11. Chapter 11
Chapter 11
“B ut you’re coming back, though?” he said, eyes scanning her face.
“Yes, on Saturday. I’m on the first flight out tomorrow."
“Wow, tomorrow? That’s quick." He swallowed hard before continuing, “Do you have a ride to the airport?” Although his voice was neutral, it was clear from the strained look on his face that he didn’t want her to leave.
“I’ve arranged a car service to pick me up, since it’s so early.”
Miles nodded and went back to playing. The feeling in the air had somehow shifted, like the bubble they’d been living in for the past week had burst from the sharp poke of reality. Jules didn’t live in Riverbend and would be gone again in a few short weeks. Those were just the facts.
Later that night, after they’d made their way to his bedroom and were lying wrapped around each other, Miles whispered, “I’ll miss you.”
Jules stiffened under his embrace. She knew she’d miss him too, but they shouldn’t say those things out loud. A ringing started in her ears that grew too loud to ignore. This was a mistake; she should have never let it get this far. How could she have thought this would just be a fling with Miles? Of all people, Miles ?
Quickly, she slid out of the bed and gathered her clothes, pulling them on without so much as a glance at Miles who didn't say a word. Slipping on her white sneakers she looked over her shoulder at the bed, face cast downward.
“I’m sorry. This might have been a mistake.”
She gave a small shake of her head and walked out the door, not stopping even after Miles called her name. Once in the driveway, she remembered Miles had picked her up earlier. Through blurry tears, she tapped the Uber app on her phone to order a ride home.
Jules knew Miles deserved an explanation and she should go back inside, but fear kept her rooted in place. She couldn’t let herself get hurt again. Couldn’t let herself hurt him again. Even if she was taking the coward’s way out. Better to leave now, than let it go any farther.
***
The airport was quiet the next morning. Only a few people in suits sat waiting for their routine flights to who knew where. Thankfully, Jules had cut it close this time, avoiding the empty downtime she usually experienced before a flight, leaving her just twenty minutes to grab coffee and a bagel before boarding. She’d get caught up on the hearing details on the plane so they could hit the ground running when she got to the secretary’s office later. No time to even stop at her apartment; she’d bring her bags with her.
Laying in bed awake the previous night, Jules tried to calm her mind but ended up on a roundabout of thoughts and scenarios. Close to the time she had to get up for her ride to the airport, she swore to herself she’d put all thoughts of Miles and Riverbend out of her mind for the next two days and focus only on the work ahead of her. Becca had given her an opportunity to reconnect with her real life, and that’s what she intended to do. Maybe after this trip, she’d be ready to go back to D.C. for good, recommitted to her career and rebuilding the personal life that she’d put on hold for far too long after the split with Luke. She owed it to herself to try again; it was the life she had worked so hard to create.
Rejuvenated with a sense of purpose, Jules strode into the secretary’s suite of offices a few hours later. Becca was already waiting to greet her, worry etched across her face. After a quick greeting, Jules headed towards her office to drop her bags before seeing Secretary Monahan.
“So, as you probably suspected, he’s anxious to say the least,” Becca said, leaning casually against Jules’ office door, although her face was tight with worry. Secretary Monahan never liked to be unprepared or surprised, which this last-minute request to testify must feel like to him, although it came with the territory.
“I’m sure he is, but we already have prepared talking points for this exact topic in one of our briefing books. He’ll be fine. He just needs to get comfortable,” Jules said as she gathered her notebook and pen out of her tote bag. “Is he ready to start now?”
“Yes, I’ve cleared his calendar, so we’ll have all day to get him ready.”
“Perfect. Let’s do it.”
For the next eight hours, Becca, Jules, and Secretary Monahan holed up in his palatial corner office surrounded by soaring views of the Potomac River. By any standards, it was a beautiful space, even more so because it was in a government-owned building which were often outdated. None of them paid any attention to the view, however, as they poured themselves over binders full of talking points and data. This process was never straightforward, but Jules had learned how to deal with the secretary and his insecurities over the last two years by letting him take his time with the materials. He always came around to some sort of agreement with her recommendations, so long as he felt like he had a say in making them himself.
While they waited for their ordered dinner to arrive, Jules snuck out for a quick break, needing some fresh air. As she rode the elevator down to the bottom floor, she had a moment to reflect, feeling detached and exhausted. Normally, this kind of day was what she lived for, thriving on the chaos of a task with a looming deadline. She worked best under pressure, but now all she could think about was home, although the “home” she pictured in her head wasn’t her empty apartment. It was Riverbend.
Startled at the thought, she began aggressively pressing the “lobby” button repeatedly, as if it would make it go any faster. Once outside, Jules regained her composure and breathed in the evening air. Becca joined her after a few moments to indulge in her one vice that not too many people knew about, the occasional Marlboro Light.
“Thanks for coming back. You did great in there,” she said, lighting the cigarette. And for a moment, Jules felt glad she was here. Words of affirmation had always meant a lot to her, even if she never learned how to take a compliment. But then she caught an unmistakable edge in Becca’s voice when she said, “He was so worried all last night. Poor guy couldn’t get an ounce of sleep. He was restless. He just wanted you .”
