your fault. Gabriel loves his job, and he loves his ability to save people. He’ll be okay, alright? I’ll be there soon. I’ll be there.”
I don’t know what else to say to her, so I hang up and drop the phone on my wet lap where I proceed to stare at it.
Matthew pulls into a parking spot and tugs me inside by wrapping a hand around my wrist. His grip tightens when I think about turning around and leaving, but he manages to get me inside the ER and up to the front where he greets a nurse.
“His boyfriend, Gabriel Hyde, was just brought in via ambulance. I think he could also use some medical attention, but I’m sure he wants to see Gabriel first.”
“Right this way,” the woman says as she opens the door for me, telling me it’s not good if she’s willing to send me back so quickly. The ER never moves quickly unless it’s really bad.
“Matthew, go,” I tell him, not deserving to be by Gabriel’s side.
“Go, dammit,” Jesse snaps at me. “Do you think you should punish yourself for everyone who has been hurt or died in your life? Go.”
I follow the nurse back to a room where a team is bustling around Gabriel.
“Go stand over by his head,” the nurse urges before going to get the doctor to speak to me.
I don’t want to. I just keep seeing my dead mother lying there. My father who I also couldn’t save… I keep feeling that loss and I don’t know what to do with it. I thought I destroyed these wretched emotions that revolved around their deaths.
The doctor comes in, introduces himself, and explains, “We have the bleeding under control. He’s stable, but we’re going to have to get this surgically repaired.
We’re prepping the OR at the moment, and I’m thinking he’ll be out and into recovery within an hour.
I know it looks serious because of the blood loss, but he’ll be okay. ”
“All right,” I manage to choke out.
Hearing me, Gabriel opens his eyes and gives me a soft smile.
“I’m fine,” he says as his hand lifts and I know he’s searching for mine, but I don’t deserve his love.
“Please don’t do this alone,” he begs, and I know he’s talking about Whitaker. His hand is still searching for mine, but I can’t give it to him. “Please.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, and he grabs my hand before I can pull it away and draws it in. “I fucked up. I promised to keep you safe and I failed.”
“You’re not a fortune teller, Liam. This is our job. Shit happens. Listen to me—”
But before I hear his next words, Mabel rushes in. I let go of Gabriel’s hand because I don’t even deserve to hold it. He deserves someone good because he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and he deserves the best. Not someone like me.
“Honey, it’s okay,” Mabel says. “It’ll be okay.”
“I’ll step out so Clark can see him,” I tell her.
“No, no, you can stay,” Mabel says as she tries to reach for me. “I’m sure you’re really shaken up, having seen the attack. I really think you should stay.”
I shake my head and turn from them.
“Liam!” Gabriel calls, but I rush out to the waiting room.
“Clark, you can go back,” I say before turning to Matthew. “Can I have the keys to get some clothes out of my trunk?”
“You need to have someone look at your wounds.”
“I will. They’re waiting for a room to open up to take me back and asked if I had something dry to change into,” I lie because I deserve to hurt. I don’t deserve to have someone help me. Why waste time on someone like me?
“Okay,” he says, giving me the keys just before I see Jesse come out of the bathroom.
“Don’t give him the keys!” Jesse snaps, but I’m already out the door. I manage to get in the car and pull out just as Jesse reaches the parking spot. I see him in my rearview mirror, standing there… watching me flee.
As I drive, I call Michaels.
“How is Hyde?”
“He’s going into the OR right now, but he was coherent when I saw him,” I say.
“How are you?”
“Fine. I need to talk to that security guard we arrested after Nadine’s murder. Richard.”
“No, you need to stay at the hospital. We’re making progress, Paige. We got two names off the ring. The issue is that the names we matched the ring to belong to two people who are deceased.”
“Did one of them fake their death?”
“The female died in the hospital, so it would be pretty hard to fake that death. The male was killed in a car crash and is more likely to be the suspect. He goes by the name of Whitaker Marret. While his face was unrecognizable, his ID stated who he was and his mother identified the body.”
“Check him, now.”
“You know we can’t check things right this second. We’d have to dig up the body to verify. I’ll have to let you know how fast that approval happens.”
“I’ll go fucking dig it up myself if you don’t. I’ll do it after I’m done talking to Richard. You told me you want this to end, Michaels. How many more people do you want to die before you’re happy?”
“Fine. I’ll have Richard ready for you.”
“Thank you.”
I end the call and speed up, hoping Michaels pulls through.
When I reach the building and hurry through the door, I make a brief stop in the bathroom where I change my clothes and wash the blood off my hands, both from punching the car and from staunching Gabriel’s wound.
The rest of me is sore but not too bad. The winter clothes I’d been wearing gave me a bit of a buffer against the explosion, as well as the distance I’d been from the body when the bomb had gone off.
If the shrapnel hadn’t hit Gabriel, I think he would have fared better as well.
Looking slightly more presentable, I slip into the interrogation room and impatiently wait for Richard, who they assure me will be here shortly.
Just as I’m at the end of my patience and ready to get up and scream at someone to bring Richard to me, the door opens and the former hospital security guard is brought in.
The moment he sees me, his expression darkens.
“What the fuck do you want?” he asks.
What do I want? I want to bash his head into the fucking table until he gives me answers. I want to grab him by his hair and make him bleed until he answers, but with a camera on me, I can’t very well do that.
Taking a deep breath, I try to calm my mind.
This man is in Whitaker’s care because Whitaker has manipulated him.
He’s likely someone who started off having no one before Whitaker got hold of him.
He was possibly at the brink when Whitaker pulled him back.
Whitaker likely manipulated him, much like he did Jesse, by finding someone who had nothing and promising them everything.
I just have to manipulate him into giving me what he needs.
“I wanted to inform you of what’s going on here. Have you been kept in the loop?” I ask.
“You think these assholes tell me anything?”
“Yesterday, your leader—Whitaker, right? Whitaker had a man named Tate Piers plant a body on me and tried to get me arrested. It was sloppy and showed that Tate was not very experienced. He failed to pull this off, and by the time we made it to Tate’s home to arrest him, he was murdered by Whitaker for failing.
I don’t want that fate for you, Richard. ”
He laughs. “He’d never kill one of us,” he says with a smirk.
I open my work phone and click on a picture I’d taken of Tate before sliding it over to him. The smirk immediately drops off his face.
“No… no… someone else did this.”
“You think one of Whitaker’s other pawns did this?”
“We’re not pawns!”
“Are you not? Does he not send you out there to do the dirty work for him while he safely sits in his home? And now… now he’s trying to dispose of any loose ends.”
Richard shakes his head. “You’re lying. Someone else did that.”