Becca turned her head, one arm across her chest, propping the other holding the cigarette to her lips. Her gaze shot a note of warning that Jules had never seen from Becca before.
What was she trying to say? How did she know the secretary couldn’t sleep last night, and why did it seem to bother her that he’d requested her help?
Then, as Becca stubbed out her cigarette on the bottom of her heel, Jules was hit with a sense of clarity so forceful it rendered her mute. How stupid and na?ve could she have been? They were sleeping together. Of course, they were. It had been right in front of her all along. The way she always seemed to show up to the office mere minutes after he did, their long, closed-door meetings in the middle of the day, and the inside information Becca seemed to always have on his personal life.
Jules thought about the secretary's family. She’d met his wife multiple times, who was lovey, always remembering Jules’ name. And the kids were still so young. Not even in high school yet.
Logistically, the affair made sense, though. His family lived in Delaware, and he only went home on the weekends. How had she missed it? Her head swam with memories from the last few years, flicking through the evidence.
By the time Jules found her voice again, Becca was already heading back into the building.
After the initial shock wore off, Jules found she wasn’t all too surprised. Maybe that’s why she’d kept Becca at arm’s length for so long? Maybe, deep down, she knew Becca might be capable of being a part of a betrayal like this.
Luckily, she didn’t have to fake ignorance of her newly gained knowledge for too long. The work session ended soon after dinner arrived. On her way out, Jules couldn’t help but notice Becca still in her office, waiting for him.
***
Jules unlocked her apartment door, swinging it wide open as a wave of cool air hit her face. She must have forgotten to turn down the air conditioner when she left a few weeks ago. At least the place didn’t smell stale, she told herself.
Flicking on the lights, she looked around her apartment. It was clean and modern with tall ceilings held up by walls of windows on two sides. The D.C. night gleamed back at Jules, all warm lights and shadows from the row houses below. A large living room stretched in front of her with two white couches she rarely sat on. To the left was an open-concept kitchen that boasted high-end appliances and an island with room for eight seats. When she’d first toured this place, she fell in love with how open and airy it seemed. Now, the sleek luxury furnishings made her recoil and miss the cozy imperfectness of her grandma’s house and the personality Miles brought to his.
Too exhausted to linger on the thought, she took a quick shower to wash the day off before crawling into bed.
Friday started early, with the hearing at eight o’clock and finishing before noon. The secretary did a fine job answering the committee’s questions and evading the topics he knew were tricky. For three hours, Jules sat directly behind him, giving him confidence as he knew he could turn and ask for her counsel, which he did twice. Becca sat ramrod straight next to him, hair twisted into a tight bun as she always wore it. Jules wondered if anyone else knew of their affair and had scanned the rotunda for any signs, but everyone seemed oblivious. To the unsuspecting eye, Becca must have looked every part the professional colleague Jules thought she used to be until last night. How could Becca have allowed herself this enormous lapse of judgment? Jules couldn’t help but feel betrayed, not only on the secretary’s family’s behalf, but also for herself. Their affair could put Becca and Jules’ careers at risk if she joined the new PR firm. Not to mention, it was a bit of a Washington cliché.
Before leaving the Capitol building, the three of them gathered in the hallway.
“Thank you for being here, Jules. I know it cut into time with your family, so I appreciate it,” the secretary said, looking relieved to be done.
“Happy to help,” was all Jules could say back. She was having a hard time regarding him with the same deference she used to. Becca followed her down the hall as she left, catching her by the arm as they turned the corner.
“Can we grab drinks tonight? I’d like to talk to you,” she said, smoothing her black designer shift dress and keeping her voice low. Jules hesitated. She did not want to spend more time with Becca than necessary, but it would give her the opportunity to tell her she wasn’t accepting her job offer as chief communications officer. She decided last night to turn it down. Jules didn’t know what would come next, but she knew she had to follow her gut on this; she couldn’t go into business with someone who would let their personal life become a liability of that magnitude.
“Sure. Just text me when and where,” Jules replied and strode down the hall before Becca could say anything else.
In the hours that passed between arriving back at her apartment and meeting with Becca, Jules mulled over the events of the last few days. Her emotions swung back and forth like an out-of-control pendulum. One moment she felt confident in her decision to walk out on Miles, putting an end to their dangerous fling, and the next she felt despondent over the revelation that her life in D.C. might not be her endgame, and with that, her resolution to keep away from Miles eroded. Not for the first time, she was unmoored; it gave her a headache.
Only one thing felt concrete: she would not join Becca‘s new firm. She’d remain cordial and professional with her, as she was sure their paths would cross again. D.C. was a small town, after all. Jules couldn’t shake the feeling of distrust that now clouded her perception of Becca. She wasn’t conservative in her own personal beliefs, but Jules drew the line at complicit cheating. It said all it needed to about one’s character and she was grateful to have found out before signing the employment contract.
Before exiting the taxi in front of an opulent social club which had recently opened just across the street from the White House, she took a glance at her phone. No messages from Miles. Probably for the best , she thought. Jules arched her head back to look up at the tall building and drew in a long steadying breath to ready herself for the conversation ahead with Becca. She was no stranger to confrontation, but she didn’t revel in it.